Title: "Mya vs. Orochimaru – The Unhinged Wisdom Dump"
[Scene: Konoha Research Facility – A Chance Encounter]
Orochimaru stood in a dimly lit corridor, muttering to himself about cellular degeneration and the limitations of mortal flesh—when a small shadow appeared at his feet.
Mya (tilting her head): "It's okay to talk to yourself… and okay to answer yourself." (pauses) "But it's sad when you have to repeat what you said because you weren't listening."
[Orochimaru's Reaction]
· First: His golden eyes snapped to her, pupils thinning to slits.
· Then: A slow, unnerving smile stretched across his face. "…And what do you know of listening, little one?"
· Finally: His tongue slithered out. "Or of immortality?"
Mya (unfazed): "If you're after immortality… my aunt once said during the Warring States era, there was a clan of only women."
[Orochimaru's Posture Shifted – Like a Predator Sensing Prey.]
Mya (continuing): "They all looked the same when they reached adulthood. Stopped aging. But they died if iron or steel even scratched them."
· Orochimaru's Breath Hitched. His fingers twitched—desperate to take notes.
Mya: "Their enemies enslaved them for their blood. But another clan joined in. In the end… only one woman survived. Trapped in an iron cage." (leans in) "And one of the ones who enslaved her clan is still keeping watch over it."
[Silence. Thick. Hungry.]
Then—
Orochimaru (voice dangerously soft): "…Where did your aunt hear this?"
Mya (shrugging): "Dunno. She's dead now."
[Orochimaru's Brain Short-Circuited.]
· First: His eye twitched.
· Then: His smile turned feral. "What a delicious story."
· Finally: He crouched to her height, voice a whisper. "Tell me more."
Mya (blinking): "Nah. I'm hungry. Bye!" (skips off)
[The Aftermath]
· Orochimaru spent weeks obsessively researching the "Iron-Vulnerable Clan."
· Danzo later found him digging near the Land of Iron's borders, hissing about "cages."
· Mya was banned from the Research Facility after Orochimaru demanded she be "questioned further."
[Final Scene: Mya's Victory]
Tsunade (drinking sake): "You what?!"
Mya (smiling): "I just talked to him."
Fugaku (deadpan): "You traumatized a Sannin."
THE END.
(Mya's Greatest Power: Casually Derailing Villains With Folklore and Sass.)
🐍 Orochimaru is now haunted by the idea of an iron-caged immortal woman. 🐍