"This assignment is simply cruel and unusual punishment" mused Zelretch as he irritably tapped his fingers on the large oak desk he sat at. Not a single soul living or otherwise heard him in the empty spacious chamber that served as the Clock Towers administrative nerve center.
The room was left mostly unlit for Zelretch as a vampire had little need for light. No need to waste electricity and all that. Apparently environmentalism was some new hip trend for the youngsters these days.
The day was a special day for the Association that happened only twice a year. Thus resulting in the usual members of the administrative faculty being absent from the room. Unfortunately, Zelretch found himself banished to the administrative room by the unanimous vote of every department head in the Clock Tower. Again.
He had a rather high suspicion that the reason his lonesome self was assigned this position was that the odds of someone coming here were nigh zero on this day. How terribly droll and boring.
The only bright side was that this time he was hardly the only one banned from…
Zelretch's reminiscence were abruptly cut short as a door opened with a creak that sounded booming and ominous in the otherwise quite and dark room. The door fully opened to reveal a red haired young man with amber eyes and a body accentuated by a brilliant halo of light from behind.
The boy seemed oddly familiar to the aged vampire…
"I'm sorry but is this the admissions desk?" the young man asked with a slight accent as he walked up to Zelretch with an earnest smile.
"I think it is a bit late to be signing up as a student considering that the commencement ceremony for the new term will be starting at any moment" stated Zelretch with an eyebrow arched in genuine confusion. Throughout his many centuries of un-life Zelretch had received many differing reactions from those who had suddenly found themselves alone in a dark room with him.
Smiling had never been one of them.
"Ah, I'm not asking to enroll as a student. I was hoping that there might be some job postings available here" said the young man as he rubbed the back of his head with that damnable smile still on his face "my girlfried is starting as a student here this semester and brought me along as her apprentice. However, since I'm in some financial trouble I figured that I should try to get a job so that I don't end up as a burden for her."
"Oh, if that is all then allow me to assist you, my name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, but most people simply call me Zelretch" stated the vampire before blinking his eyes in confusion after the boy had not so much as twitched upon hearing the name "…are there any jobs in particular that you are looking for?"
Either the boy was completely oblivious to the ongoings of the moon lit world or the young man literally had nerves of steel…
"My name is Shirou Emiya and this might sound silly, but…" the red head replied before giving the sappiest and damnedest most sincere smile Zelretch had ever seen "…I would like to be employed as a Hero of Justice."
Zelretch momentarily spasmed as he felt a strange and unusual flutter in his undead heart at the raw emotion displayed before him. Completely unfamiliar with the sensation, Zelretch immediately assumed that this novel new experience was poisoning and decided keep a better eye on the cooking staff. If Barthomeloi had finally found a poison that could effect him even slightly then he would have to keep his guard up for the obvious next trial run.
Sometimes being the only not dead undead around for Lorelei to test her vampire killing weapons on could be such a drag…
Pulling out a stack of papers from his desks drawer the vampire quickly found what he was looking for. As he had suspected, the break between terms had given the Association's Enforcers enough time to find plenty of research material and sealing designates for the various departments.
The autopsy labs were completely filled to capacity.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that we don't have any available openings for heroes at the moment" Zelretch muttered aloud as he continued to leaf through more papers "let me check to see what openings we do have."
Not that he would ever admit it out loud, but somewhere deep inside Zelretch was honestly a little concerned about the young mans love life. Asking to be dissected for your girlfriends convenience was not normal. Not even for magi.
Ok, so maybe it was a little normal among Magi.
"Surprisingly, it would appear that there aren't any listed positions available right now" mused Zelretch as he skimmed through several documents covering the requests made by the twelve departments "it would appear that a relatively small number of our staff died during the summer break than usual. Only two deaths from interdepartmental assassinations, another four from research experiments that went horrifyingly wrong, and lastly one death from an experiment that went horrifyingly right. They were all easily replaced with our back up roster for the usual summer break losses."
The boys horrified look left Zelretch feeling a little miffed. People were getting far too soft these days. He briefly wondered how the boy would react if told about how bad christmas break losses usually were. The Holy Church always got a little kill happy with the heretics around that time of the year.
"What would you say your best skills are?" asked Zelretch wondering if he could find some alternative position for the clearly hopeless boy.
"I'm decent at cleaning, repair, and cooking" listed Shirou as his face became serious with an inner fire not normally found in the generic run of the mill magi. With a face like that Zelretch started to feel some hope that the boy wasn't a completely lost cause in the cut throat world of magus politics.
Perhaps this boy could be interesting to keep around after all…
"I suppose I could hire you as my personal janitor. Having someone to clean up and fix all of my mistakes would greatly increase my productivity" admitted Zelretch as he scratched his small beard pondering how long it would take for his newest plaything to break.
