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Chapter 73: Hot Crazy Chick II
"Here I am yakking about myself. What about you guys? Alan, what do you do?" Frankie asked after not saying a thing about herself.
Alan shot back sarcastically, "Good question. Guess," mirroring some of the words she had just used.
"How about that?" he added, challenging her.
Charlie cut in, "Alan, don't be childish."
"She started it."
"He's a chiropractor," Dad revealed to Frankie.
"Really? That's terrific. I have so much respect for what you guys do," she said enthusiastically.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"Because my brother thinks I'm just a glorified masseuse," Alan deadpanned.
Charlie corrected, "I never said glorified."
"Charlie, you're so wrong. Chiropractors are like angels of healing." Frankie grabbed Alan's hands. "These hands have amazing powers to bring relief and even pleasure."
"You know it's not those massages with happy endings, right?" I pointed out, which made everyone turn toward me.
"I know," she glared before breaking into a smile. "I do one once a week. In fact, I'm in desperate need of an adjustment right now."
"Let me get my table, I'll fix you up," Alan offered, finally seeing someone in the house giving him credit.
"Awesome." She followed him. "Do you want me with clothes or without?"
I raised my eyebrow after hearing that last comment from Frankie.
Dad just stared, dumbfounded, frozen in pure disbelief as he tried - and failed - to process what had just happened.
He put a hand in his chin, trying to make any sense of it.
I burst out laughing.
"What are you laughing at, Francis?" he snapped.
Still chuckling, I managed, "From my point of view, this was really funny."
Charlie placed his plate in the sink and walked out, annoyed. I stayed behind, finishing my dinner.
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I wrapped up a phone call in the living room.
"Yeah, thank you for the information. Bye." I hung up and headed down the hallway.
On the way to my room, I saw my dad coming out of the bedroom Frankie was using - Jake's room.
"Bad luck?" I asked, noticing the untouched bottle of vodka in his hand.
He nodded, "Round one to the hot, crazy chick," he muttered before heading to his own room.
I knocked on her door. A "come in" made me step inside
Frankie looked at me a little surprised. "I was not expecting you."
Then added, "That girl from earlier… she's your girlfriend, right? And aren't you a bit too young?"
"Yes to both," I confirmed. "I just want to talk to you." I pulled a chair that was in Jake's room (sometimes I use it to play video games with my cousin).
"Don't abuse our good will," I blurted out. "My dad may not have the noblest intentions, but he helped you out."
"And Uncle Alan is too much of a pushover. Even when he doesn't want to, he ends up helping," I finished.
She glanced at me with mild surprise. "Wow, you're trying to be the man of the house. It's kinda cute," she joked amused, not taking my warning seriously.
I leaned slightly toward her and whispered, "Mess with my family, and I'll make sure you never see Joanie again."
Frankie widened her eyes and went pale. She shifted into a defensive stance, probably debating whether she should attack me.
But before she could do anything, another woman entered the room. She was wearing FBI gear, one hand resting on the gun at her hip.
I raised my hand, stopping her. "No need to scare her more, Alana. I'm done talking."
But I added a final warning, "I know about your husband's death, about his parents wanting to hold custody of your daughter... and what you're planning to do in the next few days." Then I closed the door.
I value my safety and my family's. And as someone who handles sensitive data -especially for DARPA's project - I can use government resources for things like investigations around me. They'd look into it even if I didn't ask.
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The next morning, Alan was serving pancakes for me and Frankie.
Frankie complimented him, "Man, deep tissue massage, pancakes… If you had a TV on your forehead and could breathe through your ears, you'd be perfect."
I lifted my head, confused. "Breathe through the ears…" I muttered, not understanding her thought process. Well, she is nuts...
We had talked before Alan entered the kitchen, so she wasn't as wary of me anymore. As long as she didn't do anything stupid, I wouldn't interfere. They are all adults.
"So nobody makes you pancakes where you live? Not your husband?" Alan asked curiously.
Seeing her shake her head, he continued, "Boyfriend?" then in a high pitch, "Girlfriend?!"
She didn't answer, and Alan went on, "Mother, father, grandma? …cellmate?"
I chuckled at the last attempt. "Good guess."
Moments later, Dad entered the kitchen. "Morning, Frankie, Francis."
"Morning, Charlie," she greeted back.
Alan stared at Charlie. "Morning."
"Yeah," he answered curtly, grabbing a mug before returning to the hot chick. "So, Frankie… boy, that is a pretty name" he grinned, "How did you sleep?"
"Great," she smiled, but paused. "Except I had this wild erotic dream. And I woke up all drenched in sweat." She gestured toward her body.
Both Alan and Charlie stared at her like idiots.
"Could you pass the syrup?" she asked, completely switching the tone.
"Sure. Yeah," both fumbled, while I was already handing it to her.
Frankie showed appreciation, "Thanks, sweetie. You are a doll." Then she commented, "You know, I can't thank you guys enough for letting me stay here last night. I just wish there was some way I could repay you."
Alan proposed, "For a start, you could tell us something about yourself."
"I wouldn't mind hearing more about that dream." Charlie smirked, already sitting down.
"All right," Frankie agreed. "I guess I can trust you guys. I know this may sound totally crazy, but I work for a secret government agency, and my current mission is..." She stopped and began laughing. "I'm sorry. You should see your faces. You guys are so easy."
"Yeah, like a pimp fifth grader talking with the it girl of the 10th grade," I spoke dryly.
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Author's Note: I haven't gone into much detail about this so far, but Jake is working on an important DARPA project for the U.S. military, and he is leading it. Because of that, it's normal for him to have protection from the government.
Chapter 74: Hot Crazy Chick III
After breakfast, I went to school. I came back later with Summer and Marissa. We were sitting in the living room, with both of them working on school assignments while I helped where I could (with knowledge, mostly)
The door opened, and my dad's voice echoed, "Okay, here we are. This is it, right? One kid, no pets?" He looked at Frankie, since this time she was accompanied by an eight‑year‑old child.
"As far as I know," she responded.
We all greeted each other, Summer murmuring to me, "That crazy woman is still here?"
"Yep."
She signaled with her hands to Marissa that she would explain everything later.
The little girl glanced toward the deck and asked her mother, "Can I go look at the ocean?"
"Sure, just stay on the deck," Frankie allowed.
Then, she turned to Charlie and Alan, "Okay, who has the first question?"
"What the hell is going on?" Alan blurted out before they could decide who would start
"Oh, good one," Charlie acknowledged.
"Here it is. I married a really rich guy, and his parents always hated me." Frankie began to explain, "I don't know. Maybe it was because when we met, he was on the road to becoming a U.S. Congressman - and I was just, you know, on the road."
She continued, "Or maybe because we used part of his trust fund to finance my recording career."
Alan looked surprised, "You're a singer?"
"Well, as it turns out, no," she denied.
