After seeing the sudden change of light in the cave, I had decided to approach the girls.
Although my instinct hadn't physically alerted me to any specific threat, I was worried anyway. The light was too bright to be ignored
Besides, I felt embarrassed about wasting time crying while the rest had to wait for me.
I put the torn pieces of the tablecloth in my pants pockets, I wasn't going to throw them away, I refused to do that.
I had no logical reason to keep them, but I felt a bit better when I imagined that I could fix it at some point, even if it might not be true.
I took the books and stood up, I placed them one on top of the other to make them easier to carry, and on top of these I put the boxer.
Finally I walked towards the light.
"What's going on?" I asked.
The blonde girl who now had completely silver and shining hair again lifted her gaze, she had been covering her eyes with her hands.
"You're glowing... Is everything okay?" I asked worriedly.
"Ah, yes... sorry, I was just thinking..." Milaine said.
I noticed how she tried to put on a neutral face, but it was pretty obvious she was troubled by something. And I didn't think she was glowing for nothing.
'Thinking? About what? I'm not hearing anything'
It was true, despite having her in front of me looking at me, I couldn't hear her thoughts.
I checked my Essentia to be sure.
[Your current Essentia is 1006]
'I still have, then why? If it's not an Essentia problem, then...'
[Due to the level difference, the Legemens spell is not working]
I slightly moved my eyes to the small message that had appeared for a second and thought to myself.
'Eh? Why now? It worked before? I don't understand, I have to ask Violet.'
I moved my index finger subtly and decided to turn off the spell, there was no point having it active if it couldn't fulfill its function.
Besides, I really didn't have the mental capacity to be dealing with more thoughts apart from my own, at least not now.
"Leo, how do you feel? Are you okay? Your eyes are red..." Livia asked.
I moved my head a bit and found her. She was sitting next to Milaine, separated by a bit of distance.
I hadn't noticed her because of the sudden light from the other girl, which was now finally decreasing in intensity.
"Me? Yes... I'm fine..." I said.
I had no plans to tell them I was crying. I simply wiped my eyes a bit and tried to sound casual by giving a small excuse.
"It's the dirt from this place, I think I got some in my eyes, that's all," I said, faking a slight smile.
I noticed how Livia's blue eyes blinked momentarily and changed color to golden for just a second before returning to their normal color.
I felt a small chill, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
'What was that?'
Livia didn't seem convinced by my lie since she pouted and looked at me with fake anger.
I smiled a bit at the cute gesture and sat down in the free space between the middle of the two girls.
I fit perfectly, covering all the space without being squeezed. It almost seemed like it had left it free on purpose.
I left the books in the open space I created when I extended my legs, which now touched both girls' legs.
"Let me borrow this for a moment," Milaine said.
She took the stained boxer and used her flame to clean it.
She managed to 'burn' the blood and dirt that was on them in a couple of seconds.
'Now that I think about it... maybe I could do that with the Sigil... I'll keep that in mind for next time.'
"Thanks," I told her as I received the boxer with a small involuntary smile.
I put the garment in my pocket along with what was left of the tablecloth.
"Hmph... Leo..." Livia called me again.
She had already intertwined her arm with mine and was looking at me with a pout and a slightly judgmental look, as if I had done something wrong.
"Eh? Something wrong?" I asked.
She rested her head on my shoulder before letting out a sigh.
"No... nothing... it's just... it's not right to lie..." she whispered barely audibly.
'I guess...'
I just nodded, the three of us stood there in silence, the only sound was the bubbling of small pools of lava in the distance.
I made no effort to separate Livia from me, instead I took advantage to intertwine my hand with hers.
It was strange how in such a short time I had managed to connect with that girl so deeply.
However, very deep inside me, I knew something wasn't quite right. There was something that worried me.
Adversity.
I lifted my gaze a bit towards a distant direction of the cave.
'Didn't I break up with Emilie for the same reason?'
Before receiving the message from my future self, I had broken up with Emilie, my girlfriend of several years.
Although she was from a well-off family and I barely had a place to fall dead, we managed to meet because I worked for her brother, and my best friend, Luke.
Somehow, we ended up dating despite being opposites poles.
However, after I was expelled from service, things really got ugly for me.
