The next day Abdullah told kassie everything.
Every message.Every fight.Every word that had been said between him and his brother.
Kassie readd through it slowly.
When he finished explaining, he exhaled.
"That's basically everything."
A moment passed.
"Oh… maybe you should just block me," Kassie said. "Or we could just cut each other off. I don't want to get between family."
Abdullah stared at the message.
What?
His fingers hovered over the keyboard.
No. I don't have to do that. We can at least stay friends.
Before he could respond, Ali walked into the room.
already going on about cutting off Kassie.
"Alright, just say something like this," he said, already starting to dictate a message. "Make it sound nice. Then slowly cut her off."
Abdullah shook his head.
"No. She says it's fine if i cut her off. I just don't want to do that."
Ali scoffed.
"She doesn't even care. So why not go ahead with it?"
Abdullah stayed quiet.
Ali continued.
"Realistically, you go out for a while and then you break up. You're not going to end up marrying her."
Abdullah didn't reply.
He knew Ali might be right.
That was the problem.
Knowing something would end didn't make letting go any easier.
Later he told Sara what Ali had said and everything that happened yesterday.
"Yeah," she replied. "Realistically she probably would've broken up with you way before then."
"Even if I didn't do anything wrong?"
"She wouldn't end it for no reason," Sara said. "You definitely would have screwed up somewhere."
A couple days later Kassie texted him.
"Listen… I think we should stop talking."
The words hit like a sudden drop in temperature.
"You're a really great and sweet guy," she continued, "I just lost feelings."
Abdullah's fingers froze above the screen.
"Is it because of the stuff with my family?" he asked. "That's no big deal."
"No," she replied. "It's not because of them. I already lost feelings a while ago. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings."
Something inside him twisted.
"So what," he typed slowly, "were you just leading me on? Was it all a lie?"
"No," Kassie replied quickly. "It wasn't a lie at the start. It just… changed."
"What made you lose feelings?" he asked. "What did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do anything," she said. "I just lost feelings."
"Are you sure you're not just saying that to protect me?"
"I mean it. I swear."
Abdullah stared at the screen.
"Then what was the point?"
"What do you mean?"
"What was the point of all that time if you were just going to lose feelings for no reason?" he wrote. "Was I not good enough?"
"You were good enough," Kassie replied. "And it wasn't a waste. We had fun, didn't we?"
Abdullah hesitated.
"Yeah," he admitted.
"Goodbye, Abdullah."
A moment later the chat disappeared.
Blocked.
The room suddenly felt too quiet.
Abdullah set the phone down.
"I guess things just weren't meant to last," he muttered.
Ali walked in later.
"Listen," he began immediately, "here's how you can say it i used ai—"
"Just shut up," Abdullah said.
Ali paused.
"She blocked me. It's fine."
Ali scratched the back of his head.
"Oh. Well… you didn't need her anyway. Plenty of fish in the sea."
"Okay man," Abdullah sighed. "Just go."
That night Abdullah told Sara.
"Hey… I don't know if she told you, but she blocked me."
"Oh yeah," Sara replied. "She told me."
Then another message appeared.
"You're so stupid."
Abdullah blinked.
"How am I stupid?"
"You ruined everything," Sara said. "It's literally all your fault."
"What do you mean? She said it wasn't my fault."
"Well she was lying, I guess."
"Then tell me what I did," Abdullah typed. "What the hell did I do?"
"You did everything wrong."
"But you're not even telling me what," he replied. "So you're the one lying."
"Don't talk to me like that."
"why the fuck do i deserve it"
"because your a weirdo you fucking creep" sara said "the week i was with you was hell"
"always fucking hovering over me and watching me like I felt so uncomfortable and weird"
"like I fucking cried because of you"
Abdullah freezes trying to process everything.
"no that's wrong" he thinks.
"that wait no I was worried about you like my mom told me to make sure you had fun" Abdullah says
"like I just wanted to make sure you were not bored I wasn't staring like I didn't mean to"
"you cut yourself off the coke can I just wanted to make sure you were alright"
"I didn't mean to make you cry that wasn't what i was trying to do I'm sorry"
"yea well you made me feel like shit"
"I didn't know if I knew like I would've backed off you didn't even tell me like I made you uncomfortable if you just told me"
"what do yea mean like I flipped you off and you didn't get the hint how dense are you"
"I thought that was just how you are"
"yea well like you tried to hug me like what the hell"
"its just a hug like I give everyone hugs im just like that its not like I forced you into a hug after you backed away"
"yeah but you fucked up my mental health so much like thats why i fucking cut myself"
"yea blame me for fucking everything as usual guess what sara im not the one who made dragged the coke can against your damn finger"
"fuck you i will blame you cuz it is your fucking fault you make everything worse just by being around i thought you were chill and i felt bad for you but you deserve it all"
"yea I deserve it all for what because I tried to fucking help you"
"HELP ME just shut the fuck up"
"I tried so hard to help you and I tried to do everything I could and you couldn't give less shits about me when I cared so much about you like seriously. YOU want to kill yourself huh, I'm surprised I don't want to fucking kill myself after everything you fucking did.
