Back in Millbrook, Rick spent three days recovering from the psychological trauma of dying fourteen times to a dragon. He collected his reward money from the guild, which was a satisfying five thousand gold that Fortuna immediately tried to gamble away before Rick physically tackled her outside a betting house. They reached a compromise where she got to keep five hundred gold for "recreational purposes" and Rick held onto the rest.
During those three days, Rick studied his card collection obsessively. Thirty-four cards was a respectable arsenal, and Ace helped him understand the more complex combinations. Some cards had synergies that weren't obvious at first glance. The Undying Fury card, for example, stacked with his Persistent Cockroach title to give him exponentially increasing damage the longer a fight went on.
"You're basically designed to win through sheer stubbornness," Ace explained one evening while Rick practiced card throws in his inn room. "Most fighters rely on skill and strategy. You rely on dying until the problem goes away."
"That's the saddest combat analysis I've ever heard," Rick said, but he couldn't argue with the results.
On the fourth day, Rick opened his quest log and stared at the main objective that had been sitting there since the beginning.
[MAIN QUEST: OBTAIN THE WISHING CARD]
[CURRENT OBJECTIVE: Collect Fragment 1 of 13]
[LOCATION: The Tomb of the Forgotten King]
[RECOMMENDED LEVEL: 10]
Below that was a new notification that made his stomach drop.
[QUEST UPDATE: New fragment location discovered!]
[FRAGMENT LOCATION: The Vault of Eternal Suffering]
[WARNING: This location contains Fragment 7 of 13]
[RECOMMENDED LEVEL: 50]
[ADDITIONAL WARNING: Seven Calamity Beasts detected in vicinity]
[CHANCE OF SURVIVAL: 0.003%]
"Why is there a survival percentage?" Rick asked the system. "And why is it so depressing?"
"That's actually higher than I expected," Ace said cheerfully. "It must be accounting for your immortality."
Rick found Fortuna at the guild tavern, already three drinks in despite it being barely noon. She was in the middle of trying to convince a group of adventurers to bet on which of them could hold their breath the longest underwater, which seemed like a terrible idea for everyone involved.
"Fortuna," Rick said, pulling up a chair. "We need to talk about the Wishing Card."
Her eyes lit up with interest that definitely wasn't just from the alcohol. "Oh! Are we finally going after it? I was wondering when you'd get serious about your main quest."
"I was planning to start with the easy fragments, but the system just updated and gave me a location for Fragment Seven. It's at something called the Vault of Eternal Suffering."
"Oh, I know that place!" Fortuna said brightly. "It's terrible! Absolutely horrible! We should definitely go!"
"Why are you excited about something called the Vault of Eternal Suffering?"
"Because it's not boring! Do you know how rare it is to find genuinely challenging content anymore?"
"Most dungeons are just copy-paste monster corridors. The Vault is special. It was designed by the God of Trials to test whether mortals deserve godlike power." Fortuna finished her drink and slammed the mug down.
"Which means it's going to be miserable and you're going to die a lot. Perfect!"
Rick buried his face in his hands. "I'm level twenty-three. The recommended level is fifty. This is suicide."
"You're immortal. It's just extended practice."
"I hate that logic so much."
Despite his complaints, Rick found himself agreeing to the journey. Partially because he wanted to make progress on his main quest, partially because staying in Millbrook meant watching Fortuna gamble away their dragon money, but mostly because somewhere deep down, he was curious.
He'd survived an Elder Wyrm. How much worse could a vault designed by a god actually be?
The answer, he would discover, was significantly worse. The journey to the Vault took a week.
It was located in the Deadlands, a region in the far north where the landscape looked like someone had given up on geography halfway through. The ground was cracked and gray, vegetation was nonexistent, and the sky had a permanent overcast quality that suggested the sun had filed a restraining order against this area.
"This place is depressing," Rick said as they walked across yet another field of dead earth. "Everything is gray. Even the rocks look sad."
