It was late, the restaurant was closed, and I was staring at the Dungeon Shop menu like an addict in front of a vending machine.
My brain told mw:
"Save up for the coffee machine."
My heart whispered:
"Fry basket."
And then my stomach whispered:
"Mystery Box."
The Mystery Box glowed like it knew my weaknesses.
"This is stupid. I'm not wasting points on..." I muttered.
I clicked.
-750 points deducted.
My sister peeked over my shoulder.
"You're such a clown."
Points Balance: 765
A chest materialized on the counter.
It rattled.
It meowed.
I took a step back. "...Is it alive?"
The lid burst open.
Out popped... a creature. Sort of.
It was small, about the size of a cat, with fluffy white fur, floppy ears, stubby wings, and big round eyes that blinked up at me. Then it sneezed. A puff of smoke came out of its nose and set the counter on fire.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" I yelled, flailing for a rag.
My sister doubled over laughing.
"Congratulations! You bought a tiny fire hazard!"
The Dungeon shimmered into view.
"Congratulations. You have unlocked a Familiar."
The creature flapped its stubby wings and landed on my head like a living hat.
"A familiar?" I groaned. "This? This thing sneezes fire."
The Dungeon tilted its head.
"Yes. Extremely useful."
The creature yawned, curled up and started snoring.
"Useful how?!"
"Training required."
The Dungeon vanished before I could question it.
Of course, the whole family had to chime in.
Mom clasped her hands.
"Oh, it's adorable! Call it Snowball!"
Step-dad grunted, "Looks like a rat. Call it Alabama."
My sister smirked. "Name it Firefart."
The Goblin Coupon Gang popped out of the kitchen, chanting in unison: "Name it COUPON JR!"
I held my head in my hands.
"It's not even a coupon!"
The familiar sneezed again. A stack of unused napkins went up in flames.
"...I'll think about it."
Later that night, I tried to figure out what my new companion could actually do.
I set a cup of instant noodles in front of it.
"Okay, buddy. If you're my familiar, maybe you can help me cook?"
The creature sniffed the noodles, sneezed, and instantly boiled the water inside.
I blinked.
"...Okay, that's actually not bad."
My sister poked her head in.
"So it's basically a walking microwave?"
I sighed.
"Better than nothing."
The creature fluttered up onto my shoulder, chirped, and nuzzled my cheek. For a second, my heart melted.
Then it sneezed fire on my shirt.
I screamed.
As I was scrubbing soot out of my uniform, Mom walked by and patted my back.
"Sweetheart, I think this familiar will change your life."
Step-dad grunted.
"It'll burn his life down, more like."
The familiar hiccupped, and a tiny flame popped out, lighting the corner of my notes on fire.
I slapped them out.
"Great" I muttered. "I'm broke, I smell like smoke and I own a fire-spitting microwave with wings."
But the little guy curled up in my lap and snored and I didn't have the heart to be mad.