*** *Trigger warning: Story contains mentions of SA, child SA and date r*pe. Reader discretion is advised.***
Once upon a time there lived a girl who wanted to blah blah blah. This is no fairy tale, this will not guarantee a happy ending. This, this is life. My life.
I use to believe in fairy tales, that happy endings and prince charming exist. Not anymore. Life taught me that it was not all butterflies and rainbows. That the bad guys didn't always get defeated by the good guys. The problem was, I didn't realize at the time that life was not supposed to be like that. I thought my life was normal and that everyone dealt with similar problems but as I started to learn more about myself, I realized that was all a lie.
{skip to next chapter to avoid triggers}
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"No don't, don't touch me, this isn't right, it's wrong! You aren't supposed to touch me like this!" I wanted to scream at him alert someone but I couldn't, I just pushed his hands away. Looking at my lap, I started to flush, feeling sick that he had his hands on me again.
"Oh sweetheart, it's okay, don't be embarrassed, you are in good hands. Don't you remember, we use to do this all the time when I would visit."
Yes I remember, I was too young to know that adults weren't supposed to touch you in those places. Too young to know it was wrong. I'm older now and know it's wrong but why can't I say anything. Why won't the words come out. I'm not old enough to mind-link the word stop or to tell anyone what he is doing. Why haven't I told anyone? Maybe I can't tell anyone. Who would believe me? Who could I trust? No one. Adults aren't trustworthy, they do what they want. Take what they want. They don't listen to children. They believe we shouldn't be heard and need to behave in their presence. I can't tell anyone my age, they couldn't do anything even if I did. They probably wouldn't believe me either. So I just endure it.
"I don't feel good can I go lay down and nap like everyone else?" I finally get enough courage to ask a question in hopes of getting out of this room with him.
"Fine, but you can't go to your room, or to any of the rooms where everyone is already napping. I don't want you to wake anyone up!" He growled out.
"Where am I supposed to lay down?" I ask shakily.
With a wolfish grin he pulls me up from the couch and drags me to his assigned guest room. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have stayed in the tv room. Less of a chance of being completely alone with him. At least there someone from the pack could have come in if they decided they wanted to watch tv.
He pulls me over to his bed and slides the covers down. "You can lay here. I'll make sure no one disturbs you so you can feel better." He starts to walk away. Maybe he actually believes I don't feel well and will leave me alone. Then he turns around, "Oh before I forget, take off your jeans, I don't want you to be uncomfortable, no one likes to sleep in jeans." My face pales, if I take off my jeans I won't have a barrier, but if I don't listen he will get angry and who knows what he will do then. Hopefully he won't come back until after everyone is up from their naps. He wont risk getting caught.
My hope was dashed an hour later. I really tried not to fall asleep, truly afraid of what he might do. I woke up to him wrapped around me, hands in my panties and his finger plunged into my core. I was frozen. He noticed I woke up and was tense and he started stroking my hair as if trying to comfort me. Cooing in my ear "It's okay sweetheart, it's just me, I'm just trying to make you feel good. I know you weren't feeling well but this will help." I wanted to run, wanted to vomit but I couldn't. I just shut down, letting him continue until he was satisfied. When he was done, he helped me put on my jeans and walked me back out to the tv room where my siblings and friends were now up watching a movie. Before walking away he leaned in whispering so only I can hear, " Sweetheart, you are such a good girl, I leave tomorrow morning and wont be back to visit for a while. Next visit will be even better and more special than this, I will make you feel better than you ever felt." I shivered at the thought and he rubbed his bulge against my backside, kissed my cheek, then loudly told everyone that now everyone was awake he was going to go train with our warriors one last time before leaving the next day.
***
That was 8 years ago, shortly after that day my dad and him had a falling out and he never came back for a visit, however that never stopped me from being terrified he may one day return and make good on his promise. That man terrified me and left scars that no one else could see. He's also the reason I was so determined to have someone love me and protect me because I knew I wouldn't be able to protect myself the way that most she-wolves could.