The crazy chick finished the story, "Then two years ago, Brad died. And ever since, his parents have been trying to take Joanie away from me."
Now understanding the situation, Summer said, "I think I'll go to the deck too," and pulled Marissa along with her.
Alan made a realization face, "So, the psychiatrist...?"
"Court ordered. They're suing me for custody, saying I'm an unfit parent," she revealed.
"Unfit, how?"
"Being crazy?" I deadpanned, "but I'd put my money on being dumb."
"Francis!" Alan snapped.
"What?" I stepped closer to them. "What do you call someone who trashed a car? Especially one that doesn't even belong to the person you're trying to get revenge on?"
"Wait, what?" Frankie blinked.
"The car you destroyed in the parking lot wasn't your psychiatrist's." I handed her a sheet of paper. "You're being sued for vandalism. And it won't be long before the police call you in for questioning."
She fell silent, her face turning pale.
I warned my dad and uncle, "They'll be here soon, since you two were also seen at the scene."
"What are we supposed to do?" Alan widened his eyes.
We? Where are we? I thought. But I gave him an idea.
"You can convince Judith to let them stay at her place for a few days - just until Frankie figures out where she's going," I suggested. "Just make some lies."
Since nobody was thinking clearly, he agreed. Alan, Frankie and Joanie headed to Sherman Oaks.
Charlie patted my back, "Uff, we dodged a bomb there."
I corrected, "We? You mean me, right, Dad?"
"Okay, smartass. You saved the day," he said with a mocking bow. "But you didn't have a better solution?"
"Oh, I had several better solutions. But then I'd have to compromise someone I care about, or I'd have to pay her way out with my money. Why would I do that for a stranger?" I shrugged.
I could solve everything with lawyers, money, and influence…
"And Judith seems like the perfect person to handle another crazy woman"
Charlie laughed and went to the kitchen.
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Summer, Marissa and I were out on the deck talking when Berta walked in holding a baking tray.
"I already heard about the mess your father caused again," she deadpanned, "and your uncle trying to make it even worse."
"Come on, Berta, if things were normal around here, you'd die of boredom," I said, already grabbing a cookie she had baked.
The other two took one as well.
Then Berta's phone rang, and for a moment, she actually gave a genuine, rare smile.
"Wow, that is almost new to me," I mentioned, looking at her.
"It's my grandchild - my little angel," she explained, smiling. "The only one who doesn't cause me problems and actually makes me proud."
"You have kids? And grandkids?" I asked, since we'd never talked about that before.
"Three daughters, all trouble. Only one granddaughter," she replied. "Reagan Lucas."
"Reagan Lucas?" Summer raised an eyebrow.
A different name for a girl.
"Yeah, I didn't like the name either - my dumb daughter named her after her two exes," she scoffed.
I winced. Jesus. "Lucas I understand, but Reagan is kind of rare for a man's name," I pointed out thoughtfully. It's a unisex name, but more common for girls.
"Nah, Reagan was a woman," Berta revealed. "You would love my granddaughter, Francis. She's 16, smart and stunning."
I was taken by surprise, and Summer spread her arms, "Berta, I thought you liked me."
"I do, or I would've already brought her here," she smirked. "You're a good girl, but my granddaughter doesn't lose to either of you."
and she went to finish the house chores.
Summer asked me, "Why the face?"
"I won't lie, I got really curious," I answered, pulling her closer to me.
"Humph," Summer pouted.
"Come on, Berta doesn't brag about anything, and judging by how she talked about her family, she doesn't sugarcoat things either. I'm just curious about who could put a smile on that thick shell of hers." I commented
Marissa saw a notification on her phone, "Huh, Haley wants to talk to me."
She went inside to call my cousin, while I took the opportunity to keep kissing Summer.
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Author's Note: Reagan Lucas - portrayed by Megan Fox in New Girl. There will be no other characters from that series. I basically changed her name and her personality. At some point, she will be Jake's girlfriend. I'm not sure about the endgame yet, but my idea is for her to be an important character.
Chapter 75: Moon Landing
Claire walked into the kitchen with an appreciative look. "Those bacons smell great."
Phil was making eggs and bacon for breakfast.
"What are you doing with those?" I wondered when I saw Alex holding a bag and some plastic grabbers.
She replied, "Luke and I are doing a recycling drive. If we collect enough bottles, they build a school in Africa. Want to help?"
I agreed, "I'll write you a check worth ten thousand bottles."
"I'm a little conflicted," my little cousin frowned. "That would help more than everybody, but it ruins our whole purpose."
"Welcome to the world of capitalism," I said, patting her head
Luke, who was eating cereal, remarked, "Wouldn't it be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?"
"That would certainly be a special school," Alex spoke ironically. "Did you hear what I said, parents? Special school?" she went on with her usual sass.
Then Haley walked in already announcing, "Okay, nobody makes a big deal about it, but I just broke up with Dylan."
"No!" Phil exclaimed, sounding a little sad.
"Oh my gosh," Claire murmured.
"You okay, honey?" she asked, trying (and failing) to hide a tiny smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Haley muttered, frustrated. "I just... I need to date someone who has a clue, instead of an idiot who bangs his head every time he rides his bike out of his garage." She emphasized again, "Every time!"
"I'm sorry, honey."
Phil added his own support, "I'm sorry for both of you. I'll have to text him later."
Haley made a weird face, and I had to hold back my laughter.
I motioned for Haley. "Come over here."
She came into my arms. "Are you really alright?" I asked.
She nodded. "Yeah... but I'd feel better with some shopping," she said, lifting her head toward me.
I mentioned dryly, "She is more than fine, guys." Then I whispered, "Saturday, we can go together, but I'm not staying the whole time."
Haley gave me a delightfully tight hug. I knew she was more upset than she was letting on.
She raised her face again and spoke to everyone, "Maybe I should date someone like Jake."
Alex snorted, "Good luck with that!" Then continued deadpan, "A world‑class genius, super-rich, funny, cute..." She stopped suddenly, turning red as everyone stared at her. "...would totally fall for you." She ended almost whispering.
"Uhhh, somebody has a crush on our cousin," Haley teased.
"Shut up, Haley!" Alex snapped.
Haley mocked her again, "Me holding him like this... does it make you angry? Jealous?"
And the two of them started quarreling.
"Okay, enough," Claire admonished. "I'm tired of hearing you two fighting all the time. When I get back from my shower, I don't want to hear a peep."
Luke asked, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to meet my friend Valerie," Claire replied. "I haven't seen her in 15 years. We used to work together."
"You worked?" Alex looked surprised.
She confirmed, "Mm‑hmm."
"Can't imagine you working." Luke blunted out.
"Luke, let me tell you something," Phil tried to teach a lesson. "That is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard. It's just now she works for us."
Claire paused and took a deep breath, then said, "I will have you know that I had quite the little career going. I was making quite a splash."
