"So. You know Bogson's Tornado of Tomes," I said, eyeing the growing storm of books. I could feel the wind whipping at my face. I hoped it wouldn't dry my skin out too much.
"I know Bogson's and Ferar's. But Bogson's is more destructive, as I'm sure you agree."
"Provided you have the mana…"
"Which I do," he smirked. "With plenty to spare, too!"
I doubted that. Some of my eyes were watching the Head Librarian as he curled up behind the shelves, still trying to hide from my gaze.
He wore formal robes in the same style as Mister Guile had. But around his neck was a shining amulet of sapphire which was glowing blue.
Proof that he was drawing mana from another source to power his spell.
I wondered how much he could draw.
And if I had the ability to keep up with him. Already the books were reaching a crescendo and I knew they would soon start raining down on me.
"You're running out of time, Taran," he taunted. "Perhaps if you kneel now, I can spare you the pain of every bone in your body being broken!"
The Tornado of Tomes let out an elemental roar as it finally came to life.
I grunted grudgingly. I had to give him credit there.
I hadn't expected him to have the skill to advance the spell to its second stage which transformed it from being a mindless storm to a fully contained air elemental whose flowing currents grew even more intense.
Two glowing yellow eyes burst into life like twin suns. They rolled inside the depths of the twisting ether before fastening on me.
I sighed.
This wasn't going to be easy.
Especially with the countless eyes still feeding me information. A normal man might have fallen over by now. Or started gibbering about monkeys or tin hats or whatever it was lunatics blathered on about.
But if there was one thing no one had ever called me it was normal.
The elemental surged, yellow lightning flickering within its heart as it threw its wide arms towards me. Books whipped out of the tornado and flew at me like thick square bats. Thousands formed a cloud as their covers flapped and their spines drove towards my head like clubs.
It was a terrifying moment, I will admit.
Imagine, if you will, a copy of A Hundred Ways to Knit a Wizard Hat flying at you. Imagine the thought of it caving your skull in. That was my fear, and it seemed far too real.
I couldn't let it happen.
If that sort of trash touched me, I'd most likely die of shame.
"Numurzz'wyd M'ffz!" I snarled, holding my ground bravely.
Portals slashed open before snapping around clusters of books as they rained down on me. Still, some passed through to pummel my body, but still I stood firm.
I refused to be cowed by this underhanded mookishness.
I cast my spell over and over, trying not to break.
But slowly…
Inch…
By…
Inch…
I found myself…
Forced…
Back…
"Enid!" I gasped. "I can't hold it back much longer. I'm running out of mana. When I tell you, run for the stairs!"
She gave me an odd look and nodded. "Alright…"
"Enid!" McGoggins shouted. "Hit him from behind!"
"You want me to what?" She froze.
"Hit him from behind, I said! You're a passably good Ice Mage. You can freeze him so the Tornado of Tomes can finish him off!"
I resisted the urge to snort.
So, it was to be betrayal, was it?
"I'm sorry, Head Librarian," she called, ducking down further and getting ready to run. "But if you recall, the Headmaster did advise that if I cast any magic within the Guild Halls again, that he would have me stripped of my position, pension, and residence, before being chucked out into the street. I quite like having a pension, so I wouldn't want to upset the Headmaster again."
"Don't be a blasted fool, woman!" McGoggins roared. "This is clearly an exceptional circumstance!"
"Then I'd be grateful if you could first fill out Form 62-J, Head Librarian so I have record of your permission."
"Forget all that nonsense and just hit him!"
"I really can't, Head Librarian," she called back, a malicious smirk toying at her lips. "I'm his hostage, you see. I'm afraid until I've been formally rescued, there's nothing I can do…"
With that seemingly resolved, I decided to crack on.
Wave after wave of books kept crashing down on top of me. I bent under the weight of the elemental behind them and the information flowing into my brain from the countless eyes above was making me even more nauseous than before.
