Dripping wet and fresh from the warp gate, I stripped off my soaking T-shirt. My plan? Wring it out.
My execution? A little too… robust.
The fabric, once a proud garment, now looked like a ghost-town flag. It was a damn mess of shredded cotton.
Seriously, I need to get this whole "monstrous strength" thing under control, or my next handshake is going to end with a trip to the ER and a lawsuit. And as for sex... I'm not trying to turn the first girl I meet into a fine paste.
With those deeply important, life-or-death thoughts swirling in my head, I realized I was completely and utterly lost in some unknown city.
The manga was zero help. Either it never mentioned this place, or my brain just glossed over it.
My big, fateful meeting with Deku was supposed to go down in a dingy underpass, right when that sludge villain decided to get all slimy.
Then All Might would burst in, busting through a manhole cover like a glorious, golden jack-in-the-box. Yeah, no thanks. I'm not jumping into a sewer just to stick to the script.
Trying to navigate this world with just a manga volume is a fool's errand. It's like trying to get GPS directions from a flipbook.
The timeline is a joke; panels can skip minutes, hours, or even flash back to the past. Right now, on the pages of the story, that flashback scene where the doctor tells Deku he's Quirkless is probably happening. So yeah, the manga is a rough guide at best—more of a suggestion than a blueprint.
So, how do I find Deku? Do I even want to? The whole point of him getting a Quirk is me giving him mine, and that's a hard nope from me. If I don't give him anything, he stays powerless and this whole "main character" gig is toast.
A dark part of me, the part that loves chaos, kind of wants to see that happen. It's not some "plot device" pulling me toward him, I swear. No, I just want to look him dead in the eye when he finally realizes he's not the star of this show anymore. All that's left is to wait for the sludge villain to cause some mayhem. That's my cue.
I started walking down a street so narrow I swear the buildings were trying to high-five each other.
People were staring, pointing, and whispering. They probably thought I was All Might—a soaking wet, half-naked All Might.
To be fair, I did look the part, or at least a very unhinged version of him.
This street was quaint, lined with bicycles and mopeds, the kind of cozy, back-alley vibe you find on the fringes of Japanese cities.
I finally hit a major road, a wide, four-lane asphalt river. Relief washed over me. This is where I'd find some heroes or cops, someone who could point me toward the chaos. This city wasn't small, and finding one kid and one villain was going to be a real pain. If the sludge guy had grabbed Bakugo instead, I could have just followed the trail of explosions.
Suddenly, the ground started to rumble. A deep, bone-shaking groan of cracking pavement.
A colossal shadow fell over me, swallowing up the sun and the high-rises around us.
Massive, fabric-covered buttocks blotted out the sky, swaying rhythmically with every step. The skin was taut, rippling like fresh pudding. I knew that hero from a thousand miles away. It was Mount Lady, the Queen of Gigantification.
Of course, she was here. She's the one who neutralizes the villain in this city at the beginning of the chapter. Right now, she was in the middle of a rescue, plucking people off a burning building. A huge, car-sized hand appeared, and the victims scrambled onto it.
To lower them down, she bent over, and her smile said it all: she was doing this on purpose.
The manga mentioned she was a hero who craved attention, always looking for a way to get famous. I wondered what she could possibly do with that kind of attention.
Then my thoughts completely short-circuited. There's no other way to put it. Mount Lady was in a full-on doggy-style pose—full-on.
Thank god for those skintight suits. Her ass cheeks parted like two majestic mountains, revealing a swollen crotch straining the fabric.
The cameras from a hundred paparazzi started clicking and flashing, snapping me out of my trance. I picked my jaw up off the floor and wiped the drool from my face. Walking toward her, I suddenly felt... uncomfortable.
My jeans were chafing, the thick fabric groaning at the seams. It wasn't anything supernatural. It was a good old-fashioned hard-on.
I remembered something from the manga about how hero costumes are made from their own hair so they don't tear when they use their Quirks. Like, fire powers or whatever.
I don't know where they get all that hair, and it just seems like a lame author excuse so they don't have to draw everyone naked.
But my regular, civilian clothes? Yeah, they were a problem. My T-shirt was already toast, and my jeans were about to lose a fight with the monster in my pants.
A real disaster, especially with all the journalists gathered to gawk at Mount Lady's mountains.
I wasn't going to blame the jeans.
One look was all it took.
I swear, I was growing a third leg.
A slight exaggeration, maybe, but only a slight one. The shaft was getting bigger, and I was genuinely worried it might reach my knee.
Don't even get me started on the thickness. Before, I was worried about my own hands breaking a girl's delicate waist, or my hips cracking her pelvis.
Now? I'd just tear a girl to shreds if I impaled her on this arm-thick beast.
Another one of All Might's problems.
Though, knowing his character, he never had a girlfriend anyway.
Heroism first, ladies later.
While I was having a crisis over the sheer immensity of my new junk, trying to find some inner zen to calm myself down and not embarrass myself on live TV, Mount Lady approached me.
Time flies when you're caught in a panic. She'd already shrunk back to her normal size, and holy hell, she was tiny.
A typical Japanese woman, maybe waist-high.
I wasn't going to hide it. All Might suddenly grabbing his crotch would only attract more unwanted attention.
My jeans hadn't given up yet, just cinched my shaft tighter, the fabric groaning in protest.
So, I struck a pose. Hands on my hips, back straight, chest out, chin up.
A pose of peace, a pose of control. Mount Lady kept her distance, probably aware of the height difference.
God, this woman was more concerned with how she'd look in a tub than the people she just saved.
Her ego was working in my favor. The more distance, the more my "little" friend could calm down and fall asleep.
To be honest, Mount Lady's hero costume never did it for me.
The eye mask, the horns, the colors... what was she even going for?
Her Quirk was growth, so what's with the demon aesthetic?
The only thing I could connect it to was Japanese Oni, the horned demons. Maybe she wanted to be like them? Overall, it was a miss.
On the other hand, her shameless commercialism? That was kind of hot.
"Young lady, a pleasure to meet you!" A thin smile stretched across my face. All Might's pompous way of speaking was a real challenge to mimic. The guy loved puns, too. What a devil.
"All Might! Did you come to see my debut?!" she shrieked, her eyes darting all over my body, unable to believe I was real.
"I was just passing by. Thanks to you, people were saved. A job well done," I said, my smile widening. I probably overdid it, because Mount Lady's face twisted a little.
Her weird reaction made sense a second later.
Her gaze, which had been thrashing around, finally found a place to settle. And, dammit, of course it was there.
I swear I saw her pupils dilate, her eyes get a little watery.
Her jaw dropped slightly, her eyebrows shot up. A shiver ran through her body, and goosebumps prickled her neck. She hugged her forearms, trying to stay on her feet, her knees knocking together.
Before she could collapse from pure shock, I grabbed her by the left shoulder. My massive hand enveloped her completely, my fingertips touching her neck. I could feel the cold sweat soaking through her costume.
Despite her height, she had a generous chest, and as I steadied her, they swayed from side to side.
Her eyes, still locked on my bulging jeans, were wide with a mix of terror and awe, which only made things worse for me. With my other hand, I gently touched her chin and lifted her head until our eyes met.
"Hey, my eyes are up here!" I said.
That'll be my new catchphrase.
Maybe.