The still but thick air was as heavy as the boxes that sat above her chest.
Her eyes were fixed on the pristine coffin. The brown glaze still shone as bright as the day it was lowered to the ground. The smell of the dead seemed to permeate every inch of the still air, gurgling loudly in the silence that surrounded her.
The flame of the candle inside the lantern in front of it was now dead, only the chalky remains of wax splattered across the bottom. Her throat was tight as she struggled within herself.
Some part of her hated herself for being so pathetic, that she had grown so accustomed to her mother's watchful gaze. Now with its absence, she was left without a guide which left her unable to make decisions on her own. Which was the very reason why she was still in Rivera city up till now.
He killed my son.
Bella rubbed her head. The memories that pulsed within her mind, within her heart spoke offence to that singular statement. To those vulgar words that didn't just match up to the man she called father. To the image of the man that he once was at least.
Confusion clouded her mind and on the pique of it she finally opened her mouth to speak, all the emotion lying in one word,
"Why?"
Of course there was silence. The invisible burrows that the wind made through the air ruffled the silence just a bit, the smell of decaying elements and the dim whir of engines from the road ahead dimly interrupting also.
Bella, knowing no one was here to watch her, sat on the blades of grass unable to take her eyes off the casket. To take her eyes off the soul that laid underneath the coffin. She could almost imagine a boy screaming, begging him to stop, bleeding heavily with numerous gashes in different parts of his body.
The nail of confusion refused to be moved despite the numerous attempts she had made it to pull it out of her skin. Instead, it just continued to push deeper with each breath, puncturing paper-thin memories and near whitening images.
Despite it, one memory escaped the edges of the nail and flashed between her eyes.
Bella's eyes closed involuntarily, not wanting to see them lower the body to the ground.
She didn't like the sense of finality that it gave her.
Her throat was hoarse. The air of death seemed to peel her defenses raw, making her shiver.
The hollow voices dimmed a bit as the coffin hit the floor of the hole that had been dug. She forced her eyes open and all she could see were tears. People at their different corners cried, some obvious while some were discrete.
"Daddy can we leave?" Her breath turned icy, making it difficult to exhale. From where they stood she could see the man. The pallor of his now bleached skin. The death filled look that arose from stoic blue irises.
"I'm sorry honey, we have to stay. It's just for a moment."
The sound of her father's unusually hollow voice made her take a peek at him. His face was twisted between a grimace and a cry as if fighting himself to stay composed. She squeezed his hands. Leaning on him, she asked in a very small voice,
"How did he die?"
The concept of it alone made her heart skip a beat but she chose to ignore it.
"Someone broke into their home..... And killed him."
"Oh."
They stood in silence for another few minutes, the sombre environment starting to rub off on them too.
Bella remembered that later that day her father had gotten her to promise him that she wouldn't resort to violence for any reason. Bella remembered agreeing to it vehemently, telling her father she would never do that. Bella shook her head.
How could the world be so twisted?
And that wasn't the only thing that hooked her chest, making it more difficult to breathe. Her mother's threats had been buzzing her phone constantly and she all but managed to ignore it all amidst the confusion that had messed up her life at the moment. Then the manager had called her to his office telling her that she would not be accommodated in the hotel any longer.
The effontry!
Bella knew that her mother had a hand in this. And this only told her of the gravity by which her mother wanted her to come home.
She had actually wanted to return home, a part of her.
Then maybe her life would finally be able to come back to order, that she could continue with her shoots, live the life of fame and put this whole mess with her father behind her for good, that just maybe she could live with Blake, at least it wouldn't be for long. But the sensible part of her knew that it was only the call to familiarity that made her feel that way, that made her desperate for anything that could get her right back on track even if it meant going to her mother.
Her exhale shuddered out of her lips with a shaky note. She didn't even hear the footsteps that resonated behind her, too lost in the well of thoughts that had sucked her deep into their waters.
"Bella?"
Bella whipped her head around and she locked eyes with her brother. Her jaw clenched tighter.
Get out!
Whatever reasoning that she had held feebly had been thrown out of the window as childish malice stumped her to the ground. And for some reason, she blamed him, that if they hadn't gone to that particular place then she wouldn't have known this. She wouldn't have to live with the weight in her chest now.
So you would rather live with a lie than the truth?
She couldn't answer that but all she knew was that she couldn't take it. In a distant memory she was reminded of something that her mother once told her,
"Don't stray away, venturing out will only get you in a world of hurt. The world outside isn't for dolls like you. Stay within the line and you will be fine."
