Compromise. An agreement between two parties that can be just about anything really. An agreement that I saw as ineffective most of the damn time and something that is downright a waste of time. For you see, to compromise means to lose. You don't get what you want, you merely settle on what you can get, just like the other poor guy you just compromised with. There's no winners here, just a bunch of bitter losers.
I mean, if you're going for broke, It just looks pathetic when you swing the bat, hit the ball high and far only to realize mid way that you weren't as strong as you thought and have to hastily settle for 3rd base. It's downright embarrassing and shameful really.
...Not to mention the fact that my parents also compromised when I was still in japan. Settling for a dead end job that, while sure paid the bills, guaranteed that they weren't going to see their kids that much. (Aka, me and Komiachi.)
It was a catch 23 as the Americans would call it. Get money and live stably, whilst losing the opportunity to spend time with your kids.
Well, It's not like I can blame them. They needed to work after all, I mean how else are they gonna put food on the table?
...Hah. Look at me, I'm a fucking Hypocritte for saying this shit. When it is none other than I that has compromised the most in this fucking shithole!
I compromised with what little remaining sanity of which I had left that I would go home.
I compromised with my body that I would kill men without thinking about it.
I compromised with what makes me depressed as fuck by smoking a fuckton of Cigarettes, knowing that it'll kill me rather than help me in the long run.
I compromised with my humanity that I would become a monster that killed indiscriminatly, lest I lose my humanity and myself to this fucking war.
I compromised with my nightmares and dreams by staying awake and as a result being tired as fuck all the time.
I compromised so as to not suffer.
And I suffered for it.
...Oh my, I didn't see you there! Forgive me for that little rant, for you see I couldn't help but bitch about it, considering my current situation.
For you see, much like my little tirade that I had just gone on, the Soviets had compromised.
We'll be back in a few days at the latest my ass, this was gonna take a couple of months tops.
Yes, For you see, the Soviets to their credit weren't completely dumb. Realizing that the enemy was quite well prepared for their assault, they elected a different approach, a slow approach but nonetheless a much better one than they had launched before.
That woman's men were to dig in and fortify themselves at the entrance of the pass, while the other units in the 3 remaining directions were to make their way to the pass as swiftly as possible, and when they got here, to the surrounding the rest of the pass, they were to take defensive positions. Yes, the soviets were trying to box the enemy in.
They realised that instead of rushing in, it would be much better to slowly grind them down. It was to be a cage, the Soviets entrapping and suffocating a beast known as the Mujaheddin to death.
But the thing was, It was fishy.
They change their plans way too quickly. The operation at first was simple, rush in and kill as many as you can before pulling out, But now, they had redirected all of their attention to this pass. Even going so far as to dig in and fortify it, not letting the defenders to escape.
I'm not a fucking idiot. I know how many men were lost in the initial stages of the operation. It wasn't a lot, but it sure as hell was notable.
The casualties weren't high enough to warrant a change in strategy. And besides, Its the fucking red army. They could cause a national food crisis if they decided to station all of their men here for god's sake!
So, that begs the question, why?
Why compromise and dig in, starting a battle of attrition?
Why was this pass so fucking important?
Crunch.
The cigarette in my mouth bent slightly from my well contained anger, the tip of if still spewing out that noxious, stinky tobacco smoke.
With my hands still on my rifle, we still continue the patrol, clearing out any pockets of resistance in the eastern area. The plan being to flush the militants out so that those lazy ass helicopter flying fucks can have an easier and faster time digging in when they finally get their slow ass's here.
Yes, Patrol. I fucking hated it. Both boring, yet also dangerous, having to keep an eye out for everything as a result due to the...precarious nature of the damn thing. You were actively seeking and hunting down the enemy after all, And if the enemy militants were in the mood, they would give you a fight.
Here's to hoping they see us and let us pass, choosing not to engage us in a firefight and thus, ruining my already quite shitty day.
Seriously, Is it too much to ask to just laze about camp all day? To take it easy, slow and relaxed? Sheesh, I just can't catch a fucking break now can I?
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch one of the men eagerly putting a bayonet at the muzzle end of his rifle. Something I snorted at. Must be a replacement, fucking dumbass. Only Newbies and green horns would put Bayonets on their muzzles. And only idiots realize that you can't fire half as well with the damn thing on, well, on the bright side if they live long enough to learn from this mistake after the combat, they might not be so inclined to be so stupid.
This was a war of distance. Half the damn time the enemy would spot you half a mile away and start peppering you within 200 to 300 yards. You're not gonna need a bayonet unless you're in some very desperate shit. Something that almost never happens considering that the Soviets manage to fight the enemy off half the damn time anyway.
Keeping my silence, I continue to walk, a soft breeze passing by and rustling the hair beneath my blue beret. Ah yes, the fucking beret. Logistics was being a pain in the ass and said that they had no helmets, so for the time being, I literally had no fucking head protection. Great just fucking great eh?
The rare and malnourished small patches of grass let out a soft, satisfying crunch as I walked over them, the bushes and shrubs, and modest amounts of trees eyeing me as I do so. Still holding my ak47's rifle grip firmly, I don't let down my guard as I eye those fucking bushes sharply. If my time in the enemies ranks taught me anything, It's that places like this were prime ambushing locations.
"No matter how much I do this, It's always boring isn't it, Yuri?" A familiar soft voice spoke gently next to me. Something that I didn't like one bit. Like, Good god woman, out of all the men out here on patrol with us, you choose me? Really? Do you have something against me or something? Please, Leave me alone!
"...Indeed it is Comrade Pavlovna." I say curtly, my eyes still scanning the area ahead of me, hoping in vain that she'll get the hint. Something that she never got.
"...Say, I've never really asked before but, why do you have an Ak47? Why not standard issue?" She asked with a curious tone in her voice, her eyes never leaving the area in front of us. Well, there's one thing she's doing right I guess.
