I wake up, phone in hand, eyes sore and twitchy, body sweating from the execive amount of douvets I had put on last night. I fell asleep on the phone... again. I jolt up to my older sister, Sarah, banging on the door of my bedroom, telling me to get ready for school– she's a college student, and she is still living in my parents house, though she wishes to live by herself, it's quite common for women not to leave their parents house until their mid-twenties where I'm from. My earphones, still plugged into my phone is playing the ending of the anime I was– at least, trying to finish during the night. I had realised it had been playing an episode that I hadn't gotten to yet.
My name is Ezekiel Kudo, a black, Christian fifteen year old boy living in the city of Johannesburg, South Africa with my parents a older sister. I am a once high-achieving student now struggling academically. I used to play sports – primarily soccer, but now I sit in my room all day watching anime or reading. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, more of an apathetic guy who doesn't want to express emotion much. I'm talented in drawing, so I want mainly draw anime girls and boys (mainly girls) and want to someday own an anime-oriented studio. But my future looks bleek as I am a serious procrastinator, putting off work for the next day, no matter the situation, be it assignments due or tests to study for.
I got out the shower, prepared for school, and as I was about to head out, I realised that I hadn't packed my books necessary for that specific day (having a locker at school would be a real help in times like this, jeez). I disregarded the thought and left for school.
I arrive at my school and do my daily facial check up to see if my appearance was acceptable. "What are you doing, Zeek" my best friend had caught me in the act of putting cream on my face. " What's up, bro. Was your weekend good? Did you get any sleep?", says my best friend, Andrew as he goes for a typical handshake and shoulder-to-shoulder hug. I wouldn't say he isn't my best friend, but I wouldn't say we are buddies in such a way– he's the only guy at school that I could, at the very least, act normal around with a bit of push-back.
"Yeah, I sleep well last night. The full eight hours!", I try my hardest not to grin to keep the lie believable. "Come on bro, I can literally see your eyebags. You probably slept at one in the morning.". "I'm telling you, I slept well last night, you probably think I have eyebags just cause I'm black ", I told him indignantly as I stated at him. Seconds later, that irritation I felt turned into wide smile, then a chuckle, then a little laugh as keeps staring at me with disappointment in his eyes. Andrew repremands me, "Go to sleep early, otherwise you'll fail your tests, Grade 9 is a tough year for everyone, having to study just to pick the subjects we want to focus on for next year." Andrew is the chill guy that everybody wants to be friends with, always smiling, sometimes playful, most of the time he's a teaser, but never bitter at anyone at school.
Andrew continues, "Speaking of tests, Did you study for today's test? And tell the truth, you liar."
"Yeah,... just barely. It's Life Orientation, I'm sure I'll push through.", I say, seemingly without a care in the world– deep inside, I was anxious.
"Did you bring your textbook? the grade heads told us that the test would be open-book." I stood motionless for a second as we were heading up the stairs to you homeroom, remembering that I had left, not only my notes book, but also my LO workbook and textbook in my room.
"Aghhh", I sighed.
"Nahhh, don't tell me you left your textbook. They sent so many messages and reminders on WatsApp. Focus, bro! Matter of fact, give me that...", Andrew is forcefully reaching into my blazer for my phone but I'm resisting. "Yo, Andg (Andrew's nickname– pronounced 'Anj') quit playing, man!",
"Time to stop leaving your phone on 'Do Not Disturb'. Who do you think you are?!"
I know that we are causing a scene right outside our homeroom, but I couldn't get him to quit, and almost immediately, our homeroom teacher, Ms, Kobudera exits the classroom and intervenes. "Hey, you two better stop it. You look like clowns out here. You two are late, we already handed the tests to everyone!", Ms Kobudera orders us with a hint of disappointment in her tone. "Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am!", me and Andrew shout out and march into class with immediate effect.
Me and Andrew stare at each other with playful antagonism as we reach our desks. But Andrew quickly moves and ribs his hand across my face, which prompts me to pull the same move on his face. He always does that for no reason at all, and it gets on my nerves. The guy doesn't know how much I stress to make my face look decent every morning. Ms Kobudera threatens us," If you two don't stop your monkey business, I'll deduct marks off your test marks". We stopped and headed over to our desks. My desk was on the opposite end to room door, by the windows, which always allow the Sun to shine into the classroom. I was on the second row to the front row of five lanes, with Andrew right infront of me on in the front row.
Right after Ms Kobudera finished her statement a sporty looking boy immediately said, "Hey, ma'am, you didn't just say 'monkey business' because Ezekiel is black and Andrew is Indian, did you?" My other friend, Alexander enters the room with his soccer cleats in his left hand, kit bag hanging on his shoulder, and regular backpack on both of his shoulders. "Come on, Alex!", the majority of the class shouted. " Don't start with your monkey business so early in the morning!", said a girl named Akira, sitting on her chair, behind her desk.
"Sorry ma'am, I'm late. I had to change because I just finished morning football training just now." "It finished twenty minutes ago, Alex! You aren't serious", Alex and the homeroom teacher had a quick back and forth. "Ohh, uhh... My bad, ma'am, I didn't see the time properly." Everybody laughed, with little giggles here and there.
Alex sat down on his desk right next to me, on the fourth Lane from the classroom door. We do our simple, almost non-existant handshake, then he performs his special handshake with Andrew right infront of me. I know that Alex and Andrew do seem to have a greater connection, which did hurt my feelings a bit at first, but I just lost the reason to care so much for others at my school.
The test starts, and I see the test's mark allocation is almost double what I had expected, and to make it worse is that I had no textbook.
Well, it is what it is. This is me nowadays, irresponsible and apathetic Ezekiel. It wasn't always like this, though. I can almost directly point the moment of change, or rather, moments of change– my very first and only girlfriend dumping me, getting diagnosed with a condition that prevents me from ever playing regular sports again, and more.
Every day I wonder whether I am doing enough... and , to be honest , I've lost the will to change. I'm not some depressed junkie, not anymore, where I hyper fixated on my failures. I've grown to become emotionally detached from others, it's the only way I could cope. The highschool life brings too much pain.
"Finally done with the test," Alex says as he stretches and yawns. "Too easy.", Andrew claims. These two were surprisingly smart for their playful personalities, always goofing around in class, yet still averaging ninety percent scores on most of their tests. I average only sixty percent, but hey, I'm averaging ninety episodes of anime a month, so there's that. They say that you become like the people you associate yourself with, well the good grades aren't coming in any time soon, if anything I'm the bad influence in this trio-friendship that the other two got to distance themselves from.
The school day goes nears it's end. The final bell rings, and I head out the premises immediately– I don't usually walk with my friends as I prefer not to go through the trouble of talking about meaningless nonsense that I don't care about for long periods of time. I exit the school gate. I was about to turn the nearest corner of the school, West of the entrence, and then somebody had called out to me, trying to catch up– it was a girls voice. The same girl's voice that I haven't gotten out of my head for over a year since that day, the day I got my heart shattered like glass, the same girl who destroyed my enormous ego, which I hadn't recovered from. Her name is Charlotte, her soft voice, brilliant mind, cheerful demeanor, and easy-going personality has never left my mind. Although, I would like to think that I don't like her anymore, I can't overrule the physical attraction I feel towards her– she has an elegant vibe to her, She's gorgeous, slim– and effortlessly beautiful.
But what could she want with me right now, I said in my head as I turned to see her half jogging towards me. She stopped right in front of me, looking somewhat anxious.
"Hey, Ezekiel. I... need to talk to talk to you.", Charlotte said in a subtly irritated tone. I pause for a second, then reply back,
"... Huh?"