'Panlee... today I'm going to play the zither at the Faculty of Fine Arts conference room. Are you free to come and watch?'
[What time will Khun Glai start playing?]
'Three in the afternoon.'
[Okay, I'll leave the house in the afternoon. Right now, I'm still at home.]
'Panlee... are you okay? Why do you sound a little off?'
[...]
'If there's something bothering you, you can talk to me. I'm always here to listen.'
[Just a while ago, Mom called to say that Dad fainted and fell at the hotel...]
'And, how is Dad doing now?'
[Dad is at the hospital... Mom said Dad's condition has improved.]
'But you can't help but worry, right?'
[Yes.]
'Things like this can't be helped, I understand... but at least Dad is now under the care of doctors. He will be safe, trust me, Panlee.'
[I trust you, GlaiJai.]
'...'
[P'Fah said he would fly to Hong Kong tomorrow to see Dad's condition. If I didn't have exams tomorrow, I'd probably go too.]
'This exam matter can hardly be postponed. If the professor is kind, you might be able to reschedule.'
[This professor is really strict and doesn't listen to much.]
'Then how about going after your exam? Finish tomorrow's exam, and then go.'
[I'll have to think about it.]
'Okay...'
[...]
'Panlee... I mean this seriously. If you're still feeling uneasy, you don't have to come to the open house. Just stay home and rest until you feel better.'
[...]
'I'll ask Pie to record a video of me playing the zither so you can watch later.'
[No need, really. I still have to help my friends at the booth anyway. Honestly... Rak also told me to rest at home, just like you did, Khun Glai.]
'See? Everyone's really worried about you, Panlee.'
[I know...]
'...'
[I'll wait for another call from Mom. She said she'd update Dad's condition around noon. Then, in the afternoon, I'll come find you.]
'Alright...'
[...]
'Panlee...'
[Yes?]
'If anything happens, call me anytime, okay?'
[Okay.]
The morning conversation between him and Panlee echoed in his head again. Glai sighed while handing out the last brochure to the students walking past the faculty archway before walking to sit and rest under the big tree in that area. He had just come to help his friends welcome the students at ten o'clock because May and Pie told him to take another dose of medicine and get some sleep. Both of them would take responsibility for the duties of the reception head instead of him. Glai therefore got to rest a bit more before rushing to help all his friends at the open house.
His almond-shaped eyes glanced at the watch on his wrist, which showed exactly noon. Glai took his phone out of his pocket to call someone he was worried about. However, after waiting on the line for minutes without an answer from Panlee, Glai decided to go to Panlee's house. Panlee had given him the address once before. The small-framed man stood up straight before walking towards Pie, who was talking to a student near the department booth, to inform her of his plans to visit Panlee.
"Pie..."
"What is it, Glai?"
"I'm going to visit Panlee at home for a bit... can you let May know for me?"
"Is Panlee's Dad not getting better, Glai?" Pie asked with a concerned expression, as Glai had told her about the situation earlier when he arrived at the university.
"I'm not sure yet... but Panlee hasn't answered my calls."
"Then go ahead. I'll handle everything here."
"Thanks so much, Pie..."
"No problem."
"You don't have to come to see Lee... I've come to see you instead."
As soon as he heard the familiar voice of someone behind him, Glai's heart, which had been trembling with worry, started to beat even faster. He knew it wasn'tbecause of embarrassment but rather...
He was relieved Panlee was okay.
Glai turned toward the voice behind him and saw Panlee walking up to him with a bright smile. Glai let out a quiet sigh as Panlee's large hand reached out to gently pat his head, as if to comfort his trembling heart.
"Panlee... why didn't you answer your phone? I was so worried."
"I'm sorry for making you worry so much... when you called, I was arguing with P'Fah."
"..."
"Can we find somewhere to sit and talk?"
"Alright, sure."
"Pie... can I borrow GlaiJai for a moment?"
"You can take him~"
Panlee smiled and nodded slightly before wrapping one arm around his neck and leading him away from the area. Glai walked silently beside the taller figure without saying a word. He glanced at the side profile of the other. Even though they didn't make direct eye contact and he didn't know the other person's feelings through his eyes, Glai could feel that the person was uncomfortable.
