It didn't happen all at once.
You didn't suddenly stop talking to me.
You were still there, still sending messages, still calling sometimes, but the space between your replies started to stretch.
At first, I told myself it was nothing.
That maybe you were just tired, busy, distracted.
But then it became a pattern i couldn't unsee.
The messages came slower, the replies shorter, and the laughter that used to fill our conversations was replaced by silence i didn't know how to read.
You started playing more at night.
And i watched myself slowly become part of the background noise of your routine, something you'd check on in between games,
something that could wait.
Sometimes, I'd stare at the screen,
watching the minutes turn to half an hour,
waiting for your name to appear again.
And when it finally did,
I'd smile like i hadn't just been waiting.
You still called me after playing,
and that became enough for me.
It shouldn't have been, but it was.
Because i kept telling myself,
"Maybe this is just how he shows up now."
And i wanted to be understanding, i really did.
Who was i to complain?
We weren't even anything.
So i stayed quiet.
I kept replying with the same energy,
pretending i didn't notice the difference.
But my chest felt heavier every night.
It's strange how you can miss someone
while still talking to them every day.
How you can feel the distance
even when the conversation never really ends.
You were still there, but not really.
And i didn't know how to bring it up without sounding needy, without scaring you away.
So i held it in.
I told myself that as long as you still called,
as long as you still said "good night",
then maybe we were okay.
Maybe i was just overthinking again.
But deep down,
my anxious heart was spinning in circles,
trying to understand what changed.
You used to message first.
You used to ask how my day went.
Now it felt like i was the only one trying to keep the conversation alive.
I hated how much it affected me,
how every minute of silence felt like rejection,
how your unread message could ruin my mood for hours.
And still, I stayed.
Because even when everything felt uncertain,
I'd rather have pieces of you than nothing at all.