"...."
RUSTLE.
I don't say anything, no. It's more like I couldn't say anything. It happened so suddenly, an enemy militant suddenly appeared from a brush in front of us, My body reacted automatically, hip firing at the newly appeared foe.
BANG..
To my surprise though, the man falls dead to the ground, a bullet now lodged in his forehead. Before I could even pull the trigger. Turning to look beside me, I could only raise a curious brow at her. With smoke still coming out of the pistol's muzzle, she quickly crouched down, trying to make herself a smaller target as she continued to aim to the front of us.
Her mean instantly crouched down as well. All of their muzzles aimed at the location in which she was aiming. All following her lead, like a herd of sheep to a shepard.
Reluctantly I as the americans would say, "Go with the flow" And crouch down as well, my sights already aimed at the bush in front of us.
"..."
"..."
"Abdul?" Cried out a man after several moments in silence. Hesitation clear and thick in his voice as a hint of fear lightly mixed in as well.
"Abdul?" He called out once again, panic now setting in his voice as we hear him get closer, his figure hidden to us due to the brush covering a large area in front of us.
"Wait Brother! It may be a trap!" Cried another voice in Farsi.
"Yes, what if the Soviets are nearby? We must be careful! Remember what the Americans taught us!" Another voice added in.
We stood there, motionless in our positions as we overheard the chatter from the enemy. Sneaking a quick glance out of the corner of my eye, The woman looks at me and three other men, and nudges her head right.
Looking at Borris, she does the same thing.
Narrowing my eyes, I could only sigh inwardly as I tighten my grip on my rifle. A flank huh? Well, At least I'll have some fucking support this time. Discarding my cigarette and snubbing it on the ground with the sole of my boot, I nod to the three other people along with me in this flank, I start to move, My footsteps light as I creep through the cruel harsh terrain of Afghanistan.
The three other men make their way with me, with the brush giving us some cover and concealment.
Stalking up on the enemies sides, we showed no little caution in always checking out corners and making sure that in fact WE were not the ones that got flanked.
After all, it wouldn't do well if I died now wouldn't it?
Crouching alongside the bushes, trees and brush, we soon found ourselves in a prime position on their side. Now, all we had to do was wait for the signal to pounce.
Peering from behind a tree, I see them clearly now, at least 5 squads worth of men...5? Jesus fucking christ that's quite a bit!...No, I can think about it after the battle, Now's not the time to be thinking about this kind of shit.
Rifle at the ready, I aim down the sights, before stopping as I see something from the corner of my eye.
Ah great! It was the fucking replacement!
Tch!
Quitely, I look at him with a face of Irritation as I grab the muzzle end of his rifle. Shutting him up with a heavily lidded glare as I do so. Shortly after, I managed to take that fucking bayonet off the damn thing before the enemy notices us.
Stupid fucker was trying to aim down his sights with the fucking bayonet jutting off the muzzle end of the barrel. A very SHINY bayonet with that reflected light quite easily I might add. I'm not gonna fucking die because of these stupid fucks.
"This is an ambush, we gun them down before they notice us, not alert them of our presence because you decided to attach a very shiny bayonet on your rifle." I snarl at the young replacement now, a look of shock and fear now showing on his face before he silently gulps and nods.
The two other men simply smirk at this as they say nothing, instead opting to aim down their own sights at the enemy now.
Hah.
Holding up my rifle once more, I steady my breathing as I watch them cautiously head forwards into the brush in which their comrade "Abdul" Met a very unfortunate fate.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
The seconds passed by heavily as we held our position, watching them menacingly. Our breaths hold as we know who to fire at. Everything was set, now we only needed to wait for the signal. This was a classic textbush ambush. Now all we needed was the singal. The one thing that will kickstart this slaughter.
The sun beat down hard against my back as a small sweat formed inevitably on the farthest corners of my forehead.
With my finger pressed tightly against the trigger, All it would take is one simple squeeze, one squeeze and a man is now dead.
BAM.
Despite my better judgement, a small smile forms upon my face. The enemy has stiffened up now, many ducking for cover as one of their men dropped dead.
Not like it'll help.
Idiots.
Everyone was firing now. Bullets were flying as the guys beside me were firing as well. The air was thick with lead as I joined in the killing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You got any ammo left?"
"Nope. This is my last mag."
The men milled about as the evac site as they made polite small talk to each other. Patiently waiting for the chopper transport chopper to arrive so that they can finally get the fuck outta this hell hole and back to camp.
Sitting down on a rock, I take a silent drag as I look at my ammunition because of their words.
Empty. Tch.
Well, To their credit, nobody expected for us to be met with so much...Resistance.The enemy were quite numerous, hell we must have been involved in, at the very least, 20 firefights within the last few couple of hours.
I narrow my brow at this thought.
Why were there so many of them? What was happening? Was resistance like this for the other sites as well? Or was it just us?
Hah.
Lazily, I get my ass off of that small, comfy rock that I was just sitting on and make my way towards a dead enemy. One of many that lay strewn on the battlefield. With a short grunt, I take a knee and start rummaging through his belongings, ignoring the baffled and uncomfortable glances that the other men throw my way.
It takes a second, But I finally find what I'm looking for. Viola! A 7.62×39mm magazine. It's only a single mag, but it'll do. Having one loaded mag is better than none afterall.
Now all I had to do was wait. It was simple. Hold tight for evac, drink coffee back at camp and enjoy not fighting for my fucking life. Nothing more, nothing less.
I take another drag, the smoke now escaping my lunges now as I find another spot to park my ass on. It was gonna take a while, so I'd rather slack off as much as I can.
My eyes lazily scan the sparse area in front of me, with bushes and trees dubbed in here and there. Making for a rather pathetic landscape.
Hah.
