Chapter 22: Crying? Looking for Daddy?
⸻
The sound of birds echoed faintly outside the window as soft golden light spilled into the room, chasing away the darkness of last night.
My eyes fluttered open slowly. That was when I realized—I was still in P'Theer's arms.
He was still asleep. His face, usually sharp and unyielding, looked strangely peaceful. For a moment, I just lay there, watching him in silence. Then, quietly, I shifted, intending to get up.
But the arm around me tightened immediately.
"Where are you going…" His husky voice rumbled from his throat, even though his eyes remained closed.
I glanced down at him. "Nowhere," I whispered back. "I just thought I'd get up."
He slowly opened his eyes, meeting mine with a gaze heavy with exhaustion, shadows from last night still lingering there. But behind them, something else shimmered—an emotion I had never seen in him before.
"Just a little longer…" he murmured, voice almost pleading. "Stay with me… just a little longer."
I didn't answer. Instead, I nodded faintly and rested my head against his shoulder again, breathing in the faint trace of his cologne. The warmth of him was overwhelming, the kind of comfort that made me not want to move at all.
Time passed in silence, until eventually he loosened his hold and sat up. His expression was calmer now, though his eyes still carried layers of feelings I couldn't quite name. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak first.
"About last night… I'm sorry." His voice was steady, but his eyes were filled with guilt.
"It's alright," I said softly. "I understand."
"I wasn't so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing," he admitted. "I just… couldn't control myself."
I didn't know what to say, so I offered him a faint smile. In his eyes, I saw contradictions—strength and fragility, tangled together in a way that made my chest ache.
"Warun…" he began again, then stopped, as though the right words slipped from him.
I reached out and gently touched his arm. "You don't have to say anything. I'm already here."
He turned to look at me again. In his eyes swirled emotions I couldn't untangle. And then, without another word, he pulled me into his arms once more. It was soft, but firm enough that I understood—he needed me.
"Thank you, Warun," he whispered against my hair. "Thank you for being here."
I wrapped my arms around him in return, equally gentle. That morning drifted by slowly, the silence broken only by birdsong and the warm sunlight spilling across the wooden floor of our room.
⸻
Later, I walked to the wardrobe. I wanted something simple, but still neat enough for the day. I tried several outfits, none of them quite right—until my eyes caught sight of a set hanging quietly in the corner.
It was the outfit he once gave me.
A small smile tugged at my lips. I lifted it carefully and slipped into it. It fit perfectly, as if tailored just for me. The moment I wore it, I felt different—special, almost. Confidence stirred in me, quietly but firmly.
When I finished dressing, I moved to the mirror. My reflection looked better than I expected. I gave myself a small smile before slipping on shoes that matched.
By the time I went downstairs, he was already waiting.
Today, he dressed simply, yet somehow looked effortlessly refined. His hair was neatly styled, and his normally stern face carried a softness that almost startled me.
"Ready?" he asked, a faint smile curving his lips.
I nodded. "Ready."
He walked toward me, offering his hand. I hesitated only a moment before resting mine in his. His warmth seeped into my skin, a quiet reassurance that made me feel safe.
We walked to his car together. It was the same one as always, but this time, he opened the door for me like a gentleman. My heart stuttered at the gesture, a rush of something unsteady racing through me.
The car glided smoothly along the quiet road. Neither of us spoke, but the silence was no longer suffocating. Instead, it was filled with something heavier—unspoken emotions, the kind that lingered warmly in the air between us.
When we finally arrived, I realized the gathering was held at a traditional wooden house (a ruen mai, an old-style Thai wooden house). Its aged exterior carried a charm of its own. Guests dressed in beautiful outfits moved gracefully, and the sound of Thai classical music floated in the air, blending with laughter.
I walked alongside him. Eyes turned toward us—some curious, some surprised—but we didn't care. Together, we headed straight to the table where our friends were seated.
"Finally! Ray, you're here!" Jan waved energetically, grinning from ear to ear. "Took you long enough!"
I gave a sheepish smile. "What can I say? Had to be fashionably late, right? Makes me look important."
The sound of live music filled the grand hall, its high ceilings echoing with strings and flutes. Light from crystal chandeliers spilled down in golden layers, glittering off polished marble floors. Well-dressed guests moved in waves, their silks and satins brushing past each other, their voices mixing into a pleasant cacophony.