Haley asked, "Then why'd you quit?"
"Well, Haley, call me old‑fashioned, but I wanted to focus on raising a family," Claire explained. "So I married your dad."
Phil went to hug Haley as well. "Five months later, we... were..." He paused and corrected, "four months away from having this little bundle of joy."
Not a good save... by the looks on Haley and Alex's faces, they understood exactly what happened - Claire was pregnant when she married.
"I'm heading out too, going to meet Mitch, Gloria, and Manny," I said as I waved goodbye.
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"Hey, Mitch," I saluted him and sat beside Gloria and Manny.
Mitchell said hi back to me, then returned to talking to Gloria. "Maybe, uh, we should go over the accident one more time."
Jay had asked Mitchell for help, since Gloria had crashed into another car.
"Put the dogs on a row," Gloria praised him. "You're such a good lawyer."
It is ducks... but I decided not to correct her.
"Uh, I just want to make sure we're 100% clear on exactly what happened," Mitchell said, tiptoeing around the subject.
"Oh, we're clear. I told you. He was parked," Gloria repeated.
"Well, everybody looks parked when you're going a hundred miles an hour," I murmured, receiving a glare from her.
Gloria inquired angrily, "You think it's my fault, Jake?"
"No," I refused the idea immediately. "Just like the four times you scratched my Cayenne. Maybe the light pole moved, or the parking space shrank, or maybe-"
She slapped my arm.
"See?" I pointed at her. "That's the proof. Every time you hit me it's basically you saying, 'Shut up, you're right but I don't like hearing it,' or 'stop being funny.'"
More like, stop being cheeky.
Gloria let out an ironic laugh. "You're too funny today." Then she turned to Manny and Mitchell. "Do you two also believe, like Jake, that I'm guilty too?"
The two exchanged glances, unsure what to say.
"Manny?" Gloria pressed.
Manny stuffed a cupcake into his mouth and pointed at it. "I can't. Mouth full."
"Oh, come on. Don't blame your cupcake," She snapped. "Fine. I don't need Mitchell as a lawyer anymore. And if you two think I'm such a bad driver, you're safer walking home." She stormed out of the cupcake shop.
There was a brief silence between the three of us.
A short time later, Gloria returned much calmer. "Ay. I'm sorry, guys. It's true - I am a defensive driver."
Manny corrected, "You mean you're defensive about-"
Gloria cut him off. "I know what I am." She continued, "Let's go. It's just that I don't like when people assume I'm a bad driver."
"We understand, Gloria," I nodded, approaching her. "Don't tell me a cupcake stand suddenly moved toward you?"
She nudged me.
But when we stepped outside, we found Gloria's car had plowed through a row of chairs and tables, and the giant cupcake decoration from the bakery had toppled right onto her hood.
"I promise this was not my fault!" Gloria spoke innocently.
"Yep, clearly the cupcake moved," I murmured. "At least it's not my Cayenne."
Chapter 76: Friendly Fire
After the chaos Gloria caused, we called a tow truck to take her car and then they got a taxi to go back home.
I was driving the Ferrari and planned to stop by the Dunphys again just to drop off some cupcakes Phil had asked for (the moment he heard where I was going).
I parked nearby since Dylan's old car was blocking the driveway.
Claire was saying goodbye to a woman when I approached.
"Jake!" She looked at me with a strange burst of excitement.
"Jake is my cousin, but more like a very loved son to me," Claire told the woman while pulling me roughly to her side.
I placed my hand on her forehead. "Are you okay?"
She quickly slapped my hand away and whispered from the corner of her mouth, "Impress her."
"How much?" I murmured.
She gave me the famous Claire smile, basically telling me to go all in.
"Hey, Mama Claire already introduced me. You must be Valerie," I said, extending my hand.
Wow, she is the one who played Skylar in Good Will Hunting.
"Yes, nice to meet you." Valerie shook my hand and asked, impressed, "Your family lets you drive the Ferrari?"
"Oh, that?" I dismissed it. "That is mine. I bought it with my own money. And speaking of Ferrari, the new one I bought arrives this week."
"What?? You bought another Ferrari?!" Claire was stunned.
I nodded. "Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. Brand new model. I gave it to myself for my birthday. But it's only arriving now." Then I explained, "This one has four seats. I love my Porsche Cayenne, but Ferrari is Ferrari."
"Right…" Valerie didn't know what to say for a moment before inquiring, "Where does the money come from?"
"I'm the writer of Diary of a Wimpy Kid," I revealed. "You know, it has already sold three million copies so far with the three books."
December had exploded in sales thanks to the releases (book 2 and 3) and Christmas.
"It's like nine million dollars in royalties," I shrugged as if I were talking about tip money.
"Nine million??" Claire's eyes widened even more.
"And I also make money with research," I continued. "If you go near UCLA, you'll see a complex next to it, Moore-Pritchett, which is a project of mine and Gordon Moore, the billionaire founder of Intel."
"I can give you a tour if you'd like. We have impressive equipment there. After all, Gordon invested a hundred million in that project."
I finished, "And you'll be able to meet five Nobel Prize winners who work with us." I said it like someone casually mentioning, 'oh, and there's also fresh bread in the kitchen.'
"Oops, it seems like I'm bragging, but I can show you everything I mentioned," I pretended to feel a little embarrassed.
"No, no, no. I believe you," Valerie spoke quickly. "But I really need to go. See you next time, Claire."
She headed to her car.
Claire was completely in disbelief. "What the hell was that?" she muttered.
"Well, you told me to impress her," I defended myself.
She groaned. "Yeah, but not overwhelming me together. What is this - nine million? A hundred million? Five Nobel Prize winners?"
I shrugged. "All true. I even softened it a bit so it wouldn't be too much."
"Softened it?? too much??" Claire snapped.
"There's even more money from other things. And I could've said I already have over ten honorary PhDs, that I'll be on magazine covers soon, and that I get laid every other day."
"What??" She looked at me like an angry mama bear.
"It's really impressive how you focus only on the last thing I said," I teased, then added, "Don't worry, I'm not turning you into a granny anytime soon." I bolted inside before Claire could lecture me with her fists.
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When I walked in, I looked around weirdly at everyone in the house. "Did a hurricane pass through here? What is all this mess?"
Claire walked in right after me, and she looked like a demon unleashed.
She scanned each person one by one, like a lion choosing which prey would be the first.
But Haley ended up crying. "I broke up with Dylan for good," she sobbed and ran into her mother's arms.
"Oh, Haley…" Claire comforted her, then glared at the rest of us with a fix this look before going upstairs with Haley.
"Okay…" I began. "Can I at least understand what's going on?" I pointed at Luke first. "Why are you in your underwear and why does the house smell like liquor?"
He answered, "Alex and I grabbed the leftover boxes from the party our neighbor threw. One fell on me, so I took my clothes off."
