Every day at work was the same. The manager would arrive with a pile of documents that had to be scanned and signed on the computer after very careful review. Every day, over and over again. Finally, one day, a colleague came to my desk and invited me and another friend of his to go to a casino. At first I refused, but after a few days he invited me again, I refused again, but every time I refused, he came back after a few days. Finally, I agreed—he was overjoyed and said he would take me there right after work.
I sat in the quiet car with my colleague, and although from the look on his face you might think we were having fun, it was very, very boring. I tried to start a conversation a few times, but he responded with one or two words: "How long have you been there?" "Not too long." "Do you bet a lot of money?" "... sometimes." etc. After a few minutes, I gave up, took out my phone, and opened my social media accounts. After about 10 minutes, we arrived, and my colleague, Roberts, unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door: "We're here, come on." Without answering, I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and got out. "Well, what do you think? It's a normal place, isn't it?" Roberts said unexpectedly. "Well, yes, it looks good from the outside," I replied, trying not to sound indifferent or offensive. To be honest, the building looked like it could collapse at any moment, it was littered with rubbish and one of the windows was broken. Robert started walking inside without thinking. After a slight delay, I followed him. Immediately after entering, there was a very strong smell of cigarettes, so unpleasant that I immediately covered my nose. Robert noticed this and looked at me as if I were strange. We went to the roulette table, and the first thing Roberts said, except for taking out his wallet, was, "Please exchange 150 euros for chips." I looked at Robert as if he were crazy, and the woman on the other side of the table immediately began counting out 150 euros worth of chips and they made the exchange. A moment passed and nothing happened. I realized that Robert and the woman were both looking at me, waiting for something. I realized that they were both waiting for me to participate as well. At first, I didn't even want to participate, but I decided that since I was already there, I might as well play a little. "Ten euros in chips, please." The woman nodded and we quickly exchanged money, she gave me two 5 euro chips. Roberts was visibly excited and decided to bet 80 euros right away. He placed it on black, but I used my 5 euros and also placed it on black. As soon as I placed it, the woman spun the wheel, and I'm not lying, the excitement and adrenaline at that moment were fantastic. And finally, when the wheel stopped, it was on number 1, red. Robert was so angry that I thought he was going to start hitting me—the Robert who was at work had completely disappeared here... why did he even want me to come here with him? Very soon he put down another 30 euros, again on black; the woman looked at me, and I shook my head to say no, I'll try again next round. This time, it landed on number 26, black - the happiness on Roberts' face was fantastic - it was as if he had already forgotten that he was still losing money. I got up and decided that I would spend this money and forget about this night. I didn't even look at where I put it. Then something unexpected happened: another woman approached Robert with two drinks in her hands. Robert took them with a smile and drank one in one gulp. Then the woman looked at me and handed me the other drink. After a moment, I shook my head and refused. The woman turned around and handed the other drink to Robert again, and he took it and drank it again. It was obvious that the alcohol was having a quick effect on him. Finally, he took 50 euros from the remaining 100 and placed it on red. The woman spun the wheel, and this time I was completely indifferent to the result because I was already tired of it, but as soon as the wheel stopped, both the woman and Robert were shocked because the number 19, red, had come up. I looked at what I had bet on and saw that it was exactly the same - the number 19, red. At that moment, I felt a rush of adrenaline. I could almost feel Robert's envy in the air, even though he had also won. I didn't even know how much I had to give, but as the woman began to pay out my winnings, my shock grew more and more, because Robert had a total of 150 euros, but I now had 180 euros. Visibly annoyed, Robert probably wanted to show that he could win like that too, and bet 75 euros on number 11, black, and number 4, black. While I, still full of adrenaline, bet on number 0, green. I closed my eyes and began to breathe deeply, and as the seconds passed, I began to think: "Why didn't I take it out right away? I would have won a lot of money, 18 times more than I put in at the beginning...". Almost immediately afterwards, both Roberts and the woman screamed loudly—I opened my eyes, and the ball had stopped at 0, green. Roberts had lost everything, and I had won about 6,500 euros. Roberts shouted loudly and grabbed me by the neck, grabbing my other hand in a fist. He hit me 1... 2... 3 times, but very quickly, security ran over and pushed him to the ground. I slowly got to my feet and asked to exchange my chips for cash. The woman nodded and quickly exchanged my winnings. I left the casino, my face hurt terribly, and I didn't have a car, but... I felt like I was on top of the world.