I'm tired. Even whilst awaiting evac I can't let my guard down. I just wanna go home already~
"Ever vigilant aren't you?" A familiar voice drags me out of my lul.
Not even bothering to look at her, I keep my eyes to the front of me and give her a curt response.
"Not like there's anything else to do. And even if there was anything else, if I don't remain vigilant, then I'm dead." I say gruffly, the russian now starting to flow off my tongue smoothly. A result of having to talk to her all the damned time.
"Well, If you keep this up, the war will be over before we know it!" She says both sarcastically and playfully, taking a seat next to me.
"..." I say nothing at this. Opting for a forced, uneasy silence. This woman is a fucking riot you know that?
"I just got off the radio, evac will be here in 10 minutes tops." She says with an audible sigh, her voice full of weary and relief.
"We fought a lot of enemies today didn't we?" She asks, with a hint of bitterness hidden in her words. A bitterness that I noticed immediately.
"...Indeed we did." I say after a short pause, still refusing to look at her as we watch the scenery in front of us.
"You know I wish for a unified unit don't you?"
"And you have a unified unit."
"No, there's a gap between you and the men. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that."
"And?"
"I want you to close that gap."
I almost snorted at this. She wants me to get along with these fuckers? Yeah right. Nope, never gonna happen. Over my dead body will that shit ever happen.
"..With all due respect, that will never happen."
"But it can, if only you open up to them."
"..."
"Look-"
"I'm sorry, but I don't ever recall training with them back in the motherland. I don't recall them ever getting to know me as they no doubt lost their comrades one by one. I don't recall them wanting to get to know me as I to them. We're just too different. Me and them, Hell, me and you? I don't even know why you still bother to even try talking to me. But it's the same and will always be. We're too different."
"..."
"I don't know their cliques, I don't know who's the most popular, hell I don't even know their names. And I'll keep it that way. Because it's simple, and nobody get's hurt."
"...But… aren't you hurting?" She asked gently, her voice sounding oddly melancholic.
"..." I can't say anything. Because, well? Technically she was right. I am hurting, just not in the way she was imagining it.
I was hurting.
Hurting to go home.
Hurting to forget all of this.
Hurting to sleep peacefully once again.
It wasn't the distance that was hurting me. It was this shit hole of a scenerio in which God dropped me off, no doubt for his sick, selfish desires. After all, I'm only human as well. I have a family, I have weaknesses, I have hobbies, I have a life.
And every second that I'm here, I can't indulge in my life. The one thing that I can only consider as normal. Safe, hell comforting even. I want to be literally anywhere but here…
But here I was, with every waking moment I spend in agony as I desire nothing but to go home to my Life.
"..."
"Well, Everyone is hurting one way or another, right? Comrade Pavlovna?" Was my only response, a weak, sarcastic smart ass response, but still a response nonetheless.
"Yes, but they hide it. You don't. Every time I look into your eyes, a piece of my heart can't help but pang with sadness and pain." She said softly now, deathly quiet as we both fall silent now, the sounds of our breathing now quite audible as we sit there.
"..."
"..."
"No, I'm sorry...It's just too late. They already dislike me, and I have no desire to want to know them. This fragile status quo is simply enough." I take a slow, long drag at this. Gently shaking my head as well.
"But is it? You're already so far from your family. Why not make the men in your family? At the very least, It'll lessen the pain. I mean, it's worked for me."
"...Family huh?...No, I don't think they would want someone like me as a family member." Flashes of Komachi, mom, my ACTUAL family flash through my thoughts at the word. Making my heart pang out in a silent, suffocating pain.
"You never know if you don't try."
"And I know if I want to try. Which is a polite no."
"Oh you! Seriously though, I'm just saying this to give you a heads up, but i'm going to assign you and Borris to some missions after this operation is over. You're going to be part of this unit whether you like it or not." She said softly but sternly, her tone clearly telling me that this matter was already settled.
"...I see." I say simply, sighing at this as I show her that I'm clearly annoyed with this little stunt of hers. I mean, what else could I have done? Argue with her and waste my time? Yeah, No. I'd rather enjoy my smoke while it's still lit, thanks very much.
"Hoh? It seems like more efforts are finally working! It is like that quote from Ovid no, Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but by perseverance?" Ugh. I'm not looking at her, but I can already imagine that shit eating grin of her's already forming on her face.
Just as I was about to refute her statement, My gut lurched and I instinctively grabbed my rifle. The hairs on the back of my neck standing up as well. I didn't even have time to aim down the sights. One moment I was sitting atop a rock, next thing I knew, I was flat on my ass, ears ringing, muffling all the sounds and noise happening around me.
Blink.
I blinked, trying to find a semblance of the thing called logic. Dazed as all hell, I saw debris and the flash of gun fire light all around me. I couldn't hear it, with my ears muffled and all, but I could still see it, Which alarmed me sufficiently so as to pull me out of my dazed state.
I stand up, or at least try to stand up.
Schlunk!
Argh!
Fuck! Before I knew it, a hot, searing white pain formed in my leg. Pissed as all hell, I bring my rifle up- My rifle. Where is it? Where the fuck is my rifle?
Ah, there it is-
Thump.
..What?
...No! Fuck! Come on my legs, don't fail me now!
All of a sudden, my legs, still hurting like a bitch, gave out on me. It was like I simply had no energy anymore, like I had spent it all up and no longer had anything in the tank.
As I try to drag myself up, my eyes grow ridiculously heavy, strangely, despite the pain, despite the sounds of the battlefield, hell even the battlefield itself, I felt...oddly sleepy.
...No. Not now. Not when my life is on the fucking line. I need to get to it, I need to grab my rifle…
...My...Rif-
The last things I see is the now retreating large group of enemies, and the approaching helicopters, now sweeping away those fucking bastards.
