Gabriele Guevara: So… you can talk after all!
Lady: Of course I can. In fact, I can speak far better than most humans — and in many languages too.
Gabriele grabs his stomach and bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
Gabriele: Wait—what did you just say? Humans?! Hahahahahahaha! Oh wow—hahahahaha—
(He keeps laughing until his face turns red.)
Lady: Yes, I said it right. You humans only know two or three languages. I know even the ones that don't exist in this world.
Gabriele: Uuuh—ouch—kelo— hahaha! Oh, that one too? (He laughs even harder and collapses onto the couch, clutching his stomach.)
Gabriele: Please, stop! My stomach hurts! No more, I can't—
Alright then, since you know languages… say something in Spanish!
Lady: El vello de tu pecho es negro.
Gabriele Guevara bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach again.
Gabriele: Do you even know what you just said? Well… at least your Spanish was perfect!
Lady: It means, "The hair on your chest is black."
Gabriele laughs even louder, falling back on the bed.
Gabriele: Oh my God—haha! Alright, alright, now say something in French!
Lady: Tu n'es pas seulement beau quand tu chies.
Gabriele buries his face into a pillow, laughing uncontrollably.
Gabriele: Oh no—please tell me you actually know what that means!
Lady: Of course. It means "You're not only handsome when you poop."
Gabriele: (still laughing) Ha—ha—alright, enough! Let's move to Asia now. Say something in an Indian language… though I won't understand a word!
Lady: Okay… Kaunse color ki chaddi pehne ho?
Gabriele: Wait—what? What does that mean?
Lady: It means, "What color underwear are you wearing?"
Gabriele's laughter explodes again; tears roll down his face as he gasps for breath.
Gabriele: Stop—stop! No more! I'm done talking to you. Sometimes you sound brilliant, and sometimes… unbelievably dumb! You're impossible!
Gabriele Guevara: Listen to me before anyone starts asking about your identity. We need to come up with something—fast!
Lady: I don't want to talk to you. I'm going downstairs for breakfast. Mom and Dad are waiting.
(She walks off. Gabriele sighs and follows her downstairs.)
Gabriele: Wait—just hear me out! Please, listen to me!
Rafaella: Oh good, you're both here. I've set the table—come, eat.
Gabriele: (surprised) You're here too?
Luca (his friend): Yeah, man! When I heard your gf was here, I figured I'd stay for breakfast.
Lady: Of course, Luca. You're most welcome.
(Everyone begins eating. For the first few minutes, it's peaceful, but Gabriele keeps glancing around nervously, praying no one asks the wrong question.)
Then—
Rafaella: So, dear… which country are you from?
(Gabriele freezes. Inside his head:)
Oh God. Not that question. Anything but that.
(He pretends to choke dramatically on his food, clutching his throat and coughing loudly. The lady quickly rushes behind him and gives a strong pat on his back, making the apple piece fly out.)
Rafaella: Oh thank you, dear!
Gabriele: (still acting weak) Please… take me to my room.
Rafaella: Yes, yes—go, rest for a while.
(The two climb the stairs. Just then—)
Rafaella: Wait, dear—you never told us your name!
Gabriele presses his hand to his chest.
Gabriele: Ahh! My heart! It's my heart! Hurry—help me upstairs!
(The lady rolls her eyes, lifts him effortlessly in her arms, and says calmly:)
Lady: Silly human. Your heart is on the left side, not the right.
(Everyone downstairs is left in stunned silence. Luca's mouth hangs open. Rafaella slowly closes it with her hand.)
Luca: I swear—she's definitely a boxer.
(Gabriele and the lady reach their room.)
Gabriele takes out a notebook and starts writing.
Gabriele: Here—your name, your city, and your new fake identity. Memorize it, got it?
(The lady glances at it, reads everything in under two minutes, and hands it back.)
Gabriele: Wait—what? I told you to memorize it, not read it! Learn it properly this time!
Gabriele handed her the notebook again and turned around to stretch for a moment, finally relaxing.
A second later, he suddenly felt something moving near his back — like the lady's hand had slipped under his shirt.
Gabriele: Oh? So you're in a romantic mood now, huh?
(He chuckled teasingly, still facing away.)
Then he felt something near his waist — like something moving down his pants.
Gabriele: Whoa, someone's getting way too naughty—
Before he could finish, something bit him sharply!
Gabriele: Aaaaaaaahhhh!
He jumped to his feet in shock.
Gabriele: Wait—if you're standing there... then what's inside my pants?!
(He quickly peeked—and there it was, a tiny mouse staring back at him.)
Gabriele: Aaaaaaaahhh! There's a mouse!
(His scream echoed all the way down to the ground floor.)
Rafaella: (hearing the shout, smiling shyly) Sounds like our boy is ready to be a parent.
William: (nodding seriously) I was thinking the same thing.