Land of Fire. Konohagakure. Public Park.
"Honored guests, dear friends, ladies and gentlemen—good morning."
Clap! Clap! Clap!
Nara Shikaku waited for the applause to settle, then pressed his hands downward for silence.
"Today is February 1st, Year 51 of Konoha. We gather here to celebrate the wedding of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. I am Nara Shikaku. First, on behalf of the groom, the bride, Jiraiya-sama, and the Third Hokage, I offer our sincere gratitude and warmest welcome to all who have come."
More applause.
"Last year, we endured the most tragic battle since the founding of the village: the Battle of Kikyo Pass. Many comrades fell. Many families suffered loss. Yet we emerged victorious. By the end of the year, every major village signed the ceasefire. To those now resting in the Pure Land—we thank them. Because of their sacrifice, the next generation will be born into peace."
"…Yeah, sure," I muttered.
I stared at Shikaku's speech, my eyebrow twitching. That script had "Ghost of Hiruzen's Desk" written all over it. Somehow he managed to link marriage, childbirth, and the Will of Fire into a single sermon.
Burn yourself bright so new leaves may sprout.Leap bravely into the tomb of marriage so the next generation can enjoy the world.
Spare me.
The shinobi world was brutal enough. I barely made it to eighteen before wanting a refund on life, and he wanted new babies to experience it too?
I glanced to my side. Uchiha Itachi—pretending not to be five years old—was quietly downing cups of soda like an alcoholic denied sake.
I leaned toward him and whispered, "Hey, kid. Slow down on that."
"Why?" He blinked, confused.
He was supposed to sit at the children's table, but the kids there were eating with their hands like feral raccoons, so he migrated to our table with his tiny stool.
He'd barely had two sodas before I warned him. Poor child.
"No deep reason." I shrugged. "I just heard your family put down a gift of two hundred thousand ryō. I'm worried you'll drink yourself full and waste the investment. Your folks married early; you're already losing. If they divorced and remarried, they might've earned some back from the Fourth Hokage couple."
I crossed my arms and didn't elaborate.
If memory served, Minato and Kushina would be dead soon. That two hundred thousand was going straight into the void. And years later, Naruto got a wedding but Sasuke didn't.
Losses on both ends.What a tragic household.
Two meals, forty thousand ryō up in flames. Incredible.
"Beautiful bride," Shikaku continued, "do you take this handsome groom?"
"I do!"
"Wooo—!!!"
The crowd erupted. My ears rang. Onstage, Minato and Kushina radiated enough affection to choke a bijuu. I clapped along, face stiff, purely because I'd already gifted a thousand ryō and wanted my meal's worth.
If the system hadn't appeared last night, I'd be halfway out of the village after dessert.
While the celebration roared on, I peeked at Itachi—silent now—and closed my eyes, reopening the system interface.
When I first saw the "Beginner's Gift Pack," I lost motivation to keep reading. But I figured I should at least find out how this thing planned to make me stronger.
[Beginner Mission: Uchiha Naoki, exploiting his status as an elder's grandson, often bullies your brother (Uchiha Itachi) when Itachi leaves on missions. Defeat Uchiha Naoki and make him your loyal supporter.]
[This mission cannot be abandoned.]
"…Huh?"
Uchiha Naoki?
Who in the world was that?
I flipped through my memories. Nothing. No such guy.
And why was Itachi my brother?
I turned to Itachi beside me, placed a hand on his head, and asked, "Itachi, are there any other Uchihas with your exact name?"
"No."
I shifted my gaze to the elder on my right. "Elder Mado, do we have someone named Uchiha Naoki in the clan?"
He lowered his cup, eyed me suspiciously, and inched away. "Why do you want him?"
"Nothing much." I casually sipped my drink. "I suddenly remembered being bullied by him years ago. I'm bored today, so I want a fair rematch."
BANG.
His palm slammed onto the table with enough force to send plates airborne. Itachi nearly choked to death.
"You—Uchiha Tobika! You—you dare challenge Naoki? You shameless brat! Just because I opposed your absurd proposal at the clan meeting, now you want revenge on my grandson?!"
Wait.His grandson?
I blinked slowly. "How old is Naoki?"
"Two."
Ah.
I gently lifted Itachi and swapped seats with him, placing him between me and Elder Mado.
Very gracefully… I created distance.
"System. What year is it now?"
[Year 57 of Konoha.]
"Bull—"
I glanced at the giant banner behind Minato and Kushina:
"Congratulations to Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. Married on February 1st, Year 51 of Konoha."
Exactly.Year 51.This was literally their wedding.
"System, it is Year 51."
[Please refer to the system-designated timeline.]
I inhaled deeply. Exhaled. Controlled the urge to stab my own forehead.
"…And why is Itachi my brother? Even by clan hierarchy, I'm a generation above him."
[As your biological brother from the same mother, he was born three years earlier. He is your elder.]
My body trembled.
"I am an only child. I was raised on formula. I never drank a drop of anyone's milk. Where did this 'same mother' come from?"
[Please refer to the system-designated relationships.]
Silence.
A long, hateful silence.
I understood.This system… started six years ahead of schedule.And worse, it bound to the wrong person.
This wasn't a "Counterattack System."It was the 'You Are Supposed to Be Sasuke' System.
Fine. Whatever. It's attached to me now. I'll own it.
"I request a mission change."
[Mission cannot be changed.]
"I am not Uchiha Sasuke. Stop giving me his storyline!"
[Please refer to the system-designated mission path.]
"I'm a jonin. A top-tier jonin within the clan. And you want me to 'counterattack' by beating up a toddler still drinking from a bottle?! How is that reverse destiny?! Do you know what 'reverse destiny' means?! Look it up!"
[Please complete the beginner mission.]
"Replace Naoki with Elder Mado. I'll reverse his destiny."
[Please complete the beginner mission.]
"Uninstall the system. I'm defecting."
[Please complete the beginner mission.]
"Ha… ha…"
I stared at the sky, eyes cold.This system wasn't what I imagined.Not a sign-in cheat.Not a power-up grind.
It was stubborn, delusional, and absolutely convinced I was someone else.
Binding error?Timeline error?Identity error?
It would die before admitting any of it.