Truth & Madness
So, tell me…
Can you make drinks?Leo kept staring at him, waiting for Ren's answer.
Would he lie… or tell the truth?
Even though he already knew it.
Ren glanced at Smart and paused for a moment.
He thought about it briefly, then relaxed.
To him, it didn't feel like a big deal.
He could get out of this situation easily.
"Hmm… my passion is making different cocktails. And I'm actually pretty good at it," he said, glancing at Leo.
Leo smiled softly, feeling oddly pleased that Ren was finally sharing something about himself and his passions.
Now he understood even better why Ren was always behind the counter at Light.
Still, one thing didn't make sense to him.
Ren had an expensive car… and a luxurious apartment like that.
A bartender's salary could never afford those things.
Even so, Leo decided to wait.
He would wait for the moment when Ren would open up and tell him everything about himself.
Leo didn't want to push the conversation any further.
He didn't want Smart or Ren to feel awkward and ruin the beautiful day they were having.
"Hm… then you'll make us a cocktail tonight?" he asked casually.
Ren gently cupped his face.
"If you want, of course."
"There, Jin. That's exactly why I told them to go to the room," Smart said, sipping his drink.
"I can literally taste the sweetness in the air."
Jin laughed and casually draped an arm around his neck.
"Oh? And do you want to go to the room too?" he teased.
"Jin— stop," Smart muttered, lightly pushing him away.
The four of them spent a really nice time talking and laughing together.
Ren told a story about the time he, Smart, and Han went hiking, and how Han kept slipping and falling like a sack of flour.
Then he shared another one — the time Smart saw a spider and ran so fast that neither of them could even catch up to him.
"Are you afraid of spiders?" Jin asked calmly.
Smart immediately shivered the moment he heard the word.
"Yes," he admitted in a low voice. "And please… don't mention them again."
Damn, he's so cute, Jin thought to himself with a quiet laugh.
After spending most of their time in that cozy, pleasant place, Smart suddenly stood up and took out his phone to snap a few photos.
He wandered a bit deeper, clearly enjoying the beauty of nature — the leaves, the flowers… everything around him.
"Leo," Ren called softly, "go check on Smart for a moment.
I'm afraid a spider might show up and he'll literally faint."
Jin jumped slightly and stood up, ready to go after him, but Ren stopped him.
"Let Leo go," he said, giving him a subtle wink as if sending a signal.
Jin saw the gesture and sat back down immediately, curious about what Ren had in mind.
Leo got up and headed toward Smart, glancing back at them often.
"What are you two trying to do?" he whispered to himself, disappearing among the trees.
As soon as Ren lost sight of Leo, he turned to Jin.
"Give me a cigarette."
Jin looked at him in surprise but handed it over immediately.
Ren lit it quickly, inhaling with urgency, then blew out the smoke while savoring the moment.
He took a deep breath, as if he'd been released from prison.
Jin shook his head, a faint smile on his lips.
"For this cigarette… you wanted me to stay here?"
Ren looked him straight in the eyes.
"I've been locked up inside all these days, drinking tea every single day…
I was dying to smoke a whole cigarette and just enjoy it like this."
Jin laughed out loud and then lit a cigarette for himself.
"Leo's been torturing you, right?"
Ren took a sip of his coffee and paused for a moment.
"Fuck… yes!
And not just the way he over-cared for me, like I was dying—it was just a simple flu…
he's torturing me with the other part too," he said, removing his glasses to look Jin in the eyes, then letting his gaze drop slightly.
Jin caught on instantly and grinned.
"Need a hand?" he asked, giving Ren a playful nudge.
Ren shot Jin a quick, suspicious glance, trying to read his sincerity in that moment.
But Jin already knew—Leo was head over heels for Ren, and all he wanted was to help speed things up between them a little.
All Jin really wanted was for Leo to let go, to feel his feelings fully, without holding back.
For years, Leo never changed.
He switched partners almost every day and entertained himself with reckless sex, without feelings, without emotions, without love.
He still doesn't know what it means to make love with someone who makes your heart race like crazy.
Jin had done almost the same as him, with barely any difference. In fact, he was even more unrestrained, sleeping not with just one person in a night, but with more than that, feeling the pleasure of dominance over them and amusing himself as he watched them shattered beneath him, completely under his control.
But when it came to Leo, he saw him as an important person in his life and wanted him to be different from him.
He had tried many times to make Leo live a different life, but without any success.
