"Come on! Just press your handprint here and you'll officially be a member of PAB! Isn't it exciting, Iori?"
"No way! Absolutely not! My college life—my whole life—can't end like this!"
With his head slammed against the desk and three or four upperclassmen pinning him down, Kitahara Iori finally understood just how desperate Miyazawa Yuu must have felt back then.
But tables turn, and now it was he who stood at the edge of despair, while the bastard who dragged him into this calmly sat off to the side sipping water.
Gulp gulp gulp—haaah~ "It feels so good being unburdened, doesn't it, Iori? A real man knows how to read the room—charging in with nothing but hot-blooded passion will get you nowhere!"
Having already obediently signed what was essentially a "slave contract" of a membership form, Miyazawa Yuu no longer felt any aches or pains—his mockery carried extra weight now.
Iori's face twisted into pure reaction-face art, his pupils shrinking to pinpoints as he glared at that self-righteous bastard.
He made up his mind then and there—Miyazawa Yuu would be his lifelong nemesis! He'd never forget this grudge!
"Three! Two! One!"
"Wait a second!!!"
Taking advantage of the newbies' bickering, Ryuuji pounced, pressing Iori's fingers into the red ink pad with a vicious grin.
The rest was simple: with the seniors holding his right hand down, Iori could only watch in horror as his own finger left a bright red print on the Membership Application Form.
"Damn it all… my… my beautiful college life…"
Two trails of tears slid from beneath his bangs down his cheeks. There was no going back. No going back at all.
"Everyone! We've got ourselves a new recruit! As of now, Izu University's total stands at a glorious two people! Let's welcome our newcomer!"
Like tossing away an empty milk carton, the moment Iori had served his purpose, they let him go.
Ryuuji shook the completed application form in the air to show off to other universities' clubs, and a deafening cheer erupted.
"Yoo!!! Welcome, rookie!"
"Whooo! Izu branch is leading the recruitment race! I'll drink three cups as penalty!"
"Cheating bastard! Trying to drink without rock-paper-scissors? No way!"
"Strip rock-paper-scissors! Let's play strip rock-paper-scissors!"
The atmosphere heated up again, the sheer energy from these burly, fired-up college students reaching frightening levels.
As the strip-rock-paper-scissors matches carried on, empty bottles and discarded clothes piled up on the floor at an alarming rate.
"Ughhh~ aren't they just using this initiation as an excuse to drink? You okay, Iori?"
Slipping out from under a rain of flying clothes, Miyazawa Yuu casually picked up a bottle, poking the utterly exhausted Iori with its narrow end.
If he really wanted to become non-recyclable trash, he should at least go lie by a garbage station. It'd be too much work to haul such a huge lump of Nananawa-senpai to a recycling center…
What if the angel overworks herself carrying him?!
"You bastard… you're definitely thinking something nasty right now!"
Face contorted from crying, Iori glared at the only "kind" person showing him concern.
But he knew better—Yuu was no good guy. This fake sympathy had to be part of some scheme!
"Haah~ We're just pitiful souls who can't control our destinies. Since we're no longer rivals, why keep fighting each other?"
Sighing, Miyazawa Yuu shook his head and gently set a cup of water in front of Iori. "I know you don't trust me, but at least wet your throat. You've worn yourself out, haven't you?"
"Water… You're not completely a bastard after all!"
Seeing the condensation beading on the plastic cup, Iori realized just how parched his throat was. An ice-cold drink was exactly what he needed!
He hadn't expected… this bastard was actually looking out for him! Remembering how he'd just rejected him, a pang of guilt stirred in Iori's chest.
That's right! Their fates were both shackled to this cursed PAB club now—wasn't it too sad to keep doubting each other?
"Then I won't hold back! Arigato!"
Head snapping up, Iori met Yuu's encouraging gaze with eyes brimming with newfound hope.
In that moment! Their minds connected! Their friendship transcended to a higher plane!
Gulp gulp gulp—
Without doubt or suspicion, Iori grabbed the cup and downed the contents in one go, the cool liquid sliding from his throat to his stomach, soothing his raw voice after all that screaming and running—
Wait. Why did this water taste… spicy?
And—
"Cough! Cough! This—this isn't water! What the hell did you give me?!"
Collapsing to his knees, Iori clutched at his burning throat, unable to rise, the liquid dribbling down his chin and splattering onto the floor.