Then I turned to Alex, who looked like she had just returned from war - panting, hair a mess.
"There was a rat in the box, eww," she explained. "I was hunting him."
"Finally, Mario, what is this?" I asked Phil, who was wearing a ridiculous fake mustache.
"I was trying something different after they scribbled all over my ad…" Phil couldn't really explain the reason.
My explanation was: Phil being Phil.
He ripped it off and groaned, "Ouuuch."
"I saw Dylan leave devastated," I revealed. He had walked out while we were talking to Valerie.
"Looks like they really broke up for real this time," Phil remarked more seriously.
I nodded. "Let's eat these cupcakes I brought," I proposed, lifting the box in my hand. "Then we clean everything up."
And that's exactly what we did.
Later that night, I went back to Jay's house and ended up discovering a new term: moon landing. Basically, it's when two people bump butt-to-butt - usually when they both crouch down at the same time. (Like what happened with Jay and Cam. A very weird image to think about.)
Chapter 77: Valentine's Day
"Here, try this." Charlie picked up a bit of Chinese food with his chopsticks and offered it to Jake.
My cousin asked, "What is it?"
"Just try it."
"Hey, that's good."
"Of course it is. It's chicken in frumunda sauce."
"Frumunda sauce?"
"Yeah, from unda' the toilet," Dad joked.
Jake let out a laugh and looked at Alan, "Get it, Dad?"
"Yeah, I get it. I got it 30 years ago, the first time he said it," he replied, a little drier.
"Yeah, but it's new to him." And Charlie continued, "Hey, Jake? What do you call the red mushy stuff between the elephant's toes?"
"What?"
"Slow-moving natives."
He laughed again.
"I love this kid. He's a comedy blank slate," Dad commented, amused.
"I'm glad you do, but you might not want to share your chopsticks with him. I think he's coming down with something," Alan warned.
Charlie dismissed it. "Before I forget, you got plans for tomorrow night?" he asked Alan, since I had already told him my plans for Valentine's Day.
"No," my uncle denied.
"Make some. I'm gonna need the house to myself."
"Fine."
"Don't you want to know why?"
Alan glanced at his son. "Jake, if you're done, you can go to your room and start your homework."
Jake blurted out, "This is about sex, right?"
I coughed, then laughed. "Kids today, huh? Doesn't know the frumunda sauce joke but gets why Dad needs the house."
Alan let out a long sigh and again motioned for Jake to go to his room.
After my cousin was no longer in sight, Charlie revealed, "I have a hot woman I was interested in, but she was married."
Alan snorted, "So the sanctity of marriage does slow you down a bit."
My dad ignored him and went on, "But the thing is, he cheats on her with her best friend. She throws him out. Now I'm thinking she's gonna want justice."
I nodded in agreement. "Revenge sex."
"See? My son understands me," Charlie patted my back.
Alan just scoffed and warned again, seeing Dad pick up the remaining food from Jake's plate, "Don't take things off his plate. He's coming down with something."
"Relax. I never get sick."
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The next day.
"Boy, is he sick," Jake remarked, looking at his father, who was completely knocked out on the couch.
I kept a safe distance so there was no chance of getting contaminated. "Wow, Uncle Alan, you were really correct yesterday."
"Well, I can't say he didn't warn me," Charlie admitted beside me as he drank some tea.
My cousin complained, "I'm bored. What are we gonna do today?"
"Sorry, champs, I'm going to pick up my new car soon and then head to a date," I replied.
"You bought a new car?" Dad looked at me strangely, since I already had two.
"Yep, a brand-new Ferrari - and this one has four seats. We can all take a ride another day."
Jake got excited. "Cool!!"
"Excuse me? Hasn't anybody noticed I'm sick and miserable here?" Alan complained.
Well, the only difference I'm seeing is the sick part…
"Yes, Alan, we noticed. Which is why we're gonna make like hockey players and get the puck out of here," Charlie said, gesturing.
"Get it, Dad? Puck's not a bad word, but it sounds like one." Jake found it funny.
"Yeah, hilarious," Alan spoke sarcastically between coughs.
"Don't worry, Uncle Alan, help is on the way," I commented. "Grandma said she was stopping by."
"Oh, we really need to get out of here," Charlie muttered as he pulled Jake, and I was already heading out as well.
We could still hear Alan groaning in the back, like an animal left as an offering.
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When I arrived at the house in Brentwood, Jay was already trying on a new coat Gloria had given him as a present.
"I like it. Nice fit." He smoothed the fabric with his hand. "Swanky material."
"Jay, you look so strong and sexy. Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money," Gloria praised.
I stepped closer and touched the fabric too. "It looks really good," I agreed, "and it even has custom embroidery - JP."
Jay gave me an appreciative pat on the shoulder and turned to Gloria. "Your turn."
Gloria exclaimed, "This is my favorite day in America." She eagerly opened the package. "Ay dios mio, they're huge!" she smiled when she saw the pearl earrings.
"Happy Valentine's Day, gorgeous," Jay smiled. "You can wear them tonight. I have a surprise." He handed Gloria some tickets.
"Don't tell me you're finally taking me salsa dancing!" She looked excited - until she read what the tickets were for. "David Brenner?" She frowned.
But I was the one who replied, "Are you taking Gloria to a comedy show on Valentine's Day?" I looked at Jay strangely.
"He's a Vegas legend," Jay defended himself.
Gloria sighed and changed the subject to avoid an argument. "How about you, Jake? What are your plans for Valentine's with Summer?"
"We're having lunch at the Shutters on the Beach Hotel in Santa Monica." I paused for a moment. "Double date, with Marissa and Alex. Summer's idea…"
"With a girl you had a thing with, and another who has feelings for you?" Jay commented sarcastically
"If you put it that way…" I muttered, "Coop is our best friend, especially Summer's BFF. And we've been hanging out a lot together, even if sometimes there's a bit of jealousy."
Summer is only jealous of Alex. I don't know if it's because of me or Marissa, probably both.
I sighed, "I'm suffering from an excess of success."
"Okay, Gatsby," Jay spoke dryly, "just be careful so you don't end up with no one."
Then Manny appeared with his head down, "The universe is cold and loveless," he murmured
"Ay, papito, what happened?" Gloria went over to Manny.
Chapter 78: Valentine's Day II
Manny told us he had left a love letter for a girl, but some kid falsely claimed it as his own. Jay just grumbled, saying it was kid stuff.
I ended up letting them sort it out and went to pick up Summer.
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Summer and Marissa were crying.
"Are you two okay?" I murmured.
Summer, who was clinging to me, just nodded.
"Yeah, it's just really sad," Marissa said between sobs. "I'm emotionally stable," she affirmed to me.
"Uhum, I'm seeing that," I spoke with a hint of sarcasm, earning a pinch from Summer.
