"Well, guess I'm dead, " a glowing ball of light said.
"But damn, what an uncool way to die. It would have been better if truck kun did it, but I just had to slip when I finally decided to clean my damn room, fuck my motivation and those stairs, but where even am I?" it said as it looked around, the whole place was all white.
'Is this heaven. Nah, with all things saved up in my laptop and the unholy amount of dark jokes I watched online, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if the devil held a welcoming party for me.'
Suddenly, everything shifted; the ball passed planets, stars, and galaxies until it was right in front of an old man. Before he could say anything, the whole place twisted, 'damn, what's happening?' he felt excruciating pain like his very being was being reshaped. All he could think was 'and I thought getting kicked by a horse in my balls was the worst pain I could experience, fuck this damn world' before everything went blank.
old man's pov
"This is your last chance. I hope you can save them and don't lose yourself like last time. That bastard left me to do all the cleanup. Well, that horse I sent did a number on him." He mumbled to himself, a little amused. He gazed far off into the distance and murmured to himself, "Good luck, Maxwell."
max pov
'Okay, so I got reincarnated, that much is obvious, but where am I, and why the hell am I in this situation?' he thought as he looked around.
He was in a cell. The whole place smelled like expired milk mixed with dog poop, and as for how he knew that, let's just say it was because of an incident involving a crazy homeless guy and 10 dollars.
Yeah, never mess with those guys; you never know what they might throw at you.
'But damn, what was that old man thinking, sending me crashing down into a freaking palace naked? Well, any route involving being lowkey scraped.'
While he was lost in thought, a rat came up to his feet, sniffed him, and took a bite.
"Eeeh," Max looked down at the rat, then at his bare feet," mother fuc-" before he could finish, the rat suddenly converged and then collapsed.
Then a blue screen flickered into existence right in front of him
[system boot 100%]
[ Guidance system online]
[Host recognized, initiating link]
[link created]
[welcome host ]
'Fuck yes, a system I take back all the curses I sent you, old man.'
"With this, I shall become a god. he he he Ha Ha Ha."
A cold breeze from the window passed over his naked body, making him shiver and sneeze.
"Damn those bastards, they could have at least given me some clothes."
As he sat down on the cold floor, he calmed down a bit and realised 'that was cringe as hell, good thing nobody saw me.'
"System, what are your functions?"
[The guidance system is here to guide you, so please get out of your delusions. The only thing you can do right now is maybe get some clothes and fix that 3rd-grade syndrome. I also come with the basic system package: a status window and a newbie gift, the only gift you'll receive.]
'Right, a system with an attitude, just what I needed.'
[Well, I'm the only thing you have, considering you literally have nothing, but if you really don't want me, you can just unbind me, your choice]
"Okay, let's calm down. I was just joking," he said as the corners of his mouth twitched.
[Well, at least you have a brain ]
'What is this, all those novels I read about guys who get systems after reincarnating had a friendly system, or maybe it's a tsundere type?'
[I'm sorry to disappoint, but I was designed to have a male persona, and frankly, I don't swing that way ]
'fuck off, I'm straight.'
[Whatever lets you sleep at night]
'tsk. Just show me my status.'
[Name: Maxwell Blackwood ]
[Race: Human]
[STR:5](weak as hell stop being delusional and train)
[AGI:6](My grandma can do better.stop skipping leg day )
[INT:10](atleast you have something up there)
[DEF:4](even a child can knock you out . Get hit a bunch of times, and maybe you stand a chance against a teenager)
[ABILITIES: True Immortality(tier 1), Adaptability(tier 1),Limitless]
[True Immortality(tier 1): you cannot die or age, you will regenerate from anything, albeit very slowly, depending on the level of injury, but you need a part of your body intact ]
[Adaptability(tier 1): You adapt to any condition, but very slowly ]
[Limitless: You have no limit in growth, and can assign two skills, the limitless status, which will evolve the skills assigned to their max level]
'Okay, that old man sure went all out.'
"System, what's up with those comments after my stats?"He said as the corners of his mouth twitched.
[Host, don't forget I'm a guidance system, so I was offering you some advice]
'Fuck you and your advice.'
[As I said before, I don't swing that way. And before you continue embarrassing yourself, you should probably check the novice gift.]
Max was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to retort, but then shut it again.
"System open the gift," he said with a sigh
[Novice Gift: Dimensional Travel, Last Wish, inventory]
[Dimensional Travel: You are not bound to one world. With the help of a guide, you can travel between planes but at a cost.]
[Last Wish: You have one wish per world, but beware that once the wish is granted, the anchor to that world is lost. The wishes cannot be stacked.]
[Inventory: a spatial dimension where you can store non-living things. Its size increases with your power.]
'I honestly didn't expect much, but damn it seems I'm becoming op.'
"system, assign the limitless status to True Immortality and Adaptability."
[Assigning limitless status to True Immortality and Adaptability]
[limitless status assigned]
[Evolving Skills]
[Evolution complete ]
[True Immortality(tier 1)>True Immortality(tier 2): You do not age. The shadow of death finds you elusive. You only need a piece of your body to regenerate and can heal from minor soul damage. Though severe injuries still take a while to heal. ]
[Adaptability(tier 1)>Adaptability(tier 2): You adapt to everything a little bit faster, but still very slowly]
'Okay, to be honest, I expected something more grand, like a name change, but I like what I see, ' he said as he rubbed his hands, a grin appearing on his face.
'System, when it says very slowly, how long are we talking?'
[Well, if your arm is cut off, it will take about 2hours to heal. If your limbs are all cut off or half your body is torn, about 5hours.If most of your body is destroyed, say you remain with a head or an arm, about 12 hours. If you only have a finger, that should take a whole day. As for adaptability, you'll figure it out.]
'Say, what happens to the cut-off part after healing?'
[Once a part of you is restored, the life force connecting the cut-off part is severed and loses all life in it. So no, you can't just cut off a finger and leave it at home.]
'I didn't say anything about cutting off my fingers. You third-rate system.'
[I've seen your memories, I know what kind of man you are]
'Damn it, you bastard, I'm sure you're a manufacturing mistake.'
[ -_- . I knew you were bad at arguments, but damn, your comebacks are as bad as your love life.]
Max felt an invisible arrow pierce his heart. If this were a wuxia novel, he would have probably coughed up blood.
Before he could reply, he heard muttering followed by laughter outside the cell.
As the voices got closer, he could hear their footsteps and see their shadows.
'Hope this ain't like that anime about a certain healer, 'he thought as a shiver ran through his spine.
As he was lost in thought, two guards stopped in front of his cell. They were both clad in full armor except for their head.
When he looked at them, he felt surprisingly calm. I mean, when you know you're immortal and all, why would you be scared?
If only I knew.