Livia searched my eyes and shook her hands a bit before gulping.
"O-okay, I'll do it. Leo, here, let me help you."
She moved her body in front of me and placed her hands around my waist. Livia was trying to keep a neutral face but she couldn't hide the shy smile forming on her face.
The shame I had been pushing deep down inside me finally emerged when her hands started to take off my pants.
It was one thing to be ashamed of having my crotch stained with blood in a place as fucked up as this. But it was another thing to be ashamed of having to expose my "mess" in front of two girls.
'Ugh, earth swallow me up and let me rot there.'
My ears were hot and it wasn't exactly from the temperature of the place. The pain I had been feeling and the fatigue were being covered up by embarrassment.
I couldn't even look Livia in the eyes at that moment. She was taking her sweet time taking off the stupid jeans. Either she was really clumsy now or she was doing it on purpose.
'I don't even need to read her mind to know that she's having fun with this.'
"Livia," I whispered, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.
She immediately froze, and the clumsy smile that she was holding faded a bit, being replaced by a guilty expression.
"S-sorry," she muttered, realizing that she had been discovered.
She finally took them off, and my boxers were finally visible. They were stained with blood.
I also saw for the first time my naked legs since I became a woman. They were different from what I was expecting.
My body had always been lean, and I liked it that way, it helped me move and fight, perfect for the physical gigs I used to do.
I always trained to have a strong resistant body. One of the things I always took pride in was my legs, my muscles were visible and running was probably the thing that I did the most. Especially back when I worked as a bodyguard.
I already knew my body was different. I had already come to terms with my soft skin, I had already gotten used to my medium-length hair, I had even ignored the breasts that had grown on me.
But when I looked at my legs, one of the few things that had helped me stay alive for most, if not all, of my life so changed, it felt different, utterly alien.
The muscles were still there, but less pronounced; my thighs were much thicker, and I had more fat. And I didn't have a single hair on them, they were too feminine for my taste.
Livia finally finished pulling the pants off, exposing my boxers, which were stained with blood.
"D-don't look," I muttered.
I instinctively tried to move my legs to cover myself, but I stopped when I heard the sound of cloth being torn. I followed the sound to my side and found Milaine.
She was tearing apart the rest of the hoodie she had left. She broke the cloth into small rectangles and placed them over the tablecloth. Her mental voice arrived again.
Ready, now let's go with the cleaning.
When she moved one of the rectangles to her hand, a white flame enveloped the piece of cloth. I witnessed how the dirt and some other particles that were on it evaporated instantly.
'She can do that too?'
After she finished repeating the process with all the pieces of clothing, she handed me a few, then gave some to Livia and put the rest in her pants pocket.
"Those are made of cotton. They should work as a replacement, but you'll have to change them after a couple of hours," Milaine said.
"Are you really sure they are safe, Milaine?" Livia asked.
Well of course. It's not the first time that I have to use this method. It's a problem that was going to show up in a couple of weeks anyway.
"Yes, I'm sure, the cotton is clean and will help stop the bleeding," Milaine said.
She then shifted her gaze between Livia, who was still in front of me and was storing the tampons, and me.
"How are you doing with the pain? Can you do it yourself or do you need help?" Milaine asked with a neutral face.
I looked at the improvised tampons in my hand, I didn't really know how to use them. Guessing was easy, but actually knowing what to do was another story.
'Shit, what do I do? Do I ask them for help? I could really use the pain as an excuse to cover up the fact that this is my first time.'
Milaine's gaze sharpened slightly.
She looks stressed. We should give her some space. Yeah, that would be the best, I hope Livia doesn't freak out, should I pull her away or should I just try convincing her? Ugh, why does everything always have to be so difficult? I'm exhausted...
As I was debating whether or not to ask for help, Milaine's voice served as a reminder of an unpleasant fact, which I had almost forgotten.
'Right, I'm being a burden now. Is this also adversity? Of course it is.'
From the moment I read the description of my real name when I was with Violet, many past events throughout my life began to make sense.
I suddenly understood the reason my father died from a gunshot to the head when I was a baby. The reason my mom was beaten to death trying to defend me from my stepfather.
I always thought I had bad luck, but I didn't. It was worse. I was worse, I didn't have bad luck. I was the bad luck. I attracted bad things. I attracted adversity.
I opened my status window and just read my flaw again. The thing that defined me.
