The mirror hated me, i swear. My eyeliner was sharp enough to kill a man, but my hair wouldn't tease right, and the pink bow I clipped in looked like it was fighting for its life. I groaned, snatching another can of hairspray off the cluttered vanity in my room, posters of My Chemical Romance, Pierce the Viel, and neon stars plastered behind me like the inside of my brain exloded.
"Perfect," I mutteref after one last spritz. Not actually perfect, just scene perfect. Messy, loud, neon, and unapologetically me.
A knock hit my door. "Jinx, you ready or what?"
It was Ash's voice-Deep, steady, with that kind of warmth that made my insides ache in ways I refused to name.
"Hold your horses, loser," I called back, smudging black lipstick across my mouth until it looked as dramatic as I felt.
When i opened the door, there he was: Ash. My best friend. The one who saw me at my ugliest crying-at-3am moments, and still showed up the next day with snacks and a playlist. Tall, broad shoulders filling out his hoodie, his skin glowing like night lit up by city lights. He had his usual easy grin on, but his eyes-God, his eyes, always looked like they knew way more than he said.
"You look like you're about to headline Warped Tour," he teased, scanning me up and down.
"Good. That's the point," I shot back, flipping my teased bangs dramatically. My heart was thrashing against my ribcage though, because everytime he looked at me like that, I felt like he could see right through all the neon layers and sarcasm.
We headed out, my room fading behind us as we walked down the familiar cracked sidewalks of our neighborhood. The sun was bleeding orange over the horizion, but i wished it would just stay dark already. Night always felt safer, like it belonged to people like me.
Ash cracked open a Monster can he'd grabbed from his backpack, offering me the first sip. I rolled my eyes. "Enabler."
"You'd die without me feeding your addiction," he smirked.
I sipped, the fizzy burn hitting my throat, and tried not to think about how his lips had just touched the same rim. Best friends weren't suppose to think about stuff like that. Best friends were supposed to laugh, and drink energy drinks, and share headphones while pretending nothing dangerous was brewing under the surface.
But me? I wasn't normal. I was a walking tradegy with neon hair and too many feelings. And every time I glanced at Ash, laughing softly as he kicked a pebble down the road, I wondered how long i could keep this secret locked behind sharp eyeliner and a fake smirk.
Because the truth was, I'd already fallen.
Hard.