sometimes in life you will see a person on social media thinking that she's perfect and you wanna be like her not knowing that she might be going through a lot and that this perfect life you crave for is a life that will just bring tears in your life. so I've decided that you know what let me just try to live a different life with different people so that I can discover my true self. I mean I won't lie I do love BRANDON but if us getting together brings tears and hate between both families then I have no other choice but to let him go. maybe he is meant to be with someone else someone who does not have a family that fights like animals just because he is not famous nor is he from a rich family. they feel that he might me wanting me for money well! well! I guess being SUSAN feels like a curse but kind of enjoyable especially when they don't know about your sexual life. I mean if I cannot marry at least I can enjoy my life with some sex cause money cannot buy that especially when you are a girl unless you have a sex toy to help you with your desires. but even sex cannot buy love and love is very important in any type of relationship. which is something I've got in my relationship with BRANDON but as usual there's something missing in my life if it's love or family. as a lady that loves many things and like to try new things I might be a virgin but obviously I have sexual desires and I talk about sex in a way that I even imagine doing all the hot positions. but here's the thing my boyfriend is scared of my family cause they always threaten him that he should never dare touch my body you know what I mean they said they are watching him. we would walk together somewhere quiet and we would hug and kiss as soon as he hears people's voices getting closer he just stops kissing me. these days it feels like I'm dating my parents instead of dating him. even his parents have a problem with us dating once we were shopping together and his mother pushed me and said " stay away from my son you rich brat" he acted like he did not see what his mother did. he could not even confront her about it. it feels like our relationship is dying or should I say it is dead. maybe I should just meet with him and end this once cause it is clear that he cannot give me the affection I clearly desire for.
" hello It's SUSAN can we meet at joe's café there's something important we have to discuss"
"sure even I feel like we need to talk cause things are really messed up"
" let's meet at 12pm by then we both will be on break from work"
"okay"
well I have a feeling that he wants to do the same thing I wanna do at least we'll both be free from each other and anyways I've been craving to have a lovely life than the one I show to my viewers. everything is just an act like when did I actually feel happy even in my relationship we act on socials and be like wow we are happy but now I need something real without feeling like I'm dating the viewers nor my family cause wow they are very protective in a way that dating a low class would make them kill me or even put me to jail. well welcome to my shitty life where I am not in control of it instead people are. It's best if I apply for a job in LA and live there cause here I am never free to do whatever I want. anyways since I am done with the applying let me just go and dump my boyfriend who won't be my boyfriend within a few hours.
( driving)
( listening to heartless by the weekend)
at least this song makes me feel stronger for what's coming. anyways now that I've arrived earlier let me just practice the words
" BRANDON it's not you nor me it's the situation in hand and we've been fighting it and losing and you do not fight I am the one that always fights in order for our parents to get along these day it feels like I am forcing things and you are no longer interested so hear me say these words even though it's hard I will just say them you and I are over. our relationship feels dead and I feel like I'm also dying in it cause it pains me to be with someone who just does not care nor become affectionate like those old days where our love felt real. these days I don't know what's real and what's not but all I know is that I still love you but I wanna set you free and also become free to find new love and happiness. goodbye BRANDON"
( crying)
"SUSAN how could you do this to me. I called you here so that we could fix things not this to happen please my honey please don't remove the sweetness you've placed in my heart"
" oh I didn't see you there but since now you've heard what's in my heart I should just leave like I said we are over don't try to stop me from leaving"
(walking)
The next day surprisingly I received a phone call from a company that I've been dreaming to work with and couldn't believe it that it was contacting me but I guess it was. the company is from LA a place where I've been planning to move at so that I can be free and not be guarded by parents like a new born baby, I just really need a tiny or big paradise to be far away from them. back to the call so they wanted to give me a job for six months and if I would work perfectly well then they might make it permanent and since I wanna live in LA I took the job. this felt like the universe knew that I wanted to go far away from this place so I took the opportunity to dance, sing and eat at my favourite restaurant for the last time in New York . At 9pm I booked another flight just incase I become late since I have that as bad habit I thought that perhaps that's a good idea for starters and I'm very excited to be on a new place and meet new people. I thought of telling my parents but I felt like perhaps they might try to stop me or insist on coming with and