I grabbed the Coke straw I wasn't using anymore and tapped Alex on the nose. She had fallen asleep leaning on Marissa.
She woke up annoyed. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Jake," she ruffed, receiving a "shhh" from the people behind us.
We were watching A Walk to Remember at the theater.
When it ended, we were the last ones to leave the theater.
"You two are so insensitive," Summer made a face at me and Alex.
I retorted, "Hey, at least I watched the whole movie. I wasn't a sleep dude like this one here," I pointed at Alex.
"I worked the entire night yesterday," she defended herself. "I know it wasn't the best way to start Valentine's Day, but I'll make it up to you, Marissa" Alex added.
"Wow, I didn't think you'd be the whipped one, Miss Kelly," I mocked.
She tried to hit me, but I blocked it. "Ha, I'm becoming good at this, with women trying to hit me time to time. And I don't know why."
Summer glared, "You don't know why? Mister Sass King?"
Marissa started laughing, "That is a good one, Summer. Sass King! We should start calling Jake that."
"Oh yeah? Miss Teen Drama, Miss Eww, and Miss Hot Lumberjack," I called Marissa, Summer, and Alex respectively.
"Eww? EWW? Jake, I swear to God-" Summer exclaimed.
"She's powering up," I laughed while hugging Summer.
She kept trying to playfully bite me.
When we arrived at the parking lot (Marissa and Alex had come by taxi), both of them were surprised.
"Did you trade your Ferrari?" Alex gave my new car a good look.
"No! I don't plan on selling the M575 ever, he was my first," I stated.
Marissa was impressed, "You bought another car? You have three now?"
"Yes, the Porsche Cayenne is the most comfortable if we need to travel as a group, so I'm not selling it either. And Gloria borrows it all the time," I commented.
Summer was thoughtful. "Two Ferraris and a Porsche. It's incredible no one is throwing panties at you," she twisted her mouth.
"You're not counting you, right?" I flirted, whispering in her ear.
She let out a melodic laugh and lightly ran her hand over my abdomen.
Alex ended up interrupting us. "How did you get the Ferrari 612 Scaglietti, Jake?"
"Buying… it?" I smirked.
"You know what I mean. It's supposed to be delivered only in the middle of the year, and in Europe first," Alex narrowed her eyes.
"Money and connections, that's all that matters, Alex," I replied.
-----------------------------
We went to have lunch at 1 Pico, at Shutters on the Beach.
The waiters politely handed us the menus. "We are at your service, Mr. Pritchett."
"Just call me Jake, and I'll have the mac and cheese," I ordered.
"Mac and cheese??" Summer stared at me in disbelief.
Marissa made the same face, while Alex ordered the same thing.
After a while, the food arrived.
"I can't believe you ordered mac and cheese at one of the fanciest restaurants in L.A.," Summer kept murmuring.
"What? I think it's good," I said, poking it with my fork. "And this one is really on another level. Besides, I hate the idea of eating like a pigeon," I mocked their tiny plates.
"Why did you bring us here then?" Alex asked.
"I got the invitation, the food is good, and it has a nice view," I explained, looking at the beach through the window.
Marissa grew curious. "Who gave them to you?"
"Mr. Paul Allen. He got interested in some 2D material discoveries my team made. We became acquaintances," I revealed.
Microsoft had also invested a good amount of money in the Moore-Pritchett 2D research. With them, we now have three giants enterprises pouring money into our complex.
All three of them just stared at me, not knowing who Allen was. Probably only Seth would freak out.
-----------------------------
"Romance movie in the morning, fancy lunch, and now shopping," I listed our day. "Pretty eclectic Valentine's Day."
Summer gave me a spoonful of her ice cream, but before I could eat it, the escalator suddenly stopped.
"Looks like something happened up there," Alex commented, trying to get a better look.
We started walking up.
When we reached the top, I exclaimed, "Claire? Phil?"
"Oh great," I heard Claire murmur before she looked at us. "Jake, girls…" she greeted us with a strained smile.
Marissa asked, "Mrs. Dunphy, is your coat stuck?"
"It is. It really is," Claire confirmed. "It's in there pretty darn good," she stated again, trying to pull her jacket free, but it was firmly snagged in the escalator.
This time Summer spoke, "Why don't you… take it off?"
"Um, I'm freezing cold," Claire answered.
I narrowed my eyes. From Claire's defensive posture, and that strangely answer (It's cold, but not to the point where you can't take it off), don't tell me she is… naked.
"Hey Alex, do you have a pocketknife?"
"Sure," she handed it to me, surprising the others.
"You can go ahead, once I cut this, I'll catch up with you," I motioned.
Seeing how weird the situation looked, Summer nodded and pulled the girls with her.
"Clive Bixby," I read the tag on the jacket Phil was wearing, "care to do the honors?" I handed him the knife.
I smirked at Claire. "Exhibitionist and roleplay. It'll be a long time before you can lecture me again."
Claire made a mix of faces but ended up saying, "Thank you, Jake."
"Don't worry, I don't judge others' monkey business," I grinned again, just to annoy her.
But I'm happy for both of them. Claire and Phil are my favorite couple after Gloria and Jay.
-----------------------------
Author's Note: Paul Allen, for those who may not know, was one of the co-founders of Microsoft alongside Bill Gates. In 2004, he ranked 5th on Forbes' list of billionaires, with an estimated net worth of $21 billion.
By 2004, Paul Allen was not working at Microsoft anymore.
Chapter 79: College
After my aunt's embarrassing moment, we later went to The Bait Shop, the club where Alex worked and closed the night there (or at least the four of us did. Summer and I still enjoyed the rest of the night just the two of us).
-----------------------------
The next day, I stopped by the Dunphys' after a morning walk.
We decided to head to Mitchell's earlier. Claire was driving while I was in the passenger seat, Luke, Haley, and Alex were in the back. Phil was showing a house to a client.
Haley was complaining about spending Valentine's Day alone when Claire answered the phone through the car's Bluetooth system (Phil had installed it).
"Hi, honey," she said.
Phil, on speaker, replied, "Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you were last night."
Claire tried to stop him. "Uh, Phil-"
"Sorry I got the oil everywhere, but hey-" Phil apologized.
I raised an eyebrow. I've been getting a lot of TMI from those two lately.
"Uh, sweetie-" Claire tried again.
"They're not our sheets, right?" Phil laughed.
"Honey, remember when you told us that the speaker makes everyone in the car hear?" She gave a strained smile. "Well, the whole family just heard that."
"Uh…" Phil paused for a moment. "Guess… I guess the Bluetooth works."
Luke, from the backseat, asked, "Why did you have oil?"
"Because, buddy, we were making French fries," Phil made a horrible excuse.
"Wow, I did too yesterday," I affirmed. "To the point where I could already work at McDonald's."
and I went further, "and I also fried some donuts. Donut for dessert."