Leo had chosen that path and, at that time, no one could stop him.
Jin had given up and let him act however he wanted, but always keeping an eye on him.
Ren asked again,
"Why are you helping me?"
Jin leaned back slightly against the pillow and spoke right away.
"I'm not helping you…
I'm helping Leo."
"What do you mean by that?" Ren asked immediately, not understanding.
"How can you help Leo in this way?"
"By pushing him to free himself from the grip of his fears, fall madly for you, and never return to his old life—Jin crossed one leg over the other.
That's it. Simple as that.
His past life?
His fears?
What does that even mean?
"Damn… don't tell me he's slept with that many before me… there's no way to even count them."
Ren was furious now, desperate to know more.
"So many questions… what do you think?
Does Leo seem like one of those who hasn't had a long list?
I'm sure you realized that the very first time you met him."
Ren, with his silence, simply confirmed what Jin had just said.
He already knew it—he just didn't like anyone spelling it out for him.
Still, he calmed himself by reminding that it was just Leo's past—and it would stay there.
"Jin… tell me the truth—has something happened in Leo's past that I need to know?
You said… 'fears.'
What's really weighing on him?" Ren went straight to the point, exactly where he meant to from the start.
"Why ask that? You got some clue?" Jin replied, calm as ever.
"Hmmm… the moment I try to push him a little further… he starts trembling.
He stops everything. He nearly ruins everything we've built. You get what I mean?"
Jin just nodded.
It's stuck in his head—he wants to be the top, and there's no shaking that desire out of him.
Ren's voice carried a thoughtful edge.
"I get it… and that's normal for someone who's never truly been the bottom, right?" Jin said, blunt, low voice.
"I understand this very well… but I wouldn't even say a word if I didn't see that deep inside, he wants this.
Yet something's stopping him from fully letting go and giving himself to me.
You get what I mean?" Ren said, lighting another cigarette without even fully putting out the first one.
"Hey… slow down. What are you doing?"
"No one's taking your cigarettes… they're right there. Just breathe." Jin looked at him, a little surprised.
"I'm taking advantage of the moment… while Leo's gone," Ren said immediately, eyes scanning for any sign of him.
"So… you're going to tell me if there's something I need to know?
If something's weighing on him, something that makes him suffer, and I need to be careful?
I know it's not really for you to talk about…
But if you don't tell me, I'll never understand.
Leo probably would never tell me himself.
Honestly… I've started to be scared of myself."
"What…? What do you mean?" Jin frowned slightly, confused by Ren's words.
"What are you afraid of?"
"There are times when my patience runs out…" Ren paused briefly.
"You probably understand this part better than anyone."
"There are moments when everything goes dark and I lose control completely…
and I'm scared that one day I might push him too far — make him mine, no matter the consequences."
"You can't do that." Jin's tone came out harsh, almost authoritative.
Ren snapped his head toward him, instantly sensing that something was off the second Jin's voice shifted.
"Then tell me the truth, damn it… what happened to my Leo?"
Ren's voice was tight with tension, rising without him noticing.
"I need to know — so I can protect him… even from myself."
"Watch your tone," Jin warned, his voice carrying a clear edge.
"I'm older than you. Show some respect, or you won't get anything out of me."
Ren quickly apologized, admitting he'd been extremely stressed these past few days — tense and aggressive at the same time — and asked Jin not to take it too personally.
Jin fell silent for a moment, thinking.
He wasn't sure how he should handle this.
But in the end, Leo's well-being mattered more than anything… and realistically, who could take better care of him than Ren?
He had a brief battle with his own thoughts, and in the end, he decided to say something that could actually help Ren.
"Alright… I'll tell you," Jin said quietly.
"But only if you stay calm. And in front of Leo, you don't show even a hint of doubt."
"…Okay."
Ren agreed to Jin's condition, even though he wasn't sure if he could truly keep his composure.
Jin went silent for a few seconds.
He took a slow, deep breath — and then continued, his mind drifting back several years into the past.
♥︎
Jin tried to gather the scattered thoughts in his head.
"A few years ago…" he began quietly.
"What? What happened? Just tell me."
Ren cut him off, his impatience obvious.
Jin let out a slow breath, clearly aware of how restless Ren was.
"Do you think you can let me speak?" he said, his voice firm.
"Or are you going to interrupt me before I even start?"
Ren tightened his jaw, then gave a short nod.
"Okay, okay… go on."