…
Shit. If only I could have killed a couple before the helicopters, maybe I wouldn't be feeling so...mad….
I soon close my tired eyes, not caring about anything anymore. Just wanting to...rest. For just a little bit, It couldn't hurt to do so, could it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
".....And when the Word is fulfilled against them (the unjust), we shall produce from the earth a beast to (face) them: He will speak to them, for that mankind did not believe with assurance in Our Signs."
I said nothing as the man in front of me eyed the Kalashnikov with gentle eyes, a soft smile upon his face as he held it gingerly.
The men around me said nothing as well, silently eyeing me the whole time as I just stood there, rigid and nervous as all hell.
Keeping a poker face, I ignored the stuffiness of the cave, the eyes that preyed upon me, and the feeling of unease that overcame me, instead opting to look at the cave wall directly behind the man now in front of me.
"..." He was about to say something, but paused, and instead looked at me. His eyes looking directly into my onyx black eyes.
With a short nod, he flipped the gun over and held it with both his hands underneath the main body of the gun.
Gesturing to me with another nod of his head, I gulp as I understand what he was saying.
With an inward sigh, I took a soft, careful step and held out my hands, not grabbing the rifle and instead waiting for him to bestow it upon me.
After a second, he sets the gun softly upon my hands. Slowly and carefully, I look down at it, and silently study the left side of the receiver. Etched in a faint silver, was that damned language of the middle east. A language that I didn't understand, Hell, I don't know what he said! I just went with the flow and picked up on the social cues.
"For your acts…"
I look up at him now, paying attention to the man lest I commit an offense and get gunned down right there on the spot.
"...I now dub you the beast of Panjishir."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
…
I awoke with a scowl on my face, reminded of that time in which I was still with those fucking bastards. It was a terrible time, a time that I hated with every ounce of my being. A time that forged me into the messed up fuck up that I am today.
A time that I wanted to desperately forget, to disappear much like the smoke that escaped from my cigarettes.
...But, I know that won't happen. It never will.
And I'll have to live with that, regardless of whether or not I want to. It was just...Life.
Sigh.
Looking down, I see a blanket resting on top of my body. Looking up, I see the slanted top of a tent.
Great. Just great. I was in the medical tent, that means that I passed out, like a little bitch and they had to drag my ass here.
Hah.
I grimace at the moans of the wounded soldiers all around me, the stench of death and iron thick in the air. I hated it, this atmosphere, I was already constantly fighting for my life on the field, there was no reason to remind me of it when I wasn't.
Tired and groggy, I slowly close my eyes once again, hoping that next time, I won't wake up….to this. Better yet? I don't wake up at all, hell, anything's better than...this really.
...Hah? What am I even saying, of course it's better to wake up...I still have them after all…
….But at the end of the day, do they still have me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The days passed slowly as I was trapped in the fucking tent. Forced to listen to the moans and groans of the wounded, and forced to deal with the stuffiness of the damn tent, I almost went mad. At that point, the only thing that kept me sane was coffee, a pravda newspaper, and a cigarette break here and there.
Surprisingly, the first visitor that I got, despite all odds, was fucking Boris. I know, how fucking sad right?
His first visit, he didn't say anything, merely looking at me with pursed lips. And pained eyes to boot. He looked like he wanted to say something, but held back, opting not to confide in me. I don't blame him, I wouldn't confide in him either, or anyone really. Seriously, fuck em.
Sadly, the second visitor came in bad news. What bad news you may ask? Well the bad news that out of fucking everyone, that woman got captured. Even worse was the fact that the unit got a new captain. And a shady one from the looks of it.
How did I know this? Well it was quite simple, in war, when there's nothing to do, the soldiers inevitably begin to gossip, and naturally the juicer and bigger it is, the more it gets spread around. In short, the fuckers around me wouldn't shut the hell up and I was thus, forced to listen to them. Oh comrade this mysteriously bought the farm after speaking out against the new captain, or comrade that found himself mysteriously assigned to an entirely different unit for supposed "Insubordination."
Hah.
What a load of bull.
Hell, the craziest of them all was the topic that apparently, if the red army wanted that blasted woman back, they would have to hand over a Mig-23. Of course, it was all rumours, speculations. I mean, why the hell would they want a Mig? I mean, they weren't in the position to start playing around with an air force. What, did they want to establish aerial superiority over afghanistan or something? That's just absurd now as it was unbelievable.
But no, sadly, despite my hopes, the woman really did get captured, and worse? The two men gossiping about it were gone the next day, officially listed as KIA.
I didn't know what was happening, but one thing was for certain, I didn't like it. It was just too...suspicious. The woman, gone? A new captain replaces her just like that? No, it was too fast, almost like it was planned. The men? Being killed off, or finding themselves in an insulting position, or at least the ones that are speaking out against the fucker anyway.
The saddest and most worrying one was that absurd rumour that they were offering to exchange her back for a fucking MIG of all things. The fact that the two fuckers who loudly gossiped about it were now dead and most likely not going home in a casket didn't help ease my worries either, in fact, it added onto them.
The breaking point came a few days later.
Apparently, a shit load of people in Sofiya's unit were dying, or purged as the soldiers liked to call it. Men were either ending up dead at the slightest offense, or found themselves in prison, awaiting a military tribunal.
At some point, men were just purged for even being on the roster for her unit.
…
I was going to die. Whether I liked it or not. I just knew it. My gut screamed it, hell, the recent events screamed it. One way or another I was gonna end up on the list. It was only a matter of time.
...Should I just risk it? Hop on a truck and haul ass for as long as I can?
...No, that won't work. Apparently the new captain's got eye's around the whole fucking camp. One wrong move and I'll just die even faster.
Great, just fucking great! If she was still here, I wouldn't have to worry about this bull shit!
...Wait. If she was still here?
...No.
It wouldn't work, couldn't work.
