Chapter 43: Caroline's Prince
"Sorry, but I've got history with the blonde too. Actually, I knew her before I met the brunette." Ron spotted Caroline's eyes scanning the bar and crouched even lower. The last thing he needed right now was an awkward encounter with both women.
After all, he didn't have the smooth talk necessary to convince two gorgeous women to share quality time together.
Both nerdy scientists gave Ron simultaneous thumbs up, their eyes filled with pure admiration. "Ron, you've got the best game of anyone we know!"
"Well, compared to that other four-eyed kiss-ass scientist Leonard and my brother who's completely allergic to women, yeah, I'm probably the biggest player in your social circle. Though I prefer hearing that from a woman in a completely different context."
"Oh Ron, you're incredible!" Howard squeaked in a high-pitched voice, earning himself a light punch to the shoulder.
"Howard, that's disgusting!"
"Okay, but why do you seem terrified of running into them right now?" Howard's mind was racing. "Did you screw something up? Man, if I were involved with those two goddesses, I'd happily die from exhaustion."
"It's not that. I'm a federal agent - my stamina's way above average." Ron watched his two friends finally settle at the far end of the bar, chatting and laughing with the bartender, and relaxed back to his normal posture.
"It's just that by some cosmic coincidence, I had amazing encounters with both of them on the same day, but I had no clue they knew each other. To keep things going with both, I've been meeting them separately.
I'm hoping that someday one of them will say, 'Hey Ron, you're incredible, but I can't handle you alone. Maybe I should call my roommate over to help out?'"
Ron shrugged helplessly.
He admitted that by his upbringing's conservative standards, he was kind of a player. Even by liberal West Coast standards, it was pushing it. But LA's dating scene was pretty wild - at least in this city, it was still acceptable behavior. What he definitely hadn't counted on was these two women already living together before he'd made any moves. Talk about small world syndrome! Knowing Caroline's personality, her pride probably wouldn't let her share a guy with her best friend anyway.
Meanwhile, Ron was getting increasingly annoyed watching both women chat and flirt with the good-looking bartender. Damn territorial instincts!
But while Ron and his buddies were talking, Caroline knocked back a shot of Jose Cuervo that someone had sent over and immediately started swaying.
"Wow! One tequila shot and she's already tipsy? What's up with that?" Max was amazed.
They looked at each other but said nothing. Caroline started scanning the room and suddenly spotted the woman who'd caused drama at the thrift store earlier, immediately elbowing Max.
"Oh my God! It's that bitch from Goodwill! I'm gonna get justice for you, bestie!"
Caroline's words were already slurring, and Ron, watching from across the room, felt his stomach drop. He was reminded again of Caroline's pathetic alcohol tolerance - the girl was a total lightweight. Was she about to cause a scene? Quietly, Ron grabbed his beer and moved closer, ready to have her back if things went south, just like when they first met.
Sure enough, Caroline strutted over on those killer legs to the heavily tattooed girl sitting in some guy's lap. "Hey, I need to talk to you about that vintage band tee from the thrift store today. My friend saw it first, but your friend just grabbed it."
"What the hell are you talking about? Bitch!" The tattooed girl stood up and got in Caroline's face.
"Look, I know we didn't get off on the right foot..." Caroline tried to reason with her, but got cut off mid-sentence.
"You want me to put my boot up your ass to make a better impression, princess?"
Ron cringed. Compared to the street-tough vibe radiating from the other woman, Caroline looked like she'd wandered in from a sorority mixer.
"Well, I see you've got a real extensive vocabulary." Caroline, facing this completely unreasonable psycho for the first time, was clearly out of her element and started backing away. But the woman wasn't done and grabbed a handful of Caroline's hair from behind.
"Ah!" Caroline whipped around furiously. "That's naturally blonde, you skank!"
Caroline was obsessed with her hair, but just as she tried to leave again, the tattooed girl grabbed another handful.
Ron had already casually moved over to Max's side. "Max, aren't you gonna help your friend?"
"Nah, that's Caroline, and she's kind of a spoiled princess. I figure she'll learn something after getting her ass kicked for a few seconds. Ron, what are you doing here?" Max was used to bar fights, but she was genuinely surprised to see Ron there.
"I was supposed to meet a buddy, but apparently got stood up," Ron said casually.
"A woman?" Max's tone made it impossible for Ron to tell if she was jealous or just curious.
"A guy. Hector. The bartenders here all know him."
The bartender nodded in confirmation. Caroline screamed as the tattooed woman yanked harder.
"I think it's time to step in!" Ron grabbed Max's half-finished margarita and downed it in one gulp.
"Go get 'em, Caroline's Prince!" Max cheered from behind.
But Ron walked right past the tattooed woman pulling Caroline's hair, heading straight for her boyfriend, who was sitting back watching the show with his arms crossed. This was exactly why, despite Caroline being way hotter than the tattooed chick, nobody had stepped in to help her.
Her boyfriend looked like he could bench press a Harley! But Ron had suddenly reached his limit.
Grabbing the tattooed girl's boyfriend by his greasy ponytail and driving his knee up hard, the guy's face met Ron's kneecap with a sickening crunch. Blood immediately poured from his nose, and a couple of his front teeth went flying.
"Listen up, trash. Take your psycho girlfriend and get lost. Touch my woman again, and I'll put you in the ground!" Ron growled down at the big guy.
"Screw you, pretty boy!" The big guy snarled with the same charming vocabulary as his girlfriend. He struggled to his feet, grabbed a Heineken bottle from the table, and swung it at Ron's face.
"Ron, look out!" Max shouted.
But fast as her warning was, Ron was faster. Just when everyone expected Ron's head to get caved in by the bottle, Ron sidestepped, moved forward with his right foot, and actually stepped inside the big guy's reach, driving his shoulder into the man's chest.
The guy flew backward like a stuntman in an action movie and slammed into the wall behind him.
"I don't even need to use my hands to beat trash like you."
End of Chapter
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