Ten minutes turned into fifteen, then twenty. Jaokhun was starting to think Agent Pradit wasn't coming.
Above the river, the Naga and Garuda were still arguing.
"I have CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE," the Naga was saying. "I appear in LITERATURE."
"You appear in one poem from 1782," the Garuda said. "I'm in the national emblem. We are not the same."
"The emblem is tiny! No one even looks at it!"
Jaokhun sat on a bench, watching them argue. Some tourists were taking selfies by the river. None of them looked up. None of them saw the two giant creatures fighting about Thai culture.
A voice spoke behind him. "You can see them."
Jaokhun turned around. A man stood there, maybe fifty years old, wearing a wrinkled shirt and pants that looked like they'd been slept in. He was holding coffee from 7-Eleven and looked exhausted.
"Are you Agent Pradit?"
"Yes." The man drank his coffee and made a face like it was the worst thing he'd ever tasted but he'd keep drinking it anyway.
"They're right there." Jaokhun pointed at the sky.
Agent Pradit didn't look up. "I know. I can see them too. That's why I'm here."
"So this is real?"
"Yes. You can see them. That means you have the Sight. That means I have to…"
His phone rang. An old flip phone that looked like it was from 2010. He answered it.
"Agent Pradit... Yes... Where?... How many?... Alright, I'm on my way." He hung up and sighed deeply. "Of course. Of course there's an emergency right now."
"What's happening?"
"Manifestation in Nonthaburi. Actual threat level, not just arguing gods." He looked up at the Naga and Garuda, who were still bickering. "I need to handle that first. Someone else will come talk to you."
"Someone else?"
"My supervisor. She's... very enthusiastic." He said this like it was a warning. "Just stay here. She'll be here in ten minutes."
"Wait, what do I…"
But Agent Pradit was already walking away, phone pressed to his ear, looking more tired than before.
Jaokhun sat back down on the bench.
Above him, the argument continued.
"You're just jealous because people actually like me," the Naga said.
"People are TERRIFIED of you. That's not the same as liking you."
"Fear IS respect in mythological terms!"
Jaokhun pulled out his phone. He had three texts from Nont, all variations of "WHERE IS THE RENT MONEY."
He was about to type a response when he heard an aggressively cheerful voice.
"Hello! Are you Jaokhun?"
He looked up. A woman stood there, maybe in her forties, wearing a bright orange shirt with cartoon cats on it. She was smiling like she'd just won the lottery.
"Uh, yes?"
"I'm Khun Onepen! I'm the supervisor at the Bangkok LMFAO office! Agent Pradit called and said he found someone with the Sight! This is so exciting!" She sat down next to him on the bench without asking. "We haven't had a successful recruitment in eight months!"
"Is that... good?"
"It's wonderful! People with the Sight are so rare. One in a million! And you can see them, right?" She pointed up at the sky where the Naga and Garuda were still arguing. "The grumpy snake and the dramatic bird?"
"You can see them too?"
"Of course! I have the Sight. That's why I work for LMFAO." She pulled out a folder from her bag. A tote bag with a cheerful flower pattern. "Now, Agent Pradit mentioned he was about to explain your options?"
"He hasn't said anything much and then he got called."
"Ok, here are your options! Option one is boring. You forget everything, go back to normal life, miss out on an amazing opportunity." Onepen waved her hand dismissively. "Let's talk about option two. Join LMFAO! Work with us! See the real world behind the Veil!"
She said this with the enthusiasm of someone selling insurances.
"What's the job actually like?"
"It's incredible! You get to see supernatural entities, help maintain the balance between realms, protect people from manifestations!" She pulled out a glossy brochure that looked professionally printed. "We're a global organization. Over a thousand years old. Offices in every country. You'd be part of something historic!"
Jaokhun looked at the brochure. It had photos of impressive office buildings and professional-looking people in suits. Everyone looked competent and well-funded.
"This looks... nice."
"It IS nice! And the benefits are amazing." Onepen pulled out the contract. "Your student debt? Gone. Completely cleared the day you sign. We have arrangements with the Ministry of Education."
"All of it?"
"Every baht. However much you owe." She flipped through the contract. "Plus housing allowance! 5,000 baht per month for your first year. And the salary! After a six-month training period, you'll make 30,000 baht per month as a Grade 1 Agent."
Jaokhun sat up straighter. "That's good money."
