Throughout the journey, Deniz had been lost in deep thought. Fatih's warning from the colonel was gnawing at her mind. What they had experienced, she didn't want to harm Fatih's career with momentary emotions.
So she pulled herself together and, though her heart desperately didn't want to, she took a deep breath and spoke:
"Fatih... this will be the last informal conversation I have with you."
Fatih looked at her in shock:
"What do you mean?"
Deniz lowered her eyes:
"I had a great time today, it was wonderful. And I realized I was prejudiced against you. You're nothing like I thought. You're a much better man," she said.
Then she averted her gaze and continued in a forced voice, her lips trembling:
"But we're work colleagues and we're stationed at a military construction site. Neither for my career, nor for yours. It's best we don't cross a certain boundary."
Fatih felt a heavy weight in his chest. He wanted to tell this woman he'd gone crazy for to "stop," but she was right. He couldn't.
"You're right," Fatih said, with suppressed pain in his voice.
Even though Deniz had wanted to have this conversation herself, hearing Fatih's agreement caused a tremor in her heart. It was as if something had broken inside. When had she fallen this hard for this man?
But pulling herself together, she spoke:
"Take care of yourself, Captain," she said.
Fatih, with a forced smile:
"You too, Engineer," he replied.
They both stood there, frozen, as if they had more to say. But finally Deniz turned and walked toward her dormitory container.
Fatih watched her from behind, until she opened the door and went inside. At that moment, his eyes welled up, feeling the pain of farewell in his deepest depths.
After that day, there were no more old confrontations or conflicts. No more distant, irritated attitudes either. Their glances that met everywhere on the construction site were loaded with warm meaning. But equally distant...
They were careful not to talk too much and to maintain formality.
In morning meetings, Fatih listened respectfully to Deniz's ideas; Deniz supported Fatih's decisions regarding security measures. But whenever their eyes met, they remembered those beautiful conversations and something ached inside them.
When Deniz retreated to her dormitory in the evenings, she thought about Fatih's laughter, his warm gaze, the touch of his hand on the back of her neck. Actually, if she could go back to that first arranged date with him, would everything be different? Just imagining it was enough to make her angry with herself.
"Deniz, get a grip! This man is your work colleague. This matter is over," she muttered.
Fatih felt even more isolated after that day. It was as if he'd glimpsed happiness just at the edge but then it had slipped through his fingers. Now there were only images, sounds, and scents battling in his mind.
He remembered Deniz's orange scent, the happy expression her face took on while eating, the way her hair waved in the wind, and tried to convince himself: "She's right, it could never work between us."
As the days passed, Deniz now understood Lieutenant Harun's feelings for her more clearly. Harun was constantly hovering around her, finding excuses to chat, giving subtle compliments. But Deniz didn't know what to say or how to reject him. Yes, maybe there was no reason to oppose Harun, but she felt a senseless guilt inside.
One day in the depot area of the construction building, Deniz was checking the new materials list. Her auburn hair fell to her shoulders against her bronze skin that complemented her white shirt. Lost among the pages, she was thinking with her pen in her mouth.
Harun approached with two cups of coffee in his hands, with his usual well-dressed appearance and handsome smile.
"Your coffee has arrived, ma'am," he said.
Deniz raised her hands:
"Thank you so much Harun, but..."
Extending the large iced latte in his hand, "Please don't refuse. It's so hot outside, you need something cold," Harun insisted.
Deniz reluctantly took the coffee:
"Thanks, you're very thoughtful. Did they open a café on the construction site and I didn't know?" she said with a smile.
Harun sat on a crate and started watching her:
"I went down to the center for a mission. When I saw the café, I thought of you. I thought I'd get you a cold coffee since you complain about there being no ice here," he said.
Deniz nodded and giggled, took a sip of her coffee, and it really hit the spot.
"So how did you bring it without the ice melting?" she asked curiously.
Harun gave her a mischievous look and gestured for her to come closer. When Deniz approached, he whispered, "There might not be an ice machine here, but military vehicles have cooling compartments inside."
Deniz's eyes widened and she hit his arm. "You're so sneaky and you're only telling me this now!" she said.
Now they were both laughing.
Just as Deniz brought her lips close to her coffee, her gaze shifted to another direction and she saw Captain Fatih at the depot entrance with a battalion of soldiers behind him...
There was no expression on Fatih's face, but his gaze seemed to reveal his pain.
He approached them.
Harun immediately stood at attention and saluted, saying "Commander!"
Fatih fixed his stern gaze on Harun. "At ease, Lieutenant," he said.
Then he turned to Deniz. "You requested help at the meeting for the items to be moved from the depot. My unit will assist you," he said in a formal manner.
Deniz, not knowing where to put her hands and arms, trying not to show her inexplicable shyness, muttered "Thank you very much, Captain."
Fatih nodded in greeting and left the depot.
Corporal Samet slowly approached from among the soldiers. "Where should we start, Ms. Deniz?" he said.
Deniz immediately put down her coffee and reached for the list. "Samet, these are the codes, you just need to gather the boxes according to their codes. Tomorrow I'll have the workers distribute them to the construction site sections using these codes," she said.
Samet said "Okay, Ms. Deniz" and immediately organized the unit and started working.
Harun turned his gaze to Deniz and spoke. "You work too hard, Deniz. It would be good if you took a break."
Deniz, with a tired expression on her face, said "We're just at the beginning of the project. I don't have time to relax. I need to keep a tight grip on the work from now on."
