Inside the secret base.
In front of Black Zetsu lay a thick stack of documents. These were intelligence reports that White Zetsu and his clones had spent an enormous amount of time and effort collecting yesterday, all concerning information about the ninja world.
He flipped open the first page and immediately saw written there:
"A sow gave birth to twenty-one piglets at midnight, mother and children safe."
Black Zetsu's mouth twitched slightly. He had no idea what kind of bizarre intelligence this was supposed to be.
He turned to the next page, only to see:
"The widow Wang from the neighboring village has long had a crush on Zhang Mazi from her own village. Tonight, she plans to force herself upon him."
Unable to hold back, Black Zetsu cursed aloud:
"Damn it! How can this be counted as intelligence?"
He shook his head and continued flipping through the reports.
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"In the Land of Water, a group of sows lined up in a row, preparing to jump into a ditch."
"In the Land of Wind, the third son of the Fourth Kazekage Rasa is being bullied by the villagers."
Black Zetsu looked at the reports in his hands, his face full of dark lines, and cursed loudly:
"Damn it, why are these guys collecting all sorts of random nonsense?!"
He had only looked through four pieces of intelligence, and three of them were utterly useless trash.
The only one with even a shred of value was the news about the Fourth Kazekage's son being bullied, but even that was pointless. After all, who would be willing to pay money for such trivial information?
Black Zetsu felt a headache coming on. He began to doubt whether letting White Zetsu establish an intelligence network had been the right decision.
If things continued like this, not only would they fail to obtain valuable intelligence, but they would also waste a huge amount of time and resources.
Still, Black Zetsu couldn't help but be a little curious—why exactly would a group of sows line up and jump into a ditch?
Was it because the weather was too hot? Were these pigs unable to bear the heat, so they ran off to bathe in the ditch?
Catching himself drifting into absurd thoughts, Black Zetsu quickly shook his head and pushed those ideas aside, continuing to flip through the reports.
When he came across the next piece of intelligence, his eyes widened instantly, and he exclaimed in shock:
"Holy shit! Who would've thought the Third Hokage had this kind of fetish?!"
Black Zetsu's heart was filled with shock and disbelief. He never would have imagined that this so-called "Professor of Ninjutsu," the esteemed Third Hokage, would do such a thing.
Instead of stopping, Black Zetsu grew even more excited as he continued to read.
"Who would have thought that behind the glorious façade of the Hokage, there was such a dark and shameful side…"
This discovery made Black Zetsu sigh in amazement. The behavior of the Third Hokage was so shameless that even he, Black Zetsu, felt shaken.
"You really can't judge a person by appearances!" Black Zetsu muttered to himself.
Then, as if something had suddenly struck him, he placed both hands on his hips and burst out into loud, manic laughter.
"Hahahahaha!"
His laughter echoed throughout the base. Only after a long while did Black Zetsu finally stop, rubbing his hands together with glee, his eyes shining with excitement.
"Hehehe… you didn't expect me to catch you with this, did you?" he whispered to himself.
He had already made up his mind. He would use this as evidence to blackmail the Hokage, extorting three to five billion from him.
If Hiruzen Sarutobi refused, then Black Zetsu would spread this information across the entire ninja world. At that point, where would Sarutobi's face be left?
Thinking about this, he couldn't wait any longer. He immediately left the base and rushed toward Konoha. The intelligence report floated down through the air and eventually landed gently on the ground.
Written on it was this:
"In his office, the Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi, through his crystal ball, spies on the women's bathhouse. Witnessing the thrilling sight, he became so aroused that blood gushed from his nose. Upon hearing sounds from outside, he swiftly cut off the image in the crystal ball. Judging from his practiced movements, this was definitely not the first time he's done it…"
This intelligence detailed the perverted deeds of the Third Hokage, leaving Black Zetsu with a completely new impression of him.
He resolved to take advantage of this opportunity to make a fortune.
Now he finally understood the benefits of building an intelligence organization. Not only could they sell information to those who needed it, but they could also use intelligence to threaten the very people involved, thereby profiting even more.
"No wonder the boss is so formidable—such a sharp business mind!" Black Zetsu praised aloud.
Only now did he realize just how frightening Yun Xiao was. A few casual pointers from him had already allowed Black Zetsu to reap immense benefits. His respect for Yun Xiao grew even deeper…
Konoha Village – Hokage Tower.
"This one's too small, not good… this one's too old, starting to sag…" Hiruzen Sarutobi muttered as he stared into his crystal ball.
Suddenly, his eyes lit up as if he had discovered something extraordinary. He pressed his face right up against the crystal ball, staring intently for a long time. Then he raised his hand into the air, his face breaking into a lecherous grin.
"Hehehe… now this is big! If I could touch that, I could die without regrets…"
As he watched, Sarutobi felt a wetness in his nose. Subconsciously, he wiped it with his hand, only to find his fingers smeared with fresh blood.
"Another nosebleed? Looks like I really need to restrain myself these days."
Saying this, he began rummaging around his office for napkins, though his eyes never left the crystal ball.
At that exact moment, Black Zetsu, who had just arrived at the Hokage's office, was utterly dumbfounded. He had never expected Sarutobi's shamelessness to go beyond even his own imagination.
He was just about to step out from the shadows and confront Hiruzen about the matter when suddenly footsteps sounded outside the door.
Realizing someone was coming, Black Zetsu gave up the idea of revealing himself and chose instead to keep observing in secret.
Bang!
The door to the Hokage's office was flung open. A man with his left eye wrapped in bandages stepped inside.
This man was none other than Konoha's strongest scapegoat—Shimura Danzō.
Konoha had countless scapegoats, but Shimura Danzō bore the majority of them. He could practically be called the root of all evil…
In fact, whenever a tragedy in Konoha couldn't be explained, people simply blamed it on Danzō.
In the world of Hokage, there was a saying:
If there's a forbidden jutsu that no one knows who invented, then it must have been created by Senju Tobirama.
If there's a tragedy that no one knows who caused, then it must have been caused by Shimura Danzō.
After all, throughout Konoha's history: the suicide of Sakumo the White Fang, Nagato's defection, Hanzō's betrayal, the deaths of Minato and Kushina, Orochimaru's betrayal, Shisui's fall, the Uchiha massacre, Kabuto's disappearance…
All of these, without exception, could be pinned on Shimura Danzō.
In the future, he would even be known as the "Fifth Half-Hokage" of Konoha. But let no one mistake the "Half-Hokage" for a true Hokage!
After all:
The Fourth Hokage sealed the Nine-Tails with his life.
The Third Hokage sealed Orochimaru's arms with his life.
And the Fifth Half-Hokage, in the future, would use his life to seal… a bridge.
Of course, that's a story for another time.
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