"Huh? What water? Did I ever say there was water in the cup?"
Having accomplished his goal, Miyazawa Yuu's look of concern melted into a sinister grin.
"!!!"
Iori's eyes shrank to pinpoints. Thinking back, Yuu had never actually said it was water.
So it was a trap from the start! But why?! Why target him like this?!
"Senior Ryuuji, Iori here just downed a whole cup of vodka without keeling over—seems like he can really hold his liquor. Can I leave now?"
Seeing Iori still upright, Yuu rushed to make his plea. He'd already struck a deal earlier: if he got Iori drunk, he'd be allowed to leave early to settle his luggage.
"Oho! Nicely done! But… leaving? Not so fast!"
Ryuuji wagged a finger in front of him, smiling slyly, nothing like the reliable senior he'd seemed before.
"But…"
A sense of doom filled Yuu as he tried to argue his case.
He'd only just arrived in Izu—if he stayed for this drinking party, he'd miss his chance to pick up his apartment key. Even hotels wouldn't take in a stumbling drunk guest!
"Yah~ I'd love to let you go, but didn't we agree you had to get Iori drunk?"
"Errr… maybe we can loosen the conditions a little?"
Yuu's mind raced. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Ryuuji really had worded it that way.
The hunter had suddenly become the prey.
Still, Iori had already collapsed—whether or not he was "drunk" seemed beside the point…
"Hey! Bastard!"
A heavy hand slammed down on his shoulder. Yuu froze, feeling murderous intent rising behind him.
Turning stiffly, he saw Iori—supposedly spent—now bulging with veins, glaring furiously, a familiar opened vodka bottle in his hand.
Ah! That's the very bottle he'd opened earlier to try and knock Iori out!
"Open wide, you bastard!"
"No! Not that! Anything but this! I still need to go home!"
"No problem! You can stay over with me tonight! After all, we're beeeest friiieends, right, Uncle?"
"Mm-hm, Yuu should just stay here! We've still got empty rooms, you know!"
As Iori forced Yuu to the ground, shoving the bottle into his mouth and pouring liquor down his throat, Tokugawa Tojio only smiled brighter behind the counter.
See? Homesickness could only be cured with friendship. Wasn't Iori now the one insisting his buddy stay the night?
Ahh, what overflowing youth these college boys had!
"Yamete! Nananawa-senpai, why are you just standing there watching? Help meeee!"
Iori's strength had inexplicably multiplied tenfold, and no matter how desperately Yuu clamped his throat shut, plenty of vodka still made its way into his stomach.
With Tojio refusing to intervene, he turned to the angel at the counter for aid.
"Okay! Okay! Okay! Iori, force-feeding like that is wrong! Calm down!"
"Tch! Fine, I'll spare this bastard's life!"
Thanks to Nananawa's surprising gentleness, Iori was pulled away.
Relieved but wary, Yuu immediately prepared to grab his things and flee.
But Nananawa caught his wrist and asked in puzzlement, "Yuu-kun, where are you going?"
"Uh… home?"
Foiled, Yuu could only confess honestly.
Shaking her hands into a big X, she explained, "Not allowed! If you ditch during a drinking party, you'll never make any friends!"
"So…"
"Strip rock-paper-scissors! Iori can't force you, and you must take it seriously too—that's only fair!"
"Oooh! A newbie strip rock-paper-scissors match? Everyone, gather round!"
Hearing that, all the seniors swarmed over, eager to spectate. There was no way Yuu could refuse now.
"System! Give me a quest! Just one to help me crush Iori easily!"
[...]
[Quest: Newly joined a club full of muscleheads! Please earn the seniors' most heartfelt 'You're awesome,' thereby solidifying your position in the club!]
[Reward: Whatever the host needs most!]
…Winning their approval? That wasn't something you could pull off in minutes! Damn system, no intention of letting him beat Iori easily!
But still… this was just strip rock-paper-scissors. His opponent was only Kitahara Iori. There was no way he'd lose!
Abandoning any sneaky thoughts of relying on the system, Yuu's eyes burned with fighting spirit, his aura suddenly turning JoJo-esque.
Facing off against Iori, who was also cracking his knuckles, grinning ear-to-ear, and radiating with Araki-style intensity, there was no avoiding the fated showdown!