Because he's the person I love.
How could I not know something like this?
"Panlee!"
Not only did the owner of the name turned to look at the voice calling him, but he, who was in the taller person's embrace, also turned to look. A handsome man from the architecture booth was walking toward them with a friendly smile. Both Panlee and he stopped to wait for the newcomer.
"Hey..."
"I heard that on Monday you went and beat up Mek from engineering?"
Glai frowned deeply upon hearing that question from what seemed to be Panlee's friend from another faculty. When he looked up at the owner of the muscular arm around his neck, he saw Panlee lifting a finger to his lips, signalling the friend to stop talking about this.
"Puppy... is it true?"
"I-I don't know... I'm sorry, Lee."
Panlee let out a deep sigh while looking at his friend from another faculty. But when he turned and saw Glai glaring at him, he quickly broke into a wide smile. Glai knew Panlee was trying to cover up with that bright smile.
"What your friend said... is it true, puppy?"
The little puppy being interrogated pressed his lips together before nodding slightly.
"It's true."
When Panlee admitted the truth, Glai, who had never noticed anything unusual about him before, began scanning him. He noticed faint bruises on the back of Panlee's right hand. It was visible because Panlee had his right arm wrapped around Glai's neck.
Glai wasn't surprised he only noticed the bruise now. From what he'd heard, the incident with Mek happened on Monday, but on Tuesday, the two of them didn't see each other all day. And yesterday, when they did meet, Glai had fallen asleep for hours. By the time he woke up, Panlee had to leave, so he barely noticed anything.
"I think I should go... Once you two finish discussing, you can tell me all about it later."
"You're such a jerk,Peh... Dropping a bomb and then leaving."
Panlee's friend from another faculty gave them a sheepish smile before heading back to the architecture booth. Glai looked up at Panlee again. The taller one raised an. eyebrow and made a playful face as if nothing had happened.
"I think we need to find a place to talk, Khun Sasin."
"Will Sasin be executed this time?"
"Let me hear Khun Sasin's reasons first before deciding."
"Khun Glai, you're so small..." Panlee paused and then gave him a dramatic look.
"...But why are you so scary when you're scolding me?"
"You're not really scared, Panlee..."
The listener burst out laughing after hearing that, confirming Glai's words were true.The smaller figure shook his head slightly before loosening Panlee's arm from his neck and instead held his hand. Glai led the taller one toward the parking lot, where it was less crowded.
"Come on, puppy, tell me everything that happened..." he said softly when they stopped in front of his car. "And after we talk about this, we'll continue talking about your father."
The taller man gave a faint smile as he looked at Glai. He crossed his arms before letting his hips rest against the hood of the car. Panlee made him feel that the one who was about to be scolded wasn't him, but Glai.
"I've never seen you lose your temper like this before, Khun Glai.
"..."
"Even though you're speaking in your usual tone, but..."
Panlee stopped mid-sentence when Glai stepped closer to him. Their eyes met for just a moment before Glai rested his head on Panlee's broad shoulder. He thought this might be the only way to calm himself down.
Yes... Glai admitted that he was exactly as Panlee said. Normally, he wasn't a hot- headed person at all, and very few people had seen this side of him. For someone to make him feel like this, they must have a lot of influence over his emotions. Like Panlee, who made him so worried that he wanted to cry.
"...I'm really worried about you, Panlee."
"..."
"I'm worried about everything, about your father, who might be troubling you, about the fight you got into that left you hurt, and about how many other things I don't even know about."
Glai spoke softly as he wrapped both arms around Panlee's neck. Panlee, who had his arms crossed earlier, loosened his arms to hug him back. Glai closed his eyes as Panlee gently stroked his head before pressing his nose against his shoulder.
"Calm down, okay?"
"..."
"I'm here now. I'm fine."
"..."
"I'm sorry for not telling you about the fight with Mek... I just didn't want you to worry."
"The less you tell me, the more I worry."
"Even if I told you, you wouldn't be able to handle it."
"Of course not... Who wants to see the person they love get hurt?"
"Huh?... What did you just say?"
Glai sighed softly, biting his lip and shaking his head slightly. "Nothing..."
"You love me a lot, don't you?... That's why you're so worried."
