First on Bai Hao's list: the Qi Condensation Pill.
He couldn't help recalling where every young cultivator's dream began—
Battle Power: Third Stage!
Sure, it wasn't an emperor-grade elixir that would turn him into the Flame Emperor overnight…
But becoming a Dou Fighter instantly?
Definitely achievable.
At the very least, he'd finally be able to beat up a few Treasure Hoarders.
Without hesitation, Bai Hao swallowed the pill.
A scorching current burst from his dantian, flooding his limbs and bones.
The medicinal power erupted violently—tempering his muscles, blood vessels, and meridians.
His skin flushed scarlet, veins bulging; black grime oozed from his pores like sludge.
He gritted his teeth and endured.
The process lasted half an hour.
When the final trace of medicinal energy settled, Bai Hao felt reborn. His limbs were lean and powerful, abs carved into eight clean segments—
and even his facial features had sharpened into something strikingly handsome.
Unfortunately…
he was covered head to toe in a revolting layer of filth.
All the impurities accumulated over two decades had been expelled.
So Bai Hao dragged out his Super Deluxe Bathtub, filled it using Roxy's Silent Water Magic, and soaked himself thoroughly.
When he stepped out, he felt utterly refreshed—clear-headed, brimming with energy.
Then he changed into Morax's Unmoving Profound Dark Robes,
drew Kunwu — the Rainbow-Severing Sword,
and struck several dramatic poses before the mirror.
If he walked down Liyue Harbor dressed like this, he'd probably be swarmed by entire armies of Morax fans begging for photos.
"…But damn, this thing's heavy."
He set the spear on the dining table and flexed his sore arms.
The Kunwu Rainbow-Severing Sword—legend said it was forged by Master Craftsman Kunwu, quenched in meteor fire for ten long years.
It was so ridiculously overpowered miHoYo had to remove it from the game.
"miHoYo, you villains—may your pulls forever be blue!"
Still… a divine weapon was a divine weapon.
The spear weighed tons.
Even with his new strength—comparable to a one-star Dou Fighter able to crush stones—Bai Hao could barely swing it for a few moves.
And the system quickly proved it.
The spear snapped the dining table clean in half,
and nearly plunged through the floorboards.
If Bai Hao hadn't caught it in time, some poor diner in the restaurant lobby below might've experienced a firsthand demonstration of gravity in the worst way.
"…Great. Now I'm broke too."
Leaving Wanmin Restaurant, Bai Hao shook his shriveled coin pouch and sighed.
When Xiangling and Guoba had burst into the room earlier, he'd already shoved the divine robes, the spear, and Keqing's black stockings into his system inventory.
Then he switched hastily into a spare set of Liyue clothes.
He'd managed to bluff past Xiangling without blowing his identity—
but the broken table and damaged floor still had to be compensated.
And thus, the Mora Shenhe had helped him loot…
was basically gone.
He needed money—fast.
Should he cosplay the Geo Archon and charge fans for photos?
Tempting…
but the Millelith would definitely "invite" him for tea at the Ministry of Civil Affairs.
Not that he would mind being interrogated by Yelan…
Rob the Northland Bank?
Heck no.
Offending the Snezhnayan "comrades" was suicide.
The Fatui held grudges worse than he did—
and that bastard Childe was still in Liyue.
After thinking it over, Bai Hao sighed and reopened the Teyvat Fan-Creation Livestream System.
Even though he'd logged off earlier, the main livestream room remained active—
and the chat was buzzing.
[Borlai: What kind of scam system is this?! I got charged three million Mora for one wrong answer!]
[Dongsheng: Hahaha! Someone actually picked that one? You fool!]
[Albert: My punishment is not being allowed to donate to Miss Barbara for a whole month… sniff…]
[Celsius: Mine was worse—I had to fight a Cryo Lawachurl!]
[Chang the Ninth: Huff… the damned quiz made me run around Liyue Harbor ONCE. That's hundreds of kilometers!!]
[Sister Bao'er: It banned me from robbing anyone for half a month. Forced unpaid leave!]
[Zheping: Lost a year of lifespan… sigh. Guess even the gods don't know I exist.]
[Anxi: There's no way to get the right answer. This is rigged!]
The quiz event was open to everyone.
But unlike the VIP room, normal users faced a thousand different options, randomized per person.
Still, people kept trying—
because a one-in-a-thousand chance was still better than any real-world lottery.
Naturally, countless unfortunate souls received "punishments" for their courage.
Not Bai Hao's business, though. Nobody forced them to answer.
He was here for something else—
money.
Opening the admin panel, he scrolled to "Mona CV Remix (Horse Disco Version)",
clicked Enable Paid Download,
set the price to 100 Mora,
and confirmed.
A hundred Mora—chump change in the real world.
But in Teyvat?
Mona and the Traveler could dine on 20,000 Mora.
So 100 Mora?
Practically free.
Bai Hao firmly believed that with how catchy the remix was, countless people would happily pay to loop it.
"Want to watch? Then pay up, dear viewers!"
And thanks to the system's airtight privacy settings, nobody could share or pirate the video—
every download was bound to the viewer alone.
No one else could see what you were watching.
Perfect privacy. Zero piracy.
The dream of every content creator.
Satisfied, Bai Hao shut the system.
"Lady Megistus," he chuckled, "I'll squeeze out every last bit of value you've got."
As for making new content—
he would wait until tomorrow.
Everyone only generated emotional energy once per day.
Today's harvest was complete, and Bai Hao wasn't the type to drain the pond all at once.
You had to think sustainably—
one scoop at a time.
Now then… what next?
Obviously—
test that 2.1-billion-damage ultimate, Heavenly Earthquake!
The true gem of today's gacha haul.
Where should he unleash it?
A mischievous grin spread across Bai Hao's face.
With the divine spear slung across his back,
and trouble brewing in his mind,
he strolled leisurely toward Liyue Harbor's docks…
◇ I'll be dropping one bonus chapters for every 10 reviews. comment
◇ One bonus chapter will be released for every 100 Power Stones.
◇ You can read 50 chapter ahead on P@treon if you're interested: patreon.com/Mona_studios