Claire just stared at me from the corner of her eye. Phil coughed on the other side of the line.
"In your room?" Alex looked at us strangely.
but Luke cut her off, "Cool!" and said innocently, "but I prefer pie over donuts."
This time it was me caught off guard, coughing and laughing, "I think we're going to hell, Claire," I murmured
"Why don't we listen to some music?" Claire turned up the sound system and switched to a pop radio station.
Then she asked me, "Why the disappointed face?"
"Well, I was hoping a suggestive song would start playing, just to add the fun," I smirked.
"Sometimes, you just want to watch the circus burn, huh?" Claire scolded.
"Sometimes?" I argued. "If it's not happening to me, I'm okay with it all the time!"
-----------------------------
We arrived at Mitchell and Cam's house and sat on the couch. Claire was obviously already holding Lily (she continues to be the star among the women).
Alex, Haley, and I sat together on the sofa. Alex grabbed my arm excitedly, "I can't wait for next month. We will take a full tour through MIT and Harvard!"
She was talking about our trip to Boston in March.
MIT, huh - that brings back good memories, I thought.
Haley snorted, "You are such a nerd! We're going for St. Patrick's Day parties," she said, clearly excited for different reasons.
"I'll take you two to Newbury Street - good cafés, great stores, and dinner at the Seaport," I told them.
"And yes, Alex," I smiled at her, "we can make a full tour of both, with almost unrestricted access, considering some professors offered to guide us."
"I hear Seaport??" Cam approached us.
"Yeap, there are great restaurants there," I confirmed.
The trip will be taken with the whole family. Marissa and Summer are also going; Alex Kelly hasn't confirmed yet, and neither have Seth and Ryan.
A little later, Gloria, Manny, Jay, and Phil arrived as well, and we had lunch.
-----------------------------
After lunch, I was with Mitchell, Claire, and Cam, and they were having a glass of wine.
"I cannot stand hanging out with his Ivy League friends," Cam was talking about Mitchell's friends.
Claire agreed, "Oh, they're the worst."
"They're not that bad," Mitchell tried to soften it.
"They are the worst!" Claire emphasized again.
"Are you kidding me?" Cam looked at Mitchell. "Debbie can't go two minutes without mentioning Columbia University."
He added, "And that little guy with the lazy eye from Harvard."
"Brown," Mitchell corrected him.
"Whatever. Honestly, I wish that tart would go back to Columbia... and take her weird little Brown friend with her," Cam chuckled wickedly.
But Gloria and Manny, who happened to be walking by at that moment, stopped and stared at Cam because of the comment.
The rest of the family had also fallen silent and heard the whole thing.
Cam tried to explain himself to Gloria: "So when I said 'Brown people,' I wasn't talking about your, uh, brown people. I was talking about people who go to a university. Not your people."
Gloria raised an eyebrow
Realizing how bad it sounded, he quickly corrected himself, "N-Not that your people couldn't go to college."
"Of course they can go. Who's going to build the college for us?" I chimed in to help him.
"Exactly," Cam agreed, but then hastily realized what I had said. "I mean - no!"
Gloria put her hand on her hip and stared at me.
"Come on! This is too funny!" I exclaimed. "What are the odds that Cam, while talking about universities, would land on a sentence that fits you and Manny perfectly?" I laughed.
But after that, I cleared up all the misunderstandings, though Cam was still acting a bit awkward around Gloria.
Mitchell changed the subject to break the tension, "Lilly said her first word."
Claire's eyes lit up, "What was it?"
"Mommy," Mitch replied, but quickly clarified, "It's because of the doll she got as a gift. When you press it, it says 'mommy.'"
Cam added, "Lilly loves that doll. Or she would totally said daddy first" he declared, probably more to convince himself.
"Let me guess," I joined the conversation, "you two freaked out because that would be an 'M' word as the first word of a child with two dads."
For their faces, it seems I hit the spot
"But you don't need to worry," I comforted them, "if Lilly ends up like Claire, she'll still be calling daddy even when she's this old," I finished.
Both dads laughed, while Claire stabbed me with her eyes hard enough to make a hole.
Chapter 80: Custody
I was writing a few more notes about how the behavior of electrons in graphene seems to replicate endoscopic representations of unitary and orthogonal groups - with some progress this month, thanks to new tests conducted.
Alan was also at the kitchen table, writing God knows what.
"Master," dad appeared, imitating the Hunchback of Notre Dame, "your sexually ambivalent ex‑wife is here." He gestured toward Judith.
"I'm not ambivalent, I'm exploring," she replied dryly.
"Yes, mistress," he mocked, bowing.
"How about work? Have you considered exploring that too?" I commented, earning a glare from her.
Alan stopped writing and lifted his head. "Thanks for bringing Jake over."
"Well," Judith handed him a paper, "I wanted to give you this anyway."
"What is it?"
"It's the bill from my divorce lawyer," she replied. "You haven't been paying them." She placed her hand on her hip.
"Wow," I exclaimed, "it's like paying someone to kick you in the nuts."
"I also need you to look this over and sign it." Judith handed him another paper, probably another bill
"And what is this?" Alan asked, already exasperated
"My lawyer recommended I take out a bigger life‑insurance policy on you," she said, explaining, "in case you should die and can't pay the alimony and legal fees."
"Why don't you have him frozen? Then you can use him to keep your drinks cold, too," Dad commented sarcastically as he opened a beer
Alan ignored Charlie, and inquired her, "Who's supposed to pay for this policy?"
"You are. And please, try to be on time with the premiums," she finished without a hint of shame.
"If he signs it, you could also sell his body when he dies. The balls will be missing, but the rest might still be useful for research," I remarked.
Signing it would be beyond being whipped.
Dad laughed, "Good one!". The other two just stared at me.
Uncle Alan turned back to his ex‑wife. "Okay, as long as we're on the subject of lawyers and death, my lawyer recommended that I redraft my will.
And you know what? If I die after you die, guess who gets custody of Jake? It's going to Charlie," he exclaimed.
"Charlie?!"
"Me?"
"Alan, you can't be serious," Judith snapped. "He's immature, he drinks too much, he sleeps around, he is completely irresponsible."
Alan shouted back, "Yeah? You should've thought of that before you threw me out!"
"All right. You're obviously angry and trying to get even with me, but I am not taking the bait," she spoke with a bitchy attitude. "I will see you on Sunday."
"Bye‑bye," Dad said, waving mockingly.
After she left, Charlie raised his beer toward his brother. "Hey, man. Thanks."
"For what?"
"For trusting me to take care of Jake when you croak."
"I'm sorry - you didn't think I was serious, did you? I just said that to piss her off."
"Right. Good one." Dad laughed, but then realized, "Hey!"
And the two of them immediately started arguing about the custody of Jake.
I was unfazed - since with money, and Jake agreeing, I could easily override any so‑called will.
