There's that moment where you're stuck between want and need. The blurred line between lust and love. A momentary escape of logic and reason as the only explanation left is 'him.'
Constant replays and endless whispers of your name every second.
With each drawn breath my heart pleads and echoes,'be mine,' 'be mine,' 'be mine.'
I want you, and yet sometimes it feels as though I'm aiming for the sun while stuck in the platonic crust. If that's what it's even called.
The closer I get, the more I burn.
Well it doesn't matter...because atleast I'll turn into ash and fade with the memory of how your warmth felt against my skin. The way it gnaws at my flesh leaving goosebumps to emerge all over, while my heart races in anticipation of what is yet to become of us.
The way my toes curl and my breathing becomes uneven at the mere thought of you.
Chest heaving up and down, slowly, silently calling out to you.
Unable to bear my own weight when all I think about is you.
Welcome to my story. My beloved distant yet close. Painful yet unscathed. A longing that turns pain into pleasure and patience into addiction. Live my fantasies through my words as they come to life in your mind...
Our journey, my world...
Hands tremble when your presence is all there is to it. I convince myself that I've moved on and yet my heart tries to escape my body everytime I stumble upon you. Why do you treat me as such?
Act like you want nothing to do with me at all and yet sometimes it seems as though all you want is the invisible backing when your friends are present to atleast say a few words to me?
Why act like you don't care when it feels like you actually do.
This headache is mental. I'm not a female Einstein and Newton combined in order to know how you feel.
I'm not a mind reader who knows where your thoughts lie.
Are you being honest with the both of us?
Is there something holding you back?
Call me delusional and I'll happily let go of this attraction turned resentment.
I do not hate. But you push me to. Now even those I believe innocent annoy the living daylight out of me simply because you smile and act nice to them.
Do you laugh and joke with them like we used to?
Idiot I am for even trying.
Let. Me. Go.
I have someone whom I wish to invest everything in. To him I whisper 'let me in'
And yet a part of me is haunted by the mere shadow you bring.
You act like you don't care and don't wish to acknowledge my presence, however when others show interest...you wear the expression like that I used to whenever you entertained other girls.
Jealousy.
Annoyance.
Potential fear of losing what 'could' have 'been'.
That look as if you want to laugh or atleast smile but it feels so fake your own body betrays you. Even sarcasm feels non-existent because the heart, mind, and body rebel to the point that eye contact is avoided but words keep spewing. The last resort is your mind screaming for that conversation to be over because it hurts to even think about losing you to another.
That kind of expression is the one you showed.
You felt it too didn't you?
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Why act like you care.
Why accept my existence and throw jokes with me in your friends' presence but when we manage to be alone you either ignore my presence or you're acting in a way that convinces me you're jealous.
Call me delusional.
Call me crazy.
Call me blind or self-righteous.
Call me complacent.
Anything to atleast explain your inconsistances.
I let you go.
You somehow crawl back.
I move on.
You're stuck at the back of my mind like a vengeful spirit unable to let go of its nemesis.
Two chapters.
One story.
One author-ress
*snicker*
Be patient with me dear readers.
This villainess author will brew a story worth the read.
Three hearts.
Two men.
One me.