Having had a sad experience with Robert, Asoka straightened up and put her hands out in front of her, ready to defend herself to the last.
"Just try it," she said, flashing her huge blue eyes, which were as blue as the sky.
"What Sith..." Anakin began, but immediately fell silent when he heard the impressive slam of the door.
"What's going on here, for the Sith's sake?" Shaak Ti said menacingly, looming in the doorway and blocking the entire doorway with her large figure. "You two are going to stir up the whole camp! Madam Jokasta, by the way, has been racking my brains trying to figure out what you two could have been up to here last night, left alone together.
"I went to sleep in the porch," Skywalker grumbled discontentedly, adding silently, "Ahsoka decided I was going to fight her. She thought I might hit her."
"I know everything," Shaak replied. "And so do the others. I shut up everyone who wanted to talk about it. By the way, give me those poor children, you're holding them so tightly you'll drop them or break something," added the Togruta, taking the twins from their father, and immediately changing the subject: "Why does Ahsoka look like that? She was sitting there fine just a moment ago, and now she's all hunched over like she's been beaten. Hey, what's wrong with you? Is something wrong?"
Asoka had already recovered and was now terribly ashamed of her momentary weakness. She tried to answer as calmly and evenly as possible:
"Everything's fine.
"Are you sure?" Shaak Ti said incredulously, leaning towards her, then turning to Anakin. "You should leave. Katuni and I will help Asoka, and Petro will come and help with the chores while you're hunting. You did the right thing by going there; it will help clear your mind.
There were few Padawans and Knights capable of disobeying the orders of a Jedi Master. And Anakin, looking at Ahsoka once more, slowly walked towards the exit, fastening his cloak as he went. After a moment, he noticed that Tano no longer looked tense and ready for battle, but continued to watch his every move.
Turning away from the door, he hummed as he walked to the speeder parking lot. A few minutes later, two younglings watched as the white speeder swiftly disappeared into the dark greenery of Endor, becoming a tiny dot.
"Do you know what I'm thinking?" Zatt asked his friend.
"No idea," Petro shrugged. "But you're not going to let him get away, are you?"
"I think that in some situations and in a certain mood, Anakin can be quite cruel," Zutt ventured.
"Who knows, who knows," replied Petro, keeping his eyes on his departing idol.
***
"And every evening, if the weather was nice, they would walk across the field, holding hands like heroes in a beautiful novel," Katuni said enthusiastically, while Asoka lay on her bed listening to her chatter.
The girl gathered Padmé's things to take them out. Shaak Ti decided that this needed to be done to make more room for Asoka and the children. Anakin agreed with great reluctance. Tano sighed lightly, thinking that lately Skywalker had been doing and saying everything as if reluctantly. He even seemed to be living the same way, purely out of inertia.
For three days, the Togruta did not leave the hut, finally recovering and caring for the twins. During the day, Katuni came to visit her, and Shaak Ti brought food and checked on her well-being. In return for her help with the food, Anakin shared with her the meat he had hunted. He always ate separately from Asoka. She saw him little; Skywalker seemed to avoid her company altogether, constantly finding things to do outside the house: going on reconnaissance missions, hunting, or simply volunteering to repair weapons and speeders. He was very knowledgeable in this field and enjoyed enormous authority. Petro took care of the household chores, and when Anakin did come in, he hardly looked at Asoka, and when he did, it was with short, unkind glances.
Togruta explained this behaviour as depression caused by the loss of his beloved wife. After all, if you believed what Katuni had said and remembered what Asoka herself had seen, it seemed that Padmé was not just a special woman, she was a saint.
"When the sun shone too brightly over Endor, she would go for a walk, covering her head with a beautiful lace umbrella," Katuni unfolded this work of art above her head, and Asoka almost suffocated with delight. She had never seen such beauty. What a pity that the girl had already put the umbrella away. "And Anakin would always lean towards her face, and they would start whispering. It was as if what they said was something no one else was allowed to know. But if you could have seen the way he looked at her, as if there was no one else in the whole world. If only Skywalker would look at me like that just once, I would give anything for it.
Ahsoka couldn't imagine how anyone could want something like that, remembering the looks Anakin now gave her. She didn't understand what could be good about a relationship between a man and a woman.
