One Tuesday morning, Liang's private line rang. It was the Director of the maximum-security correctional facility where his disgraced sister, Li Wei (the former hacker rival), was serving her sentence.
"Chairman Liang," the Director's voice was strained. "We have an unusual security breach. Inmate Li Wei is demanding a visit from CSO Xiao Mei. She claims it is a 'Mandatory Quarterly Security Audit.'"
Liang frowned. "An audit? She is in prison!"
"She insists that the facility's Wi-Fi firewall is outdated and that if CSO Xiao Mei doesn't fix it, she will release the warden's embarrassing search history."
Xiao Mei, listening in, laughed so hard she nearly dropped her tablet. "That's my girl! That's high-level extortion!"
Liang sighed. "Xiao Mei, we can't just go to a prison for an audit."
"We must, Hubby!" she insisted, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "This is a new security environment! I need to test my Firewell Shield against a real-world, high-stakes threat, even if the threat is wearing an orange jumpsuit."The next day, Liang (in a thousand-dollar suit) and Xiao Mei (in a neon-pink trench coat, claiming it was "optimal camouflage") arrived at the maximum-security prison.
Liang, nervous about the environment, insisted on activating the Kissing Contract's Threat Response Protocol.
As soon as they passed the first metal detector, he pulled her into a tight, mandatory kiss.
"Protocol 1: Threat Environment Login. Executed," he murmured against her mouth.
"Hubby! We are surrounded by guards!" she whispered, laughing, but she deepened the kiss slightly. "But I detect elevated anxiety levels. Protocol accepted."
They were escorted into a drab visitation room where Li Wei sat across the table, looking bored.
Li Wei immediately ignored Liang and looked at Xiao Mei. "CSO, I need you to assess the latency on the internal network. This place is running on a 1990s server rack. The bandwidth for my online chess tournament is unacceptable."Xiao Mei pulled out her portable diagnostic tool—a tablet disguised with cartoon dinosaur stickers. She started scanning the internal network.
Li Wei leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially. "Look, CSO. I'm giving you a free audit. This warden is storing the prison's financial records on a cloud service with a default password. You could hack the entire facility in five minutes."
"I know," Xiao Mei replied, still typing. "But I am no longer a chaotic black hat hacker, Li Wei. I am a highly ethical CSO with a mandatory moral protocol enforced by my husband."
Liang, feeling left out of the highly technical conversation, decided to intervene. He leaned over the table, giving Xiao Mei a loud, highly unprofessional Kiss 2: Midday Audit Kiss right in front of the horrified Li Wei.
Li Wei recoiled. "Disgusting! You are violating the professional integrity of the security audit! This is why your systems are flawed, CSO! Too much illogical emotion!"
Xiao Mei smiled wickedly. "Emotion is my strongest encryption, Li Wei. You cannot penetrate it. Now, about that outdated firewall..."Xiao Mei spent the next hour applying security patches and optimizing the prison's internal network (mostly to stop Li Wei from hacking the coffee machine, not the security doors).
As a thank you, Li Wei pulled out a crudely drawn map on a piece of napkin. "This is the best escape route I found, CSO. Pure logic. You can use it if the corporate world ever becomes too boring."
Liang quickly grabbed the map and tore it into tiny pieces. "My wife is an indispensable CSO, not an escape artist! Her life is already sufficiently chaotic at home!"
Xiao Mei watched him tear the map up, her heart full of warmth. He was so protective, even of her potential for crime.
She walked up to the visitation window where Li Wei stood. "Li Wei. I fixed the firewall. Now, focus on being logical. And next time, don't use your hacking skills to demand gummy worms from your brother's company."
Li Wei rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. "Fine, CSO. You win this round. But tell the Chairman, his Kissing Contract is the dumbest security measure I've ever seen."As they were leaving the prison, walking back through the cold, gray corridors, Liang pulled Xiao Mei into the shadows near an unused guard station.
"Protocol 4: Threat Environment Logout," he whispered, delivering a slow, deep, satisfying kiss that erased the bleakness of the prison visit.
"Report, Chairman?" Xiao Mei breathed, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Report: The environment was hostile, the rival was neutralized, and your professional integrity remains uncompromised," Liang murmured. "My love rating for your chaotic brilliance is stable at 100%."
"And my love for your jealous protection," Xiao Mei replied, giving him one last, tiny, grateful peck. She realized that even in the most illogical places—a high-security prison—their love was the strongest, most stable security system in the world.