Jin took a deep breath and started again, his voice low and steady this time.
Years ago, when we were around twenty, we did endless reckless things.
The one thing we did the most — and loved the most — was street racing.
More specifically… drifting.
We were almost the best in the city.
People even saw us as the strongest on the streets.
Ren's eyes widened in shock.
"Wait… are you telling me Leo is insanely good behind the wheel?"
Jin glanced at him and replied calmly,
"Just like Smart is… right?"
In that moment, Ren immediately turned his gaze toward the trees, as if he hadn't heard anything at all.
Jin smiled faintly.
"No need to hide it. A professional's eye recognizes someone like that instantly.
And Smart definitely is.
But that's a different topic… one we'll discuss another time."
Then a sly idea crossed his mind, and he added,
"Don't think I'm telling you all this about Leo for nothing."
Ren met his eyes, his look clearly saying,
'Forget it. I'm not telling you anything about Smart.'
Jin lit another cigarette.
"Then we'll leave it here.
I won't say anything either."
.
"…Go on, please," Ren said, falling under Jin's quiet pressure.
Jin settled back against the pillow.
"I'll continue… but only if you do the same.
You're going to help me with Smart, right?"
"I don't think you need my help."
"If you really wanted something, you'd have gotten it by now, right?"
"You're right… but with Smart, it's different.
I don't want to force anything. I don't have the courage to hurt him.
That's why I need your help," Jin said quietly, looking at Ren once more.
"So… should I continue the story?"
Ren had no choice.
For now, he just wanted to know everything about Leo.
How he'd deal with Jin later… that was a problem for another time.
Leo was truly untouchable at drifting, with near-perfect control over his car.
He could put on a show, and everyone watched him with admiration, completely captivated by him.
Yet he had never let anyone get close… until one day, someone appeared on the racetrack.
It was none other than "Ming."
A tall, handsome guy whose presence made everyone fall for him — not just Leo.
"Who the hell is Ming?" Ren whispered, irritated.
"Well, back then he was about three years older than Leo, a new and very strong challenger in drifting," Jin continued the story.
Leo felt the tension with him from the very first moment, even though they were competitors, but he never made the first move.
Ming noticed this immediately and didn't waste a second — he took full advantage of the moment!
He approached Leo, seducing him slowly, day by day, until he had almost won him over.
Days passed, and it seemed like Leo was nearly his.
Ren listened, feeling almost insane with jealousy at the thought that Leo had fallen for someone else —
even if it was just a part of the past.
"He always seemed a bit… hmm, how should I put it… like someone with bad intentions, almost like a maniac," Jin continued.
"So I decided to do some digging on him."
The moment Ren heard the word "maniac," he flinched.
His chest tightened, and he struggled to catch his breath.
One day, Leo told me he was going on a date with Ming. Being the obsessive person I was, I asked him to call me if anything went wrong, like I could sense something might happen.
Jin took a deep breath, pausing, struggling to step back into that time.
"I had someone digging up everything on Ming for me," he continued, his voice low.
"And in that moment, all the pieces — every little detail about him — just hit me at once…"
He was a maniac. A sick psychopath — just as I had feared.
He would take them to pubs, slip something into their drinks, and before they even realized it, their bodies would betray them.
Desire would take over, leaving them powerless, unable to resist the pull of it.
Every glance, every move was calculated.
Every reaction fell right into his control.
And he enjoyed it. Every damn second.
There had been a few reports filed against him, but he always got away.
Everything was planned to perfection.
He filmed every scene himself, making sure he had "proof" — proof that he never forced anyone.
Under the effect of that drink, they were the ones begging for it.
Ren's breath nearly stopped.
Cold sweat spread down his body as his mind spiraled.
The thought that someone had touched his Leo like that drove him insane.
Time froze.
The world around him went silent.
"Jin… give me two minutes to breathe," he muttered, pulling off the scarf that suddenly felt suffocating.
"Calm down, Ren. I told you from the start — keep your composure."
But he couldn't. He just couldn't calm down.
Even the air felt heavy.
He grabbed another cigarette, hoping it would ease the pressure crushing his chest.
"Continue," he said immediately.
"Are you sure?" Jin asked, watching him carefully.
"Yes."That single word came out low and steady.
"Alright," Jin continued, letting the story unfold slowly.
"Leo sensed something was wrong and sent me the location immediately."
Jin stopped the moment their eyes met.
"Let's skip the details for now," he said quietly.