But then she remembered distant scenes from her early childhood. It was before Ahsoka was taken to the Order and when her father was still alive. They lived in a small but very beautiful house in a Shili village. It had a green roof and white curtains covering the windows. On weekends, her parents would go visiting, holding hands. Tano remembered how she loved to pull their hands apart and hang on them. Her parents would laugh and lift her up, playing along.
This showed that relationships with men were not always humiliating and vile; sometimes there were completely different examples.
Meanwhile, Katuni continued:
"Senator Amidala's skin was amazingly white, almost like milk, and her hair was so smooth, all lying flat, so beautiful, dark brown, and never out of place.
Asoka involuntarily touched her lekku at these words. She remembered how, the morning after she moved into Anakin's house, Katuni and Shaak Ti had given her a thorough bath. Togruta scrubbed herself with a washcloth until her skin was red, and then spent a long time scrubbing the lekku and montralls to remove dust and dry skin.
But even so, she knew that even washed and changed, she was still far from Padmé's perfect beauty. And Anakin, seeing her refreshed, said nothing, just grunted and went on his way.
However, this was hardly surprising, given that he was accustomed to human women, and Asoka's appearance was bound to cause him aversion, to say the least. For some reason, this thought troubled the Togrutar more than anything else.
"Are you tired?" Katuni asked sympathetically, noticing that Ahsoka's attention had wandered a little. "Master Ti said that if you get tired, I should shut up and get out of here.Togruta smiled; she had already grown fond of everyone she had met in the Order, especially Katuni, who was so kind and responsive.
"No, I'm not tired," Asoka hastened to say. "I've slept enough for the rest of my life these past few days, but Luke and Leia are about to wake up, and they're as hungry as two evoks.
Asoka lifted the canopy from the cot and turned the twins onto their backs. How much she loved these children. It was incredible. She had been sure that after her mother's death, she would never be able to love another living creature, but now she had grown to love these orphans with all her heart. Perhaps it was because Luke and Leia were now completely dependent on her and could not possibly hurt her, but only love her in return? When the babies had eaten their fill and Ahsoka began to button her shirt, Petro returned, herding the bow into the pen. Only then did Shaak Ti enter the house.
"Isn't it time for you to go for a walk?" she asked Asoka bluntly, as always.
"Are you suggesting that I leave the house?" Tano asked anxiously.
Until now, she had only seen Master Yoda and Lady Joka in the entire camp and was completely unprepared for the mockery of the others.
"Are you still not feeling well?" Shaak asked suspiciously.
"No, I just don't have anything to wear," Ahsoka admitted frankly.
"I brought something," said the woman, untying the bag. "These are Katuni's things. There may not be much, but you can't go around in a shirt all the time."
Asoka quickly rinsed herself with water and began pulling on tights.
"You're as thin as a stick," Shaak shook her head disapprovingly, looking at Tano's emaciated figure. "I don't understand how you were able to give birth.
However, when it came to her breasts, the woman no longer felt that way. The buttons on her dress barely closed. Shaak Ti struggled with them for a long time, but finally gave up on the top ones, leaving them unbuttoned. Asoke wasn't very comfortable in her new clothes, but at least she wasn't ashamed to be seen by others. Petro was able to repair her boots and replace the fastenings. While she was putting them on, Katuni placed a golden crown on her montralla.
"Isn't she lovely?" Shaak Ti said proudly, looking at the result of her work. "Anakin brought us some birds he shot this morning, and I roasted them, because he'll definitely be happy to have a tasty dinner. He's fixing the speeders right now, so put the children's beds by the entrance and sit on the porch. The fresh air will do you good."
Ahsoka hesitantly left the house and was surprised to see how busy life was outside the camp. She saw men and women, many of whom she recognised, running back and forth and giving each other instructions.
"Zatt brought water from the spring," Shaak Ti's voice came from nearby. "Warm it up, Anakin will definitely want coffee when he comes.
Tano was glad to keep herself busy so she wouldn't have to think about how people might be looking at her and what they might be thinking. She had already made coffee, tasted the meat stew Shaak Ti had brought, checked on the twins, and, not knowing what else to do, stood at the porch and looked at the forest so she wouldn't have to return people's glances. But she had to deal with one person after all. The one who was literally devouring her alive.
***
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