"It's excellent money! And it gets better. After two years, you could be promoted to Grade 2 with 37,000 baht per month. After five years, Grade 3 with 45,000 per month." She showed him a colorful chart. "Plus health insurance, dental, hazard pay for dangerous cases, equipment provided, training opportunities!"
"What's the contract length?"
"Seven years! Very reasonable. We used to require thirty years, can you imagine? But the union protested and now it's much more manageable." She smiled brightly. "Seven years of exciting work, good salary, amazing experiences!"
Above them, the Naga shouted something about territorial rights.
"What about them?" Jaokhun pointed up. "Don't you need to do something?"
"Oh, them! Yes!" Onepen stood up and cupped her hands around her mouth. "EXCUSE ME! NAGA THONGCHAI! GARUDA! Can you please take your argument back to the myth realm? You're disturbing the human realm!"
The Naga looked down. "We're having an important discussion about cultural representation!"
"That's wonderful! But you need to have it in the proper location!" Onepen pulled out her phone and started typing. "I'm filing this as an Informal Manifestation Report. If you go back now, there's no penalty. If you stay, I'll have to escalate it to a Code 19, which means paperwork for everyone!"
"Paperwork?" the Garuda said with distaste.
"So much paperwork! Forms, testimonies, historical context reports!" Onepen kept smiling. "Or you could just go back now and continue your discussion in comfort?"
The Naga and Garuda looked at each other.
"Fine," the Naga grumbled.
"We'll resume this later," the Garuda added.
They both disappeared.
Onepen sat back down, still smiling. "See? Most entities are very reasonable when you explain the administrative consequences! Now, where were we?"
"The contract."
"Right! Seven years. The training period is six months. It's an internship, so technically unpaid, but you get university credit!" She said this cheerfully. "It counts toward your graduation requirements!"
Jaokhun's smile faded. "Unpaid for six months?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"I have 47 baht in my bank account. I owe 15,000 baht in back rent. My roommate is about to kick me out." Jaokhun leaned back. "You're offering me six months of unpaid work?"
Onepen's smile faltered slightly. "The housing allowance starts immediately..."
"5,000 per month doesn't cover my back rent. I'll be homeless in a week." Jaokhun crossed his arms. "You said I'm one in a million. How long until you find another person with the Sight?"
"Well... it varies..."
"Could be years, right?" Jaokhun smiled. The same smile he used when selling fake concert tickets. "Meanwhile, how many manifestations are happening across Bangkok? You seem pretty understaffed if one agent had to run off to an emergency and you had to come here instead."
Onepen blinked. "You're very perceptive."
"I'm broke and desperate. That makes me realistic." Jaokhun leaned forward. "Here's my counter-offer. You pay my 15,000 baht back rent right now. Today. And you pay me during the internship. Not much. Just 5,000 baht per month. Enough to survive."
"The internship is supposed to be…"
"Unpaid, I know. But I can't work for free for six months. So either you pay me a stipend, or I walk away and you wait for the next one-in-a-million person to call emergency services." Jaokhun stood up. "Your choice."
Onepen looked at him. Her smile had changed from cheerful to impressed.
"You're a negotiator."
"I'm strategic." Jaokhun started walking away. "Let me know what you decide."
"Wait! Let me make a call."
Jaokhun stopped. Turned around.
Onepen pulled out her phone and dialed. It rang twice.
"Hello, Regional Office? This is Onepen from Bangkok... Yes, I found a recruit with the Sight... There's a small situation. He's requesting immediate back rent payment and a monthly stipend during internship... 15,000 baht for rent, 5,000 per month for six months... I know it's not standard protocol... He's threatening to decline recruitment... Yes, he understands we need him..."
She listened for a long moment. Her smile returned.
"Wonderful! Thank you!" She hung up and looked at Jaokhun. "Regional office approved it. You just negotiated a 45,000 baht signing package."
"Sounds like a bargain for someone who's one in a million."
"The 15,000 baht for your back rent will be transferred to your account within the hour. The 5,000 baht monthly stipend will be paid on the first of each month, starting next week." Onepen pulled out the contract. "After your six-month internship, your salary increases to 30,000 baht per month as a Grade 1 Agent. All other terms remain the same."
"And my student debt?"
"Cleared immediately. That was always part of the offer." She smiled. "You're going to love working with us! The team is wonderful, the work is meaningful, and you'll get to see things most people never know exist!"