But a gentleman doesn't vomit on the floor. Especially not when there's ladies present. So, I grit my teeth and kept tearing portals open to swallow as many projectiles as I could.
Those slipping through my gauntlet still thudded into me before dropping to the floor. They accumulated around me, growing into a pile.
Not a mountain. There weren't enough of them for that.
That at least brought me a little satisfaction.
"Argh!" I wobbled on my feet. "I'm at my limit!"
The elemental sensed weakness in my voice. With a triumphant roar, it doubled its efforts, crashing over me like a tidal wave as every book from Level 6, including the pamphlets on rudimentary alchemy from Level 3, tried to batter me to death.
Level 11 wasn't far behind.
I felt like I was standing before an avalanche with no end.
Then the Library gave a shudder and my countless eyes widened in shock as the next wave started to form.
The Forbidden Section!
"No!" I moaned, my hands trembling as I raised them to defend myself. "Not the Forbidden Section! Cease this madness, McGoggin! Does your ruthlessness have no end?"
"Afraid, Taran?" The Head Librarian was fist-pumping as he grinned wildly. "Kneel! Kneel, or die!"
"I'll never kneel to you!"
"Then DIE!"
The Forbidden Section rose high above me, the elemental's howling winds whipping them into a frenzy. The twin yellow eyes of the thing glared down at me, its cyclonic body heaving and pulsing with fury.
I was an ant in its eyes.
Then, at one with the elemental's mighty arm, they plunged like a spear.
"No!" I screamed, staggering as I ripped portals open. More portals. So many portals. More than I'd ever summoned before! The Old Twit was shaking in the depths of the void, His mirth threatening to collapse the portals prematurely. The only thing keeping them from blinking out as soon as they appeared was my complete and utter contempt for this place. "I can't take any more!"
Buoyed by my flagging efforts as the last of the Forbidden Section's tomes battered my legs, the elemental huffed and reached for Level 5.
But there were no books on Level 5.
It reached for Level 2.
None there, either.
Level 19. Level 18. Level 1.
It even dug through the Children's Section in search of any remaining picture books.
Slowly, the elemental began to fade. Starved from lack of fuel, it let out a long hollow moan before dissipating on a breeze.
As the twin lights of its eyes winked out, I rubbed my hands and stood straighter. Smiling, I looked around at the devastation and felt a warm sense of pride begin to well in my heart.
Today, I told myself, I had done a great thing for humanity.
"Is that all of them?" I asked. "Are you sure you didn't miss any? I'm happy to wait if you want to get more."
McGoggins froze at my words.
Beads of sweat slithered down his forehead as the awful horror of what he'd just done began to crawl into his little brain.
"Taran…" he croaked, clawing himself to his feet. "What… What have you done?"
"Me?" I dusted myself off. I had a few bruises, but nothing I couldn't recover from with a nice hot cup of cocoa. In the meantime, I settled for pulling out my jar of biscuits. "I simply defended myself, Head Librarian. I must say, you sustained your Tornado of Tomes for a lot longer than I thought you would. I'm most grateful for your efforts. Would you like a biscuit? They're chocolate chip."
"You…" He began to shiver as tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "My books. You… Where are my books? Bring them back. Bring them back!"
"Don't be silly," I said, bending down to check the books around me. "I've kept anything which is useful. I was even generous enough to keep everything by Helfinger, even though it is derivative."
"My library," he wailed, sobbing uncontrollably. The sound of his heartbreak made me smile even wider. "You destroyed my library…"
"Hmm," I said, stepping carefully through the pile surrounding me. "I won't say it's not a library now, though I will point out your selection is still both amateurish and lacking in depth of content. You ought to buy some more now you have room for them."
"Taran!"
"Yes, Head Librarian?"
"I'll kill you!" He half-rose from his crouch looking very determined indeed. "I'll skin you alive, you monstrous brat!"
"Pardon?" My countless eyes all squinted in his direction. "What did you just say? I didn't quite catch it."
***
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