And then, in the midst of it all, his eyes found us.
Khwankhao.
For a man whose expression was usually carved from stone, his composure cracked the moment we stepped into the hall. His eyes widened, surprise cutting through his mask, and then in an instant he snapped it back into place. His lips tightened, his jaw clenched — as though he wished to erase what he'd just felt.
I almost lost it.
We all did. Standing there at the entrance with P'Theer beside me in his dark tailored suit, face calm but a faint smile tugging at his lips, it was impossible not to laugh. At first we tried to hold it in — but it burst out anyway, our laughter scattering like sparks across the tension.
Whatever weight had been pressing down on the room dissolved. Suddenly, the grand hall didn't feel suffocating anymore.
But Khwankhao wasn't laughing.
His steps were sharp, deliberate, like the click of a blade unsheathing. He cut through the crowd and stopped right in front of us, his brows drawn tight, lips pressed into a thin white line. His sharp eyes fixed on me, unblinking, filled with irritation that felt cold enough to slice skin.
"What are you doing here?" His voice hit like a stone dropped onto cement — hard, flat, merciless.
I tilted my head, wearing the cockiest smile I could muster.
"Took a car," I replied. "Or did you think I flew here?"
A dangerous silence. His stare only grew colder, as if a sheet of ice had settled between us.
"You have no right to be at my party."
Before the tension could crack into something worse, one of the servants leaned in and whispered something into his ear. Khwankhao's lips twitched in annoyance, but he gave a single stiff nod. The servant stepped back. A moment later, the first notes of a waltz swelled through the hall. Couples began to pair off, laughter and silk shoes sliding across the polished floor.
We gathered near one corner of the hall, still chuckling under our breath. That's when Khwankhao moved again. His eyes weren't on me this time. They were locked onto P'Theer.
He forced a smile as he approached, though his clenched fists gave him away. "Will you dance with me?" His voice softened, but only on the surface, like velvet covering a knife.
He shook his head politely. His reply was calm, yet firm.
"Forgive me. I can't dance with you."
"Why not? This is my celebration." Khwankhao's smile faltered. "Is it too much to ask, just this once, to be my partner?"
His gaze was steady, his words deliberate.
"I already have a fiancée-to-be. If I were to dance with you, it would be… inappropriate. And I won't do anything to make him uncomfortable."
The words hit like glass shattering on marble.
Khwankhao's face went pale. The blood seemed to drain from him all at once, leaving only a shell.
And then — as if fate were watching with cruel amusement — one of the elder guests stepped forward, brows raised in curiosity. "And who," the man asked, voice carrying across the circle of listeners, "is the lucky one?"
Hid lips curved into a soft smile, warmth in his eyes I had rarely seen. His voice, when he spoke, was tender and sure.
"The lucky one… is me," he said. "Because I will have him as my bride."
He turned toward me then, gaze locking onto mine. His eyes called me forward.
Jan, ever the mischief-maker, nudged my arm with her elbow. "Go," her eyes seemed to say.
I swallowed hard, heat rushing to my cheeks. Across the room, Khwankhao's stare burned into me — unflinching, furious.
I met his gaze and lifted one brow, just enough to taunt him without a word. My thoughts screamed with wicked satisfaction.
That's right. He chose me. Me, not you.
And in that silent moment, I laughed inside.
Checkmate.
The grand hall of the mansion buzzed with laughter and conversation, chandeliers glinting like scattered stars. I had barely caught my breath from the earlier dancing when P'Theer leaned close and spoke to everyone gathered around.
"I've finally asked for her hand," he said calmly. "My mother will discuss the details soon."
I spun around in shock, eyes wide. Whispers rippled through the room—some cheerful, others incredulous. My family's faces mirrored the spectrum of reactions. My mother chuckled softly, while my father remarked with a hint of nostalgia,
"He's been saying he'd ask since he was sixteen, but wanted you to grow older first—he didn't want you burdened too early."
I was frozen, unable to respond. Friends approached with teasing grins, and P'Ya patted my shoulder comfortingly.