...No.
But it could.
No.
This is the best worst scenario in a situation where there are only terrible scenarios.
Shut up.
You could do it.
I would be risking my life.
Your life is already at risk by just being here.
I don't even like her enough to even warrant something like that.
You don't have to.
I would die before I even got close to her.
But you still would have tried.
And? the result is me, dead in this terrible shithole of a country.
Hey, at least acted where men didn't. At least you struggled and tried to live.
I still have them to go back to!
And they don't have the "you" they want to go back to them.
Perhaps I can make a deal with this unit's new captain?
You know just as well as me that that won't work.
...Please, can you just shut up?
That's impossible, I'm you.
That's doubly impossible, I recall tossing all my empathy away when I executed those boys.
I'm not you're empathy though, I'm you're logic.
…
Oh? Finally silent now are we?
...If this is the logical side of me, I don't even want to know what that empathic fool is capable of.
We finally agree on something eh?
...I'm still gonna die even if I pull this off.
At least you'll die on your own terms, and in this land? That's gotta count for something.
Sigh.
Fuck it.
I glanced at the sentry posted outside the tent, someone new. Most likely under the new captains payroll. I glanced at the nurse. With a grimace, I signaled her over, with a request for water.
"Nurse! Water please!" I say with my weakest voice possible.
She notices my request and grabs a glass. With a quiet sigh, she grabs a nearby pitcher and fills up the glass. She makes my way to me at a decent pace with the glass. Making it to me in 10 seconds.
"Here." She says with a well practiced smile.
"Spasibo." I say with a grin, Komachi, dear sister I know you won't ever see this, but please forgive me for what I'm about to do next.
After I accept the glass, I wait for her to turn around. And when she does, I make my move. And with all the creepiness within my body, channel it into my hand and face as I grope her ass, surprising her with a yelp as she turns around in a millisecond.
Upon seeing my creepy smile, I promptly get slapped as she storms away, outrageous at that blatant act of sexual harassment and an invasion of her personal privacy.
"Heh!"
As expected, I hear a couple of chuckles from the nearby patients, both sympathetic and demeaning. But that's now what I'm looking for, A quick glance at the sentry's face made me relax a little. Great. He saw it. Now all I had to do was simply wait for an hour or two, and pray to god that I have at the very least, a modicum of acting skills to convince this fucker. Because? I'm dead if I can't convince him.
…
I haven't been this nervous ever since I asked out that one girl in middle school! Fuck!
… This isn't gonna work, I'm gonna die. I just know it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moonlight bled through the slightly ajar tent flaps as I steadily took a step towards the bored out of his mind sentry. My foot now adequately healed to the point that I was only supposed to stay here for a day or two, just to really make sure that I was absolutely 100 percent healed in contrast to them letting me go at 98%
…
Is this seriously the best I can come up with? What am I? A middle schooler? This shit is not gonna work. And you know the worst part? It's the only plan that I could come up with that even had the slightest, small notion of working. All the others would have had me shot within the second a word left my mouth.
Jesus fucking Christ I've turned into a desperate, fucking mad man now haven't I?
Sigh. I'm regretting with just even coming up with this stupid fucking plan. Well granted, it was instantaneous, on the spot. But come on me! I've come up with much better ones in desperate situations...Granted, none of them was..this, but you get the point.
...Sigh.
Pulling out a large wad of cash, I discreetly slapped it onto the sentry's hand and prayed to god that I was convincing enough to pull this off!
"I need to...visit the local city for an...appointment will you help me comrade?"
"..Why? Just use the portapotty." The sentry asked with a raised brow.
"Why use a hand when I can use a woman? Just help me comrade, and I'll help you."
"...Erm..I don't know-"
I shut him up as I slipped another wad of cash into his hand.
"I'll cover for you whenever you want, no questions asked."
"...Whenever?"
"Whenever, I just need this one favor, Hell, I'm pretty sure even if I did it in the porta potties, I'd still wake up the next morning with soiled trousers, If you catch my drift."
"..."
"You saw my little stunt earlier with that nurse didn't you? If she accepted my advances, I wouldn't have to resort to this." I say with a soft growl, showing him that I was displeased about the earlier incident.
"...My ass is on the line though." He protested weakly, now looking away from me.
"Think about it, You get a large amount of cash, And an owed favor, while I enjoy myself for a spell, it's a win win for both of us."
"Where did you even get this money?"
"Gambling, Along with a lack of anything really, to spend my pay on."
"..."
"Like I said, I'll owe you a pretty fucking big one. You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. Besides, no one will know, at the very least, I'll be done in an hour and come back. I just need help getting out and getting back in."
"Why me though?"
"Isn't it obvious? You're the only sentry posted here, If I'm gone, they'll question you, and then I'm done. So, what do you say eh?"
"..."
"..."
"I..I don't know comrade-"
"Fine, you win, here." I say as I hand him another wad of cash.
Gulping in response, he does the only sensible thing. Looks the other way and pockets it.
"Be back by 4."
"4? How about 5?"
"By 4." He said sternly, a serious look on his face now as he glares at me.
"...Fine, 4 it is then."
"You have a ride?"
"No, I was planning on getting a truck and driving when nobody was looking."
"Okay, first of all, that's a bad idea. Second, wait for a little bit." He said as he pulled out a walkie talkie. Something that only fueled my suspicions even further.
"...Ivan?" he spoke into the radio, in a hushed tone so as to not alert the sleeping patients around us.
"...What?" Cracked a voice from the other end of the line.
"Prepare a vehicle and tell Alexei and Yazov at the north end of the camp to let the said vehicle pass."
"...It's our ass on the line here, what's in it for us?"
"Why I'm glad you asked, I have just made a very wealthy friend, and he in turn, has just given me a small fortune in rubles. I can spit it evenly with all of you and still have a decent cut!"
