The day after the slime ambush, I was still shaken. My shirt smelled faintly of burnt gelatin and charred regret, and I couldn't shake the Dungeon's words:
"Not random. Sent. By another Dungeon."
Yeah. Great. Perfect.
As if running a convenience store in a hell-maze wasn't stressful enough, now there was apparently a rival death-pit sending assassins made of jelly to murder me and my chicken delivery.
But when I walked back into the shop, the chaos wasn't slimes or skeletons or rival agents. It was... normal. Customers milling. Goblin Coupon Gang arguing over coupons shaped like socks and Mirae, behind the register, radiant as ever, handing a knight his change with the kind of smile that could bankrupt kingdoms.
I sighed in relief.
Normal was nice.
I liked normal.
Of course, normal lasted all of three minutes.
I was sitting at the counter, sipping my coffee, trying not to think about rival dungeons or fire-sneezing toddlers, when Mirae walked over.
"Boss."
I glanced up.
"Yeah?"
She hesitated. Her hands fiddled with the edge of her apron. She bit her lip, eyes darting to the side like she was working up the courage to slay a dragon.
Then she looked at me and said, clear as day:
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
...
I choked.
No, correction. I exploded.
Hot coffee shot out of my mouth like a geyser, straight across the counter, hitting her full in the face.
The world went silent.
Mirae blinked at me, dripping, her hair plastered to her cheek, steam rising faintly from her skin.
I froze, cup still in my hand, eyes wide.
"Oh my god. I. I. I didn't, I wasn't..."
My brain short-circuited.
"ARE YOU OKAY?! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I THOUGHT—WELL, DATE, YOU, COFFEE, AAHHH..."
She wiped her face with her sleeve. And then, to my utter shock... she laughed.
"Boss" she giggled, cheeks flushed, "you're such an idiot."
My ears burned hotter than Spicy's fire sneezes.
"Wait, so you're not mad? I literally just baptized you with espresso!"
"It's fine" she said, smiling softly. "I just... I wanted to ask before I lost my nerve. And besides..." her voice lowered, almost shy, "I've liked you for a while."
My brain blue-screened.
All I could manage was: "...Wha..."
"So? Will you?" she asked, tilting her head.
"...Uh. Y-Yeah. Yes. Yes, sure. Absolutely. Totally. A hundred percent. Date. Yes."
The Goblin Coupon Gang, who had been eavesdropping behind a shelf of canned beans, burst out in cheers.
"Boss got girlfriend! Boss got girlfriend!"
"Coupon double-date? Coupon discount wedding?!"
One of them blew a party horn out of nowhere.
I buried my face in my hands.
"Please, gods, let me be swallowed by a slime instead."
Mirae just laughed, brushing past them, cheeks still pink.
"Tomorrow night. Don't be late."
And just like that, she walked off to help another customer, leaving me stunned, dripping in humiliation and clutching an empty coffee cup like it had betrayed me.
Later that evening, as I restocked shelves in a daze, the Dungeon appeared.
"You are... unsettled" it said flatly.
"Unsettled?!" I hissed. "I just spat coffee all over my employee slash crush, agreed to a date I'm completely unprepared for and found out there's a rival dungeon trying to kill me! Of course I'm unsettled!"
The Dungeon tilted its head.
"So you are... experiencing stress."
"No kidding!"
It paused. Then added, flatly: "Do not spit coffee on her again. That would... reduce your chances."
I gawked.
"...ARE YOU GIVING ME DATING ADVICE RIGHT NOW?!"
The Dungeon flickered, then vanished before I could yell at it more.
Points: No Delivery Today
Balance: 1,485