After a moment, P'Theer extended his hand toward me for a dance. The music shifted to a gentle waltz, and we moved through the crowd. I felt the warmth of the dance floor press against the cool evening air spilling from the open windows. When the song ended, applause thundered through the hall.
The next song began, and I stood with P'Ya, P'Theer, and friends, sipping lightly and exchanging words. After a while, P'Ya and P'Theer excused themselves to converse with the elders.
I signaled to my friends with a glance, smiled faintly, and slipped out of the crowded hall. My footsteps led me to the quiet garden outside, where moonlight spilled across the stone paths. I inhaled deeply, pretending to enjoy the cool night air—but my heart thumped like a war drum. It felt cinematic, almost as though I'd stepped into a movie scene I'd watched a thousand times.
It didn't take long for Khwankhao to appear. He stormed toward me, his face a mask of anger, eyes blazing with a fury that seemed almost tangible.
"You came here to humiliate me, didn't you?" His voice was hard, cold.
I blinked innocently, playing the part. "I don't understand what you mean."
His fists clenched until the veins stood out like cords, teeth gritted in pure rage. "Don't pretend! You think I wouldn't see that you planned this!"
The mask of civility shattered, revealing the raw, unfiltered man beneath. Of course he did, I thought.
I shifted into my mischievous smile. "Oh, really? How'd you guess? Well… we're kind of on the same team, but honestly? You can't beat me. Lies, lies everywhere. Habitual lies. Oops! Sorry, just speaking the truth." I smirked inwardly.
My plan worked. Khwankhao's anger erupted, uncontrollable. "You!! You should just die! A worthless person like you has no right to exist!"
I scanned him from head to toe with disdain. "And you have so much value? A man constantly seeking attention… chasing someone he secretly likes… and yet… he chose me! Because he loves me!"
His face flushed crimson with rage. "You should've died that day! How did someone like you survive?!"
My tone turned serious, eyes narrowing. "Oh… it was you… who sent people after me back then…" I thought, though I had already known.
Khwankhao, furious beyond reason, answered without hesitation. "Yes! I did! You stole my heart! Someone like you doesn't deserve him! I can make everyone hate you and still… why does he like you?!"
"Even without me, he wouldn't choose you for a wife," I retorted sharply. "Look at yourself—no different from a madman right now."
He shouted, voice thick with rage. "You! Your mouth will only get you this far, Warun!"
I widened my eyes as he raised a long knife that glinted in the moonlight. Shit, I thought. Where did that come from? Why didn't I see it?
Despite the shock, I smiled mischievously. "Whoa… planning to stab me here? Not afraid of being seen?"
"It's just me here…" he said, voice hard.
I interjected immediately, "Sure about that?" My gaze flicked to the left.
His eyes followed mine, and his face drained of color instantly. His grip on the knife trembled as he realized a crowd had gathered—P'Theer, Jan, and several friends—all staring at him in shock and disbelief.
"You… you're threatening me!" Khwankhao yelled, trying to mask his fear with a semblance of dignity.
The grand hall of the mansion hummed with chatter and laughter, chandeliers scattering soft golden light across the polished floor. I had barely caught my breath after the previous dance when P'Theer stepped forward, addressing everyone in attendance.
"I have formally asked for your hand," he announced calmly. "My mother will handle the arrangements soon."
I whirled to look at him, utterly shocked. Whispers rippled through the room—some congratulatory, some incredulous. I glanced at my family. My mother laughed softly, while my father, with a nostalgic tone, said,
"He mentioned wanting to ask since he was sixteen, but he waited until you were older—he didn't want to rush things."
I froze, words failing me. Friends approaching wore teasing expressions, and P'Ya gave my shoulder a gentle, comforting pat.
After a while, P'Theer extended his hand to me for a dance. The soft waltz began, and we moved together amidst the crowd. I could feel the warm wood underfoot and the cool night air drifting through open windows. When the music ended, applause echoed throughout the hall.
As the next song began, I lingered with P'Ya, P'Theer, and our friends, chatting and sipping drinks. Soon after, P'Ya and P'Theer excused themselves to speak with the adults.
I caught my friends' eyes, sending them a silent signal, and allowed a small smile before slipping out of the crowded hall. I walked straight to the quiet backyard, pretending to breathe in the night air deeply, though my heart hammered like a war drum. It felt like a scene straight out of a movie I'd watched countless times.
