Death number one came approximately three seconds after the dragon lunged. Rick threw his banana peel card in what he thought was a tactical maneuver.
The dragon stepped on it, slipped slightly, looked mildly annoyed, and then incinerated Rick with a casual burst of flame that turned him into ash before he could even scream properly. He respawned thirty seconds later, coughing and patting himself down to make sure all his parts were there.
"Okay, that was faster than I expected," Fortuna said, not even looking away from the dragon. She was dodging its attacks with lazy grace, like she was dancing rather than fighting for her life. "Try actually aiming next time!"
"Try actually helping!" Rick shouted back, throwing his acid splash card. It hit the dragon's scales and fizzled out like water on hot stone. "Oh come on! That card melted slimes!"
"This isn't a slime, genius! It's an Elder Wyrm! You need better cards!" Fortuna did a backflip over a sweeping tail attack, landed on the dragon's back, and punched it in the head.
The impact sent a shockwave through the cave. "Like that! See? Easy!"
"You're a goddess! Nothing is easy for me!" Rick dove behind a rock as another gout of flame turned his previous position into molten stone. "Also, maybe stop showing off and actually kill the damn thing!"
"Where's the fun in that? You need the experience!"
"I need to not die every thirty seconds!"
Death number two came when Rick tried to use his razor wind card and accidentally cut himself instead of the dragon. Death number three was from falling rocks when Fortuna's punch caused a cave-in. Death four was another fire breath.
Death five was when the dragon's tail whipped around and sent him flying into a wall so hard he left an imprint. By death number seven, Rick had stopped being scared and started getting angry.
"You useless gambling addict!" he screamed at Fortuna, who was currently riding the dragon like a mechanical bull. "You're supposed to be SSS-rank! Do something!"
"I am doing something! I'm teaching you valuable combat lessons!"
"The lesson is that you suck as a party member!"
"That's hurtful and also probably accurate!" Fortuna laughed as the dragon tried to shake her off. "But look, you're getting new cards! That's good, right?"
Rick checked his collection. She was right. Each death had given him something new. Death by dragon fire had given him a flame resistance card. Death by falling rocks gave him a defensive barrier card.
Death by tail whip gave him a knockback resistance card. He was collecting cards faster than ever, but he was also experiencing more traumatic deaths than any human should in a single afternoon.
"Fine!" Rick channeled mana into three cards at once, something he'd learned around death number four when desperation became innovation. "Let's try this!"
He threw the combination. Banana peel to make the dragon slip, acid splash to weaken its scales, and his new flame card to hit it with its own medicine. The cards activated in sequence, and for the first time, the dragon actually roared in pain.
"Now that's more like it!" Fortuna cheered. "Keep it up!"
"I hate you so much right now!"
Death eight through twelve were a blur of fire, claws, and Rick learning that dragon breath could come in multiple flavors including ice and lightning. But each death made him smarter, faster, more creative with his card combinations. By death thirteen, he was actually contributing to the fight instead of just being dragon food.
The turning point came when Rick died the fourteenth time and respawned with a card labeled "Undying Fury" that increased his damage output every time he died in the same fight. Combined with his growing collection of resistance cards, he was becoming genuinely dangerous.
"Okay you oversized gecko!" Rick shouted, throwing a five-card combo that he'd mentally named 'Stop Being Alive Please.'
"I've died fourteen times today and I'm running out of patience!"
The combo hit perfectly. The dragon staggered, its scales cracking, smoke pouring from multiple wounds. Fortuna saw her opening and punched the dragon directly between the eyes with enough force to make the entire mountain shake.
The Elder Wyrm collapsed with a thunderous crash that sent dust and debris everywhere. For a moment, everything was silent except for Rick's heavy breathing and the sound of his health regenerating.
"We did it!" Fortuna bounced excitedly. "That was amazing! Did you see that final combo? Chef's kiss!"
"I died fourteen times, bitch," Rick said flatly.
"But you got so many cards! Look at your level!"
Rick pulled up his status screen, and his eyes widened.
[NAME: Rick Rolland]
[LEVEL: 23]
[HP: 450/450]
[MP: 280/280]
[CARDS COLLECTED: 34]
[DEATHS: 24]
[TITLE: The Persistent Cockroach]
"I went from level five to level twenty-three," Rick said slowly. "And my title got worse."
"Cockroaches are survivors! It's a compliment because they can survive nukes!" Fortuna was already looting the dragon's corpse, pulling out scales and what appeared to be a massive gemstone from its chest. "Plus look at all this loot! We're rich!"
Rick sat down on a rock, his body exhausted despite being technically fully healed. "I'm never doing an S-rank quest again."
"Sure you are! This was fun!"
"Your definition of fun is psychotic."
...
...