Almost immediately afterwards, both Roberts and the woman screamed loudly—I opened my eyes, and the ball had stopped at 0, green. Roberts had lost everything, and I had won about 6,500 euros. Roberts shouted loudly and grabbed me by the neck, grabbing my other hand in a fist. He hit me 1... 2... 3 times, but very quickly, security ran over and pushed him to the ground. I slowly got to my feet and asked to exchange my chips for cash. The woman nodded and quickly exchanged my winnings. I left the casino, my face hurt terribly, and I didn't have a car, but... I felt like I was on top of the world.
At that moment, I woke up in my bed and thought, "Seriously...? Was that a dream?!" But then I felt something under my pillow—I slowly pulled it out, and it was the same €6,500. Shock and adrenaline... and I just sat in bed for a few minutes, holding the money in my hand, as if it were still a dream. After a moment, I got up and started getting ready for work, not even knowing what to do with the money, and decided to leave it under the pillow and figure it out after work. At work, I had a very strange feeling, as if something was squeezing me and I couldn't breathe without extreme pain. Roberta wasn't there today. But I was overcome by the desire to go back and play roulette again. I tried to push the thought away, but no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away, and in the end, to calm myself down, I decided that I would play 100 of the euros I had won at roulette.
When work finally ended, I got in my car, drove to my apartment, accidentally took 150 euros instead of 100, and drove to the same casino. When I pulled into the parking lot, Roberta's car was still there, but she wasn't. I took out the 150 euros I had taken and realized my mistake, so I left 50 euros in the car. I got out of the car, locked it, and went inside. I slowly looked for the same woman as yesterday and approached her. She recognized me and said, "Back already? How much are you betting today?" I didn't like her comment, but I swallowed it and said, "100 euros." She quickly handed me the chips, and I immediately started placing bets. Unsurprisingly, I quickly lost all my money; I didn't win a single spin, but for some reason, I had an overwhelming feeling that we were close to winning. At that moment, I remembered the 50 euros I had accidentally brought with me, and immediately ran to the car to get them. I told the woman that I would be right back and started running. I thought I heard her sigh sadly, but I figured I must have misheard her and kept running. A moment later, I was back and exchanged my 50 euros for chips, and immediately on the first spin, the 25 euros I had placed on number 19, red, landed on exactly that. The woman seemed almost shocked as she handed me 900 euros in chips. Now I had a small dilemma: I could take everything out now and have won a lot again... or I could try again. Almost as if my body was acting on its own, I continued betting, reassuring myself, thinking, "You trusted yourself once and won, why shouldn't it happen again?" It didn't even take 20 minutes before I lost everything. Unable to believe what had just happened, I pulled my hair and started cursing myself, but deep down, something told me that next time I would succeed, and at that moment I decided that with the money I had at home, tomorrow I would win back what I had lost today.
I woke up knowing what I had to do today. I called my manager, saying that I was sick, and pretended a little longer. He let me skip work, I thanked him, took all the money I had won, and got in the car. Soon I was there, I went in, looking for the same woman, but she wasn't there today. I went to another table and started betting. At first, I was doing extremely badly, I lost 300 euros in 10 minutes, and I thought about going home and swallowing what I had lost, but at that moment, a woman came with two glasses of alcohol. I refused, but quickly changed my mind, called her back, and emptied both glasses.
Once again, I woke up in bed, but this time my cousin was sitting on a chair in the kitchen. I asked him what had happened and why he was there. He gave me a mirror and I saw that my face was covered in bruises. My hair was torn out... He began to tell me what he had seen. Apparently, I was screaming and hitting myself every time I lost, and I was visibly very drunk. My cousin went to the person who was cutting the wheel and asked how much alcohol I had been given. He replied that he had stopped counting after the tenth drink, which was about an hour ago. Of the approximately €6,200 I had gone there with, I had lost €5,000. Towards the end, I had started placing €500 bets on individual numbers. My cousin swallowed hard and said nervously, "You really need to stop. If you keep going like this, you'll ruin your life. Even if you leave now, you'll have won €1,200, so stop there and be happy." I understood what he was trying to say, but it made me sick that someone else was trying to tell me what to do. After a moment, I said, "I understand, thank you for bringing me home, I'll think about what you said." Slowly, he got up from his chair, said goodbye, and left my apartment. A few minutes passed and I punched the wall in anger that I had lost 5,000 euros and someone was trying to teach me how to live my life. I calmed down and got dressed to go to work. He was right, I needed to end this.
