Chapter 6 — The Leaf Village's First Meme
Minato Namikaze was a genius. He was also, as Aaron quickly realized, completely blind when it came to his younger brother. His notebook, now filled with incomprehensible scribbles, treated Aaron less like a baby and more like a mysterious, potentially volatile S-Rank Scroll.
The first consequence of the "Flash Crawl" incident was an influx of unsolicited visitors.
The Observation Team
One sunny afternoon, Aaron found himself strapped into his stroller, parked not in the backyard, but in a secure observation room at the Konoha Academy.
Watching him from behind a one-way glass partition were two of the village's most respected (and serious) shinobi: Fugaku Uchiha and Shikaku Nara.
Fugaku, the stern head of the Uchiha clan, crossed his arms. "Minato, with all due respect, your infant brother is drooling on the glass."
Minato adjusted his Hokage-to-be robes, beaming with pride. "Observe the drool, Fugaku. It is minimal. Aaron is maintaining an advanced level of Water Control. And watch this."
Minato placed a small, colorful block just out of Aaron's reach.
Aaron, bored and mildly annoyed by the lights, immediately initiated the technique he'd been practicing all morning: the intentional, wobbling roll toward the block.
He made a full half-rotation—a spectacular effort for a four-month-old.
Behind the glass, Shikaku Nara, the master strategist, squinted. "He's utilizing a specialized body-roll momentum technique. Note the hip rotation; it minimizes chakra expenditure while maximizing kinetic transfer. We could adapt this for stealth infiltration."
Fugaku nodded slowly. "And the intent is clear. That object is now marked for acquisition. A profound display of predatory instinct."
Aaron, realizing his audience, let out a loud, attention-seeking "Goo-gaa!"
"There it is!" Minato whispered excitedly. "The verbal prompt! The 'Goo-Gaa' Seal! It's a non-verbal activation for his movement speed! It's revolutionary, Shikaku!"
Shikaku sighed, already looking exhausted. "The amount of paperwork this is going to generate..."
The New Jutsu Classification
The "Goo-Gaa Seal" was promptly logged in the Academy's official documentation. It was classified as a D-Rank Support Technique—effective only at short range, but extremely potent at distracting senior personnel.
The "Flash Crawl" was now being taught in the Academy as an advanced taijutsu movement theory, based solely on Minato's highly detailed, utterly incorrect diagrams of Aaron's wobbly lunge.
The Comedic Failure reached its peak when Aaron received his first official gift from the village: a tiny, personalized Flak Jacket, designed for accelerated movement training. It was three sizes too big and smelled vaguely of mothballs.
I am a literal baby with a flak jacket, Aaron thought, his Meta-Awareness suffering a catastrophic memory leak. This is not canon. This is not fanfic. This is a low-budget comedy OVA.
The Return of the Rival
Kakashi, who was reluctantly forced to join the observation team, remained unconvinced. He cornered Aaron in the nursery, holding the Icha Icha book like a shield.
"I know the truth," Kakashi muttered, his one visible eye narrowed in suspicion. "You're a normal baby who found a way to annoy adults. That 'Goo-Gaa' is meaningless."
Aaron knew he had to confirm Kakashi's suspicion, otherwise the village would start adapting his "techniques" and accidentally creating a generation of ninjas who could only move by rolling.
He focused on the book. The book was the key to Kakashi's distraction.
Aaron reached out and grabbed the edge of the orange cover, then let out his most reliable sound of pure internet rage: "REEEEEEE!"
Kakashi, expecting a high-level Genjutsu, was momentarily distracted by the absurdity of the noise.
"It sounds like a mating call," Kakashi stated, pulling the book away. "But the intent is clear: Repulsion."
Minato burst in, holding a pen. "Excellent! The REEEEEE-Jutsu! See, Kakashi? It's a defensive sound jutsu! It repels anything that comes near it!"
Minato looked down at Aaron, beaming. "You don't like that book, do you, little brother? You can read my notes instead!"
Minato handed Aaron a crumpled piece of paper covered in diagrams.
Aaron immediately used it to wipe the drool off his chin.
"He's destroying the notes!" Kushina cried, rushing over to rescue the diagrams. "A powerful seal-breaking technique! He rejects the old ways!"
Aaron, chewing the paper, decided that the only way to save the Leaf Village from its own genius was to lean into the chaos. If they wanted a prodigy, he would give them the most absurd prodigy they'd ever seen. He just had to make sure his ridiculous actions had positive, if accidental, consequences.
He stared at Kakashi and let out a small, satisfied "Mrow."
Kakashi looked at the sound, then at the destruction of Minato's notes, and the look of suspicion in his eye turned into grudging respect.
The baby is a menace, Kakashi concluded. But he is effective.
End of Chapter 6
Next: Chapter 7 — The Chunin Exam's Secret Weapon