After 'the incident' a lot of shit was said about me, and not even Luke trusted my word, I couldn't return to my job as a bodyguard. And getting something similar with my studies was fucked.
Nevertheless, Emilie kept dating me despite everything, she never stopped trusting me. She never gave up with me.
In the end I found some options that didn't require studies and that were perfect for the type of profile I was. The problem was that it was illegal shit, and the job was no longer protecting a person, but the opposite.
It worked, I was good at it, I had the height, I had the strength and no matter how fucked up it was I always came out alive one way or another.
I never told her what my new job consisted of, much less what type of people I worked for. But I'm sure she already knew.
The problem was when some of my 'coworkers' discovered Emilie's last name and that she was my girlfriend.
I wasn't an especially pleasant or kind guy. I was a... I am a bad person. And some people always want to get even, especially from people they dislike.
I didn't think much about it, and decided to break up with Emilie.
Back then I didn't know that I 'attracted adversity', I simply knew that things were going to get ugly for her if she stayed with me.
And she didn't deserve that.
It was then, the day I broke up with her, that I met my future self on the way back home.
And also, the day Earth ended.
I glanced at Livia's head that was still resting on my shoulder.
Olivia reminded me a lot of her, not physically, but the attitude was similar. Maybe that's why I liked her so much, because she reminded me of her.
I let out a tired sigh and forced a bitter smile when I saw Emilie's image superimposed over Livia's.
'What a piece of shit I am...'
I closed my eyes tightly as I tried not to think about anything. But guilt only created an image in my mind.
The image of Emilie crying, the image of what her last moments must have been before the meteorites hit.
I shook my head, and opened my eyes, closing them wasn't helping. I needed to think about something else.
Anything.
After a heavy inhalation and exhalation, I forced a smile and spoke.
"So? What were you talking about?" I asked.
Silence.
I noticed how Livia's grip hardened a bit, then she lifted her head from my shoulder a bit to look at Milaine.
When I followed her gaze, I also noticed that Milaine had become rigid, paler than she already was.
It took her a couple of seconds but she finally also turned to look at Livia.
I felt a brief shock from what I assumed was my instinct.
'What the fuck? What's wrong with this sudden tension?'
The two looked at each other for a few seconds without saying anything, but in the end it was Livia who spoke first.
"Um, Milaine... she was asking me about my Gift."
Another small chill.
'Ah, right. There was also that... with the shitty goddess who was obsessed with Livia.'
Momentarily I looked towards a particular direction of the cave, where the sandworm's corpse was and where we had survived the encounter with the Moderator.
'They almost killed us for that...'
Then I turned my gaze towards Milaine, for a moment I felt anger towards her, since she had pressured us to accept a Gift, but the anger went away almost instantly.
I couldn't blame her for that, she was partly right, you can't survive without a Gift, and I was sure that she didn't know the cost of having a gift. Only I knew.
Also I had my instinct, witchcraft and the warning from my future self.
Milaine had that flame that allowed her to heal and even regenerate body parts. Not to mention she could explode or whatever she did with the sandworm.
But Livia didn't have any of that, she was a normal girl. Not only that, she didn't have the physique nor the mental strength to survive a place like this.
'Really the only thing Livia has is that she's smart...'
After thinking about that, I felt my expression soften. There was no point in being angry with Milaine.
Besides, I didn't consider her a stranger anymore, not after everything that happened.
"I see... and how is it then?" I asked as I returned my gaze to Livia.
"Well, actually..."
After that Livia started to share the information about what her "Gifts" did.
For some reason, I felt very uncomfortable.
My instinct also accompanied me on this occasion, something behind the simple explanation Livia was giving had awakened it.
She had started explaining the first of her gifts with slight enthusiasm, while searching for my eyes.
I tried to smile, but my instinct only sent me stabs as she continued, each second felt worse than the previous one.
To such an extent that in the middle of the explanation of the second Gift, I hadn't realized that I had involuntarily separated my arm from Livia's.
"Leo?" she asked me.
"Ah, yes, sorry... I got a bit itchy, please continue Livia."
I felt another chill.
Then I noticed how her eyes changed color again for a second, and she made a small grimace of pain, but said nothing and didn't force me to join our arms again.
'That color change in her eyes... it's because she's seeing if I'm lying, right? Shit...'
I took advantage of the physical contact that was still maintained by our legs and cast Legemens on her.
