"Kidney deficiency… sometimes it happens after excessive drinking… back pain, weak legs, drained energy, like your body's been hollowed out…"
"Is it kidney overload? Take XX Brand Kidney Tonic Pills! Replenish what you've lost!"
Drifting in darkness, Miyazawa Yuu kept hearing someone whispering shameless things right by his ear.
"My head… feels like it's going to split… who's talking?"
Mumbling to himself, his throat was unbearably dry. He rubbed his head and reached out for the water cup on his bedside—only to grab nothing.
And as the feeling beneath him grew clearer, he suddenly realized he wasn't lying on a warm bed at all. This cold, rough surface felt much more like… concrete!
"Who am I! Where am I! What happened?!"
Jolting up in shock, Miyazawa Yuu shouted out humanity's three greatest unsolved mysteries.
Sadly, no one answered. The three other naked men sprawled around him were still fast asleep, snoring away without a care.
"Is it already morning? I remember last night I…"
Squinting against the sunlight, Miyazawa Yuu forced his hungover brain to rewind the scenes of the night before.
He remembered stripping Iori, getting overexcited and bursting out of his clothes, then playing endless rounds of Naked Rock-Paper-Scissors with the upperclassmen.
He had won piles of their underwear, but in the end was overwhelmed and fell in battle before senior Ryuujirou.
Which meant—!
A sudden realization struck. Yuu instantly looked down.
Thankfully, his underwear was still intact. It seemed that by the time they all reached their last breath, everyone had drunk themselves unconscious, sparing both him and his underwear from separation.
"Ah—already eight-thirty! The freshman orientation's at nine! Damn it, just because I drank with them, I'm going to be late!"
Fishing his phone from his waistband, Yuu glanced at the time and stretched his stiff neck. His hearing was gradually coming back too.
But the kidney pill infomercial ringing in his ears didn't fade—it warped, twisted, then transformed into real voices.
"Ah! He woke up! The buff one woke up! Passing out drunk naked in front of the auditorium on the first day of school—what a pervert!"
"Will security do something? That's scary!"
"Someone already went to get them, they'll probably haul him away soon."
"…"
Yuu's body froze, panic chiseling hard edges into his face. He looked around in horror.
Cherry blossom trees lined the walkway. At the end stood a huge auditorium-like building. No doubt about it—he was outside.
Turning stiffly, a cherry blossom petal landed on his nose. He didn't even think to brush it away—because behind him stretched a sea of people.
Dozens, hundreds of students surrounded him and the naked drunks, whispering, laughing, recording on their phones.
It's over!
Pupils quaked. On the very first day of school, he had slept naked in the middle of the main path, blocking traffic. Once this hit the campus forums, his dating prospects for the next four years were utterly dead!
From now on, the moment he tried to talk to anyone, they'd just say: "Oh, I know you—you're that guy who passed out naked on the first day!"
Who in their right mind would date a pervert like that?!
"Is… my life over?"
Yuu nearly wept. He only wanted to join the weird Pab Club to stay close to angelic Nanaka-senpai. He never realized the price would be his dignity!
Maybe… he should just go back to Tokyo.
[Please don't lose heart, Host! Because you completed your mission last night at 22:10, the system has consumed one redemption chance to give you the item you need most right now!]
"You're lying! What kind of item could save me from social death?! A memory-eraser that wipes the entire crowd?!"
Yuu, despairing as cameras clicked all around him, had zero faith left in this trash system.
And really—what item could possibly turn the tables? Other than a memory eraser, nothing else seemed possible!
[A mask! I've given you a mask!]
[Item: Mask of the Bull Warrior]
[Description: The Bull Warrior never removes his mask. Without the Host's consent, no one can take it off!]
"!!!"
"System, you're the MVP! (Thumbs up!)"
In a daze, Yuu touched his face—and sure enough, his hand brushed a thin, breathable material. The eyes, nose, and mouth were exposed, but the rest of his features were completely covered.
A spark of genius struck. If he'd been wearing a mask from the start, then…
Standing tall, Yuu glanced at his exposed, muscular torso and grinned. He suddenly struck a perfect bodybuilding pose toward the crowd. Gasps erupted all around.
"Listen up, everyone! My name is Kitahara Iori! Don't you dare forget it!"
After cycling through several heroic poses to make sure his image was burned into every camera, Miyazawa Yuu bolted.
Once those photos spread, all the shame would fall on Iori's name instead! And as long as Yuu put on a shirt, who would ever know he was the masked Bull Warrior?
A flawless plan!
As for Iori's reputation… well, tough luck!
…
"Ugh… my head. Weird that Yuu actually kept winning last night…"
About four or five minutes later, Kitahara Iori slowly stirred awake.
Since he had passed out earlier, his mind was relatively clear. He immediately sensed something was off.
And when he heard his name buzzing through the crowd, he froze.
What? Naked in front of the auditorium and my name's already spreading like wildfire?!
Wait—why did I just call sleeping naked in public 'no big deal'? Oh no. I've been corrupted!
Debut equals downfall. Despair flooding his face, Iori squatted down, covering his face, desperate to salvage his reputation.
"Yo! Morning, Iori! You're not late, are you?"
As the clock neared nine, Ryuujirou and Shinji finally woke up. Seeing Iori up already, they gave him a hearty thumbs-up, posing like reliable senpai.
"You two have holes in your brains!"
The culprits shamelessly grinning right before him, Iori's fury boiled over.
Veins bulged on his temples as he glared at the two perverted senpai—still adjusting their underwear like nothing had happened.
"Wha—your teeth are showing, Iori!"
"How rude!"
"The last people qualified to say that are you two naked freaks!"
Curling his lip in pure contempt, Iori swept his gaze around again—then froze.
Miyazawa Yuu. The bastard who had stripped him. Gone!
"Ryuujirou-senpai, Yuu didn't come with us?"
"Yuu? Oh yeah… last night we definitely brought you two together. Where'd he go?"
"By the way, I was the one who put your underwear back on! No need to thank me!"
"Really? Arigat—what the hell! If you had time to put underwear on me, couldn't you have given me a shirt too?!"
On his knees, Iori cried in despair. Was brutal honesty some twisted Pab Club initiation rule?
Even if they had the time to slip underwear on him, they couldn't spare a single piece of clothing more?!
"Alright, enough whining! The freshman assembly's about to start!"
"Yeah! We need to get ready for club recruitment too. Let's go!"
"…Haa, honestly. Weirdos, first thing in the morning."
In the crowd, Kotegawa Chisa sighed helplessly as she watched her childhood friend Iori being dragged away by Shinji and Ryuujirou.
Most of the people gathered here were freshmen now.
Clutching her hope that she wouldn't get entangled with naked weirdos right at the start of college, Chisa stepped into the auditorium—completely unaware of the chaos about to unfold.