I can't sleep.
That's the first thing you should know, because if I'm reading this tomorrow, I'll probably wake up and stare at these pages like they belonged to someone else. Like I'm being accused of something I don't remember doing.
So I'm writing now. While I still know what happened.
It's the middle of the night. The rain still pours down, I can hear it through the wood of the house - steady, heavy, like it's trying to wash Ukai. My eyes feel like stones. Every time I blink, it takes effort to open them again.
But I can't risk sleeping.
Not yet.
Because my Chasmis comes with a price. You know that. It's the reason why you exist. We are the same idiot, and we keep trying to act like we aren't.
My Chasmis doesn't take my strength.
It doesn't take my Eon.
It takes my memory. Not all of it, of course. But enough to make me scared of mornings.
