Chapter 9 — Belly Full of Turkey (Family, Firearms & Frozen Lakes)
Ted Mosby believed Thanksgiving was about gratitude.
Marshall Eriksen believed Thanksgiving was about food — mountains of food.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed Thanksgiving was a field exercise in survival, because in the Scherbatsky family, gratitude was measured in bullets and bravado.
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Arrival in Canada
Snow clung to the windows as the car rolled north. Robin groaned into her scarf.
"Warning, Mosby. My family is… a lot."
Ted smiled nervously. "How bad can it be?"
Ivar smirked in the passenger seat. "Bad enough that you'll wish you were vegan."
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The Scherbatsky Home
They walked into a cabin that looked like it had wrestled a moose and won. Antlers on the wall. A rifle rack by the door. Turkey roasting in a wood-burning stove that smelled faintly of gun oil.
Robin Sr. emerged, a mountain of a man in plaid. "Robin!" he barked, crushing her in a bear hug. Then he spotted Ivar. "Son!"
They clasped hands hard enough to make Ted wince.
"And who's this?" Robin Sr. asked, eyeing Ted like a deer caught in the crosshairs.
"This is Ted," Robin said quickly. "He's… a friend."
"Friend," Robin Sr. repeated, grinning like a wolf. "So, you like guns?"
Ted squeaked. "I… like safety?"
The whole family laughed.
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Thanksgiving Chaos
Dinner was less about turkey and more about stories:
Robin Sr. bragging about hunting elk in minus-forty weather.
Katie, the youngest Scherbatsky, teasing Robin about her "New York boyfriend."
Ivar, calmly carving the turkey with a hunting knife he pulled from his belt.
Robin hissed at him. "You're making us look insane."
"We are insane," Ivar said. "Best to own it."
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Ted's Trial by Fire
After dinner, Robin Sr. dragged Ted outside for "tradition."
"What tradition?" Ted asked nervously.
Robin Sr. handed him a shotgun. "Pumpkin skeet shooting."
Ted nearly fainted. Robin shouted, "Dad!"
But Ivar stepped in smoothly, taking the shotgun, blowing a pumpkin to smithereens, and handing the gun back with a calm: "Safety first."
Robin Sr. clapped him on the shoulder. "That's my boy!"
Ted whimpered.
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Fireside Foreshadow
Later, by the crackling fire, Robin slouched with a drink, muttering. "Every year I remember why I left."
"Family's a mess everywhere," Ivar said softly. "At least ours makes good turkey."
Robin gave him a look. "You're too comfortable here. You thrive in the chaos."
"That's because chaos is honest," Ivar said. Then, leaning closer, "And one day, you'll see you don't need to fight it. You can own it. Work for me, Robin. When you're ready."
She rolled her eyes, but her mouth twitched into a smile. "You never stop, do you?"
"Nope," Ivar said. "Canadian Batman doesn't stop."
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Chapter Closing Beat
By the end of the night, Ted stumbled to the car in a daze, reeking of gunpowder and cranberry sauce.
Marshall was stuffed to the gills. Lily stole a handful of maple candy for the road.
Robin buried her face in her scarf, muttering about moving to Mars.
And Ivar? He strolled out calm as ever, hands in pockets, whistling a Canadian folk tune.
Because for Ivar Scherbatsky, Thanksgiving wasn't about gratitude or family drama. It was about surviving the wilderness — and in his family, the wilderness was inside the house.