"School rooftops in Japan look more romantic than here... It's more full of love there than here."
"Yeah..." tanging tugon na lang ni Ren nang marinig nito ang komento ni Skye, dahilan para maalala niya naman na muntikan na silang mag-away ni Damien dahil sa nalaman nitong issue patungkol sa kanilang relasyon noon. Ngunit agad ding napaangat ng ulo ang ginoo kasabay ng pagtingin nito muli kay Skye nang may mapagtanto ito. "Wait... How did you know?"
"Huh?" nanlaki naman ang mata ni Skye nang mapagtanto niya na nadulas pala siya sa sinabi niya. Oh shoot... I fucked up. "W-What do you mean?"
Oh... how would he know?
"Nevermind, you didn't even come back to see me," komento naman ni Ren. "How would you know about my life there?"
"Yeah," tugon naman ni Skye kasabay ng pagngiti nito. "So, tell me more."
"Hey! I thought you're the one who should be telling stories here?" pagrereklamo naman ni Ren habang ito ay nakasimagot kay Skye.
"Well, give me a break for a minute! Let me enjoy my sandwich, okay?" katwiran naman ni Skye habang ito ay bahagyang nakangiti. "Come on, I wanna hear it."
"Well... it was unexpected but... the first time that I met him was in this gallery in Tokyo. It was full of his works, a true creation of an artist, as he adored his muse. He was kinda grumpy but I assure you, he's the sweetest—why am I telling this to you?" pagrereklamo muli ni Ren nang makita naman nito na hindi naman talaga nakikinig si Skye at halip ay focus lang ito sa kinakain nitong sandwich. "You hate listening to other people's life stories."
"Yup," pagsang-ayon naman ni Skye dahilan para mapa-rolyo naman pataas ang mata ni Ren dahil sa inis. Maya-maya lang ay agad na napatayo si Skye kasabay ng pag-alis nito ng mga alikabok sa kaniyang suot na pants. "By the way, you're now too poetic with your words when it comes to your photographer boyfriend, good for you."
"What?" How did he know? I'm seriously confused right now. "Come again? I didn't catch that."
"I mean, you're good with your words when you describe something that you really love. I didn't know that you will become this vocal when you fell in love again," wika pa ni Skye kasabay naman ng pag-uunat nito. "I feel kinda... jealous... you never did that when you were with me..." pagbulong naman ni Skye na siyang hindi naman narinig ni Ren dahilan para mapatingin naman siya muli rito. Kitang-kita niya ang nangungusap nitong mga mata habang nakatingala sa kaniya, he's still the same angel that he used to worship before. "Come on, let's go somewhere."
"Ugh~ Again? Do we have to walk?" pagtatanong naman ni Ren na akala mo ay bata na pagod na pagod nang maglakad. "I'm so tired already."
"Oh, come on, don't be like that," pamimilit naman ni Skye kasabay ng paghawak nito sa braso ni Ren upang alalayan na itong tumayo. "You used to walk from here to Chinatown."
"That's when I was a teen," katwiran naman ni Ren atsaka na ito tumayo nang tuluyan at nag unat-unat din. "My joints are already cracking."
"You're still a baby for me," pang-aasar naman ni Skye kasabay ng paghila nito sa ginoo pababa ng red step. At habang sila ay bumaba, agad niya naman itong inakbayan na akala mo ay magtropa lang ang kanilang turingan. "I think you can still crawl from 47th street all the way back to our apartment."
"Hey! That was before! I was injured!"
"Hahahahaha! You look so—what was that word you taught me before? Kawa... wa? You look so kawawa! That was so hilarious, it was a core memory."
He still laughs like a kid... It feels like the first time that I hear it.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
"Seriously? The Morgan Library and Museum?"
Kasalukuyan silang nasa tapat ngayon ng isang pribadong establisyemento na dati nilang tinatambayan noon pag wala na silang magawa sa kanilang apartment. They used to read random books, adore some paintings and other collections, and they used to study here since they were both dropouts from school. Hindi pa rin ito nagbabago, mukha pa rin itong boring sa panlabas pero napakaraming nakakamangha sa loob.
"What? You don't like books anymore?" Pagtatanong naman ni Skye kasabay ng pagngiti nito sa ginoo na akala mo nang-aasar ito.
"It's not like that, but it feels like we don't have enough time—"
"Come on! Just a few," wika naman agad ni Skye kasabay ng paghawak nito sa kamay ng binata, atsaka niya naman ito hinila papasok sa loob ng library. Wala nang nagawa si Ren kundi ang pagbigyan ito kahit na alam niyang umiiwas lang ito sa pagbibigay ng mga sagot kung bakit siya iniwan noon. "I missed reading here with you."
Missed it... with me... Hah...
"Fine..."
Napangiti naman si Skye nang marinig nito ang pagpayag ni Ren kaya agad niya rin itong hinila papunta sa isang reading area. Iniwan niya muna rito saglit ang ginoo upang kumuha ng iilang mga libro at maya-maya lang ay bumalik din ito. Muntikan nang makalimutan ni Ren na mahilig nga palang magbasa rito ni Skye dahil sa private library ito. Wala masyadong tao at napakatahimik lang ng lugar na ito na halos pwede mo nang marinig ang bawat pag hinga nito. Skye used to love conducting some research about politics, social sciences, medicines, and more. Wala man sa kaniyang mukha ang pagiging matalino, katulad na lamang nung mga napapanood niyo sa pelikula, pero napakatalino niya talaga. Imagine at a very young age, syndicates and other politicians were after him because of his research about something deadly.
