32. "AUTUMN"
The spring is here and everything is blooming, but I'm still living in autumn, my leaves are falling all over the windy grounds. I wish I could have a conversation with my maker about this love, there's so many questions that I need answers to, maybe it would clear my sight because I keep walking into walls in the thoughts of what I no longer have.
I'm trying my best to understand that the past is the past and I can't change it, I'm trying, I really am but it seems like my efforts mean nothing. I bring girls into my life, use their attention and sex as my rebounds but I just keep coming back to the root of this falling tree.
If I'm never gonna stop loving her, then I gotta figure out how to live with this love in peace, because now it only brings me misery, pain and darkness. It kills me that I can't have her, I thought we would be one of the adult lovers who started off at a young age, I thought we would celebrate the rest of our lives together. Milestones, a new job, a new house, a new car, our first baby and then marriage but it was all a dream.
If I'm not gonna stop loving, then I gotta figure out how to live with this love in peace.
33. "Oh My.. SWEET ROMANCE"
Oh my, just imagine being granted the wish of living the rest of your life with the woman that your heart chose. All I want is a sweet romance with the only girl that can bring me to a happy ever after.. She called me this morning, the first thing she said was my name and it hit me like it used to.
I love her so much, even a million words wouldn't be enough to express my love for her, I choose her today, tomorrow and the day after. She still got an affect on me, she still gets soft in her voice when she addresses me and I still melt on the other side of the phone. Oh my, I wish we could share a sweet romance and live in love once again.
If she's the only one that got a key to my heart, that could mean that I'll never love again and if that's the case, I'll pay the price that comes with this love. I know that nothing is perfect in love, it's not all sunshine and roses but, wouldn't it be much better to do this with somebody you really love?
I don't wanna settle for somebody that I don't love as strongly as I love this girl, I've seen it many times in other folks where infatuation takes over and blends in as love, only for them to have nothing to stay for in a few months. That's not what I want for myself, I want this, I want her, because this is the only real form of love that I know.
Oh my, the things we go through because of love, if fake love is so common out there, why can't this real love get a chance at a sweet romance?