"I want to know everything," Ren snapped, his eyes burning.
"Every. Fucking. Single. Detail."
Jin kept talking, deliberately leaving out certain parts.
There was no need for Ren to know everything — it would have shattered him.
He dragged Leo into one of the pub's private rooms.
Then he tried to go further…
but he hadn't counted on Leo fighting back.
The drug hit him… but not like the others.
He fought every inch of it, every nerve on alert.
But in the end… it wore him down.
Not completely, but his strength gave out.
"Did he torture him?" Ren asked, without even turning his head, silently praying the answer would be no.
This was exactly the part Jin didn't want to reveal, but Ren was sharper than he expected.
Jin stayed silent for a few moments, drawing on his cigarette…
""So… that motherfucker… he tortured my Leo" Ren snapped, his voice sharp and furious as he faced Jin's silence.
"Y-yeah," Jin said in a low voice. "He beat him like he was an animal.
God… if I ever face him again, I swear I'll kill him."
Jin's voice trembled with pure rage in that moment.
"Fuck—fuck!" Ren yelled, pounding the table with his fist.
His blood was boiling, and he couldn't hold back the anger building up inside him.
Jin understood Ren's reaction perfectly, and if he were in his place, he'd have lost it even worse.
"Keep going," Ren said, his voice strained and muffled.
"I want to know everything… every pain he went through!"
When I arrived, I found Leo tied to the bed.
His arms were restrained above his head, his legs forced apart, his body pressed hard against the mattress.
That disgusting bastard was on top of him, trying to tear off his underwear.
He had tied him up because Leo had actually fought back —
because he had shown real strength.
I swear… I don't even know what I did.
All I know is my vision went dark—I hit him so hard, one of his eyes might never be the same again!
I would've killed him right there if it weren't for Leo calling me to stop.
I ran straight to him, heart racing, just to set him free.
When I got closer and saw those marks on his body, those tears in his eyes… I swear, killing him felt almost too easy.
I wanted to take him and make him suffer until his soul left him.
But when I turned my head… that bastard was gone.
Ren couldn't take it anymore.
He completely lost it thinking about what his Leo had gone through.
His heart was about to burst out of his chest, and he couldn't stop himself.
Just imagining that maniac on top of Leo… that he could've really hurt him… he completely lost his mind.
Where the hell is that bastard now?
Do you know?
Do you really think if I knew where he was, I'd have let him live?
I looked for him after that, but it was like the ground had swallowed him whole.
Never found him. Some said he'd left the country.
Later, I tore that pub apart—every last piece of it.
I still haven't told Leo that I couldn't find him; didn't want him to stress.
I just told him I'd taken care of it, that he'd never come near you again.
"I want to face him… I want to kill him with my own hands!" Ren shouted, unable to control himself.
"Calm down, and don't shout… they'll hear us.
You can't act crazy when they come back, alright?" Jin said, keeping his tone steady.
"Tell me," Ren pressed, still tense, "after all this… how did Leo handle what came next?"
"I think that's enough. I've told you more than enough," Jin said, sharp and short.
Ren grabbed him by the arm. "I want to know everything! Don't hide a thing!"
""Some things… maybe it's better if you don't know, don't you think?" Jin shot back immediately.
"Jin, don't make me lose my mind! You got this far… now finish it. Tell me everything."
Jin realized he wasn't going to give up.
Okay, okay…
After everything, Leo acted like nothing had happened.
But I could see it all—the pain he was carrying inside, even if he hid it from the world.
We started racing again, but it was never the same.
Leo began losing control of the car, pushing it harder and faster until he completely lost the wheel and crashed.
An accident? Ren's heart shattered, and the words got stuck in his throat.
He stayed in the hospital for weeks, and I stayed by his side the whole time.
That was the moment we decided to leave racing behind and start a new chapter in our lives.
A wild, reckless, and untamed chapter.
Leo became extremely aggressive.
And so did I.
We lived dangerously, chasing adrenaline, pushing ourselves to the edge.
"You don't need the details," he said to Ren. "You know what I mean."
From that moment on, Leo chose to be on top, never bottom.
He decided not to fall in love—only to have sex like it was his last day.
Being bottom had become a fear for him; he couldn't bear it, not until you appeared.
Ren felt a small relief hearing this, but the knowledge of what Leo had endured still weighed heavily on him.
"Think he'll ever let me be on top?" Ren asked, his voice barely a whisper.
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