"I would be greatly honored" replied Shirou as he gave a small bow in thanks to his new employer "I can work afternoons and evenings after my mornings classes."
"Excellent, now lets check out your qualifications then" stated Zelretch as he brought out a pen and paper to take notes "what if any mental disorders or illnesses do you posses?"
"Huh?" asked Shirou tilting his head before hesitantly answering "…I can't say I have anything official but a lot of people seem to believe that I suffer from workaholism, foot in the mouth disease, extreme survivors guilt, idiotically heroic tendencies, and a general lack of common sense."
"Hmm, very impressive. In fact, most of are custodial staff don't start to get survivors guilt until several months into the job" said Zelretch nodding to himself in satisfaction "I'd say that you are definitely overqualified for an entry level position. By starting off at extreme levels while tacking on everything else I think we can have you start off at a senior position."
"Thank you?" asked Shirou more confused than anything else.
"Lets get the paperwork out of the way first and then we can head up to my lab and office" said Zelretch as he looked around the still eerily dark nerve center of the Clock Tower "it's not as if anyone else will need me."
SCENE BREAK 2
For Rin Tohsaka, today was a momentous occasion only surpassed by those days she had spent fighting for her life in the holy grail war. Today she would become an official student of the Mage's Association and begin her studies at the revered facilities of the Clock Tower.
Standing amidst countless other prospective new students in the marbled grand hall of the Clock Tower's main auditorium left her breath taken and nervous about what was to come. That was not to say she was nervous about the ceremony itself but rather the future challenges ahead of her.
As much as Rin thrived on challenges, she knew that her ethnicity would be looked down upon despite her genius and credentials. Not that the Mage's Association was exactly racist, but they certainly didn't look upon those they viewed as coming from back water countries favorably. Worse yet, she had no support from any of the other magus families gathered here to call upon for political support.
Though in all honesty, she had to admit that her pride would have prevented her from asking for help in the first place.
Her status as the winner of the fifth grail war wouldn't do her any good either for the ritual as a whole was largely unknown and irrelevant to the majority of the moon lit world. A rather good thing Rin admitted to herself in retrospect considering what she had learned after the war. Letting the rest of the moon lit world know that the true purpose of the ritual was to punch a hole directly to Akasha would not be good for her health as the overseer of the lands where the ritual took place. Especially if it became public that she planned to disband said ritual.
Hopefully her status as an average one who commanded all five of the main elements would reduce the number of detractors that she might face.
Taking a deep breath Rin used a simple breathing technique from her martial arts training to sooth her nerves. The loud chattering of her future peers gave Rin a reassurance that even magi were still ultimately humans. Rin returned her attention to the ongoings of the gathered assembly vying to gather what information she could.
Within the room there were several grand overarching balconies overlooking the main floor where Rin herself along with the other new initiates stood. Upon all but the main platform at the front where many of the older students, instructors, and even several of the lesser ranking nobility. They stared down at the gathering below them dissecting the new students with their eyes to seek out those with potential and those who were nothing more than prey.
The new students were pieces at an exhibit to be judged and critiqued by those who had already earned their places in the social order. Or those born into the right families, but no one really liked to talk about nepotism all that much. The new students who succeeded and caught the eyes of those in the higher tiers of the food chain would advance through the ranks. Those who failed would be discarded and left to the tender mercies of everyone else.
A small part of her was secretly glad that Shirou as her apprentice was not an official member of the Mage's Association and thus didn't have to attend this ceremony that was more akin to a den of vultures. The boy with his open sincerity and heart of gold was rather hopeless at these types of things.
With a hidden smirk Rin turned away from the balconies. Between her perfect student facade, work ethic, and natural genius Rin would make sure that by the time her education was finished she would be standing at the top as one of the best students ever produced by the Clock Tower.
There was absolutely no way that her master plan could possibly fail!
"Ho ho ho ho" came out a haughty feminine laugh from nearby causing Rin to turn as she instinctively sensed a rival predator in the area. Centuries of social instinct engraved in the genetic code of the female gender took over and all higher thought processes were immediately turned off as the fight of flight compulsion took hold.
Rin found herself staring into the eyes of a frilly dressed blond women with hair curled into several long drills. The young women's red eyes turned to stare back at Rin with a glint as the age old fight for dominance between rival predators began anew.
Only one could remain standing at the apex of the food chain.
It was precisely around this moment that the main balcony that had once been empty was occupied by eleven of the twelve high lords of the clock tower. Taking the lead was, Lorelei Barthomeloi, the queen of the Clock Tower herself.
And it was also precisely around this moment that a series of explosions from elsewhere in the Clock Tower shook the room providing all the excuses anyone could ever need.
From there the first of many spells and curses started flying…