The journey back to Millbrook took most of the next day. Rick spent it in sullen silence, occasionally muttering about useless goddesses and terrible party members. Fortuna spent it cheerfully humming and trying to convince Rick to bet on which cloud looked more like a dragon.
They were about an hour from town when they encountered another party on the road. Five adventurers, all wearing matching high-quality armor emblazoned with a silver falcon insignia. They moved with the kind of confidence that came from being very good at their jobs and knowing it.
The leader stepped forward, and Rick immediately disliked him. He had perfect silver hair, sharp features that looked like they'd been chiseled by a sculptor with commitment issues, and carried a sword that glowed with obvious magical power. His smile was the kind that looked friendly but felt like a threat.
"Well, well," the leader said in a voice that was annoyingly smooth. "If it isn't the famous Fortuna Luck. I heard you cleared an A-rank dungeon solo. Impressive for someone who just registered."
Fortuna's cheerful demeanor didn't change, but Rick noticed her eyes narrow slightly. "Kaine Ashford. Still pretending that hair color is natural?"
"Still pretending you're not compensating for something with that SSS-rank badge?"
"Compensating? Please. I earned this fair and square." Fortuna gestured casually at Rick. "Besides, I'm training an apprentice."
"Rick, meet Kaine Ashford, leader of the Silver Falcon party. They're S-rank, which means they think they're important."
Kaine's eyes swept over Rick with obvious dismissal. "This is your apprentice? He looks like he died a dozen times today."
"Fourteen, actually," Rick muttered.
"Pathetic." One of Kaine's party members, a woman with an elaborate bow, laughed. "What rank is he? F? Maybe G?"
"Hey, I'm F-rank and I just helped kill an Elder Wyrm," Rick said defensively. "What did you do today?"
"We cleared a B-rank dungeon in record time," Kaine said smoothly. "Without dying. Because we're professionals."
"Oh, he's a reincarnator by the way," Fortuna said casually, like she was commenting on the weather. "Died in his original world, got transported here with a cheat skill. The usual."
Rick's head snapped toward Kaine. "Wait, what?"
Kaine's perfect smile faltered for just a moment. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't. Let me guess, you got some kind of hero system?"
"Maybe a special skill that lets you copy abilities?"
"Or perhaps you can see everyone's stats and weaknesses?" Fortuna grinned. "It's always something like that with you reincarnators."
The rest of Kaine's party shifted uncomfortably, hands moving toward weapons. Kaine himself had lost his smile entirely.
"That's quite an imagination you have," he said coldly.
"Rick's a reincarnator too, you know. Except he got the worst system possible and dies constantly." Fortuna patted Rick's shoulder. "But he's way more entertaining than you. You've got that whole 'chosen one' thing going on. Boring."
Ace, who had been quiet this whole time, suddenly chimed in. "I hate to say it, Master Rick, but that guy looks way more like a main character than you do."
"The hair, the perfect features, the powerful party, the mysterious past. He's got the whole package."
"Thanks, Ace. Really needed that ego boost right now," Rick said sarcastically.
Kaine's expression hardened. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'd be careful making baseless accusations. The Silver Falcons don't take kindly to slander."
"And I don't take kindly to reincarnators who think they're special," Fortuna said cheerfully. "Rick here died to a banana peel. He's humble. You should try it sometime."
"You told them about the banana peel?" Rick hissed.
"It's your origin story! You should own it!"
Kaine looked between Rick and Fortuna with an expression of someone trying to figure out if they were being mocked or threatened. "You're both insane. Come on, team. Let's leave these lunatics to their delusions."
The Silver Falcon party walked past them, Kaine shooting one last look at Rick that promised this wasn't over. His party members whispered among themselves, occasionally glancing back.
Once they were out of earshot, Rick turned to Fortuna. "So that guy is actually a reincarnator?"
"Oh yeah, totally. Died in his world about a year ago, got transported here with a skill called 'Perfect Replication' that lets him copy any ability he sees once."
"He's been using it to climb the ranks fast." Fortuna shrugged. "There are actually quite a few reincarnators in this world. You're not special."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Didn't seem important. Most of them are boring anyway. All 'I must save the world' and 'I have a tragic backstory.' You're different. You're stupid."
"Again, thank you so much, you gambling bitch."
"It's a compliment! Stupid people are unpredictable. Unpredictable people are interesting." Fortuna started walking again. "Plus, that guy has main character syndrome. You have survivor syndrome. Much more fun."
"I definitely look more like a side character than Rick does," Ace added helpfully. "No offense, Master Rick, but you died to a banana peel and he probably died saving someone or something heroic."
"I hate both of you."
"You love us!" Fortuna sang out.
Rick sighed and followed his useless goddess party member back toward town, already dreading whatever chaos she'd drag him into next.