Jake showed up and put the peanut butter in the microwave, scratched his butt casually, and then poured the melted peanut butter into a glass.
"Want some, Francis?" He offered
"No thanks," I declined, and he went back to his room.
No wonder everyone wants him - he's basically creating atomic bombs (we should buy a better toilet bowl for his room)
-----------------------------
The next day, Grandma stopped by (which is why Dad wasn't home). We sat on the couch and she handed a gift to Jake.
Alan nudged him, noticing his son hadn't said anything yet. "What do you say to Grandma?"
"Can I at least open it first?" Jake looked at his father.
He warned, "Jake."
"No, he's right," Evelyn waved her hand. "Wait and see if he likes it."
My cousin unwrapped the gift and opened the box. Inside was a large, framed picture of our grandmother.
Evelyn smiled, "Now you can thank me."
"Thank you," Jake muttered, staring at the picture - completely unexcited.
"I'm kidding," she laughed, giving him a gentle push. "No little boy wants a framed picture of his grandmommy." Grandma took the frame and handed it to Alan. "This is for your daddy."
"What do you say, Dad?" Jake mocked.
I stifled a laugh.
"Don't push it, Jake," Alan scolded, still unsure what to do with his mother's portrait.
"That's my new photo for the Sunday real‑estate section," she announced. "I thought maybe you'd like a color print of it for your office."
"So you didn't bring me anything?" My cousin whined.
"Of course I brought you something," she replied, handing him a coloring book and crayons. "There."
"Crayons? I'm ten," he complained.
Alan offered dryly, "You want to trade?"
"No, I'm good," he replied, running to his room.
Seeing Jake had left, Grandma took another box and handed it to me.
"Thanks, Grandma, but this is too small for a portrait," I joked while opening the gift.
Inside was a watch. "Wow - Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Automatic. Nice one, Grandma." I hugged her.
"Put it on," she urged. After I did, she approved. "It suits you, Francis."
Alan stared at us in disbelief, as if someone had committed sacrilege against him (in this case, his mother). "I get a picture - and he gets a luxury watch??" he snapped.
Evelyn responded without an ounce of shame, "Alan, when you visit me every week and help me sell a five-million-dollar house, you'll get one too."
Well, she is neighbors with Seth, Ryan, and Marissa, so I always stop by too (since we have a cordial relationship).
About the selling, I passed along my grandma's and Phil's contact information to people I knew who wanted to change house.
After that, Grandma also brought up Jake's custody. I just shrugged and went to my room.
Chapter 81: Big Bang
We were at Leonard Hofstadter's apartment, and Seth was sitting with him talking enthusiastically about comics.
I introduced Leonard, since he was the only one I knew who liked comics, and Seth had mentioned he wanted to create one himself (he's a great artist).
When the door opened, three people walked in.
"Hey, Coop," I waved. "Oh, I think the other two are also Coops" I pointed at the two older people with her.
"Jake, these are Sheldon and Missy Cooper, my cousins. They're twins," she presented.
"Wow, you picked a good one as a new boyfriend," Missy gave me a once-over, smirking.
Marissa looked slightly embarrassed. "He's not… my boyfriend. Jake is Summer's boyfriend. We are just friends. Great friends."
It seems like she still hasn't told her cousin about Alex.
"Hold on a second," Sheldon intervened. "You are Jake Pritchett?" He stared at me oddly, then turned to Leonard. "He doesn't seem intelligent at all." He blurted out.
Leonard, who hadn't even noticed the three entering, finally turned around.
"Sheldon!" he exclaimed. "Jake is way smarter than-" but he froze upon seeing the girls. "Hi," he waved a little shyly.
"Leonard, this is my friend I told you about - Sheldon's cousin, Marissa," I introduced. "And apparently, that's his sister."
"Isn't it strange that you and Marissa are the ones doing the introductions, considering this is Sheldon and Leonard's place?" Seth murmured to us - I just ignored it.
"Apparently?" Sheldon gave me a pointed stare. "We already established she's my twin. How could that be apparently?" He turned to Leonard again. "Are you sure he's a genius?"
"Two things," I said. "First - let me put it in a way you can understand. You two being twins is like C-3PO and Princess Leia being twin."
That made Leonard chuckle, and Missy gave me an appreciative smile. Sheldon probably didn't think of it as an insult.
"Second - I'm way smarter than you, Shelly boy," I mocked.
"Don't call me Shelly," he spoke, enraged, "and there is no way-"
I went on, "I can prove it. For starters, my board doesn't have any equation errors." I pointed at one of the whiteboards in the corner of the room.
"There is no-"
I cut him off again. "You forgot the minus sign and the modulus in the second part of the equation."
Leonard looked at it and thought for a moment. "With what Jake said, doesn't it actually solve the problem, Sheldon?"
Sheldon's eyes started twitching nonstop, like a malfunctioning robot.
"Wow, he roasted you hard, dumbass," a girl standing at the doorway mocked Sheldon. "Hey, Leonard," she added.
He responded awkwardly, "Hi, Leslie."
"Leonard, there's no reason to feel uncomfortable just because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus."
We were all caught completely off guard by her commentary.
Leonard answered dryly, "There's not? Gee, because its sure sounds like there should be."
"Rest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences, your idiosyncrasies, your performance, are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom," she concluded, somehow making it more awkward.
"Well, at least she knows the bed rules," I patted his back.
She greeted us and headed toward the apartment across the hall.
"Eww, that was really awkward," Summer emerged in our field of vision - she'd probably hear the whole thing.
"Seth, you might feeling at home here," she added.
"Ha-ha-ha. Hilarious, Summer. You two are always hilarious. How about Mr. & Mrs. Funny?" Seth shot back.
Summer hugged Sheldon's sister. "Long time, Missy."
"Quite something, the boy you got yourself," Missy teased her.
Summer came into my arms. "You don't know half of it," she smirked.
I kept chatting with Marissa, Summer, and Missy, while Seth and Leonard went back to debating DC versus Marvel. Sheldon stayed glaring at me like he wanted to blow my head up with his mind. He looked like a wounded animal.
After some time, someone knocked on the door.
"Who could that be?" Leonard murmured.
Missy answered instead, "I called a friend I haven't seen in years. I found out she's been living here in L.A." She stared directly at Sheldon. "Do you remember Paige?"
"Of course I do, I remember everything. I have a photographic memory," he replied.
Missy rolled her eyes and walked over to answer it.
When she opened the door, we four froze in surprise.
"Professor Swanson?" Marissa exclaimed.
Paige raised an eyebrow as well. "Miss Cooper, Miss Roberts… and Mister I'm‑always‑late?"
"Oh, there is also you, Mr. Cohen" she added.
Then she and Sheldon stood staring at each other. "Hi, Sheldon."
"Hello, Paige," he replied in his usual tone.