Glai thought it was about time Panlee knew the truth, the truth about how long he had been secretly watching over him and the truth about how he had loved Panlee even before they got to know each other.
"Panlee... after the Open House event..."
"..."
"Will you come to my condo? There's something I want to tell you."
"Sure. After the event, I'll drop by home to take care of something, then I'll come to you."
"Okay..." Glai let go of the hug and met Panlee's gaze. Then he said, "But for now, you need to tell me why you got into a fight with Mek."
Panlee, who had his arms loosely wrapped around his waist, said in a pleading tone,
"Can I tell you everything at the condo instead?"
"Why?"
"Because it's a long story."
No matter how curious Glai was, he chose to nod in agreement. "But we don't have to wait until the condo to talk about Dad, right?"
Panlee smiled and nodded lightly. "A moment ago, Dad called and was laughing with me... there's nothing to worry about now."
"That's a relief..." Glai said, exhaling softly.
"So, what time do you need to prepare in the conference room, Khun Glai?"
Panlee's question made him glance at his watch. "In twenty minutes, I need to meet the seniors in the conference room to rehearse with everyone again."
"Oh..."
"I have something for you, Panlee..."
Glai said, pulling his car keys from his pocket. As soon as he unlocked the car with the remote, Panlee loosened his arm from around Glai's waist, freeing him. Glai opened the driver's side door and leaned in to retrieve a lanyard from the console. He held up the orange badge with the English word 'Staff' printed on it for Panlee to see before speaking.
"The seniors told me... if anyone wants to bring their partner to watch the performance, they should give them this badge."
"..."
"And then the partner can queue at the conference room entrance as usual. When the staff at the entrance sees this badge, they'll escort them to sit close to the stage."
"So the partner can see their partner up close, right?"
"No... the future partner can see me up close instead."
Panlee chuckled softly before saying, "No slip-ups... no misses with this one."
Glai laughed and scrunched his nose at him. "This puppy is desperate to be my partner, huh?"
"You already know that... but you still make me suffer like this."
"It won't be long now... maybe not even twenty-four hours."
"Are you serious, or just bluffing? If you're bluffing, I'm going to pinch your cheeks till they bruise."
Glai laughed heartily as Panlee pointed at him and squinted, trying to squeeze the truth out of him. "You're not pinching my cheeks, Panlee."
"Little rascal..."
Glai grinned widely, his eyes crinkling with delight as he handed the badge to Panlee. However, Panlee didn't take it, instead folding his arms and lowering his head. Glai smiled and gently placed the lanyard around Panlee's neck.
"All set."
Panlee looked up to meet his gaze, then glanced down at the badge hanging around his neck. "I have to go show this off to that friend Peh. Otherwise, he won't believe I managed to settle things with Khun Glai."
Glai laughed before saying, "Panlee..."
"Yes?"
He took a deep breath as he locked eyes with the taller one, who was beaming with joy. Perhaps it was because Glai couldn't bear to see him troubled or hurt again that he decided to say something. "I know how deeply we feel about each other..."
"..."
"It's more than just good feelings now... it's not just that anymore."
Instead of Glai looking deeply into Panlee's eyes, it was Panlee who tried to look deeply into his. Glai didn't avert his gaze as he continued, determined to protect Panlee's smile and happiness.
This moon...
Will never be alone in the sky.
And will shine brightly forever...
"Because what we feel for each other is more than that... I want you to tell me everything, Panlee."
"..."
"No matter if it's something that makes me worry to no end... or something that
might break my heart."
"... "
"But please tell me... because in the end, I believe my feelings for you won't change."
Panlee didn't respond, lowering his eyes to his hands instead. Glai reached out to gently hold his hand, softly running his fingers over the bruise on the back of it.
"..."
"Does it hurt?"
"It doesn't hurt."
"But when I saw this bruise... it hurt me a lot."
"..."
"Because I'm afraid it won't stop here... I'm afraid you'll get hurt even more."
Panlee stared at him before pulling Glai into a tight embrace. Glai hugged him back and rubbed his hand soothingly over Panlee's back. Panlee pressed a kiss to his shoulder before softly saying,
"No one can hurt me, Khun Glai..."
"..."
