The babies squeaked softly, and Anakin realized that they were full and had fallen asleep. Skywalker's hand trembled, and a drop of blood appeared on the soapy foam on his cheek. Petro shifted nervously from foot to foot, not understanding what he could have said to cause the young man's brow to furrow and his voice to change. Although, what was there to be surprised about? He had just buried his beloved wife; it would be strange to see him cheerful and carefree.
"Do you think the rebels will reveal their plan soon?" Peter asked, changing the subject."I think no later than a couple of months," replied Anakin, shaving off the last of his stubble.
"Have you talked to them before?" the boy asked.
"Yes, more than once," said Skywalker, wiping his face with a towel and pouring the soapy water onto the grass. He then wiped the razor and carefully placed it with the other accessories in an elegant leather case.
Padmé had given him this shaving kit on his last birthday. He tried to think about that instead of listening to the quiet lullaby coming from the house.
"You're lucky, I've never even heard of them," said Petro with a touch of envy. "I can't wait to meet the rebels.
Anakin smiled good-naturedly and looked at the teenager:
"Yeah, they have a lot to tell.
"Do you want me to help you around the house today?"
Anakin glanced quickly at the house and, considering his plans for the day, made up his mind:
"I wouldn't mind, unless you need help at your house.
"Don't worry about it, Zatt can help us if Master Ti is busy," Petro reassured his older friend.
"In that case, I'll take my motor speeder and go hunting, because lately I've been eating only what people bring me," said Skywalker. "Today, may the Force help me get some meat.
"Great, I'll go tell the others. See you later, Anakin," Petro saluted him and ran across the camp to his house, where Shaak Ti was already standing, giving orders to her students in the tone of a seasoned general.
Anakin looked at his house. The curtains were drawn. Skywalker had left there in the evening after Shaak Ti had arranged for his former apprentice to spend the night in the very bed where he had slept with Padmé. Enakineer hadn't been there since, settling in the hallway on a rough straw mattress with a rolled-up robe for a pillow and a cloak for a blanket.
But that wasn't the point. After all, Anakin had often had to sleep in similar conditions throughout the war. The point was that he physically couldn't bear the thought of a woman like Ahsoka sleeping in Padmé's bed. The very bed where he had slept with her. The bed where she had died. Skywalker was still not sure he could look at Thano calmly, but he would not be himself if he allowed this wanton woman with her feigned innocent gaze to feel like a guest in his own home.
And, driven by this determination, the man opened the door. Ahsoka was asleep. The twins were curled up in cosy balls on either side of her. Striped lekku were scattered across the pillow.
No, Anakin did not like the idea that if she woke up, she would surely see him looking at her. But if he was going hunting, he needed the ammunition the Ewoks had given him. Skywalker made a terrible noise before he could find them, even though he knew exactly where they were. Putting a few in his belt pocket, he turned to leave and caught the eye of Tano, who had woken up.
She didn't move or say anything, just watched his movements. It was as if someone had trespassed on her territory. Anakin pulled his cloak around him angrily. Ahsoka continued to stare at him in silence. He had noticed that since they had met again, Tano had become pensive and taciturn.
What was wrong with her? Could she have lost her mind on top of everything else? Unable to bear her silent gaze any longer, Anakin spoke first:
"Would you like some coffee?"
Ahsoka nodded, tossing her front locks behind her back:
"Yes.
Skywalker, cursing himself for asking the question, headed for the kitchen. Great, just what he needed. When he agreed to live with Ahsoka, he didn't sign up to take care of her, bringing her coffee in bed like her personal slave.
Anakin splashed the hot liquid into the mug, a few scalding drops falling on his hand, giving him a good excuse to curse sensually and intricately. It felt better. He hadn't cursed like that since he left Tatooine. Since Padmé came into his life.
Returning to the room, Anakin handed the mug to Asoka. She took it cautiously, licking her lips:
"Thank you, please take the children, I'm afraid I'll spill coffee on them.
Anakin looked at her and realised that he hadn't been in such a difficult situation for a long time. Except perhaps when he first had dinner at the Naboo estate. But even then, he wasn't embarrassed by his size, which now seemed so huge compared to the two little ones. But that was only half the trouble.
Not only could he not and did not want to pick up these children, whom he did not even want to see, but he could not do so without touching Ahsoka. They were lying so close to her. Asoka realised this herself and tried to move away from Luke and Leia, but they immediately rolled back towards her. Anakin was already beginning to feel irritated and, trying not to give in to his feelings, he grabbed both twins by the shoulders and pulled them away from Asoka. He didn't notice that Leia had grabbed the edge of her shirt with her hand, and now it was stretched tight against Tano's chest, making her nipples stand out against the white fabric. Asoka calmly freed the fabric of her dress and handed her father his children.
"Finish your coffee quickly," Anakin said impatiently, afraid above all else of dropping the children. Or fighting the urge to do so deliberately. After all, it was them that the man considered primarily responsible for Padmé's death.
Ahsoka listened to herself. The family illness had almost passed, and today there was not even any heat. She took the mug and drank, looking at Anakin, who was clumsily holding the twins in his arms and looking away.
"They slept through the night," Tano explained, not waiting for him to speak.
"I didn't hear them until dawn," Skywalker replied mechanically.
"They were just hungry. By the way, do they need a nappy change?" Asoka asked, remembering.
Anakin suddenly laughed when he saw a wet spot on his trousers:
"They do.
"I just don't know how to change them. Shaak Ti will come and show me. Do you have everything you need?" she asked another question.
"I don't know," Anakin replied, clearly taken aback. "I'll check. Maybe Padmé... Maybe she had time to prepare something."
Noticing how he stumbled over the name of the deceased, Ahsoka said sympathetically:
"I am very sorry for your loss.
Anakin sighed bitterly, involuntarily lowering his gaze to the children, noticing that his hands were larger than their heads and seemed much darker against their skin. Especially his right hand.
"Tell me, you must regret that Padmé died and I survived. Is that right?" Asoka asked involuntarily.
Anakin shuddered involuntarily, realising how easy it was to read his thoughts. But he had no intention of apologising. Still, so as not to confirm the obvious, he decided to ask a counter-question:
"Why did you give birth here? Alone?
"I had nowhere else to go, I gave birth where it all began," came the immediate reply, causing an involuntary surge of anger.
Padmé, his beloved and dear Padmé, now lies in a grave, and this woman, who cannot even compare to her, sits here and feeds her children.
"What were you running from? The Empire?" he asked, saying the first thing that came to mind. "Or maybe your husband?"
"I never had a husband," she replied quietly.
"Oh, really?" he said casually.
Asoka looked up at him, her eyes flashing. How dare this smug man judge her without even knowing what she had been through! No, Asoka had already allowed a man to ruin her life once, and she would not make that mistake again.
"Knight Skywalker," she said, lifting her chin. "Just yesterday, you said it would be better for your children if they were dead. Yes, that's right, it would be better for them, just as it would be better for me. I wanted to die so badly, but Padmé died and I lived. That was the Force's decision. And since the children need to be fed and cared for, I will do that, replacing their mother.
"Don't forget, you're just a wet nurse, they already have a mother," Anakin tried to rebuke her, but it was clear that the Togrutta's words had hurt him deeply.
"But she's gone," the girl continued in the same tone.
Anakin couldn't take it anymore and, jumping up from his chair, was suddenly beside her, his eyes flashing wildly, making it clear that he had come only to kill...
***
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