"...Really?"
"Really. All he wants is just to go to town to have fun with a girl or two, you should have seen him earlier today, he grabbed the nurses ass and got the ship slapped out of him!"
"...Heh, I would have liked to see that."
"You should have!"
"Alright then, when will he be back?"
" By 4. A half hour before Alexei's and Yazov's shift ends. Will that do it for you?"
"...It'll do. But you better be speaking the truth about that small fortune bit!"
"Oh trust me Ivan, I could buy a house back home with this, It's quite a lot. And you and the boi's will have a cut of it if you do me and our friend this one favor."
"...Fine you win. But he must be back by 4, got it?"
"Roger."
With that, he nervously looks at me and digs into his pockets and pulls out yet another walkie talkie.
Handing it to me, He nervously looks me in the eyes and speaks.
"You go out by the north entrance, you go in through the north entrance, got it? This walkie talkie here is an extra precaution. Before you pull up into the camp, radio us and we'll know. Sorry, this is just an extra precaution, our aass's are on the line after all."
He said with a nervous smile, his eyes still darting around all over the damn place.
"The frequency is already set, you don't need to change it, got it?"
"Got it."
"Allright, then go. Quickly. The faster you are, the more time you get."
"...Spasibo comrade." I say with a forced, smug grin, a grin of comradery, a look to which he matched, to his own nervous smile.
And Just like that, I made my way to my next objective.
An even more impossible task.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...."
"FUCK! HOW THE HELL DID THAT FUCKING WORK?"
"THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE WORKED, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING REPORTED! AH! FUCK!"
"....Can't I….can't I ever be in control of anything anymore?"
"My fucking life has been spiraling out of control ever sense I was placed in this goddamn hell hole!"
"...FUCK!"
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!"
"SHIT!"
"WHAT EVEN IS LIFE ANYMORE?"
"..."
…..Sigh.
The engine softly rumbled in response to my mad ranting, uncaring for me or my situation. My shaky, sweaty nervous hands are tightly gripped on the steering wheel. My feet are still on the gas pedal as I seemingly drive to no destination in mind.
"..."
"Hah, just my luck, to be tossed the one thing that tied this entire plan all to-fucking-gether!"
"Great! I survived one impossible situation, now to get myself into another!" I exclaim to myself with a forced, mad chuckle. A chuckle of insanity and disbelief as I curse myself for even attempting this.
The worse thing? I can't even change plans and haul ass, I'll either be, a, caught by those fuckers and be made an example of and die, or b, get caught by the mp's and dragged into a prison, surely to await a trial and to be shot, lined up against the wall like a common rat.
…
No, this was the only fucking way.
And I hated myself for that.
"..."
Reluctantly, I picked up the walkie talkie and memorized the frequency that the sentry told me would keep me in contact with his friends.
With a shaky, unsteady breath, I fight against faith, and change the frequency to one that I know all too well, I changed it into the frequency of the enemies.
With an unsteady, desperate sigh, I steel myself as I pick it up and put it near my mouth.
"Hello? This…. Russian soldier..., I have deal for you." I see in my best, broken Farsi.
And just like that, the dice was rolled, and I surely, no doubt rode into the ruin, and the world's ending.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The truck came to a stop in front of the lightly wooded area, my shaky, sweaty hands slowly letting go of the driving wheel as I steel myself for just a moment before opening the fucking door.
Nervously, I finally stepped out after what seemed like an eternity, and braced for my all to foreseeable death.
Would this work, and I convince them? Most likely not, but it was the card I had left to play, and at this point, It was double or nothing.
…
Sigh.
With an unsteady step, I nervously make my way deeper towards the shrubbery and trees. They should be around here, And if, somehow are feeling merciful, would hear me out before no boudt shooting me.
Crunch, crunch.
The very few leaves upon the ground crunched underneath my boots as I walked over them, uncaring of it.
Finally, after a few moments of walking, I see it. A faint light, barely seeable as it was covered by shrubbery and trees, but still noticeable.
Hah, I was gonna die here wasn't I?
"Fuck it, not like I have much choice left." I muttered to myself as I force myself into the shrubbery, pushing my way through into the fucking bush.
What awaited me was the sight of at the very least, 2 dozen guns aimed straight at me, and two unarmed men sharing a smoke, One obviously an Afghan and the other not, I'd say an American if I had to bet on it, But hey, I was already betting on this fucking stupid ass plan of mine!
"Oh? My my my, I expected a greedy russian soldier hoping to make a quick buck by selling us weapons, only to be met by the very Beast of Panjishir himself! I must say sir, you've really caught us with our pants down this time.`` The American says in fluent Russian with a light chuckle, Eyeing me up and down now as the Afghan said nothing, merely studying me intently.
"Gentlemen, I would exchange pleasantries, but i'm very much afraid that I don't have the time to do so, so as such, I'd like to, oh yes, as the Americans like to say, get this over with." I reply in kind, gulping as I try to make a poker face.
"Oh? And do tell, what was so important, that you felt the need to call us here, o'mighty beast?" The American say's mockingly, looking at me with eyes full of disdain.
"...Sofiya Pavlovna, your forces recently captured her. I want her back." I say simply, eyeing both the men now and trying to appear and look confident, the key to winning any argument.
"...Sofiya who?" The American asked with a raised brow, looking at the Afghan man but merely getting a head shake in return.
"The Soviet captain that you guys captured a couple of days ago."
"...What?" The American asks in confusion, dumbfounded by my statements.
"The ambush you launched on us a couple of days ago, I was there and you captured her. I want her back."
"...What the hell are you on about?"
"Don't play games with me Sir, I know that you're forces attacked us a couple days ago just west of that fucking pass." I say with a low tone as I point as the distant pass without even needing to look at it.
"..." He says nothing now as he looks at me quizzically, before looking at his companion and speaking to him in much better Farsi than my own.