"What if I want to quit?"
"Oh! Well, there's a penalty." Onepen flipped to a page. "We calculate it based on benefits received. Student debt clearance, housing allowance, training costs, equipment, stipend payments. If you quit early, you repay a prorated amount. The formula is here."
Jaokhun looked at the complicated formula. "How much roughly?"
"Depends on when you quit. Year one, maybe 800,000 baht. It decreases over time. By year five, very minimal." She turned the page. "But honestly, most people don't quit! The work is so rewarding and the salary is excellent!"
"Is the contract legally binding?"
"Legally and metaphysically binding!" Onepen said this cheerfully, like it was a fun feature. "It's on page eleven. We use traditional binding protocols to ensure contract compliance."
Jaokhun flipped to page eleven. There was a clause in small print:
"This contract is bound by organizational protocols and metaphysical jurisdiction frameworks. Early termination without penalty payment may result in enforcement measures as determined by metaphysical arbitration."
"What does 'metaphysical arbitration' mean?"
"It means the contract is magically enforced! Very traditional, very effective." Onepen smiled. "But don't worry about it! You're going to love the job so much you won't want to quit!"
Jaokhun looked at the contract. Seven years. Good salary. Student debt cleared. Back rent paid today.
And he'd just successfully negotiated an extra 45,000 baht.
"Where do I sign?"
"Three pages! Eight, fifteen, and twenty-three. They're tabbed!" Onepen handed him a pen.
Jaokhun signed all three pages.
Onepen took the contract and pulled out a small scanner from her bag. She scanned each signature page, and her phone beeped happily.
"Done! You're officially part of LMFAO! Welcome to the team!" She shook his hand enthusiastically. "Training starts Monday at 8 AM. I'm so excited! You're going to love our office!"
"Where is it?"
"Sukhumvit Soi 23! Very convenient location. Third floor, above a 7-Eleven." She pulled out a printed map with the location marked. "Bring your ID, student ID, and house registration copy. We'll get you set up with everything!"
"What will I be doing?"
"Training! Learning about the Veil, supernatural entities, proper documentation procedures. It's fascinating!" Onepen beamed. "The first six months are mostly orientation and administrative work, but you'll learn so much! Then you'll move into field work!"
"Field work?"
"Investigating manifestations, containing entities, protecting humans from supernatural threats!" She said this like it was the most exciting job in the world. "You'll work with our two field agents. They're experienced, professional, very good at what they do!"
"Sounds great."
"It IS great!" Onepen handed him a welcome packet. It was professionally printed with the LMFAO logo. "Here's information about benefits, workplace policies, and training schedule. Oh! And don't tell anyone about what you saw today. Confidentiality clause is on page eleven. 50,000 baht penalty per violation."
"Got it."
"You can tell people you got a government job in data management. That's vague enough!" She smiled. "Check your bank account in about an hour. The 15,000 should arrive!"
"Thanks."
"See you Monday! 8 AM sharp! Don't be late!" Onepen waved cheerfully and walked away, practically bouncing.
Jaokhun sat back down on the bench.
He'd just negotiated his way into a seven-year contract with a magical government agency.
He'd gone from 47 baht and crippling debt to financial stability.
And if he was clever enough to negotiate a signing bonus, maybe he was clever enough to find a way out of the contract early without paying the penalty.
Maybe.
His phone buzzed. A message from Nont: "Dude. Rent. Monday. Final warning."
Jaokhun typed back: "Check incoming transfers in one hour. Problem solved."
"What?"
"Got a government job. Good salary. I'm employed now."
"You're lying."
"Check your bank account in one hour."
He looked at the welcome packet. Professional printing. Nice logo. Everything looked legitimate and well-funded.
Maybe this job really would be great.
His phone buzzed again. Unknown number.
"This is Khun Onepen! I forgot to mention - wear something professional on Monday! We want to make a good first impression! So excited to have you on the team! You're going to love it! 😊"
Jaokhun stared at the emoji.
She seemed very enthusiastic about this job.
That was probably a good sign.
Right?
One hour later, Jaokhun's phone buzzed.
Bank notification: "Incoming transfer: 15,000 baht from Ministry of Interior - Employment Advance Payment."
His bank account: 15,047 baht.
The money was real.
He texted Nont: "Rent payment sent. Check your account."