The video began.
BOOM!!
Once again, the kitchen inside Inazuma Castle's Tenshukaku erupted in a massive explosion.
"That's the ninety-ninth time," Xiangling sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead. "And you still haven't managed to cook the meat properly."
Raiden Ei—arms crossed under her chest, brows furrowed, expression stormy—snapped,
"I've wasted enough patience on this farce!"
Then she threw down her ladle.
"You just haven't taught me properly! Otherwise, how could I possibly fail to cook it?"
[Xiangling: Wait, wait, what's happening? I—I'm teaching the Raiden Shogun how to cook?! (panicked.jpg)]
[Amber: The Electro Archon can't cook? No way!]
[Arataki Itto: Hah! Weak! Totally weak! What a lame Archon!]
[Yae Miko: I can confirm—Raiden truly can't cook. She can't even fry an egg.]
[Raiden Ei: Miko, what did you just say?! (Thunder rumbles)]
[Kaeya: Oh my, was that an indirect confession?]
[Xingqiu: I never imagined the mighty Shogun would struggle with… cooking.]
[Eula: Cooking is a mandatory noble skill! The Archon still has much to learn.]
[Dori: Hehehe, that's a cute weakness~]
[Hu Tao: Even gods have their adorable sides!]
[Kujou Sara: Stop mocking the Shogun! (furious.jpg)]
The video continued.
Xiangling flicked her hand helplessly, clearly exasperated.
"I've been very thorough with my instructions!"
Raiden Ei tilted her head upward, her charming features laced with disdain.
"Oh really? Then why do I remember no such thing?"
"Do you even know how to chop vegetables?!" Xiangling demanded, hands on her hips.
"What? You never taught me that!" Raiden countered, affronted.
Xiangling's eyes went wide.
"You need someone to teach you that? Maybe we should call over the Lisa next door!"
[Arataki Itto: Pfft—she has to be taught how to chop vegetables?! I'm dying! Hahaha!]
[Yanfei: Wait, who's the 'Lisa next door'?]
[Eula: Doesn't matter! I can't believe she seriously can't chop vegetables.]
[Yae Miko: I promise you—she's dead serious. (covers mouth, giggling)]
[Raiden Ei: MIKO!!!!!!]
[Gorou: Careful, she might not know how to chop food, but she's very good at chopping people. Orobaxi can testify!]
[Kazuha: Ah yes… the sudden, inevitable slash.]
[Paimon: Wow, this Xiangling girl is so brave! She's scolding the Shogun!]
[Xiangling: I'm not! I didn't! Don't say that! (almost crying.jpg)]
"You dare mock me?!" Raiden's voice was cold as lightning.
"It's not mockery—it's the truth!" Xiangling shot back, pointing a finger right at her.
"Nonsense!"
"Seriously, even a Slime cooks better than you!" Xiangling muttered, turning away in frustration.
"Ha! Please. Even Hilichurls are spicier than you!" Raiden retorted, arms folding as she turned her back too.
[Paimon: Pfft—'Even Slimes cook better than you!' Xiangling's got sharp tongue!]
[Lumine: But the Shogun fired right back—'Even Hilichurls are spicier than you!' Hahaha!]
[Kaeya: True enough. Xiangling may wear little, but she's really not that… spicy.]
[Xingqiu: She feels more like the sweet little sister next door.]
[Xiangling: Stop it! You're embarrassing me to death! Uuuu…]
"I've had enough! I'm going back to Liyue right now! I can't spend another second in Inazuma!"
Xiangling folded her arms, glaring sidelong at Raiden.
"Wasted such a gorgeous 'wife face' for nothing, damn it!"
Raiden Ei snapped up her hand and flipped her off, shouting,
"BAKA!! 凸(▼皿▼#)"
The video ended.
The VIP livestream chat instantly exploded with laughter.
[Arataki Itto: Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful! Hahaha!]
[Yanfei: Ahem. I'd say both sides exchanged very honest opinions.]
[Yae Miko: 'Wife face'—HAHAHA, I can't—hahaha! (slamming desk)]
[Raiden Ei: YOU! I'm heading to the Grand Narukami Shrine right now! (⚡怒)]
[Rosaria: Oh? Someone's getting salty?]
[Kaeya: Of course she is! I'd be mad too!]
[Keqing: Wife face and can't cook? Hahaha—don't you dare show up in Inazuma again! 😂 @The Mishearing Maniac]
[Venti: Once again, your trolling artistry never disappoints. @The Mishearing Maniac]
Arataki Gang Hideout.
Covered in allergy rashes, Arataki Itto slapped his thigh, laughing so hard tears ran down his face.
"BAHAHA! The Shogun can't cook—'wife face'—HAHAHAHA!"
After losing his Vision, he'd been seething nonstop, feeling incomplete.
But now? This video by The Mishearing Maniac made all that pain worth it.
The Shogun—humiliated before all of Teyvat!
And that uptight Kujou Sara, who worshiped her? She'd probably blow a fuse!
Itto wheezed with laughter, gasping for breath.
"From now on, I'm a diehard fan! Long live The Mishearing Maniac!"
Mondstadt, a small rented flat.
Bang bang bang bang!
Mona slammed her fists on her desk, laughing uncontrollably, tears in her eyes.
"HAHAHA! 'Even Hilichurls are spicier than Xiangling!' And the Shogun can't cook—HAHAHA!"
This chaotic parody was sheer genius.
Moments ago, she'd been ready to curse The Mishearing Maniac to the Abyss.
Now? She was a convert.
"No! This stream must continue! Create more—create harder! Make sure all of Teyvat suffers with me!"
And so, laughter continued to echo across the world.
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