"Meow, meow, meow!!!"
"I'LL KILL THAT HUMAN BRAT!!!"
The black cat Yoruichi thrashed wildly, claws swiping furiously. She wanted nothing more than to shred that damned human to pieces.
Her! A pure maiden of centuries—suddenly saddled with a so-called "man"?
Urahara and Tessai weren't even angry anymore.
The only reason they restrained Yoruichi was to see just how deep a hole Cole would keep digging for himself.
"Yoruichi-taicho's… man!?"
The Second Division shinigami could only stare, stupefied.
He had lived over three centuries. He had witnessed the age of Shihōin Yoruichi with his own eyes.
Never could he have imagined that the noble, willful, beautiful, and overwhelmingly powerful Lady Yoruichi… would fall for some human shinigami.
"Yes!"
Cole sighed theatrically, face dark with feigned melancholy. "When I was in Soul Society, my handsome looks caught her eye. She pursued me relentlessly."
"MEOW!!!"
Yoruichi's screech was so piercing that even Ururu couldn't hold her back—Urahara and Tessai both had to pin her down.
They honestly wanted to see just how outrageous Cole's story could get.
"But I knew my humble station. How could someone like me dare to dream of standing at Yoruichi-dono's side?" Cole lamented.
The Second Division officer nodded grimly. It made sense.
The Shihōin clan was one of the Five Great Noble Houses. Yoruichi herself was once the Second Division Captain—commanding the entire Onmitsukido as her personal army.
She was a woman who shook all of Seireitei with a single command.
For an ordinary soul reaper, to even think of marrying her was unthinkable.
"So I fled to the World of the Living, to escape her pursuit." Cole clenched his fist in mock anguish. "But I never imagined… her love would be so overwhelming. She cast everything aside, even her form—turning into a black cat to continue chasing me."
"Her passion was too much. I couldn't bear it. That's why I took this shinigami woman as my wife—hoping to finally make Yoruichi give up."
"MEOW!!!!"
A black blur shot forward at impossible speed, slamming into Cole. Yoruichi clawed viciously at his face.
"Brat!! I'LL KILL YOU!! How dare you spout such lies! Who would ever chase you!? I was a captain before you were even born!!"
Cole hastily caught her paws, blinking in surprise at her strength.
Wait… her claws aren't any stronger than a normal cat's?
Meanwhile, Rukia stood frozen, utterly forgetting to break free.
She had been completely rattled by Cole's audacity.
Three captains. He had dragged three captains' names into his nonsense.
Ichigo and Ishida both gawked.
"Th-that cat… talked!?"
Cole's face was bleeding from fresh scratches. With a huff, he pulled a prized treat from his pocket and shoved it into Yoruichi's mouth.
"Meow?"
Yoruichi blinked in shock. She wanted to spit it out—but the flavor was too good.
Moments later, she slumped happily in his arms, purring and nuzzling against him, licking his fingers like a spoiled kitten.
The Second Division officer was dumbstruck.
If not for the crushing reiatsu radiating from that little cat, he would never have believed this was once the proud, untouchable Shihoin Yoruichi.
Could… the brat actually be telling the truth…?
Another thought struck him like a hammer.
If Captain Soi Fon hears of this, she'll go berserk—she might storm the Living World herself.
"Don't be fooled. He's spouting nothing but lies."
The officer stiffened at the voice behind him. He spun—and gasped again.
"Urahara-taicho! Tessai-dono!"
Before him stood Urahara Kisuke, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu.
Urahara sighed helplessly. "That brat is just an ordinary human. He was never a Seireitei shinigami, nor is he our disciple. We've barely even met."
Tessai growled quickly. "He's not my student either! I've never taught him a single kido. He can't even cast one spell!"
The officer's face twisted.
He glanced back at the black cat still nestled blissfully in Cole's arms. The words sounded right… but the image screamed otherwise.
Urahara rubbed his forehead. He, the eternal schemer, had finally tasted what it was like to be outplayed.
Even Tessai felt the sting of humiliation.
After several minutes, the Second Division officer steadied himself. His eyes narrowed as he pointed at Rukia.
"Then… if that boy isn't your disciple… can I bring her back to Seireitei?"
Urahara forced a smile. "Of course. We won't interfere. After all, she isn't connected to us."
The officer exhaled slowly. With the assurance of captain-class figures, he could trust it.
So long as Yoruichi, Urahara, Tessai, and their shop crew stayed out, he had confidence—even against a human shinigami, a Quincy, and another rogue.
His grip tightened on his zanpakuto.
He turned his gaze toward Cole, raising the blade.
Cole calmly set the purring cat into Ururu's arms. His hand pressed to his chest, voice low and sharp.
"If I were you… I wouldn't."
Before the man could react—
Cole's hand swept outward.
An eighty-meter blade of light erupted from his body.
"BOOM!!!"
...…
...
(End of Chapter)
[Check Out My P@treon For 20+ Extra Chapters On All My Fanfics!!] [[email protected]/Draumel]
[Thank You For Your Support!]