Hindi na naiwasan ni Ren na mapatitig nang sobra kay Ren habang pinapanood niya itong magsulat ng mga notes mula sa isang libro. Ano naman kaya ang sinusulat nito? Another topic for further research? How about space? I thought he likes the universe? Chemical formula kaya? Math problems? Hindi ko pa rin mabasa ang kaniyang mga iniisip hanggang ngayon.
"Such a nerd~" pang-aasar naman ni Ren kasabay ng pagbungisngis nito. Ngnit, nang makita nito na seryoso pa rin si Skye sa kaniyang ginagawa at napapalumbaba na lang ang ginoo sa lamesa habang tinititigan pa rin ang sinusulat nito. "What are you writing?"
"My other scheme? You know grew up like a madman," tugon naman ni Skye habang patuloy pa rin ito sa pagsusulat. "Just like my dad."
"Yeah, what happened to him?" pagtatanong naman ni Ren habang ito ay nakangiti pa rin. "Did he change or something?"
"He's still an asshole, I can't still deal with him," seryosong pagsagot naman ni Skye sa tanong ni Ren. Napatingin naman si Skye kay Ren at nakita niya naman itong nakapalumbaba habang pinapanood siya. "If you're still sleepy, just take a nap for a bit."
"Oh, you noticed?" pagtatanong naman ni Ren kasabay ng paghikab nito bilang senyales na inaantok na ito.
"Yeah, you have a habit of smiling so creepily when you're sleepy," seryosong pagsagot muli ni Skye atsaka naman inayos ang buhok ni Ren. "Look at your hair, it's all frizzy."
"I'm fine, maybe it was because of my medicines for my anxiety, it's making me doze off everytime," paliwanag naman ng ginoo at pinilit naman nito na huwag matulog. Nakakatakot na, baka mawala na naman siya sa paningin ko. "I won't sleep, so go on... tell me more."
"My dad legally disowned me when I turned eighteen," pagpapatuloy naman ni Skye sa kaniyang pagku-kwento. "No more securities anymore, no more filthy money, I'm all alone."
"Oh... I see," Zyon whispered as his smile dropped when he heard his story. Paano niya kaya nakaya na mag-survive lalo na't wala na siya pinanghahawakan sa lahat? Tinapon na rin siya ng kaniyang mga magulang katulad din ng ginawa nila.
Now, I wonder what happened to my parents...
"About your parents..." agad na nabuhayaan nang loob si Ren nang marinig nito ang pagbanggit ni Skye patungkol sa kaniyang mga magulang. "They're doing fine with their newly restored family. They moved to Idaho, far from this city, in the countryside. You have a little sister now, Cos. She was such an angel just like you. She likes to play with their dogs on their farm. She also likes to play the guitar and such instruments like the piano... She's just adorable like you."
"Why are you telling me this?" pagtatanong naman ni Ren na tila ba'y lalong bumibigat ang loob nito habang naririnig ang mga ikinukwento ngayon ni Skye patungkol sa kaniyang pamilya.
"I knew that you still miss them. You can't pretend in front of me, you still love them despite of what they did to you," wika naman ni Skye habang seryoso lang itong nakatingin kay Ren. Hinaplos niya naman ang pisngi ng dating kasintahan nang makita niya na onti-onti nang bumabakas ang lungkot sa mukha nito. "Hey... I know that it hurts a lot... I'm here for you... you can vent it out on me."
Yeah, it hurts that they just forget about me... and it also hurts more when you're here offering yourself even though you can't.
"Ah... It's fine," komento naman ni Ren atsaka naman ito napangiti nang napakapait kasabay ng kaniyang paghawi sa kamay ng ginoo. "I already forgive them and I'm happy that they just move forward without me."
I hope we can too... Skye... I keep trying my best...
"Oh yeah, how's your previous research by the way?" pag-iiba naman ni Ren ng topic upang malihis ang kaniyang sakit na nararamdaman ngayon. Umiwas naman ito ng tingin kay Skye dahil alam niyang pipilitin lang siya nito na ilabas lahat ng kaniyang nararamdaman para mapagaan ang kaniyang loob. "The one that caused us so much trouble? Hahahahaha... I was so thrilled about it."
"Oh yeah, it's ruining someone's life now," diretsahang sagot naman ni Skye habang nakatingin pa rin ito sa kaniyang dating kasintahan na ngayon ay nakatingin sa ibang direksyon ng library. "Like how it always has to be... it was doing well..." pahina na nang pahina ang boses ni Skye kasabay ng pagyuko nito upang umiwas ng pagtingin kay Ren. "It was doing well... that it ruined us..."
"That's good... you're feeding your ambition."
Your ambition ruined us... you ruined me... It still hurts like a fresh wound and I still love it. I'm so screwed up because of you. I wanna let you go, but here I am with a "how to do it?" in my heart. I'm guilty as sin, falling from grace with you.
❀