"..." His companion said nothing for a few moments before raising a brow at me, and replied in kind.
"He says his men never attacked you and your woman a couple of days ago, hell nobody was even there at the western side of the pass a couple days ago." The American translated in kind, looking at the pass now as he replied to me.
"I see, no less than one hundred men is "Nobody" Huh?"
"...What?"
"There were no less than one hundred men on that fucking site." I spit out venomously, tired and pissed at the same time.
"..."
"Very well, If you wish to play this game then I shall indulge you. "They" Are demanding a Mig-23 in exchange for her release."
"The hell? A MIG? They would never demand something like that!" The American sputtered in protest, seemingly shocked by the absurd demand.
Looking at the other guy, He merely shook his head and was about to say something before being cut off by him.
"Did you lose the Rifle that general Massoud gifted you?" He asked in Farsi, Short and concise...Well short enough that I can roughly understand what he meant by it.
"..Yes."
"..."
"...I know who the culprit is." The man said after a thoughtful pause, looking at me now with an intrigued look upon his face. A look that made me regret even attempting to pull this stunt off even more!
"...What will it take?" I asked in Farsi, not wasting a single second.
"....-" He was about to answer, before being interrupted by angry shouts and yelling.
Looking behind me, I'm greeted by the sight of one very pissed off Boris, being forced at gunpoint to walk towards us.
"Yuri! I knew you were a rat the moment I saw-" He managed to sputter out before I cut him off, equally pissed.
He just ruined a major point in the plan...But perhaps I can make this work.
"Shut up Idiot! I'm helping you get your precious "Kapitan" Back. So shut your fat mouth and let me talk!" I hissed at him, much to the amusement of the two enemies in front of me.
"...We...Will require 1000 ak47's, along with 10,000 rounds and 500 grenades." The American speaks now, with a mocking grin as he looks at Boris's shocked expression.
"..." Somehow managing to hold back, he says nothing as he grits his teeth in frustration and anger.
"..." I looked at the American and his companion in silence now, a thousand different thoughts racing through my mind now as I eye them warily.
"...Why?" I ask, this was going well, a little two well. I don't like this one fucking bit.
"...We hold no love for the men who stole your woman." The Afghan man replied, crossing his arms as he leaned against a tree now.
"Those National revolutionary party of Afghanistan remnants are... out of control."
"Rumors have it that they also have some Russian support. Whatever in Allah's name that means."
"But the worst thing is, they kill anybody they get their hands on. Even fellow Afghans who have total, absolute faith in Allah. This, I cannot let go unpunished."
"..."
"That monster leading the remnants bragged, you know? Saying that he had acquired the rifle of the Beast...What a fool."
....
I barely understood the man, But nonetheless got what he was trying to say. He held no love for the guys who captured Sofiya either.
"...You will…. get your... weapons. Just...help me...get her back." I say slowly and confidently, not sure If I worded the sentence right in Farsi.
"..."
"..."
"Heh. The rumours do you discredit."
"..."
"They say that you only know how to fight, they don't ever say that you are just as foolish either."
"It was already foolish of me to be fighting in the first place."
"...Hah! It seems that you have a little bit of logic mixed in that mind of yours as well!"
"..."
"But I digress. We shall help you once we get half the supplies we demand of you."
"..You will…. get them."
"We better."
"...Do I have.... your word ….that you WILL get her…. back?" I ask with a raised brow, skeptical at how well this was...going.
"...I'm not gonna lie, I hate.....you. But I hate...the fact.....that SHE'S....gone. I just might.....die if she isn't..... back soon…"
"You ….should hate me ….as well, considering…. the fact that I...switched sides ….to fight for the Russians."
"...They killed my daughter, just because her husband was separated from her in the Bazar." The man says after a long pause, his eyes flashing with rage and contempt for just the briefest of seconds, pure, unadulterated anger and hatred.
"..." I say nothing as I gulp, who would have thought, a man so unalike me in every conceivable way possible would sport the same kind of eyes that I had?
"..." He says nothing now as he studies my features.
"...Very well, it seems that we both have a stake in this."
"Indeed we do."
"Who's…. the man…. next to ….you? American?" I ask, gesturing my head to the American, to which he raised an intrigued brow in response.
"CIA." He says with a smooth grin.
Sigh.
Pulling out the cigarette from my front shirt pocket, I notice his gaze and offer him one, to which he accepts with a satisfied grin.
Putting my own Smoke stick in my mouth, I pull out a lighter and light both of our lung cancer sticks, enjoying the rush of tobacco entering our lungs as a result.
"My men aren't going to like this." he finally said after a short pause, wistfully watching the already dispersing smoke.
"The Russians won't either." I reply as I take a drag, my eyes already closed as I imagine the fallout of my actions.
"Hah!"
"Yep."
"..."
"I'm...surprised…. that the American…. isn't objecting to ….your... decision."
"Eh, as long as we undermine the soviets, it's okay. Besides, he doesn't like the remnants either."
"...What state are you from American?" I ask in english, looking at the CIA agent curiously now.
"...You know english?" He asked with a confused look, a look that had the mixture of shock and interest.
"...A little."
"...Heh, I suppose it can't hurt to tell you… I'm from new york. And I'm damned proud of it." He said with a grin, a grin full of pride and nostalgia.
"Oh, new york? So you've seen the towers-" Ah, Yabai. Shit, that was close, holy fuck!
"The towers? Oh, you mean the trade centers? Quite a sight aren't they?~" He replied with a happy, remembering smile.
"..Yes, I would have loved to visit America to see them."
"Just the towers?" He asked with a raised brow.
"No, I would have loved to visit Texas as well, see those cowboys. California for the golden gate bridge, and Wyoming for yellowstone." I say, repeating the things that Johnny told me about his country. For what it was worth though, the way he spoke about them, the glint in his eyes kinda did make me want to see them, just once though. Just once.