Summer made a face. "Professor, don't tell me you two had a thing?"
"Ugh, no!" Paige denied it instantly. "We were just friends."
"Paige is smarter than Sheldon," Missy smirked.
I looked at our professor with a hint of pity. A fallen genius - I had met many of them.
"Excuse me," Sheldon scoffed, outraged. "I have two PhDs-"
"Pritchett‑Moore??" Paige interrupted Sheldon the moment she noticed Leonard's board. (Besides the content, I know his handwriting. That's how I knew the other one belonged to Sheldon.)
"It will be the new '2D periodic table.' I'm working on this project as well, alongside Jake," Leonard said proudly.
"Two‑dimensional materials like graphene were supposed to be impossible," she murmured reading all the board content.
"Well, we already have 28 pieces of evidence proving otherwise," I commented.
Besides graphene, we've already synthesized: h‑BN, MoS₂, WS₂, MoSe₂, WSe₂, MoTe₂, WTe₂, Si, P, NbSe₂, CrI₃, VSe₂, C₂F, Sn, Ge, GaSe, SnS₂, TaS₂, TiS₂, TiSe₂, Sb, Bi, Al₂O₃, InSe, SnSe₂.
"With this much, a Nobel Prize is basically just a matter of when," Leonard revealed. "And Jake is even more impressive in mathematics than in physics," he smiled.
Huh, I think Alex Jensen fangirling is rubbing off on Leonard.
Paige was looking at me in disbelief.
Sheldon was ranting, "How is that even fair? A Nobel just for the discovery of some materials…"
We ignored the malfunctioning robot.
Chapter 82 - big bang 2
Hasn't any colleague talked to you about it?" I asked Paige. "Some of them know about it. It's not really a super-secret."
"Not really. I don't have much interaction with most of them," she replied. "Now I understand all your privileges. I assumed it was because you were rich."
"That's not wrong either. It adds to the pot," I nodded.
Then Missy pulled the conversation into something she was actually interested in. "What are we gonna do tonight?"
"We could watch Matrix Reloaded," Leonard nerdly suggested.
Sheldon accepted instantly. "That is an excellent idea, Leonard."
"It's already a classic." Seth also agreed beside them.
Missy stared at the three. "I was thinking more like... outside the house."
"At the theater?" Sheldon questioned. "There is no more Matrix in cinemas, Missy."
I frowned. Is he an idiot? How did he reach that conclusion? It is pretty clear where Missy wants to go...
"There's The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, we could watch it again," Seth proposed.
"I was thinking more like a nightclub," Missy finally said.
"Half of the crowd is underage, and the other half are nerds," Paige joined in. "I think you're asking in the wrong place, Missy."
"Jake and I are both," Seth pointed out.
"But I still prefer a nightclub," I pondered. "I don't see the appeal of watching a movie more than once."
"Surprisingly, I prefer the movie," Summer joked, "At least there won't be a bunch of vixens eyeing my boyfriend."
"Isn't it the same for you girls?" Seth asked, since Summer and Marissa are both very attractive.
I was the one that replied to him, "Yes, but less. When we went out, I hired huge bodyguards to secure the VIP area where we stayed, that scares them away"
Those who weren't scared received a solid punch to the face, driving them away just the same. Summer talked about the vixens, but I also have female bodyguards. They're more subtle but kept skanks away.
"But Missy is only staying a few more days," Summer spoke again. "We totally should go somewhere fun," she looked at me. "What about Exchange Nightclub?"
"Can do. I'll get us the VIP area"
When you have money, it's easy to get into almost any place, even if you're underage.
The three of them ended up going to the movies, while the five of us went to the nightclub (Alex was working and texted me to keep the bugs away from Marissa).
-----------------------------
The next day, I was at the Dunphys' house.
Claire asked while cutting some fruit, "Haley, sweetie, did you find your shoes?"
"Mom, please, not today," Haley waved her hand, annoyed.
"I just wanted to know if you found your shoes."
Haley continued nervously, "Why are you hounding me? I'm freaking out right now. I can't even stress properly about Jake not inviting me out last night," she added, as if I were the one to blame.
"Wow, thank you," I remarked with slight sarcasm. "You know, Marissa was there too," I pointed out, since she had come along as well.
Coop looked at me like I had thrown her into the fire. "My phone was out of battery," she lied.
The truth is, Haley is known to be a gossiper, and Paige was already hesitant to go with the three of us (since we're her students).
Claire spoke again, "You need to relax. It's just a driver's test."
"It's my third driver's test, and if I fail again, I have to wait six months to retake it," she explained, frustrated
"That's six more months with our streets safer," I murmured. "But well, we still have Coop."
Marissa, who was about to bite into an apple, stopped and looked at me. "I'm getting better, okay?"
"Yaay, our trees are safe," I mocked, making her throw an apple seed at me.
Then Alex walked into the kitchen. "Haley, I found your jacket," she announced, holding it up.
"Why is everyone on me? God!" Haley snapped, grabbed the jacket, and went to her room.
Alex was surprised and annoyed by her sister's reaction.
"Ignore her. She can't focus on two things at once," Claire commented.
Alex scoffed, and said ironically, "Always a good quality in a driver."
She sat beside me. "Where is Summer?" she asked, probably because Marissa was here too.
"In a car, possibly complaining about a hangover and that I abandoned her," I replied.
Coop gave an explanation, "She's with her dad - they were going hiking today. I'm still going out with my cousin later for a family dinner, and Jake stood her up."
"I don't like hiking," I defended myself. "All the bugs, and the trail getting your clothes dirty. Not for me"
"Uhh, little Jake is afraid of tiny insects?" Marissa teased me.
I gently pushed her head away, "Shut up, Coop," and added, "I don't have entomophobia - irrational fear of insects, more like a mild disgust or aversion."
Claire approached us, running a hand through Alex's hair. "Sweetie, we need to get you some shoes for the dance tonight."
"No, we don't," she refused. "I'm not going."
"What are you talking about?" Claire reacted in surprise. "Why would you not be going to the dance?"
Alex exhaled. "Because school dances are lame." She continued with a snappy attitude, "A bunch of immature boys trying to impress you with how cool they are... when they're really just a bunch of dorks."
I made a poker face, "she kinda has a point, Claire," I agreed, but then looked at my cousin. "But the thing is, Alex, it won't change much even after a few years"
"Most of us boys will still be immature and try to impress pretty chicks," I commented.
"But then there's the remaining group," she said.
I crushed her hope, "The remaining ones will try to impress other dudes," making Claire choke.
Marissa joined the conversation, "Jake is just being cynical. You will find a nice-"
But she didn't finish her sentence, because Phil and Luke walked into the house wearing overalls. Phil even had a flashlight attached to the helmet he was wearing.
I could already imagine the exasperated look Claire must be making behind me.
"…boy" Coop finished, unsure of her own words.