Abdullah woke up the next day feeling strangely refreshed. For a moment, everything felt… normal.
Then the itching started.
A sharp, irritating feeling crawled across his arm.
"Oh… the marks. They're still here."
He stared at them briefly before pulling on a long-sleeve shirt, covering everything. Scabs had already begun to form.
Out of sight.
But not out of mind.
The day went on quietly. Eventually, Abdullah decided to text Hailey.
She told him about getting expelled from her old school, brushing it off like it didn't matter, like it was just another thing.
Abdullah tried to lighten the mood.
"It's finally April. Isn't that nice?"
There was a pause.
Longer than usual.
The typing bubble flickered… disappeared… came back.
"By the fifth of April… I don't think I'll be here anymore."
Abdullah sat up.
"What? Why?"
"My sister… my older one… I wanna join her. She… killed herself on the fifth of April. I walked in and found her. She meant everything to me. My best friend. I still need her.
Abdullah didn't reply straight away this time.
He thought.
"Would you really want your other siblings to feel that same pain you feel now… after your older sister did that?"
"They wouldn't care. They're all little. They'll forget me."
"What about your baby brother? You said you care about him a lot, don't ya?"
"Yeah, I do. What about him?"
"Don't you wanna see him grow up? You'd miss everything. Just… try for him. At least."
There was silence again.
Then:
"I'll try."
Abdullah let out a quiet sigh of relief.
"I guess she's similar to me in that way," he thought, glancing down at his arm beneath the sleeve.
The next few days blurred together.
School didn't feel real anymore.
He walked past a group of people.
They laughed.
"They're laughing at me."
The thought came instantly.
Every day felt the same—just waiting for the bell, counting down time.
One evening, Abdullah stood in the kitchen, grabbing something to eat.
His eyes drifted.
The knives.
He paused.
His heartbeat became louder, heavier.
Then he looked away.
He went to his room and opened his phone.
"Hey Cassie, I'm sorry to bother ya but could I just vent?"
"Anytime," she replied.
He hesitated, then typed:
"Hey, I mean… big discovery today. You don't need to worry about me anymore, alright? I'm sorry for being such a burden all the time.
but... he paused.
I don't have the guts to kill myself. I keep thinking about it but… I couldn't go through."
He paused.
"I couldn't do that to you. Don't want you thinking I ghosted ya. As long as I have you, I'll be ok."
"You always will," Cassie replied.
The next day at school, Erop approached him.
"Are you still talking to that druggie?"
"Hey, you don't know what she's been through," Abdullah said, defending her.
Erop kept pressing.
"What happened so, huh?"
Abdullah tried to avoid it.
"It's not my story to tell."
But Erop didn't drop it.
"What happened?"
And Abdullah slipped.
"Her sister killed herself."
The words hit the air.
Abdullah instantly covered his mouth.
"Wait—bro, don't tell anyone. Actually. That's private."
Later that day, Abdullah got home and checked the date.
April 6th.
He quickly messaged Hailey.
"You still here?"
"Yeah… looks like I'm still here."
Relief.
"Can I tell you something? I understand how you feel."
There was a pause.
"I want to kill myself."
"didn't feel like anyone would care if i died but I'm sure my friends would care at least"
Abdullah continued, opening up about everything he'd been dealing with.
"Yeah… I get that," she replied.
Then his phone buzzed.
A notification.
The group chat.
Abdullah opened it slowly.
His eyes scanned the message.
"Did your sister kill her self?" Erop wrote
Abdullah froze.
Everything went quiet.
And in that moment, only one thought crossed his mind—
I'm fucked...