"Hah! Sorry to break it to you buster! But cowboys are long gone."
"Then I suppose I will have to settle for that...What was it again?...Southern hospital?"
"HAH! I think you mean Southern hospitality there buster!"
"...Yes, I did."
"Hah! No need to be embarrassed! For what it's worth, your english is pretty good!"
"...I'll take the compliment."
"Heh, despite the fact that you slaughtered so many soviets back in panjshir, you're pretty shameless huh?"
"Shame means nothing in the face of victory, that was one of the first things I have leaned from this war."
"Hah! You did it again! It's learned, not lean numbnuts!"
"...Wat?"
"Huh?"
"What is a numbnuts?"
"....Er…"
"..Hoo boy." He muttered under his breath as he let out a tired sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"..."
"..."
"Who are you?" The deep voice belonging to Boris seemed to reverberate throughout the truck as we had initially driven back to base in silence.
"Pft, you should be asking how in the hell we're not both fucking dead."
"We'll both be if you don't explain to me what exactly is happening."
"Sigh, I already told you, didn't I? Get half a thousand ak47's, 5000 rounds and 250 grenades, else, we most likely won't get your Kapitan back in time before we both get our ass's purged."
"But-"
"Wait, now that I think about it, where the hell did you pop up from?"
"I saw you get into the truck, so I sneaked into the back."
"Ugh, creepy."
"You have no right to say that considering how you act everyday."
"Whatever."
"How do you know them, hell, how did you even contact them?"
"Guess."
"You do know I can rat you out to the entire unit right?"
"And risk your chance to save your Kapitan? I don't think so."
"And what makes you think that?"
"There are rats in the camp."
"Yeah, you."
"I don't mean me dumbass, I'm talking about the new replacement captain."
"..."
"You're not dumb, I know that you know that something's up with the bastard."
"You've never even met him face to face."
"Doesn't change the fact that I know a rat when I sense one."
"..." A heavy silence fills the truck as I continue driving, With Boris studying my features intently now as I focus on the road.
"Why?"
"..."
"I know for a fact that you despise the Kapitan, so why?"
"..."
"So why? Why even risk doing...this? Why risk getting shot just for her?"
"..."
"..."
"...Because under her command I know that I won't die, under her command I know that I won't be, as the other soldiers around camp call it, "Purged." "
"...There was a chance you wouldn't have been purged."
"I'd rather not risk it."
"You're risking it all here."
"If I don't, I just might die."
"You'll die anyway, if I report you."
"You won't though. We both know that this is our best and only plausible chance for getting her out of enemy hands."
"We could always accept their demands."
"Yeah, and hand over a MIG-23? Yeah, I don't think so."
"I mean, what would they even do with it?"
"If they asked for it, that means they have a plan involving it. If they didn't, they would have asked for their own men that we hold captive back, not a fucking MIG-23 dumbass."
"..."
"..."
A heavy silence falls in the truck as I continue driving silently, with Boris apparently contemplating on something. Not that I care or anything, I'm more than pleased with the current silence, it gives me more time to focus on how to fucking make this shit even work.
Let's be honest here, this shouldn't have worked. I should have been shot dead on the spot, any sane man would never work with a traitor like me. And yet, they held fire and agreed to help me, like come on, even to the most trusting person on this godforsaken planet, this would seem even a little bit suspicious!
But no, they would rather help me undermine their own supposed allies then work with them over such a little thing as a single death. Now sure, granted it's a tragedy to what happened to his daughter, but this is war, and at the end of the day? The death of many is just a damned statistic.
"...GRU." Boris said suddenly and abruptly, cutting me out of my thoughts as I glanced at him through the sides of my eyes.
"..What makes you think that?" I asked simply, not letting any emotion into my voice whatsoever."
"You're not KGB, If you were, Then we would all already be dead."
"Why thank you for the compliment."
"..."
"...A replacement from a wiped out squad, suddenly appearing and saving the Kapitan from a sniper's bullet...It all seems so..specific, so artificial, almost like it's written straight out of a story. Wouldn't you say so?"
"..Well, you're right about one thing at least."
"So, in regards to that, I must ask again, who. are. you?"
"...Hah."
"..."
"I'm just a replacement. And just like a replacement, I'll disappear soon, or wish I had disappeared, only to end up disappearing anyway."
"..."
"Hell, I wanna disappear right now, Leave this, and just go home."
"..."
"But I can't, not while this shit is happening."
"..Say, can I ask you to do something?"
"...What?"
"Are you in, or not? I could always just pretend that you never stalked me. It's a good situation, I get to try and pull off this suicidal plan and you pretend it never happened...Well, not like I care or anything. I'm still doing this shit."
"..."
"..As much as I hate you, I hate the new captain even more. You read him right, he is a rat. He's sent any man who even has the balls to speak out against him, either to hell, or to prison."
"I know full well what he's planning for the rest of us, and I don't intend to stick around and find out… I'll speak to the rest of the boy's about this. But suffice to say, I'm in, the boys will definitely be in….For now."
"Clever man, You should never trust a guy like me."
"You got that right. We still don't know you. And honestly? We'd rather not."
"Oh what a coincidence! I also hate your guts along with the entire unit as well! This will be such a jolly good ole swell time!" I say mockingly, taking a jab at him metaphorically speaking.
"...I hate you."
"I hate you too dude."
I say nonchalantly as I took a drag with one hand, the other still on the steering wheel.
Despite the tobacco, I was still getting one huge ass headache.
Seriously, what is this? Why did something with such a low success rate succeed so spectacularly? Were the fates being kind to me? Or were they simply toying with me, enjoying my suffering as I try to desperately do the one thing I've been trying to do this entire time.
Live.
Hah.
This shit is ass.