"That's because this is where the First Calamity happened," Fortuna explained, somehow still cheerful despite the apocalyptic scenery. "About a thousand years ago, a group of heroes tried to kill all seven Calamity Beasts at once."
"They failed spectacularly, and the resulting magical explosion turned this entire region into a lifeless wasteland."
"And the Vault is here because?"
"Because the God of Trials decided that if you want godlike power, you should have to suffer in an appropriately miserable location. He's big on themes."
They encountered other travelers occasionally, most of whom took one look at the Deadlands and immediately turned around. The few who pressed on were high-level adventurers with expensive gear and serious expressions. Rick, in his mismatched equipment and F-rank badge, got a lot of skeptical looks.
One particularly armored warrior stopped them on the road. "Turn back, kid. The Vault isn't for beginners. People die there and don't come back."
"Good thing I specialize in coming back," Rick said making the warrior looked confused, shrugged, and continued on his way.
...
...
After six days of walking through progressively more depressing landscape, they finally saw it. The Vault of Eternal Suffering rose from the dead earth like a monument to bad decisions.
It was a massive structure made of black stone that seemed to absorb light rather than reflect it. The architecture was all sharp angles and impossible geometry that hurt to look at directly. At the entrance was a gate easily fifty feet tall, covered in runes that glowed with sickly green light.
Around the Vault, the air itself looked wrong. It shimmered and twisted in ways that made Rick's eyes water. He could feel power radiating from the structure, the kind of power that made his instincts scream at him to run in the opposite direction.
"That's it?" Rick asked weakly.
"That's it! Isn't it beautiful?" Fortuna was practically vibrating with excitement. "I haven't been here in centuries."
"Last time I visited, I lost a bet with the God of Trials and had to wear a chicken costume for a month. Good times."
"Why does every story you tell involve gambling or terrible consequences?"
"Because I make interesting life choices. Now come on, let's see what the entrance requirements are."
As they approached the gate, the runes flared brighter. Text appeared in the air, written in that same sickly green light.
[WELCOME TO THE VAULT OF ETERNAL SUFFERING]
[ENTRY REQUIREMENTS:]
[LEVEL 40 OR HIGHER]
[OR]
[POSSESS A RECOMMENDATION FROM A GOD]
[OR]
[BE STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY ANYWAY]
[CURRENT PARTY ANALYSIS:]
[FORTUNA LUCK: SSS-RANK, QUALIFIES]
[RICK ROLLAND: F-RANK, LEVEL 23, DOES NOT QUALIFY]
[HOWEVER...]
[RICK ROLLAND: TITLE "PERSISTENT COCKROACH" DETECTED]
[RICK ROLLAND: DEATH COUNT EXCEEDS MINIMUM THRESHOLD]
[RICK ROLLAND: QUALIFIES UNDER "STUPID ENOUGH" CLAUSE]
"Did the Vault just call me stupid?" Rick said incredulously.
"It's not wrong," Ace offered.
"Sybau!"
The gate began to open with a grinding sound that suggested it hadn't been used in a very long time. Beyond it was darkness, the kind of absolute darkness that seemed to have texture and weight.
From somewhere deep inside, Rick could hear sounds. Roaring. Screaming. The clash of metal. And underneath it all, a low humming that might have been machinery or might have been something breathing.
"Last chance to turn back," Fortuna said, though her grin suggested she knew he wouldn't.
Rick looked at the darkness. Then at his card collection. Then at Fortuna, who was already walking toward the entrance like she was going to a party instead of certain doom.
"I'm going to regret this," Rick muttered.
"Definitely!" Ace agreed.
"But I'm doing it anyway."
"That's the spirit, Master Rick! Die horribly for the sake of progress!"
Rick took a deep breath, channeled mana into his defensive cards just in case, and followed Fortuna into the Vault of Eternal Suffering. The gate slammed shut behind them with a finality that suggested it wouldn't be opening again anytime soon.
The darkness swallowed them whole, and somewhere in the depths, something laughed. Rick's death counter was about to get a lot higher.