Not long after, Khwankhao appeared. He strode toward me, face dark, eyes blazing with furious intensity.
"You came here to humiliate me, didn't you?" he demanded, his voice hard.
I blinked innocently, feigning ignorance. "I don't understand what you're talking about."
His fists clenched, veins bulging. Teeth gritted, he spat his anger: "Don't pretend! You think I can't see you planned this!"
The mask of civility shattered completely, revealing the raw person underneath. He did plan this, I thought.
I let a mischievous grin spread across my face. "Oh really? How'd you figure that out? Ah… same team, I guess… but honestly, you can't beat me. Lies, lies to everyone. Lies so habitual. Oops! Sorry, accidentally spoke the truth," I thought with a smirk.
My plan worked. Khwankhao was boiling with uncontrollable rage. "You! You should just die! Someone like you has no place here!"
I scanned him from head to toe with disdain. "And you have so much worth? A man who constantly craves attention… chasing someone secretly… and yet… he chose me! Because he loves me!"
Khwankhao's face burned red. "You should've died that day! How did someone like you survive?"
I narrowed my eyes, my playful tone turning serious. "Oh… it was you… who sent people after me that day…" I had actually suspected as much all along.
Furious and unhinged, Khwankhao answered without hesitation. "Yes! I did! You stole my heart! Someone like you doesn't deserve him! I made people hate you… and yet, why… why does he still like you? I'm better than you in every way!"
"Even without me, he wouldn't have married you," I argued back. "Look at yourself right now—you're no different from a madman."
He shouted, rage choking his words. "You! Your mouth is only good for today, Warun!"
My eyes widened as he raised a long knife that glinted under the moonlight. Shit, I thought. Where did that come from? Why didn't I see it?
Despite my shock, I smiled mischievously. "Oh… going to stab me here? Not afraid someone might see?"
"It's just me here…" he said, voice hard.
I quickly interjected, "Are you sure?" and glanced to my left.
Khwankhao's eyes followed mine, and his face turned pale instantly. His hand shook visibly as he saw the crowd—P'Theer, Jan, and several friends—all staring at him with a mix of shock and disbelief.
"You… you're threatening me!" Khwankhao shouted, trying once more to regain a facade of decency.
Suddenly, Jan stepped out from the shadows. "Everyone heard everything. Don't lie," she said with a mocking smile. "Now we have witnesses and proof of everything you and your friends have done."
Her words hit Khwankhao like an explosion. He screamed in a mixture of rage and despair.
"No! I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't do it!" He turned toward P'Theer. "P'Theer… you have to believe me… I didn't… it's…" His voice broke into incoherent cries.
"But I saw everything," P'Theer said coldly. "I saw you with the knife… and I heard every word you said."
Khwankhao collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down his face. "No! P'Theer… you have to believe me… I love you!"
"If you truly loved me, you wouldn't hurt someone I care about," P'Theer said, gently taking my hand.
"You! You bastard!" Khwankhao shouted at me. "You ruined my life! You destroyed everything! You… you will pay!"
I looked at him with pity. "I didn't destroy your life… you did it yourself."
Then the police stepped in, swiftly restraining Khwankhao. His screams echoed through the garden, but slowly, the chaos settled, and a calm returned over the night.
After the party slowly dissolved, the laughter and music that once echoed grandly faded along with the dimming lights across the courtyard. Only the soft glow of lanterns remained. Tonight, the world seemed silent, with nothing but the chirping of crickets and the rustle of leaves brushing against each other in rhythm with the gentle breeze.
As soon as I stepped out of the courtyard, my parents and sister rushed to embrace me tightly, so much that I could barely breathe. Warmth spread through my body, mingling with the soft sounds of sobbing near my ear.
"Mom and Dad are sorry, son," my father said, his voice trembling slightly. "Sorry for ever misunderstanding you. Sorry for letting you suffer alone."
The hands that had once been firm and stern—holding knives or pens in the past—trembled as they rested on my shoulders. I could feel the pressure that once weighed down on me dissolve completely.
I let out a quiet laugh, tears threatening to spill.
