Chapter 18 - Ch17 The World Tournament

We flew on an airplane to the world tournament. We arrived their to check in and Yamcha had the most fucked up haircut I had ever seen and I was fighting demons trying not to laugh. Since Bulma didn't show interest in him in the main story, dude must have cut it himself. Jesus Christ. Kakarot! Bulma yelled from a distance. Bulma! I yelled before hugging her and capturing her lips in a kiss. Master Roshi explained to us that the tournament was tomorrow so we lowkey slept and checked in the next day. Master Roshj gave us the turtle hermit gi's and it looked good on me. Made me look like a true martial artist. We walked in the building with all the fighters and my blood began to boil with excitement. This must be that saiyan fade addiction inherent to all members of our race. I was shadow boxing in the waiting room waiting intently. Krillin was lowkey shitting his pants looking at all the large participants so I reminded him he was goated. One of the tournament dudes explained the elimination match rules to us. Looks like I'm 70, I said. I'm 93, Krillin said. It looks like you two are in block 3. I'm in block 2 because I don't want to be in the same bracket as you. Desert Bandit ducking a fade says what? I replied with a smirk on my face. I'm not avoiding fighting you, Yamcha replied. I just want to make it to the real thing so we can fight. Oh alright. I said with a serious look on my face. Fighters 69 and 70. Time to put belt to ass. I said. Good luck, Kakarot. Krillin Said. Thanks Krillin you're goated you know that. I said sincerely. The dude I was fighting looked like Mark Henry, Steve Harvey, and William Taft condensed into 1 human being. I pushed the big oaf out of the ring with just the air pressure from my fist. Big fella busted his ass though. Ayo, someone check on big fella. I said mock condescendingly from the ring. That was a very lucky win, Kakarot. Krillin said enthusiastically. Hell nah, we gotta hold back during his tournament Krillin, or else we may kill someone by mistake. I said seriously. Well well well, if it isn't our old punching bag. Some bald people in yellow gi said walking up. These were the Orin temple bullies from the series. Both yall need to shut yall bald asses up. Fanboy and chum chum looking asses. What the hell are you talking about? The short fat one asked. What I'm saying is yall rotund and anorexic ass niggas can't hang with my boy Krillin. He would treat yall like sum frauds. Bum ass lil boys. Author's note: I'm still black. Oh is that right? The tall skinny one asked. He was a punching bag back at our school. They started to laugh then walk away. Krillin had his head down, sweating. Put them on fraud watch Krillin. I believe in you. I said with conviction before walking away. Fighter 93 and 94. Oh gosh. Krillin said scared. I grabbed Krillin by his arm. That right there is what pisses me off Krillin. I said angrily. Your fear can be anger instead. A rage born of conviction to win, to survive. It is what helped humans become the apex predators of this planet. I said sagely. I must've been on sum master miyagi shit cause that was one hell of a motivator. The skinny orin temple fighter made one sly comment and Krillin fell for the rage bait and genuinely sent his bald ass through a wall. Yamcha fought some dude that looked like Zangrief from Street fighter if he was like 300 pounds extra and 3 feet tall- He went down in one kick. Everybody in this tournament is so washed. I kicked some dude that looked like Apollo Creed out of the ring. Krillin defeated Bruce Lee. But not before pump faking this man by feigning getting his ass kicked. The 3 of us steamrolled through the competition making it to the finals. We were chilling in the waiting room for the finalists. I saw some Buddhist/Monk looking dude and literal fucking dinosaur. I also saw Jackie Chun was perving on Ranfan and hot damn I did not blame him. She may have been wearing clothes but they did absolutely nothing to hide her curves. She had her signature curly purple hair and her model face but her shirt showed off much more cleavage than in the show. She looked to be about a Double F cup Breast size. Her pants accentuated her child bearing hips and thick thighs too. She was up against the wall but her ass was poking out from all sides matching her thighs well. She also had some bimbo lips as well that were meant for sucking dick. She looked like a pornstar that snuck in the tournament for some dick. She didn't like Ro- I mean Jackie Chuns perving so I shooed him away. Save your perving for women that want it, weird ass old man. I said yelling at the man before taking up a fighting stance. I advise you to save your fighting spirit for the match, young man. The hermit said, walking away. If there was one thing that that old man was right about doing, it was thinking you are a stunning woman. My name is Kakarot. I said holding my hand out for her to shake. Oh, I'm Ranfan, she said before shaking my hand. It looks like I'm not the only model in this tournament though. You're quite a hunk yourself, are you married? She said and asked all after shaking my hand. I am but im always looking for more women to help me repopulate my people I said in a husky voice. I'll do anything for you sexy. She said in a quiet sensual whisper. After I win this tournament I have some things you could do for me. I said, matching her sensual whisper with one of my own. After that flirtatious encounter some musty ass nigga smelling like poverty and sadness pulled up in front of us. Author's note: I'm still black. The announcer explained the rules to us and how the brackets work. We all drew our cards. Poor Krillin had to fight a dumpster. Dude he smelled like all the havoc the green ranger wrecked in 5 parts put into a gas. He smelled like everything bad that mankind ever did. Good luck Krillin, I said before holding my nose as professor X from resident evil walked past us. The announcer told us our placements and afterwards I went to go eat something. "THATS, RIGHT PEOPLE ITS TIME FOR THE 21st WORLD TOURNAMENT! The announcer exclaimed from his Microphone. FIRST MATCH! BATERICAN VERSUS KRILLIN. SECOND MATCH! JACKIE CHUN VERSUS YAMCHA. THIRD MATCH! RANFAN VERSUS NAM. FOURTH MATCH! GOKU VERSUS GIRAN. THE FIRST MATCH WILL START SOON AND WITH THAT SAID, MAY I REMIND YOU ALL THAT THE CHAMPION TAKES HOME A 500000 ZENI PRIZE! The announcer elaborated. A dog barked into a mic for some reason but then the matches started. WOULD THE FIRST FIGHTERS PLEASE COME DOWN!? The announcer requested. The crowd began to cheer. You got this Krillin. LETS GET THOSE PUNCHES FLYING! GOOOONG! The announcer exclaimed then a gong sounded signaling the start of the match. The Nasty ass bastard tried to touch Krillin with his nasty ass hands but Krillin wasn't going for any of that and weaved that shit. What Krillin wasn't prepared for was this Nasty Bitch's green card that stuns you in place with its odious hog breath produced by his mouth. Bacterian charged up a level 7 stink beam by digging in his crotch for an evil ass stench. Then he put Krillin in a dirty ass chokehold but I genuinely remembered we had hands. RELEASE HIS GRIP NIGGA YOU GOT HANDS I SEEN THEM! I exclaimed Authors Note: I'm still black. Krillin broke free from Bacterian's grip and kicked him in the mouth, knocking him over. Krillin tried to escape after getting cornered and tried to escape but Bactrian's 900 pound ass genuinely started bouncing on him. Pause. But Krillin tried to push him up off of him so he could get out of the corner but the nasty ass bastard ripped ass. Shit smelled like straight dookie. This shit looked depressing. Like I was watching war crimes be committed right in front of me. This might be it for- I paused. KRILLIN STAND YO DUMBASS UP RIGHT THE HELL NOW BOY! YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE YOU IDIOT! I exclaimed. Hey he's right. Krillin Said. Bacterian tried to spit out straight toxic waste but Krillin dodged and hit him out of the ring with a well placed side kick. CONTESTANT KRILLIN HAS KNOCKED OUT BACTERIAN! The announcer exclaimed.