[Due to the level difference, the Legemens spell is not working]
'Come on! Really?!'
Before I could keep complaining, Milaine spoke.
"She can also see status windows, which will be useful if we encounter other survivors," Milaine added.
Before processing those words, I felt another chill, this time it was quite clear, almost all the stabs had concentrated on the right side of my body. Where Livia was sitting.
My brain ignored the second part of what Milaine said, and only focused on the first.
'Wait, really? That's even better than what Legemens does when people read their screen... eh, wait, she didn't see my window, did she?'
I looked at Livia again, her eyes were blue, she looked worried trying to avoid my eyes.
'Y-you didn't see it, did you Livia?'
The gesture that would have seemed cute to me before, now made me uncomfortable.
I felt a small knot in my throat, I felt exposed.
I didn't know if Olivia had seen my status window, I didn't know if she had the description of Legemens already, my flaw or worse my true name.
'Fuck, I want to die.'
"I-I see..." I murmured.
This time I was the one who avoided Livia's eyes, and tried involuntarily to take some distance. I faked indifference, but the truth was that I was scared shitless.
Now, I was the one hiding in my head.
'What if she finds out I've been reading her mind all this time... what will she think when she reads my flaw... or worse my true name? Will she... blame me for everything? Shit, if she tells Milaine, won't they try to kill me?'
After a couple of seconds, Livia continued with a noticeably worse mood in the tone of her voice, explaining what the third of her Gifts did.
When I heard the mention of an ancient witch in the examples of what the description offered, for a moment I thought of Violet.
'It can't be that, right? No wait, goddess of fate... shit, I don't know what to think, I need to ask Violet.'
For the first time having Livia near me, didn't make me feel good. And I didn't know why being near her was making me angry.
After she finished explaining, she clasped her hands together and looked down. Her hair was covering her face and I couldn't see her.
But I was sure of something, she was laughing.
'Fuck, fuck, fuck, why is she laughing?'
For a moment, I didn't know what to do.
I looked at Milaine for advice, but she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts by the way she was looking at her own hands.
I didn't know whether to speak, I didn't know whether to try to get Essentia by burning something to be able to read Livia's thoughts, I didn't know whether to run, or if I should pretend like nothing was happening.
My instinct was telling me danger, my mind was telling me guilt and shame, and the sudden anger was becoming rage.
Rage towards Olivia.
It was then that a sudden notification appeared in front of me, stealing my attention for a second.
[The goddess who doesn't believe in friendship sent you a private message. Do you wish to read Y/N]
'Tcht, not now stupid bitch.'
I tried to hit the 'No' button, but I failed thanks to the tremors I was feeling throughout my body. I accidentally hit yes.
[What's wrong with you? Why are you being mean to her? I don't understand you]
'Mean? Me? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!'
When I had finished thinking of the insults I was going to tell the voyeur, and deigned to look for some button to respond, I noticed a small notification that had infiltrated.
It was so small and in such an atypical place that it seemed like it was hiding on purpose.
[You are being affected by Undetermined]
'What? That thing again...'
This time I looked at my status screen, where my instinct should be, and noticed something strange.
[Sense of Danger is being affected by Undetermined]
Something was affecting my instinct.
'What the fuck is this?'
I was brought back to reality by the sound of quiet sobbing.
When I turned to see the source of the sound, I noticed Livia.
She wasn't laughing.
I felt a stab in the heart.I knew something was wrong with me at that moment. So this time I decided to do something I had never done.
I decided to go against my instinct.
I used the Sigil to burn the chills and tremors I was feeling. For a moment my whole body glowed purple, as I was covered in a flame.
I moved my hand gently towards Livia's face. I lifted the hair that was covering her face.
When I saw her face, I confirmed the obvious.
She was crying.
I cleaned her eyes a bit with my other hand, and caressed her cheek.
"Hey Liv," I called her.
She moved her face, her eyes were golden, and when they met mine they became blue again. She made a small grimace trying to contain the tears.
"L-Leo, I-If I-I s-said s-someth-" she stuttered.
I hugged her. She buried her face against my breast and started crying. I held her close to me while erasing my shame, and the newly emerged anger I was feeling.
Whether this really was something bad or not, I didn't know. But I did know one thing.
I was making Livia cry, and that was my fault.
***