He came back after months... No call, no warning, no time to process and prepare for it
It was too soon. I hadn't fully gotten over the last disappointment.. I was too young to get over it that fast...
One second the house felt hollow and suffocating since he left and another he was back smiling like he had never left
By then I thought I had gotten over it... I told myself so many times I was done hoping... I had cried myself to sleep at once whispering to myself that he was gone and I needed to get over it....I had tried to be strong and pretend that it was okay and over time I had convinced myself that it really was
I had built walls around my heart.... I stopped replaying the last time I saw him in my head
But they say hope is stubborn... The moment I saw him I knew it was all an illusion....
I wasn't truly over it... His familiar face.... A literal reflection of myself
He looked so much like me and it caught me off guard every single time I saw him
His familiar smell of food covered up with his flowery perfume
It was quite unusual for males to use flowery perfumes but it made it even more endearing
My dad was different but he was mine
"hey Stephanie" he said
I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat fast enough to reply
I just stared
The questions were burning on my tongue... Where had he gone? Did I do something wrong?? but I didn't ask
I forced the best smile I could manage and told myself this was my second chance and I can't afford to blow it
He took me from home just like last time.... The drive was silent. I didn't have anything to say
My head was clouded with all the different emotions
I kept on glancing at him trying to see if there was something different to assure me that this time was different
He was going to stay this time
He drove and hummed old songs while I watched him hoping he would stay this time
But they say hope is fragile... And it shattered before the night was over.
When we got back home my mum was at home
I ran up to her and hugged her so tight
I haven't seen her for a long time now but I understood she was busy with work
"Now that she's here we're like a complete family🥹"
I thought
I felt so happy my cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling
For the first time in months I fell asleep without trying to find peace
When I woke up I walked around looking for my parents
"parents" I smiled again
I hadn't found them... Did they leave???
I panicked
But it was better if they had left.... Because them leaving can't beat the pain I left when I overheard them...
I was about to turn the corner and check the backyard...
How cute would it be if I found them playing with the chickens... " I would teach them how to feed the chickens" I thought
Then I heard it.
My mum's voice
"Why are you here???!" " You can't keep using her like this" "I'm never coming back to you."
Then his
"You know this has nothing to do with you and I babes... I love you... So much."
"She ruined this. I didn't want a girl and you know that."
"I thought maybe if you saw how I took care of that thing you would come back and we'd have a proper child. A male." "Females aren't worth the stress I've been irritated all week."
I knew she said something....but I didn't stick around to hear it