When Shirou slept, his dreams usually fell into one of four categories; swords, lots of fire, more swords, or even more fire. Sometimes cooking was involved.
Tonight the young man instead dreamt of a tireless black knight who fought on no matter how many limbs were lost, a vicious white beast that made even the mightiest of knights run in fear, and lastly a holy cup rumored to hold the power of miracles.
If there was ever an ill omen of the chaos that would be unleashed upon this day to haunt the world for all of eternity, then this was probably it.
Now if only his Saber senses would stop tingling…
With a start Shirou awoke and found himself staring straight into the red slitted eyes of his boss standing awkwardly above him with a rope. For a moment the only sound that could be heard was the breathing from Rin sleeping in the room next door.
"Oh, thats a relief, for a moment there I thought you were a girl" said Shirou glad that his Saber senses where wrong for once. A slightly uncomfortable silence ensued that even Shirou managed to notice.
"…I have to admit, that was definitely not the reaction I was going for here" said Zelretch as he took a single step back from the red haired boy laying on the bed.
"Really?" asked Shirou in confusion as he slowly sat up. Was he supposed to have a specific reaction? If this was some sort of post entrance exam then he had definitely not studied for it…
"Just to be clear, is there any reason in particular that you are fine with me standing over you but not a girl?" asked Zelretch gravely while keeping the rope at the ready "your answer may or may not affect your future employment and odds of survival under me."
With resignation Shirou concluded that this was a test after all. Oh well, he might as well go with the truth.
"A friend of mine told me that it is improper for a boy to sleep in the same room with a girl" said Shirou as if reciting the gospel "but he made it perfectly clear that it is fine for boys to sleep in the same room."
"Was this friend of yours by any chance a priest or a monk?" asked Zelretch as he slowly put the rope away in one of his sleeves.
"He's training to be a monk" said Shirou with a raised eye brow "how did you know?"
"No reason in particular" grumbled Zelretch while rolling his eyes. Now Shirou was just getting more confused. It almost sounded as if Zelretch didn't think that priests and monks could be trusted on matters of moral values. That was just silly.
The trick was figuring out if your priest was fake or not.
"If you say so…" said Shirou before turning to his alarm clock "…is there any reason you decided to show up here at three in the morning with a rope?"
"Yes, and I have greatly regretted that reason ever since you woke up" answered Zelretch rubbing his temples as if to stave off a headache "I came to… take your measurements using the rope. Custodial uniforms don't grow from trees you know."
To Shirou Emiya who had thought that forcefully stripping the student council president to check for command seals was perfectly reasonable, this made a lot more sense than it probably should have. Or perhaps it was just the early hours of the morning. Either way, Shirou found himself awed at the idea that his boss could have such a high work ethic. The willingness to wake up at such an early hour just to avoid interfering with Shirou's classes and work hours was a stark contrast to Rin and his guardian Fuji-nee. In fact, a large part of him couldn't believe that he had finally met someone with similar work standards….
And for that reason Shirou Emiya would never be unsure of the man's intentions ever again.
"I can send you my measurements later today if you prefer" said Shirou with a smile as an idea came to mind "since you went through all of this trouble just for me how about I offer you an early breakfast."
"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude…" the vampire replied with a bemused look.
"Nonsense, it would be an insult to my pride if I failed to live up to my Japanese heritage as an excellent host" said Shirou with a small smile on his face.
"In that case what did you have in mind?" asked Zelretch as he followed Shirou out of the room and into the kitchen.
"I was thinking about doing a stir fry soup so that I could have the leftovers for lunch later today" said Shirou with a slight grimace as he recalled yesterdays lunch at the Clock Tower. He would definitely have to do something about that sometime later "by the way would you prefer your beef medium or rare?"
"Hm…" mused Zelretch as he considered his options "I wouldn't want to be cliche so lets go with extra crispy today."
"…Medium it is then" replied Shirou as he got to work on preparing the vegetables and started forming mini meatballs from the beef.
"I have to admit that you certainly don't seem like the traditional type of magus that would even bother to study at the Clock Tower" said Zelretch as he took a seat at the table "is there any reason other than your girlfriend that you decided to?"
"Honestly, I wasn't really interested and only came because Rin had already put a lot of effort into making it so that I could attend as her apprentice" said Shirou as he adjusted the pressure cooker before turning back to face Zelretch as an unyielding steel like determination entered his eyes "however, even if only a single day has passed, I have come to realize that this was definitely the right choice. Thanks to you I have gained a great deal of experience on my path to becoming a hero of justice by facing the abominations that threaten mankind. I even learned some valuable tips on close quarters combat. A lot of things that I didn't understood before have suddenly started to make a lot of sense."
"…For some reason my pride is feeling a little bruised right now" said Zelretch as he stared at the boy with slumped shoulders "…and what exactly was it that fighting a bunch of eldritch abominations helped you understand?"
"I recently read some historical articles about the legendary hero Gilgamesh of Uruk" said Shirou as he continued his cooking "apparently he specialized at Sumerian wrestling going so far as to kill gods with his prowess in the art. I thought that this was odd as it didn't seem to fit into his usual tactics of raining swords. But if Sumerian wrestling is actually a form of CQC that has no rules then everything make a bit more sense."
"Actually, swords had nothing to do with Sumerian wrestling" said Zelretch as he leaned back in his chair "its just that Gilgamesh was so good at wrestling that he could kill anything up to and including gods in a single blow. He started using weapons because he got bored of winning all the time and wanted his enemies to at least have a chance of beating him."
"Huh, really? Thats actually pretty terrifying" admitted Shirou with a shiver as he placed a pot of soup on the table along with scrambled eggs and toast "anyways, breakfast is finished."
Shirou went back and brought out some silver wear along with several bowels.
"I have to admit that this definitely exceeds what I had expected from you" said Zelretch as he took a spoonful of the stir fry "you definitely weren't lying when you claimed that you where skilled at cooking. I'm even willing to go so far as to rate this as a six out of ten."
"…Rin and I like to hold cooking contests once every weak where we each try mastering a new dish. The two of us are almost evenly matched and I'm hoping that this dish will help break our tie. With this onion, basil, and beef broth I think that this might just do it" said Shirou as he took his own seat at the table "but I have to say that the secret ingredient that defiantly brings out the dishes potential is the garlic"
"Garlic?" asked the vampire of his minion "…did our bonds forged in the heat of battle really mean so little to you?"
"Huh?" asked Shirou innocently as he blinked in confusion "I have no idea what you are talking about."