Harun smiled, with a warm attitude. "What about evenings? You're constantly staying in your dormitory. If you went out a bit..."
Deniz raised her head and laughed.
"Harun, we're in the middle of a valley like a desert, there aren't many places to go out here."
"Actually, there are. Iğdır city center is a beautiful city. We could have dinner..."
Deniz hesitated. She understood where Harun was going:
"Harun... I feel a bit... awkward."
"I know, I hope I didn't misunderstand you. If I did, I'll be very embarrassed. But... I only see you as a friend," she said.
Harun's face fell but he quickly recovered. "I want you as a friend too anyway. It's obvious you're lonely, it would be good for you to socialize a bit," he said with a smile.
Deniz just said, "I don't know, let me think about it then."
The next day, after the morning meeting, Fatih was touring the construction site. He had documents in his hand and seemed to be looking for Deniz.
He saw Deniz and Harun in the common area gazebo ahead. It was break time, he couldn't say anything to either of them. But when he saw Harun sitting so close to Deniz, he paused. His fists clenched and his jaw ground. At that moment, there was only one thought:
"I'm a soldier too, isn't he? Why are you getting close to him when you pushed me away!" he muttered to himself.
And unable to stop the jealousy that now seeped into his bones, as if wanting to disturb them, he walked quickly toward them.
With a couple of small coughs to announce himself,
"Excuse me, I've disturbed you," Fatih said, his voice somewhat harsh.
Deniz immediately stood up:
"No, you haven't disturbed us, Captain," she said.
Fatih looked at her:
"You need to sign the materials list. There's a shipment tomorrow."
"Of course, let me look right away," Deniz said and took the documents Fatih extended.
Harun instantly stood up, standing at attention and saluting, "Commander!"
Then, "I'll leave you two alone," he said and walked away.
Fatih's devilish gaze followed Harun for a long time, then turned to Deniz.
He was practically raging with anger.
While Deniz was checking the documents, she could feel that Fatih was tense. The silence had grown heavy.
"These materials arrived right on time," Deniz said to change the subject.
"Yes," Fatih said with a short answer.
Deniz signed and extended the documents:
"Here you are."
As Fatih took the documents, his fingers touched Deniz's. They both felt that familiar electricity but immediately pulled their hands back.
"Thank you," Fatih said.
Deniz nodded. As Fatih was about to leave, he paused:
"Ms. Deniz..."
"Yes?"
Fatih looked at her. There were accumulated words in his eyes but they couldn't come out. Instead, he took the easy way out like a child jealous of his toy.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't get close to the soldiers within the work area! If I remember correctly, you wanted to be professional. Good work," he hissed.
Deniz's anger rose to her nose. What was this man saying! What had she done to get close to anyone! Look at this audacity! Just as she was about to open her mouth and snarl, Fatih turned around and walked away.
After Fatih left, Deniz took a deep breath as if to calm her anger.
"This bastard is going to treat me like this! Then I should really commit the crime!" she muttered.
She was thinking about Harun's offer. Maybe she really did need to socialize.
Maybe this was the way to get Fatih out of her head.
In the evening, after work, Deniz had made her decision:
She stopped by Lieutenant Harun's room and said "Okay. We can go to dinner tomorrow evening. But only as friends."
Harun, with a wide smile:
"Of course! Just as friends. Let's say tomorrow then? Be ready at 7, I'll come pick you up," he said.
Deniz nodded. But there was an uneasy feeling inside her.
The next evening, Deniz wore a black dress and left her long auburn hair wavy. When Harun arrived, his eyes lit up the moment he saw her:
"You look beautiful," he said.
"Thank you," Deniz said, a bit shy.
As they got in the car, Fatih saw them from his office window. His heart tightened but he didn't show it. With the deep sadness and anger he experienced, he just returned to his desk and attended to his own work.
The restaurant was nice. Harun was acting very gentlemanly, making jokes, trying to make Deniz laugh. Deniz didn't want to create tension by acting cold, she tried to reciprocate, but her mind kept staying on Fatih.
After a while, "You're very distracted," Harun said during the meal.
Deniz startled:
"I'm sorry. I'm tired I guess."
"It's okay. But I'm curious, is there a man you left behind in New York or Eskişehir?"
Deniz was surprised:
"No, why do you ask?"
"Because sometimes you're very far away. Like you're living somewhere else. Your eyes seem to be searching for someone else," he said.
Deniz tried to smile:
"Just work stress."
Harun put his hand on the table:
"Deniz, I don't want to just be friends with you."
Deniz froze:
"Harun..."
"I know, it's too early. But I can't hide my feelings for you anymore. You're a very special woman. I've felt this since the first moment I saw you. Can't you give me a chance?" he said with a sincere expression in his eyes.
Deniz didn't know what to say. Harun really was a good man. Handsome, polite, thoughtful. But...
"Harun, you're a very good man. But I'm not ready for a relationship like this right now."
Harun's face fell:
"There's someone else, isn't there?"
Deniz hesitated:
"No... I mean... it's complicated."
"I understand," Harun said with a sad expression. "Whatever label you want to give me is fine, I want to be by your side even just as your friend," he said.
He paused and continued, "But I'll wait. Maybe one day you'll change your mind. When that day comes, don't hesitate to come to me!"
Deniz didn't know Harun's thoughts ran this deep.
She swallowed with the shock of this confession and could only nod her head...