"But I'm sorry for making you worry this much... I know how much you care about
me."
"..."
"But I didn't think it would hurt you so much."
"... "
Glai smiled faintly before saying, "There really is such a thing, loving until it hurts, worrying until it aches". "It's not just you who has to tell me everything... I'll tell you everything too."
"..."
"No matter if it's something that makes you lose faith in me or something that changes how you feel about me..."
"..."
"After we talked about certain things at the condo... I won't hide anything from Panlee anymore."
Panlee continued holding him in an embrace, nodding lightly as if agreeing to something. "After tonight... I won't hide anything from you anymore, Khun Glai."
"Let's try together, Panlee... try for us."
"Alright."
Glai knew Panlee understood the meaning of the word 'us' very well. He believed that the two of them would do everything to preserve the essence of 'us.'
Because in the word 'us,' there were crucial components for the two of them.
The word 'us' included Panlee.
And the word 'us' included GlaiJai.
Thus, they would do everything possible to protect each other.
🌙🌙🌙
Panlee accompanied GlaiJai to the conference room of the Faculty of Fine Arts, as Glai needed to rehearse with others before the actual performance. After that, Panlee drove off to buy flowers for GlaiJai, intending to present him with a big bouquet after the performance.
Fortunately, there were several flower shops around the university.
Ding-ding
The sound of a bell rang as the tall figure pushed open the glass door and stepped inside. Panlee quickly walked toward a woman he assumed to be the shop owner and spoke.
"I'd like a bouquet of flowers, please."
"Do you have any specific preferences?"
"Does the shop have examples I can choose from?"
"Yes, please wait a moment."
"Alright."
Panlee glanced around the shop while the owner went to retrieve something from the counter. Soon, she handed him a pink album. Panlee took it and flipped through the images of various bouquets until he found one he liked. The bouquet he chose for GlaiJai consisted mostly of pink lilies, with a few white flowers mixed in. Panlee frowned slightly as he examined the picture.
"Would you like any adjustments to this bouquet?"
"Can you make it bigger?"
"Oh, sure. Would doubling the size in the picture be okay?"
"Could it be four times the size?"
"Four times?"
"Yes. Is that not possible?"
"Oh, it's possible, but it would be quite large. I mean..."
She looked around the shop as if searching for a way to explain the size comparison.
"... To put it simply, if I hold the bouquet you ordered, it would completely cover my face."
Panlee chuckled lightly before responding. "Alright, let's go with that size."
"Okay..." she replied, smiling at him. Panlee guessed she had probably never made a bouquet that large before.
"Will it take long?"
"What time do you need it by?"
"Three in the afternoon. I forgot to ask earlier. If it's too large and takes too long, you can reduce the size."
"It'll be ready! I'll call my staff to help. Don't worry, it'll be done in time."
"Alright. Then, I'll go wait in front of the shop. I just need to smoke a cigarette."
"Okay."
After getting her approval, Panlee stepped outside. He pulled out a white cigarette from his shirt pocket, followed by a lighter from the back pocket of his pants. Once the cigarette was lit, the tall figure took a deep drag, filling his lungs with nicotine. White smoke floated up. Soaring through the air as Panlee looked up and set them free.
He looked at the light smoke that looked like morning mist and thought of GlaiJai's words. 'There really is such a thing, loving until it hurts, worrying until it aches.'
Panlee wholeheartedly believed such feelings were genuine.
Because he had felt that way before...
He had felt that way for GlaiJai.
Panlee guessed what GlaiJai might say to him tonight, but what Glai probably didn't know was that, besides the matter of dealing with Mek, Panlee had something else he wanted to share. Since GlaiJai had asked to be told everything today, Panlee decided it was time to reveal everything to him.
And Panlee thought the time had come...
The time for GlaiJai to finally know...
That Panlee had loved him for a long time.
That Panlee loved him until his heart hurts.
"Hey... Panlee, what are you doing at a flower shop?"
Panlee shifted his gaze from the azure sky and looked down at someone addressing him. It was Wit, a high school friend who now studied in the business faculty at the same university, standing before him.
"I'm standing in front of a flower shop. Do you expect me to be buying Smokey Bites here?"
"Haha... I was just asking."