I'm too old for being baby sited and they like worrying soo much of me and it can be too much to handle. so it's best if I let them be and just tell them when I've arrived in LA by then they won't have any other choice but to leave me enjoy my life without them busy taking my freedom away and who knows maybe this time around I might date someone who can love me wait no I almost forgot that I'm actually taking a break and focusing more on myself than guys cause they bring nothing but shitty disrespectful babies so I might just stay away if I wanna achieve what I'm gonna be going there for as a designer. the following day which was thee day for me to say good bye to New York and hello Los Angeles I woke up super early in the morning it was like 4am and like I bathed quickly then I was busy with my YouTube content getting it ready for my viewers to view it. my subscribers were on 1 million and I had to say thank you to them as usual being an influencer means you've got to say thanks to impress the fans it's as simple as that. I wanted to become live for 30 minutes but it actually became an hour like wow I can see that I actually live my job and no one can take that love away from me can they ? no I don't think so. So on 5am I started to finish of packing then I ate some lovely health breakfast obviously the body has to be in shape no matter what and the healthy eating will just make me to glow and I might get more fans and crushes. and mostly I'm interested in fans cause they have the purest love then can sometimes be obsessed and this can lead to danger. this is why I never share my actual details to my subscribers nor my location because even I wanna feel safe. But anyways since I don't share personal details I'm safe so now I have to reach the airport and get to reach my favourite country cause for me it's better than New York cause wow no clingy parents are there. It's 7am and I am early for my flight and it seems like there are only a few people here on the plane but I'll just sit down and listen to music, well even though it's a bit boring this will just keep on making feel a bit good and even more excited , I just cannot believe that I'm actually on an airplane that will soon gonna be in LA and I will enjoy myself to the fullest. yes I will miss my friends and family but I will just make new friends there and hopefully they will be supportive and not fake like some shitty people that just want something to gossip about since they just don not have a topic or something fun to distract them from their boredom. Anyways I do not know what will happen but no matter what happens I will have to face it cause running away never helps . but me running away from my parents actually helps in many different ways . like getting freedom that's the best part about it and doing what my body tells me like what I should eat, and not eat I'm just tired of being controlled. oh the flight is about to take of so let me just listen to more my music and drink this lovely cocktail. I guess even on a plane there's enjoyment that prepares me for more enjoyment that I'm gonna have instead of having a blank normal life. yes life should be normal but at least it should be spiced up a little with some hot sauce. It's the best combination of an Italian salad and some combo which literally right now at this point of moment is unknown. cause as far as I remember well my life has been messed up but now I can do things differently even when it comes to my new job I must just try my best to do what I can in order to reach where I wanna reach. I big dreams that I wanna fulfil in New York and to be honest I have a feeling that things will work out for me and usually I just have fears that nah they'll just end terribly but this time I have a feeling that I shall do things differently and I will become successful without my parent's help cause they've done enough to help me feel like I'm not free at all. But now I feel like I have the potential and the power to do anything I want freely without bodyguards I swear rich parents can be over protective over nothing or stupid things which I can manage and survive. so now I'm gonna do me and no one will stop me. well I guess ending things with Brandon wasn't such a bad idea at all cause now I can become more independent and show myself self love and what's more important is that I can actually focus without destructions on my career well me and Brandon would always stress about our families now I'm a stress free independent bitch. and as they say life goes on and as it goes on you've got to move on and being single can be a gift cause mother fucker I would be loving myself and all focus on myself nothing more this dating shit I just don't feel it anymore. it's like you're in a yoke but I feel free so Susy will be enjoying herself in this road trip. a trip of life and enjoyment guess what's left to be said is good luck and be bitchin and show them the real you love.
Okay I've just realised that I was asleep so wake up sleepy head it's time to live the life you've dreamt of , it's time to get up and get going. cause a new beginning , a new life and a new light is about to shine upon you. cause you are about to kick ass when it comes to your life and go reach greater lengths and heights. people have been making you feel weak and you've gone through a lot of ups and downs but don't let that make you look weak in front of your enemies for you my love are stronger than them and can glow and shine like the loving golden bright sun. so be like that but in order for that to happen you have to be strong cause this could be a fight Susy. so Susy get up girl and show them who you really are. and how much of a rock you can be.