The video opened on a woman wearing an absurdly provocative outfit—using Mona's avatar—twisting her hips to an irresistibly catchy beat.
"Freedom ain't just for show—
It's my confident flow~
Niu-ma disco! Let we dance~
No work tomorrow~~
Maybe I can't afford a meal,
But I can still groove with zeal~"
The addictive rhythm, paired with the shameless swaying, looped again and again. Across all Seven Nations, countless men teetered on the verge of spontaneous nosebleeds.
[Six-Fingered Jose: She's so hot!! (nosebleed)]
[Albert: If only Miss Barbara danced like that too… (nosebleed)]
[Lawrence: The chairman speaks the truth! (nosebleed)]
[Iron Tongue Tian: Outrageous! Such immorality! Such indecency! I must denounce this behavior—! (nosebleed)]
[Chef Mao: That's it? That's all? No paid version? (nosebleed)]
[Ying'er: Wow… this outfit sure knows men. Give or take, she's basically wearing nothing!]
[Hiiragi Senri: Kujou Kaneharu! Stop watching!]
[Kujou Kaneharu: H-how did you know— fine! Fine! I'm closing it! (nosebleed)]
[Hiiragi Shinsuke: Wait… Kaneharu, did you just call my daughter by her first name? Don't tell me you two are… (nosebleed)]
[Teppei: Lady Kokomi is way prettier! Lady Kokomi is—!! (fountain nosebleed)]
The VIP room was equally chaotic.
[Bennett: Weird… watched it again… still weird!]
[Madame Ping: You youngsters really know how to play. I'm old now, truly old.]
[Zhongli: Is it she who's become worn out… or I? (thinking.jpg)]
[Barbara: Lord Barbatos! I feel violated! Please cleanse my soul!]
[Venti: Ehe~ Quite the dance! If I mimic that under the statue tomorrow, I might make a mountain of Mora!]
[Xingqiu: By the way, who even is that woman? Doesn't look like anyone from Liyue.]
[Yae Miko: Not Inazuman either. We don't have foreign courtesans like this running around.]
[Lisa: She does look like an astrologist though…]
[Paimon: Isn't that Mona? Mona! Blink twice if you've been kidnapped!]
[Lumine: Don't tell me… she got so poor she had to go that far?]
[Paimon: Could be! People die for money, birds die for food!]
[Hexenzirkel Member A: Mona? How did she fall this low?!]
[Eula: Is this how Sumeru people dance? So terribly unrefined.]
[Nilou: I swear by Little Lord Kusanali—Sumeru has NEVER produced a dance or song this vulgar!]
[Alhaitham: This individual belongs to the Hexenzirkel. Please refrain from assuming this represents the entire region.]
While the barrage continued, the person at the center of the chaos—Mona herself—was ready to explode.
[Mona: AAAAH!!! Mishearing Maniac, get out here!! I'm going to KILL YOU!!!]
Her fury practically seeped out of the screen.
But the Mishearing Maniac did not appear.
Instead, the livestream moved into the next phase—the Quiz Round.
[Ding! Question: Who is the woman dancing in the video?] Mona's Master
B. Mona Herself
C. Mona's Mother
D. Kaeya
[PS: You have one minute. If no one answers, a random viewer will be selected.]
[Xingqiu: First rule of life—eliminate Kaeya!]
[Zhongli: By general reasoning, this is unlikely to be the real Mona.]
[Tartaglia: So… could it be her master?]
[Mona's Master: DO NOT DRAG ME INTO THIS. I have never raised such a foolish disciple!]
[Mona: OLD HAG I SWEAR I'LL @#¥%& YOU—]
[Kaeya: Well, the answer is becoming obvious. Care to take the lead, Lord Diluc? @Diluc]
[Diluc: Not interested. Leave me out of this.]
[Paimon: Mona, is that really your mom? @Mona]
[Jean: Like mother, like daughter. Seems accurate enough.]
[Mona: My mom can't POSSIBLY be this stupid!!]
[Ganyu: Now things… have only gotten even more confusing.]
[Gorou: General? What do you think, Lady Kokomi? @Kokomi]
[Kokomi: …connection lost]
Seconds passed.
Yet no one dared answer.
Everyone could sense it—
This "quiz" was obviously a trap.
No one wanted to be the one to step on the landmine.
[Ding! Time's up. Randomly selecting a participant…][Ding! Congratulations to the exorcist of Liyue—Chongyun!]
At Feiyun Commerce Slope, inside Xingqiu's courtyard, Chongyun froze.
"Eh?! M-me? I have to answer? But I don't know anything!"
He had been too absorbed in watching the chaos to expect to get chosen.
"Come here, Chongyun. I'll help you think it through."
Xingqiu slung an arm over his shoulder, pointing at the four options.
"Look—Mona and her master already denied it. Kaeya's impossible."
He raised a confident finger.
"That leaves only one: Mona's mother! It has to be C!
Only someone's mom would troll them that hard!"
Chongyun hesitated.
"R-really…?"
"Trust me," Xingqiu said with absolute sincerity.
Chongyun clenched his teeth.
"Alright… System, I choose C!"
Xingqiu wasn't the most reliable person in Teyvat…
But Chongyun decided to trust him just this once.
[Ding! Correct. Chongyun has received the reward — Pure Frost Technique!]
...