"Ask something more sensible, like with some thought behind it, not just random remarks."
"Geez, way to shut me down completely."
"And you? Are you here to buy flowers for your girlfriend?"
"Yeah."
"See? That's an example of a thoughtful question."
"The point is you just wanted to show off that you have a boyfriend now, right?"
"Well, since you already know, at least ask about it. I want to show off!"
"Wit"s laughter came with a shake of his head before he asked, "Panlee... are you buying flowers for your boyfriend?"
"Yeah... a big bouquet, you jerk." At that moment, he could only apologize to GlaiJai in his mind for claiming the rights of being a boyfriend.
"Haha... you're really showing off."
Panlee chuckled, admitting that he was very proud of his future boyfriend, GlaiJai.
"..."
"Panlee, you don't even need to show off. You're practically walking around campus with that person every day. Who wouldn't know?"
"..."
"And with a loudmouth friend like Boss in the university... he's been spreading news about you being the puppy of that aviation student for ages now."
"..."
"But since I ran into you, let me ask directly... Are you really his puppy?"
"I refuse to answer... because you guys are jerks." Panlee knew if he told the truth, his hellish friends wouldn't stop teasing him.
"Then, what if... what's that aviation student's name again?"
"GlaiJai..."
"Yeah, and what if GlaiJai asks if you're really his puppy?"
Just hearing the name 'GlaiJai' stirred up Panlee's instincts. "Yes, sir, Khun GlaiJai."
"Hah... you're his slave, aren't you?"
"And you're not a slave to your wife?"
"Of course I am, sir... I love Khun Cake and only Khun Cake."
"Idiot. Finally admitting it?"
"I admit to everyone, bro."
"Except to the wife."
"Exactly... or else I'd be crying my eyes out."
Panlee laughed and shook his head in disbelief. He never imagined he'd end up in this state.
"I'm completely done for."
"Panlee, trust me..." Wit said, taking the cigarette from Panlee's hand. He took a puff, inhaling nicotine, and lightly shook his head before speaking with smoke billowing from his mouth. "...We can fall apart even more."
"..."
"When the wife starts being sweet... you'll be like..."
"..."
"Completely senseless... wanting to sell your house and car just to make him happy."
"..."
"And when he gets upset... you'll be like..."
"..."
"Frustrated, restless, unable to focus... you'll do anything to make him stop being upset."
"..."
"That's when you're truly done for."
"..."
"And you, you're just getting started."
Panlee looked at Wit, standing there smoking his cigarette. Normally, he didn't believe much of what his friend said, but this time, Panlee believed him. He was already starting to see his own future.
"..."
"And when you two finally belong to each other..."
"..."
"If you fight and he tells you to sleep on the sofa... tears will reach your feet for sure."
"You jerk! Can you not hype it up?"
"I'm not hyping it up! It's personal experience!"
"Give me back my cigarette, you jerk!" Panlee said, snatching the cigarette back from Wit. He placed it between his lips and took a hard drag in frustration. Just imagining the day they were together, and he accidentally made GlaiJai so angry that he wouldn't let him cuddle up... the veins in his brain felt like they were constricting, making his temples throb.
"Better behave yourself, Panlee."
"..."
"Or else you'll end up crying like a dog."
"I won't be like you."
Wit laughed lightly before saying, "I've talked enough. Let me go order some flowers now."
"Just go..."
Panlee watched Wit walk away laughing. But shortly after, he returned with a shocked expression, blinking rapidly before saying, "That ridiculously huge bouquet is yours, right?"
"Have a house, sell the house. Have a car, sell the car."
Wit burst out laughing at his response, patting him lightly on the shoulder as if consoling him. "I think you're way past the starting point... you've gone too far already."
"I"ve gone all the way to the moon, you jerk..."
"Haha... completely done for, my friend."
Panlee couldn't deny it. All he could do was stand there smoking in silence, listening to Wit's laughter. Wit had probably wanted to see him love someone so much that he'd do anything for him for a long time.
In truth, it wasn't just Wit who wanted to see it.
Their other friends probably wanted to see it too.
His dad, mom, P'Fah, and nanny probably wanted to see it as well.
And even Panlee himself wanted to see it.
And now, Panlee had become everything to GlaiJai...