I arrived at work, swallowing my pride, and sat down at my desk. Very soon, the manager came to my desk, congratulated me on my recovery, and placed a pile of documents on my desk that was about three times larger than usual and had to be completed by the end of the day. I suppressed my anger until he left, took a deep breath, picked up the first document, and started working. After about an hour, I thought I had finished most of it and looked at the remaining pile, thinking that at least half of it would be done. I was shocked to see that I had done well, if 10% of the whole. At that moment, I slammed my hands on the table with all my strength and shouted at the top of my voice. All my colleagues in the room were watching me. After a moment, I gathered my things and left the building; I couldn't take it anymore. About half an hour later, my manager called me, but I decided to ignore him because I was already home and didn't care anymore. The phone kept ringing for a full 10 minutes. Extremely annoyed, I picked up the phone and shouted into the microphone, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" The manager replied in a calm but annoyed voice, "Where are you now?" I almost froze, not knowing what to say. I hung up, hoping that the problem would resolve itself. After about 10 minutes, the manager sent me a formal letter informing me that I had been fired. I was shocked and immediately called the manager, but he didn't answer because he had blocked me.
Not knowing what to do, I started calling all my colleagues whose numbers I had, but only one answered and said that the manager was extremely angry and told me never to come back. Then my colleague hung up. I tried to call him back, but he had already blocked me. In my anger, I threw my phone against the wall, completely destroying the screen. I cursed myself, grabbing my hair. Thinking about what to do next, I realized that if I took all the money and won at the casino like I did on the first day, I wouldn't have to worry about work! I grabbed my wallet—it had all my cards and cash, as well as the remaining 1,200 euros. But the moment I was about to grab the handle to leave the apartment, I had an extremely bad feeling about how today might end. I stood at the door, almost frozen, for about 30 seconds, then gritted my teeth and opened it. While driving, I wondered whether I should really do this, but I successfully ignored these thoughts because I was already there.
I went inside, found an empty roulette table, and immediately started playing. On my third spin, I won a lot of money, which made me think that this was the right choice. Soon two women arrived, each carrying two glasses of alcohol. I took one and refused the rest. I realized that I couldn't drink too much, or I would lose everything. Some guys I didn't know came over, and we started talking while we played. We became friends very quickly and decided to meet here more often to talk about this and that.
The days began to pass faster and faster, and soon it would be a month since I was fired from my job, but I didn't care, I was having a good time here with my friends. I needed to sell my current car to pay the rent for my apartment. Instead, I bought a used electric scooter and spent the rest of the money on roulette with my friends. Very soon, one of my friends gave me a syringe and showed me where to inject it in my arm to get high. Every day was spent with friends, bright lights, syringes that I now had to pay for, and alcohol. I started borrowing money from everyone who would give it to me, even my mother. I owed money to absolutely everyone. My friends even slowly began to distance themselves when I sold my apartment so I could continue. I stopped maintaining my hygiene because there were no public showers anywhere. People around me started to turn their noses up at me, and now, even if I won, I felt nothing. I was no longer there to win money, but because I had nowhere else to go. One day my family came looking for me because my cousin had told them where I might be, and they found me on the street, sleeping on the ground. They woke me up to make sure it was me. My mother immediately started crying, and they quickly left. Very soon after that, I ran out of money and could no longer buy anything from my last friend or even play any casino games.
I woke up, it was a cold winter night, my jacket couldn't keep me warm, and I hadn't eaten for several days. No one wanted to give money to someone like me anymore. I took a slow, deep breath and got up. I started walking, looking for the tallest building that was open at the time, and ended up at my old apartment. After a moment, I went inside, walked straight to the elevator, and pressed the highest floor that the elevator could reach. Holding on to the edges, I climbed two more floors and opened the roof door with a code that hadn't changed in all this time. Slowly, trembling, I climbed over the barriers and looked down at the street below. My hands held tightly onto the barriers behind me. Hearing my heartbeat, breathing slowly... I let go.