Chapter 8 — The Duel (Steel, Brothers & Boundaries)
Ted Mosby believed swords were props.
Marshall Eriksen believed swords were toys.
And Ivar Scherbatsky? He believed swords were survival — and nobody in that apartment was ready for the difference.
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Apartment Chaos
Ted paced the apartment, waving a Metro brochure. "It's official. Robin's moving in. She's tired of the commute, tired of her tiny place, and honestly, this is the natural next step."
Marshall froze mid-bite of cereal. "What?"
"Robin's moving in," Ted repeated, beaming.
"This is our apartment, Ted!" Marshall said, voice rising. "Me, you, Lily — the trifecta! Robin doesn't just get to waltz in and—"
"Hey, relax," Ted said. "We'll work it out."
From the couch, Ivar sipped coffee. "You two sound like Canadian geese fighting over a pond."
Robin rolled her eyes. "Don't drag Canada into this."
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The Challenge
Marshall stood tall. "Fine. If you want Robin to move in, we settle it the old-fashioned way."
He opened the cabinet. Two swords glimmered.
Ted blinked. "Wait… why do we have swords?"
"Wedding present," Lily said proudly. "From my cousin, the renaissance fair guy."
Marshall tossed Ted a blade. "Let's duel."
Ted gulped. "Duel… as in sword fight?"
"Yes," Marshall said. "Winner decides the living arrangement."
Robin laughed into her drink. "This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen."
"That's because you haven't seen them fight yet," Ivar said, standing.
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The Sword Fight
Steel clanged against steel. Ted flailed like a drunk pirate. Marshall swung wide, nearly decapitating a lamp.
Lily shrieked. Robin tried to film it on her phone.
And Ivar? He sighed, stood, and in one fluid motion drew the slim blade he'd worn at the Halloween party.
"Stop embarrassing yourselves."
Both froze mid-swing.
"Ivar," Robin warned.
But he was already moving — blade flashing, slicing Ted's tie clean off, then disarming Marshall with a twist so smooth it looked rehearsed.
The sword clattered to the floor. Marshall blinked. "What the hell was that?"
"Canadian wilderness education," Ivar said. "Lesson one: don't swing what you can't control. Lesson two: don't fight for a home. Build one."
Ted muttered, "That sounded like a fortune cookie if fortune cookies carried swords."
"Exactly," Ivar said.
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Aftermath
The fight ended in laughter, bruised egos, and one shattered lamp.
Marshall and Ted agreed to revisit the apartment debate later. Robin teased them both mercilessly, Lily demanded hazard pay, and Barney—arriving late—was furious he missed the duel.
"You dueled without me?" Barney cried. "Do you know how rare it is for sword fights to spontaneously happen in Manhattan?"
"You'd have lost," Ivar said flatly.
Barney froze. "Challenge accepted."
Robin groaned. "Please don't encourage him."
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Chapter Closing Beat
That night, as Ted patched a cut on his hand, Ivar leaned against the window, watching the city.
"You know, Ted," Ivar said softly, "you don't need to fight Marshall to make space for Robin. If she belongs, she'll stay. If she doesn't, no duel will change it."
Ted looked down at his bandaged hand, then at Robin's reflection in the glass.
Maybe his brother-in-law with the sword was right.
Maybe the real duel wasn't for the apartment.
It was for Robin's heart.