Abdullah didn't realise it but Ali was watching him.
"who are you talking to." he said
"Sara," Abdullah said.
Ali leaned over and grabbed the phone.
"Open it."
Abdullah hesitated.
"Fine."
Ali scrolled through the messages.
His jaw tightened.
look of rage and hatred filled his eyes and face.
"Give me one second. he said seriously.
Ali started typing.
"this is Ali. shut the fuck up you fucking retarded piece of shit how dare you even think let alone word out the shit you've been saying to my brother if you ever fucking say this shit to him again ill kill you and your fucking wife beater of a father and every other one of your dirty family and freinds you fucking cunt. not an ounce of self respect or respect for family Allah's always watching you cunt go ahead and kill yourself so you can go to hell for eternity stupid bitch"
Then he blocked Sara.
Ali handed the phone back.
"Don't ever waste your time on people who treat you like that," he said.
Abdullah looked at him.
"Thanks."
For the first time in a long time, Ali didn't say anything sarcastic or dismissive or rude.
He just nodded.
And for once, Abdullah felt like he actually had a brother.
Later that night Abdullah lay in bed scrolling through his phone.
Sara was gone.
Kassie was gone.
The message list felt strangely empty.
A small smile tugged at his lips.
"Why do I feel… unburdened?" he murmured.
But sleep brought something else.
In the dream, Kassie stood in front of him.
Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders.
Her green eyes caught the light.
Even the crooked smile he found oddly cute was still there.
"Kassie," he said. "You're back."
"No," she replied calmly.
He woke up suddenly.
The room was dark.
his eyes filled with tears.
"Why do I lose everyone I care about?" he whispered.
The ceiling offered no answers.
The next few days blurred together.
School.
Home.
Sleep.
Repeat.
Everything felt quieter than before.
In one SPHE class the teacher spoke to the room.
"If anyone here is going through a difficult time," she said, "it's okay to reach out for help. You don't have to deal with everything alone. The school has confidential supports, and you can always talk to a teacher you trust."
Abdullah listened carefully.
Beside him, Erop snorted.
"Bro why are you listening like you need it?" he laughed. "Your life is sunshine and rainbows."
Abdullah forced a small laugh.
"Yeah… just listening for a friend who gets bullied a lot."
"It better not be me," Erop joked.
"Don't worry," Abdullah said. "It's not you."
When the bell rang, Abdullah stayed behind.
"Hey Abdullah," Erop said. "What are you waiting for?"
"Give me a sec."
Erop left.
Abdullah walked up to the teacher.
"Miss… if someone wanted help," he said slowly, "is there a way to do it without everyone in school knowing? Or parents?"
"Yes," she said gently. "Of course. Is something wrong?"
"It's just… my grandma passed away recently," Abdullah said. "It's been hard."
it wasn't the full truth but it was enough.
"I understand," she said. "If things get tough you can always talk to your parents but you'll have to speak to one of your year heads."
"I'll take Mr. T," Abdullah said. "I know him better."
"Alright."
The following week Abdullah was called out of class.
The room erupted noises as he stood up.
In the hallway the teacher nodded kindly.
"hello Abdullah i heard you've been struggling with a loss"
"yes sir my grandmother passed away its just not been the best since"
"alright well listen you did good alright telling an adult the school and us were here for you. to support ye all. you dont know how many students have come up to me or the other faculty and how many have gotten counselors or in some cases cahms. it doesnt make you less for needing help"
"thank you sir"
"Go to room 205. Your counselor is waiting."
Inside the small room a woman greeted him.
"Hello Abdullah."
"Hey."
They went through basic questions.
Then she asked something that made him pause.
"Why do you feel like you have to save everyone else?"
Abdullah blinked.
"What do you mean?"
"You try very hard to help people," she said. "But sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves too."
Abdullah thought for a moment.
"Maybe if I treat people the way I want to be treated," he said quietly, "someone might care about me the same way."
She nodded slowly.
Then she pointed to a bowl of stones.
"Pick one that represents you."
Abdullah sifted through them.
Smooth stones.
Round stones.
Shiny ones.
Then he picked one.
brittle looking fragile weak oddly shaped small filled with holes and bumps.
"This one," he said.
"Why?"
Abdullah thought to himself.
"its nothing like the other rocks its the odd one out the weirdo the freak its disgusting and ugly and weak compared to the others its inferior look at all the holes its damaged, broken theres really nothing to like about this rock"
Abdullah turned it in his hand.
"It's… imperfect."
She smiled slightly.
"Everything is imperfect."
"Yeah," Abdullah said. "But its nothing like the other rocks."
"Different doesn't mean worse," she replied.
Abdullah nodded, though he wasn't convinced.
Their time ended soon after.
The days passed quietly.
School resumed.
Nothing changed.
Soon it was New Year's Eve.
Abdullah sat alone in his room.
Outside, distant fireworks cracked through the cold air.
He checked his phone.
No messages.
No plans.
He laid down in his bed.
"Maybe next year will be my year," he said softly.
Midnight arrived.
Fireworks exploded across the sky.
"Happy New Year nano" he whispered.
"happy new year..."