"Go away." She quipped immediately turning back to the coffin. Her eardrums became hot as the chant continued to hang in her ears, pointing fingers at the man that stood right behind her who made her world crash more than it already had.
It was silent for a few minutes, the sun's withering rays losing their feeble hold on her skin. Bella already thought that Miles had walked away until he spoke,
"Bell-a, I n-eed you-r help."
Bella was startled for a moment. She turned to look at him with raised eyebrows.
"What did you say?"
"I sa-id I nee-d your h-elp."
She blinked at him, tracing his features for any foul play but all that was written all over him was sincerity. The most she had ever seen in all her interactions with him. But within the blink of an eye, her jaw tightened as claws of rage stroked her skin.
"Now you need my help? I thought I was too proud and snobby to be of any use to you." Bella mocked, standing and turning her whole body to face him. The blades of grass scratched against her Crocs, her hair getting tangled by the warm breeze that spoke of the moist loamy soil keeping a multitude of plants rooted.
"I ne-ver sa-id that-"
"But you meant it!" Bella stepped towards him, her hands balling into fists.
"In every look, every word, every passing glance, it showed. Didn't you once say that you wanted nothing to do with me?" Her throat constricted at the spindly thoughts that wiggled in her mind.
"Look, I'm sorr-y-"
"Now you're sorry?! Of course it's only when you need something from me."
"Bella, look th-ose thin-gs are in th-e past-"
"Don't you dare tell me that! If you follow what you say why do you still hate daddy?!" Why do you still hate me? Bella wanted to say but she forced her lips to remain closed.
At the mention of him, Miles jaw clenched, his gaze growing dark. The right side of his lips pinched down into a frown.
"This is not ab-out him-"
"It is! The very reason why I'm here is because of him!"
"Look I-"
"No, Miles I'm not going to allow you to treat him as if he were some nonentity! You expect me to help you, to come to your aid while you continue to roam around pulling our father's name through the mud-"
"What is wro-ng with you? W-hy do you keep act-ing like he was a sa-int? Isn't the evid-ence stacked agai-nst him enough?!"
Bella's comeback hung in her throat as the truth behind his words muddled her thoughts. The image of the crying woman popped up in her head once again.
"He killed my son!"
Her breathing stilled in her chest. Looking into her brother's livid eyes sent jolts of regret up her spine. But it was as short lived as the pimple that marred her skin mere hours ago.
"That's her concern, I'm pretty sure the boy must have done something to deserve it anyway."
" Wh-y are you alw-ays hold-ing onto this idea you hav-e of father?! Why can't you see that he's just a despicable-"
Bella didn't know what had gotten hold of her. All she knew was that her hands were stinging as soon as she pulled it off of Miles' face.
"Because that's the only constant thing I have! I'm confused, I have no clue what to do; mother is forcing marriage down my throat, I just got kicked out of a hotel and I recently heard my daddy is a murderer. So don't blame me for not knowing what else to do with my snobbish self!"
Tears immediately clouded her eyes and in just a moment, she wished she could just crawl into a hole and just sleep. Sleep away all of the confusion, the pain, the anger, all of it. She inhaled slowly. She rubbed at her eyes quickly, embarrassment making her cheeks burn.
A tired sigh escaped Miles before he said,
"I'm so-rry ab-out that I ..... never kne-w."
Of course you wouldn't.
"Truthf-ully, I don't kn-ow what's goin-g on in your life. It goes bo-th ways. But, I n-eed your help. There's a murderer on the loose as you know and we ne-ed you to h-elp us get into an excl-usive dinner."
She listened silently, arms folded as she traced the insects that crawled, perking amidst stout, scratchy blades of grass.
"I know we're n-ot on.... the best terms but this has gone bey-ond.... whatever this is," Miles gestured between them before sighing again. "-whatever inform-ation we can get out of that dinner co-uld save someo-ne's life. And for compen-sation sake, you can stay at my place til-l you de-cide on what you wa-nt to do. So, wh-at do yo-u say?"
Bella was silent for a few beats. A part of her wanted to flat out reject the offer after all when she needed him he had rejected her. A bitter smile pulled her lips up.
But, she gave into that childish reasoning that had begun to gain momentum since she had gotten here. That voice that had dried up like the memories of home long before. The voice that spoke of a longing of a friendship with her brother, that wanted something more than this bitter relationship that strung them together ever since she was born.
"Miles can't hate you. And one day, he'll show it ."
"You better have a car here because I'm not walking anywhere with you."