"Where did the grumpy old man disappear to?" I teased.
Dad paused for a moment, exhaling a long, resigned breath. "If only you weren't my son…"
I lifted my face, raising an eyebrow with a playful, shy look.
"So what would you do, huh?"
Mom and my sister standing beside me chuckled softly, turning the previously tense atmosphere into something warm and simple, like a genuine family moment.
We sat and talked for a while. My family asked about everything that had happened, and I recounted it honestly—not to justify myself, but to show that no one side was entirely at fault. I admitted that I had let my emotions get the better of me, which caused everything to spiral out of control. My voice trembled slightly when mentioning the moments I couldn't control myself, but in everyone's eyes, there was only understanding. No one judged.
⸻
After our conversation, P'Theer and I walked back to the small house under the quiet night. Dim lanterns dotted the pathway, casting scattered light. The evening breeze carried the smell of damp earth and wet grass, remnants of the earlier rain, brushing against my nose. I looked up at the sky—stars glittered as though sprinkled with silver dust. The stillness of the fields made my heart race faster than ever.
Leaves shivered in the wind, tiny raindrops fell from the eaves as if witnessing the moment. The surroundings glimmered in serene silence, but my heart thundered, beating in sync with the raindrops.
We walked side by side, silent, but some unspoken force between us spoke louder than words ever could.
When we reached the front of the small house, P'Theer suddenly stopped. His tall frame turned, gripping my arm firmly. A faint scent of his cologne mingled with the earthy aroma of the wet ground, and I instinctively pressed my face against his warm chest. His shoulders trembled slightly; the thump of his heartbeat echoed in my own.
"Warun…" His voice was hoarse, trembling so softly I could barely hear it.
Before I could respond, he slowly sank to one knee under the dim lantern light. His usually steady hands shook as he drew a small, dark box from his pocket. He opened it, revealing a simple silver ring, gleaming brilliantly in the darkness. The reflection in his eyes made my heart skip violently.
"I… I may not be good with words, never was… but today… I don't want to keep it in anymore." His voice quivered, tears welling up. Hic…hic… He tried to hold them back. "Will you… stay with me… forever? Hic… Will you marry me?"
I saw the tears streaming down his face. The tall, strong man I'd always known was vulnerable, crying in front of me, and it made my heart swell with love and tenderness.
I knelt closer, brushing away the tears from his cheek with my thumb, smiling through my own tears.
"Ha… you cold-hearted man, acting like a baby now?" I said, my voice shaking but filled with warmth.
He chuckled softly, tears still streaming, a wavering smile reflecting the hidden gentleness, love, and steadfastness.
I took a deep breath, eyes wide, tears spilling freely. I smiled through them and said, my voice shaking but firm:
"I… I accept… I will stay with you forever. Hic… I love you…"
He smiled broadly, placing the ring on my finger and wrapping me tightly in his arms. Tears still fell from his cheeks. The soft, trembling sobs filled the night.
"I swear… I will love you, stay by your side every day, in good times and bad, laugh with you, cry with you, never let go… I love you… more than anything I have. Hic…"
Then he let out a full, unrestrained cry. "Huuuhhhh…" The sound echoed throughout the small house. His body shuddered, tears streaming over his entire face. I buried my face in his chest, stroking his back, feeling the rhythm of his sobs settle gradually.
"You don't have to hold it in alone anymore… You can cry now. Hic… Come here, I'm right here." I said, my voice trembling, tears still flowing, but my heart full of warmth.
He hugged me tightly, sobbing, hiccuping… making the night feel as if it had been created solely for the two of us. Outside, the world seemed to pause, leaving only our hearts beating together.
⸻
Just as I reached for the ring, suddenly, cheers, whistles, and clapping erupted from the shadows.
I turned sharply. My entire family, P'Theer's family, friends, even my parents' friends appeared, all with wide smiles, clapping loudly. Some whistled as though at a performance.
I froze, looking at him in surprise.
P'Theer wiped his tears and laughed softly, the corners of his mouth lifted in a happiness I had never seen before.
That night ended with the two of us on a soft bed, my body held tightly in his warm arms. His steady breathing lulled me to close my eyes. The distant chaos and cheers faded to a soft echo.
This kind of happiness… how long could it last…?