[Adversity]
You will have a hard life until the end of your days. You have a tendency for extremely improbable and absurd bad things to happen to you. The more deadly situations you survive, the more dangerous situations you'll come across.
—
I started to feel a lump in my throat, my emotions weren't helping, and remembering the past was only messing me up. I looked at my bloody hand and clenched it into a fist.
'Tch, fuck it. I can do this. I've caused enough trouble already.'
I took a deep breath and faced the girls.
"I'm fine, I can do it by myself," I said.
They might not know it, but me being there was probably the reason why things were difficult in the first place. The girls were tired and I was not going to be dead weight.
"Are you sure? I can help if you nee—" Livia was interrupted.
"Let's give her some privacy, Olivia," Milaine said before nodding and placing her hand on Olivia's shoulder.
Livia shook herself a little and then moved her hands to her knees. She gave me a worried and slightly sad look. Her big blue eyes only made her look cuter, like a puppy.
"I-If this is because of the pants, then I'm s—" she muttered before I interrupted her.
"No, Livia. Don't worry about that. Really, I'm fine. I can do this. You girls already helped me, get some rest while I take care of this."
She gave me a soft nod and stood up. Milaine also released her hand from her shoulder.
"We will be over there, call when you are done. And give me your, em, 'underwear' when you finish. I'll clean the blood with my flame," Milaine said.
She then turned around and began walking with Livia to another section of the cave, not far from where I was.
Since Milaine was one of the few sources of light, the cave dimmed as she walked away.
Livia gave me several occasional glances as she finally walked away with Milaine. I could guess that she wanted to be here helping me. Either that or she wanted to see me naked.
I smiled at the silly thought.
"Sorry, Livia, maybe next time."
Then I redirected my attention to my lower body. I started by casting the sigil. It was time for the pain to go away.
I used my right hand to repeat the spell sequence, only this time I pointed it toward the lower part of my stomach.
Small purple threads formed from my finger, and the tattoo on my left arm, the one that looked like a witch, glowed a little, then a purple flame formed inside what I assumed was my uterus, as the pain finally went away.
[The spell Sigil is transforming your pain into Essentia...]
The next thing I did was take off my boxers and leave them to one side. Then I cut a piece of the torn tablecloth that was left and placed it in front of me.
Again, I repeated the sequence of the Sigil and cast the spell one more time. This time, on the piece of fabric, which served me as lighting.
I moved my legs a little and lowered my head, bringing my hand down towards my crotch.
"God… it feels so weird. My member is really gone."
I moved my hand a little on the new organ, trying to understand it better. I wasn't a virgin, but it was one thing to play with a girl and quite another to be one.
I was guided by the place where the blood was coming out, the second hole further down. I used my hands to softly insert the improvised tampon into the hole.
It took me a while, but after a couple of tries, I succeeded.
"Ha, done. It wasn't that hard."
I quickly wiped away some of the remaining blood with another piece of the tablecloth, which quickly became stained with it too.
As I pulled up my boxers and put on my pants another thought came to my mind.
'How exactly did I become a woman? How did the old man manage it? Did he use witchcraft or a gift from some god? I guess that's another question I'll have to ask Violet.'
When I finished dressing I leaned against the wall, although I didn't feel pain now, I really felt exhausted.
'Okay, I should call the girls now... Hmm, maybe a bit later, I want to get my thoughts in order first.'
I looked at the books and what was left of the tablecloth, which was now a torn rag that could no longer wrap around the books.
'How am I supposed to carry these books now? And what will happen to Violet and the other witch if something happens to them?'
I moved my hands toward the small old rag, and for some reason, I felt sad. It was just an old tablecloth I found in an abandoned house, a simple object that had served its purpose.
However, I was really sad to see it destroyed and stained with blood. Maybe it was my hormones, or maybe I was really going crazy.
'I wonder if the old man managed to find you too... twenty years... twenty years to return to earth...'
I gave a small bitter smile and exhaled.
I wiped the tears that were forming in my eyes with my hand and looked back at the little rag.
'You were also affected by my adversity, I'm sorry. It was my fault.'
I took a small breath and looked up at the red sky above me, I could hear the mucus in my nose as I did so.
I couldn't hold back the tears any longer and I pressed the little rag against my chest.
'I wonder if all of this is also my fault.'
And with that thought in mind, I completely forgot to call the girls back.
***